Beast and The Harlot

Chapter 38

Back to Cat’s P.O.V

“Dammit, I got that fucking chord wrong again!” Syn swore, raking his hand down his face.

Jimmy sat at his drums, sticks in hand and his eyes patient.

“It’s all good, man. Just take your time…It’s not like we have to have it done tomorrow,” Matt said, clutching a water bottle in his fist.

“Yeah…Okay…Here goes another one…” he settled his fingers over the neck of the guitar and began to flow the melody of their newest try at a song.

“We’re still thinking of more lyrics, though, dude…” Zacky sucked in his lower lip in concentration.

“Yeah…But I’m drawing blanks..I can’t think of anything!” Johnny said exasperatedly.

“You think you could help us, Cait?” they both turned to me.

I stopped rubbing my stomach and attempted sitting up.

“Umm…Which one are you still working on?”

“Dancing Dead…We got like the first verses and then the chorus for sure…Just a few more verses,” Zacky held the notebook and pen to me.

“Hmm…” I read over what they had written, and pondered on how to keep the feel to the music.

“I don’t wanna screw it up,” I said with a nervous chuckle.

“Don’t worry about it. We’ll fix it, we just need something,” Johnny smiled.

“Alright…Here goes…”I took a deep breath and began writing.

“Keep the dead dancing in their graves…” I hummed softly.

I just wrote and wrote.

Finally, I felt like I had written too much, and stopped.

“You finally lose all the brain juices?” Jimmy was seated beside me and Johnny and Zacky had disappeared.

“Naw…I’m just scared it’s too much,” I kissed his cheek.

“Lemme read ‘em,” he held out his hand.

I gave it to him and warily watched him.

“Wow…Babe, these are amazing…How’d you come up with this?” he turned his eyes to me, pushing his adorable glasses up on his nose.

“I dunno…I just thought,” I laughed.

“They’re awesome! I gotta show the guys pronto,” he hopped up and left me alone.

I sat back and breathed in deeply, placing my hand over my hard as a rock belly, feeling for my children.

The one thing always on my mind…Surfaced like it always did.

Who was the father?

Would I ever grow some balls and just read the damn papers?

A tiny kick under my palm brought me out of it, and I smiled widely.

“Hey, babies…Do you not like Mommy thinking like that?” I smoothed over my shirt, loving my moment with my children.

A few more kicks and I just laughed.

“Apparently not…Mommy doesn’t like to think either.”

“They kicking?” Matt was standing mere inches from me.

“Oh…Yeah…They don’t like me thinking,” I smiled.

“Well, you shouldn’t think,” he sank next to me, looking at my hands.

“Hey Cait?”

I looked up at him. “Yeah?”

“May I?” he held his hands over my stomach.

I moved mine and let him set them over it.

“Wow, they really are kicking…” his face was priceless at the wonder written in his features.

“Yeah,” I felt kind of uncomfortable at the kicking and his hands.

“Hey, little babies,” he whispered, lowering his head to my tummy.

My heart thudded solidly three times; his softness touched me.

“I can’t wait til you’re born…There’s so many good things here…And you have the best mommy ever,” Matt laid his ear on my belly.

I tried not to let that contact phase me, but I didn’t think it worked too well.

“I just hope one of you or both are mine…”

“Matt…” I wanted to cry at the pain in his voice.

“No…It’s okay…I’m sorry. I just….I wanna be in their lives…I wanna have something left of you, Cait…” he lifted his head to stare in my eyes.

I had no words in mind to say; he had made me go utterly blank.

“If I can’t have you, I just wish to have a baby. Something left of the girl I fell in love with..”

He stood just as Jimmy, Johnny, Syn, and Zacky returned to began again on their new album.

“You not hungry, Matt? There’s burgers up front,” Johnny chomped on his.

“Nah…I just wanna get started again,” he looked at me, faking a smile.

“Alright, then. Let’s go!”


“I really have to talk to you,” Lacey’s urgent voice tore my attention from the television screen.

I had just returned home from the studio, but Jimmy had went back.

“What’s wrong?” I turned the tv off.

“Should I forgive Johnny?…I know I forgave you….But it’s hard because you didn’t know…But he damn well knew…”

I sensed there was more coming, so I didn’t say anything.

“It’s just…It’s hard because he was dating me…He even proposed to me!” she paused, and I could hear her sniffling, fighting back tears.

“Why? I just wanna know why he wanted to cheat on me…I just…I don’t get it. Am I that bad, Cait?”

“No, Lacey! You’re not bad at all, you’re beautiful…Honestly, he’s just a man….He’s gonna think with his dick, and not his head. It’s just the way they are,” I said with a sinking feeling In my stomach.

“Yeah…I guess you’re right….I just wanna forgive him though.”

“I think you should, Lace. I truly think he learned his lesson…He hasn’t been the same since you blew up on him,” I revealed, remembering how he wasn’t his usual chipper self in the studio.

“Oh…He hasn’t?”

“Not at all. He’s kind of depressing to be around,” I stated glumly.

“Well, I’m gonna call him, Cait….I just hope things go well,” she sounded hopeful.

“I’m sure it will, hon. Good luck. You can call and let me know how things go if you want,” I offered.

When I hung up the phone, I realized how it didn’t hurt me anymore.

It hadn’t even bothered me that Lacey was wanting Johnny back and if it had been a few months back, I would have hated her guts.

“Things are changing for the better,” I whispered aloud to myself.
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Sowwy for taking so long on updating.
I haven't had any time at all.
But I miss being able to write all the time :(
Lemme know what you think.
Comments please :)