Sister, I'm Not Much a Poet but a Criminal

"Hello?" I picked up my cell phone quickly. I was both grateful for the distraction, and embarassed because the ringtone had drawn all eyes in the silent room to me. I hurried outside, so my voice wouldn't disturb anyone.

"Molly? Are you okay? You stopped texting me, so I got worried."

A warm feeling spread through my stomach at the sound of Brooke's voice. She had always sort of been my savior, and this time was no different. I felt a little guilty that I'd forgotten about her over that past few days, but I had seemed to forget about everything other then my current hopeless situation.

"I'm fine. Sorry, there's just a lot of shit going on here that I don't know how to deal with."

"Like what? Maybe I can help."

I didn't know whether to tell her or not. Everything had gotten so complicated so quickly, and I didn't want to burden her with too much.

"I don't think so. There's just a lot of drama with Ariella. We're wrecking everything here. Maybe it would just be better if I came home."

"You can't give up, Molly. You can fix things. It can't be that bad. You've got the guys there, I'm sure they've got your back."

"For the most part they do, but that's kind of part of the problem."

"What do you mean?"

"They're picking sides. It's tearing them apart. If I just left, all this would go away, too."

She sighed. "We both know that you don't want to leave."

"I don't see many other options available at the moment."

"How many options did we have that one night?"

I flinched in response as she brought up the accident.

"Not many."

"And we both came out of it fine."

"No, we didn't. You went to a reform camp for juvenile delinquents. It should have been me. I was the one driving."

"But you still have more going for you. It didn't matter that I was throwing my life away, because I had no life. You've got things to look forward to. I couldn't let you change that."

"But people started talking about you," I protested.

"We've been over this. People talk about you, too. It doesn't bother you, so why should it bother me?"

"It's starting to bother me now. All kinds of secrets are pouring out and I can't stop them. I don't know how to fix this."

"You'll find a way, you always do. Who else but you could sneak me out of reform camp?"

I laughed at the memory. "A lot of good it did. You got thrown back in the next day when your mom found you."

"Yeah, but we had one hell of a night."

I returned to the bus a few moments later, feeling relieved. Brooke always knew the right things to say. I wasn't at all shocked to find everyone sitting in silence again, but I had an idea.

"Ray, can I talk to you?"

Everyone watched, amazed. This was probably the last thing anyone expected. He nodded slowly and we went to the back of the bus. He shut the door to the studio and we sat down.

"What is it?"

"You and Frank shouldn't be a part of this."

"It's not quite that simple."

"Yes, it is. This is between me and my sister, and I don't want it breaking you two apart. You're too close to let this come between you. It'll blow over eventually. Just, please, make an effort to patch things up."

"He won't listen, you know. He's really set on being there for you."

"I'm not worth all of this."

"You know that's not true. Frank would die for you. Just like I would die for your sister."

"Yeah, I know. That's the problem. I don't want this to end things with you just because you both care too much. Don't make any sacrifices for us. You're already doing enough by letting us be here."

"I'll make an effort. For you. But only if you make an effort for me."

I nodded and stuck out my hand. "Deal."

He shook my hand and we stood. I felt nervous all of a sudden. I didn't want to make up with Ariella just yet, I still needed space. But maybe, if I made the effort, she'd understand and give me room.

When we left the studio, everyone was peering curiously from the other room. We split up, Ray going to Frank and me going to Ariella.

"We need to talk," we said simultaneously.

Frank and Ray went outside, and Ariella and I headed back into the studio. My head began to spin, and I kept a hand on the wall for support. I wasn't ready for this. I'd had enough confrontation for awhile.

But whether I was ready or not, I had no other options left.

I closed the door behind us and turned to face her. She looked up expectantly.

I sighed. "Okay, let's get this over with."