Sister, I'm Not Much a Poet but a Criminal

Frank led me back to the bus and I leaned on him for support. My stomach was churning and my head was spinning. I was certain that if he hadn't had his arm around me I wouldn't have been able to walk.

"Are you mad?" I asked as I sat on the edge of the bunk.

"Why would I be mad?"

"You know all my secrets now. Even the one that I never would have told you on my own."

"It doesn't change you, or the way I think of you. I'm not a virgin, either. Don't worry," there was a slight smile on his lips as he watched the comfort of his words kick in like a drug. I sighed and lay back, then turned to him and smirked.

"What?" he asked cautiously. "Are you drunk or something? That look is creeping me out."

"Remember when you kissed me on stage?"

"Yeah."

"Remember how my lip was bleeding? Your lip ring is red."

He quickly wiped his hand across his lip. "Do you think your sister saw?"

"Doubt it. I wouldn't care if she did, though."

"I would. I like living, thank you."

"Yeah, I kind of like having you around."

"Same to you," he smiled and kissed me quickly. After scratching at his lip ring again to ensure it was clean, he closed the off-white curtain and I heard him walk away.

The bus door opened and I heard the others enter. Their voices were urgent whispers and I even heard the occasional hiss, but they were too quiet for me to make out the words. Not that I could have listened properly without having a breakdown anyways. Soon I heard the bunks around me creak as the others shifted in their beds and drew their curtains closed.

I gave up on sleep altogether after awhile. Too many thoughts were filling my head, and I couldn't seem to focus on any particular one. I couldn't keep my eyes closed for more than a few seconds at a time. When I was certain that everyone else was asleep, I decided I needed to go for a walk.

I slid from the bunk and walked down the deserted bus, only to find Frank sitting up on the couch, staring out the window. He looked up when I entered, and motioned for me to sit with him. I curled up in his waiting arms, and his warm embrace calmed me down.

"What are you doing up?" he asked.

"Couldn't sleep. You?"

"Same. Maybe I've got insomnia."

"Yeah, I bet that's it."

He sighed, and I looked up at him, worried.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Tell me. Please? You're always there to help with my problems, why can't I help with yours?"

"Because I'm just trying to figure something out, that's all."

"Humor me."

"I just want to know what to do to get you and Ariella talking again."

It was my turn to sigh. I was irritated. Why did everything always have to wind up about her? "We'll work it out eventually. We always do. I'm sure this time won't be any different."

"I just hate seeing you unhappy."

"I won't always be in a good mood, Frankie. That's just the way it goes," he opened his mouth to protest, but I cut him off. "Don't get me wrong, I appreciate all you do for me, but you won't always be able to save the day."

"But I can try," he murmured, kissing my forehead lightly. He still seemed distant.

"Tell me what's wrong."

"Nothing. You worry too much," he laughed a little, but there was no humor in his voice. I wanted to say more, but I knew that too much persistence on the subject would simply make him pull away. I didn't want to push him too far. "You really should get some rest, Molly."

"Can't I stay with you?"

"We'll get caught."

"So?"

"So I thought we agreed that we wanted me to live."

"Will you come stay with me, then?"

"Okay," he gave in. "I'll be up early enough to cover our asses."

I grinned and we walked back to the bunk. He lay down beside me and slipped his arms around me. I rested my head on his shoulder. As I inhaled his scent, all the thoughts crowding my mind dissolved, replaced only by a strong feeling of being content. Sleep came quickly, and I was grateful.

When I woke up, Frank was gone. I moved to get up, then hesitated. What was going to happen when I was face to face with Ariella? I peeked out from the curtain and saw Frank sitting alone. Relieved, I went to join him. I paused to get a cup of coffee. It was the first one I'd had to get for myself. I sat down beside him, and we stared out the window in silence. In that peaceful moment, nothing needed to be said.

I heard movement, indicating that someone else was up. I didn't move my gaze from the window, too scared to face the possibility that it might be my sister. My fears were confirmed when I felt the tension in the room. It pressed in all around me, forcing me down into the depths of the unknown and leaving me there to drown. My insides squirmed and I felt my chest collapse. I was nervous. There was reason enough for tension, but not of this strength. Not only could I not breathe, I couldn't move. It was an enourmous effort to simply turn my head to face the room. That was when I got confused. Ariella wasn't in the room, it was Ray. And then it hit me.

I was singlehandedly tearing apart the only group of people that had ever made me feel whole. Ironic, huh?