Sequel: True Lies Are As Good As False Honesty ›
Such a Lovely Boy
Your Remorse Hasn't Fallen On Deaf Ears,
PETE’S POV
I walked into the bathroom and pulled my shirt over my head. The huge white-trimmed mirror took up an entire wall and I swallowed hard at the sight of the many bruises and scars that covered my body from regular beatings.
Fag. Poofter. Good For Nothing. Bastard. And worse, echoed through my mind. I grabbed my head trying to make my mind shut up and howled loudly.
The door handle rattled viciously and Frank burst in, tumbling to the ground beside me. His breathing was unsteady and off.
“Are, are you alright?” he trembled grabbing my face and looking for any signs of anything being wrong.
“Sorry, I’m fine, I just...” I closed my eyes and left my sentence incomplete.
“This...this happened often huh” Frank said his eyes running up and down my exposed body. I couldn’t stand him looking at me like that all sorry for me and judging my body. I grabbed my shirt and pulled it back on without a word.
“Don’t” I finally said, pulling my knees to my chest.
“I...” he started, looking hurt.
I hunched over and glanced away from him. He pulled me into a hug and remained silent. We sat there for what seemed like hours before the doorbell rang and interrupted.
“I’ll just go see who that is, then I’ll come right back” Frank said begrudgingly getting up and leaving me.
I gathered myself and grabbed his hand. He clutched mine back and held it close to his side.
“Hello?” he shouted as we walked downstairs.
“Frank, that you?” the voice on the other side of the door asked.
“Yeah, yeah it’s me Gerard. Come in” Frank said with a smirk and Gerard walked in. I stepped back from Frank, dropping his hand.
Last time I’d talked to Gerard he wasn’t overly impressed with me so I decided it was best to stay out of his way.
“Hey Frank” Gerard said pulling Frank into a hug before letting him go and spotting me.
“I’m just gonna go...back to uh, sleep and bed…” I said quickly, not realizing my stuff up in speech until after I’d said it.
“Hey Pete” Gerard stepped towards me. Oh god he’s going to kill me, he’s much stronger than he looks. I stepped back and tried to find the staircase. My hand was moving psychotically to find the railing without me having to turn around.
“Fuck, Pete stop freaking out. Mikey told me what happened, it’s cool” He smiled in a way that made me actually believe him.
“Uh...yeah, course ha...ha, hi Gerard” I still stuttered, he’d always intimidated me. I could never figure out why.
“Petey, maybe you should go have that shower now” Frank said glancing over at me briefly before focusing back on Gerard.
“Sure...” I fumbled then wandered back up to the bathroom.
*
Once again I was greeted by my reflection in the mirror. I hated that mirror for being there almost as much as I hated Gerard for being here. Ever heard of timing? I pouted and sat against the wall, staring off into nothing, this way I couldn’t see that horrendous mirror.
*
“Everything ok up there, Petey?” I heard Frank call. There’s no water running...that’d probably make it a little more convincing, right?
“Yeah, I just couldn’t get the tap unstuck but it’s good now” I shouted back stumbling to my feet and turning on the shower. I couldn’t get the tap unstuck? I recounted my words and bit my lip. Well in the time frame I had it was the best I could come up with, ok. I stood there watching the water shoot from the showerhead like bullets into the shower then all join as one and slide down the plughole.
I just wanted to join them, stupid I know, but I just wanted to run away and join everyone else, be like everyone else...I wanted to be the kid who gets asked if he wanted to come play ball or make castles in the sand pit, not the kid left by himself making up stories to amuse himself while he watched the others having fun. I didn’t want to be different, to stand out, I just wanted to belong.
I sighed and threw off my clothes. I stepped into the shower, still watching to the water and not watching the mirror. There must be something wrong with me for my family to hate me so much, I mean other than I’m gay...they can’t hate me just for that, surely I’ve done something else to piss them off. I just can’t think of what or how to make it up to them so they’ll love me.
*
--------------------------------------------
Just so you know stupid school
report cards came today so if i
don't update in a while that'll be
why >_<
--------------------------------------------
Title and description from: Fall
Out Boy's "My Heart Is The Worst
Kind Of Weapon"
I walked into the bathroom and pulled my shirt over my head. The huge white-trimmed mirror took up an entire wall and I swallowed hard at the sight of the many bruises and scars that covered my body from regular beatings.
Fag. Poofter. Good For Nothing. Bastard. And worse, echoed through my mind. I grabbed my head trying to make my mind shut up and howled loudly.
The door handle rattled viciously and Frank burst in, tumbling to the ground beside me. His breathing was unsteady and off.
“Are, are you alright?” he trembled grabbing my face and looking for any signs of anything being wrong.
“Sorry, I’m fine, I just...” I closed my eyes and left my sentence incomplete.
“This...this happened often huh” Frank said his eyes running up and down my exposed body. I couldn’t stand him looking at me like that all sorry for me and judging my body. I grabbed my shirt and pulled it back on without a word.
“Don’t” I finally said, pulling my knees to my chest.
“I...” he started, looking hurt.
I hunched over and glanced away from him. He pulled me into a hug and remained silent. We sat there for what seemed like hours before the doorbell rang and interrupted.
“I’ll just go see who that is, then I’ll come right back” Frank said begrudgingly getting up and leaving me.
I gathered myself and grabbed his hand. He clutched mine back and held it close to his side.
“Hello?” he shouted as we walked downstairs.
“Frank, that you?” the voice on the other side of the door asked.
“Yeah, yeah it’s me Gerard. Come in” Frank said with a smirk and Gerard walked in. I stepped back from Frank, dropping his hand.
Last time I’d talked to Gerard he wasn’t overly impressed with me so I decided it was best to stay out of his way.
“Hey Frank” Gerard said pulling Frank into a hug before letting him go and spotting me.
“I’m just gonna go...back to uh, sleep and bed…” I said quickly, not realizing my stuff up in speech until after I’d said it.
“Hey Pete” Gerard stepped towards me. Oh god he’s going to kill me, he’s much stronger than he looks. I stepped back and tried to find the staircase. My hand was moving psychotically to find the railing without me having to turn around.
“Fuck, Pete stop freaking out. Mikey told me what happened, it’s cool” He smiled in a way that made me actually believe him.
“Uh...yeah, course ha...ha, hi Gerard” I still stuttered, he’d always intimidated me. I could never figure out why.
“Petey, maybe you should go have that shower now” Frank said glancing over at me briefly before focusing back on Gerard.
“Sure...” I fumbled then wandered back up to the bathroom.
*
Once again I was greeted by my reflection in the mirror. I hated that mirror for being there almost as much as I hated Gerard for being here. Ever heard of timing? I pouted and sat against the wall, staring off into nothing, this way I couldn’t see that horrendous mirror.
*
“Everything ok up there, Petey?” I heard Frank call. There’s no water running...that’d probably make it a little more convincing, right?
“Yeah, I just couldn’t get the tap unstuck but it’s good now” I shouted back stumbling to my feet and turning on the shower. I couldn’t get the tap unstuck? I recounted my words and bit my lip. Well in the time frame I had it was the best I could come up with, ok. I stood there watching the water shoot from the showerhead like bullets into the shower then all join as one and slide down the plughole.
I just wanted to join them, stupid I know, but I just wanted to run away and join everyone else, be like everyone else...I wanted to be the kid who gets asked if he wanted to come play ball or make castles in the sand pit, not the kid left by himself making up stories to amuse himself while he watched the others having fun. I didn’t want to be different, to stand out, I just wanted to belong.
I sighed and threw off my clothes. I stepped into the shower, still watching to the water and not watching the mirror. There must be something wrong with me for my family to hate me so much, I mean other than I’m gay...they can’t hate me just for that, surely I’ve done something else to piss them off. I just can’t think of what or how to make it up to them so they’ll love me.
*
--------------------------------------------
Just so you know stupid school
report cards came today so if i
don't update in a while that'll be
why >_<
--------------------------------------------
Title and description from: Fall
Out Boy's "My Heart Is The Worst
Kind Of Weapon"