It's in Our Blood

“Hey.”

I laid on my bed, my arms under my head. Nyx sat at the edge.

“What happened back there?” she asked.

I gave a nonchalant shrug.

Nyx gave me a puzzled look, “Then why did you walk out so quickly?”

I didn’t reply. I averted my gaze outwards to the windows. Night had fallen. I felt like I was watching what I was doing, as a third party. My own skin felt like a stranger to me.

Nyx sighed, “Get well rested. Tomorrow’s a Sunday so don’t wake up early.”

She walked out the room, giving me one more reproachful look. She can tell there’s something different with me. I can tell myself something was different… But what was it?

I did not sleep that night. My body lay on my bed, occasionally switching positions. I laid on my side, my left side to avoid increasing the shots of pain. Under the thick covers of my Spongebob bed sheets, I wore a grey wife beater and loose black shorts. Regardless of my warm cover, my insides felt cold making me miss the fire that ignited under Jacob’s touch.

My fingers would subconsciously brush over the bare skin of my right shoulder under the covers, feeling the indented scares of Victoria’s fangs. And every time I did, I felt farther and farther away from myself. Like I was merely a spectator, watching my life unfold.

Dawn soon approached. Sunday morning had arrived. Luckily my curtains were closed, blocking out most of the sun’s rays. The cool air awoke my dream like trance. My body felt oddly superior, confident and overly arrogant for some strange reason. My mind was confused though. But a strikingly long familiar phrase lingered.

‘Relax.’

And so I did. I allowed my subconscious to take over my body. It seemed to make everything easier. My muscle memory was still as strong as when I was a human child thankfully. I hurriedly threw off my clothes to put on new ones, washing my face and fixing my hair.

My hair was placed in two high messy pig tails causing my hair to resemble Misa Misa in Death Note. I wore baggy ripped black shorts that reached to the end of my knee caps as well as a tight fitting Avenged Sevenfold death bat black tank top that barely reached to the top of my shorts. A large Escape the Fate hoodie was worn on top causing it to seem like a large overcoat.

I pulled the sleeves of the hoodie to my elbows, walking down. Nyx was most likely up, running around the forest for exercise. I checked her room, clothes and hoodies messily drenched around the room, much resembling that of a stereotypical boy’s. Her custom Nike Dunks and ipod were missing from her collection.

I swiped another pair of her Nike Dunks as my converse, being the only pair of shoes I owned, are ruined. I made a mental note to get myself new shoes later. But that didn’t seem important right now. Nothing really seemed important. This morning was eerily quiet.

Something I felt it was my duty to ruin.

Images of the Cullens and Bella kept repeating in my mind. Their happy little family. Alice, Bella, Edward, Emmett, Jasper, Rosalie, Carlisle and my mother… It sickened me. Was it wrong to be jealous, to be angry of my mother’s new family?

‘No.’

It wasn’t. Because she was the one who left. She was the one who made no effort to contact us again. She was the one who should be guilt ridden of everything she has done. For being a hypocrite saying she’ll love only my father and I forever. Because Esme is the one at fault here. Not me.

Not me.

I strode out of the house, leaving the door unlocked for whenever Nyx came back. I pulled my hood over my head, blocking out some of the sun’s bright rays. Shoving my hands in my large hoodie pockets, I walked out towards the forest mountain side.

The tree tops gave an immense cover of shade, shielding my skin. Soon enough, I found a comfortable little clearing. My body was still worn from what had occurred in the past two days.

Victoria… I glanced down at my hands. I could still feel her cold touch roughly pressing against my human flesh. Her revengeful spirit felt empowering in a sense. The way it drove her dedication and her determination to get what she wanted out of her existence. That was inspiring.

I smacked my forehead harshly. Why was I thinking about her? Well… No wrong question. Why was I thinking about Victoria like some kind of idol?

Footsteps crunched some soft fallen leaves. My head looked to my side, seeing a familiar male walking towards me. Feelings of peace fell through me. Jasper was walking calmly and sat down beside me without a word.

“Hey.” whispered Jasper.

I looked away, not willing to converse.

“What are you doing out here? You should be at home resting.” He told me.

I bit my lip, wrapping my arms around myself.

Jasper let out a sigh, “Alice is freaking out and Nyx is… Well she’s being Nyx.”

I stifled a laugh, letting only a small chuckle escape from me. Jasper smiled at me warmly. He stood up, patting the non existent dust from his pants and extended his hand towards me. I grabbed it and he helped me up.

Jasper pulled me along the forest, brushing out branches in the way.

“Where are we going?” I asked.

“My place.” He answered.

“As in with your family?” I questioned.

Jasper didn’t answer me. Shit, I was going back there.

I pulled my hand away from his, quickly.

“Dude, I’m not going.”

Jasper gave me a firm stare, “You have to. Dad has to check up on you.”

I narrowed my eyes, “Why?”

Jasper sighed, “Because you’re still recovering.”

“Then I’ll go home and rest!” I retaliated.

Jasper rolled his eyes, grabbing my wrist tightly, “Come on.”

I struggled against his grip furiously. Jasper grew annoyed and threw me over his shoulder. He held my waist tightly with his arm, ensuring that I could not jump off or escape, well not easily. I became frustrated with myself and him. I did not bother to waste energy by beating his back.

I was dropped into a soft couch, only moments later. Jasper towered over me with a teasing smile. I rolled my eyes and sank into the couch. Alice flew towards me, or at least it seemed like it. I barely dodged quick enough to escape her clutches. My eyes went wide, feeling her hysterical emotions. Was she on her period or something?!

“KARI!” She scolded, “Don’t you EVER do that again.”

I blinked in confusion, “I took a walk. People do that you know.”

Alice glared, “But people don’t walk when they are recovering from a near death experience!”

I bit my tongue back from a scathing comment.

Nyx jumped in, extremely relieved. Emmett and Rosalie entered the room with impassive faces. Rosalie did not care but Emmett felt relieved. They are all being ridiculous. I’m an amalgam. I can survive this kind of stuff easily.

“I told you to rest Kari!” Nyx exclaimed, “Next time at least leave a note or something!”

I stayed quiet. Nyx looked down at my foot.

“HA! I knew you took my dunks!” said Nyx victoriously, “Wait… That means your converse is broken.”

I gave a small smirk in Nyx’s direction. She exclaimed happily, getting something of my persona.

“Hey! You guys found her?!”

Jacob stood at the doorway of the living room, face flushed and slightly sweating. His hair was all messed up; probably from running all around or so I hoped that was the case. His white t-shirt smudged slightly in brown with ripped jeans.

“Kari!” called Jacob. He came over, giving me a hug, “Dude. Where were you?”

“Forest.” Jasper answered for me.

“Then why didn’t I find you?” asked Jacob, puzzled.

Carlisle walked in with his long doctor coat.

“I thought I told you to rest.” He said.

‘I thought I told you to rest!’ I mimicked in my head.

Carlisle came over, my body stiffened. Jasper frowned at my actions but spoke nothing of it. A cool metal was pressed over where my heart should’ve been. I winced at the contact, my face slightly contorting. Jacob became slightly irate… At more than one thing.

Bella and Edward had come into the room, at a very close proximity. Their hair slightly disarray, well Edward’s was… You can’t really tell the difference between Edward’s normally messy locks. Jacob’s face deepened in a glower.

Esme nearly floated into the room as Carlisle stuck another anti- biotic needle into my shoulder. I let out a swear, earning a glare from Rosalie. I gripped the sofa slightly. There was no way that was only filled with anti- biotic. With my luck, he probably stuck some bizarre vampiric antidote or something.

My mother gave him a loving smile in which he eagerly returned. The urge to gag was prominent. Bella’s heart shaped face was filled with worry, something that should be on my own mother’s face.

“Your heart seems stable.”

I inwardly scoffed.

“But you should probably rest tomorrow as well. Stay over here and I’ll write a note over to the principal explaining your absence.” diagnosed Carlisle.

What the hell?! He’s a human doctor! Meaning he knows absolutely nothing about me.

“No.” I defied.

“Honey,” Esme cooed, “You should rest. You are not in the best condition to-”

“The day I give a fucking shit about what you tell me, will be the day I no longer exist!” I snapped, standing up abruptly facing against Esme.

She, my supposed own mother was going to tell me what to do?! Like she suddenly cared?! It does not matter if she remembers me or not, but to leave me and then pretend she gave a single thought about me?!

Carlisle immediately glared at me as well as the majority of the Cullen family. Only Esme, Alice and Jasper were shocked. Nyx gave a grim stare at me.

In fury, I overturned the coffee table in front of me, breaking it in half with my fists. The venom in my veins powered my anger, my frustration and my pain against all of them. I stormed out of the house, going back onto the trail leading home.

Bella called after me, running to where I was. Her increasingly faster pumping blood wafted into my senses. My mind zoomed only to it, or at least the venom that empowered my tired spirit did. It pushed my consciousness into a back seat, taking complete control of my body.

I vaguely felt my lips snarl, much like how Victoria let her demon take command of her. My normally hazel golden eyes turned into a deep crimson. My fangs desperately wanted to tear out Bella’s throat, savoring every little drop of her taunting sweet addictive blood. My mouth watered at the thought.

Bella finally stumbled upon where I was. Slightly relieved and vastly concerned about me. My lips curled into a vindictive smirk. Bella came closer to me, calling my name in that soft soprano tone of hers.

‘That’s right… Come closer to me.’

As soon as she was less than 5 feet away from me, I lunged towards her. My finger tips drew into Bella’s soft human flesh, keeping her still in my hold. My figure towered over her small frame. Panic and fright flooded through her. Those very emotions powered my actions.

Flashes came by me. Edward pulled Bella out of my clutches. I viciously turned around, snarling and hissing at the two. Bella was white in shock, fingers clammy and still. Edward protectively wrapped his arms around her, ready to move at a moment’s notice.

Bella stared into my eyes. She was the prize for me to claim. My dinner. I stepped closer towards them. Edward looked at me defiantly. I merely gave him a malevolent grin, licking my lips.

I want to stop. I don’t want to hurt Bella. My body gave no indication of wanting to stop though. None whatsoever. My own monster gnawed away, leeching my strength from me to use for its own personal gain.

My body threw itself to Bella once more. Bella whimpered out a faint “no” but none of us gave heed to what she was saying. Edward let go of her, standing like a mountain lion ready to counter attack in front of her.

Strong arms pulled me back from behind. One hot, one cool. My head whipped back, my entire body contorting, restricting all movements. My head hung low as Nyx and Jacob retained their firm grip on my arms.

Only the five of us were in the clearing. I began to regain strength over myself, but there was still not enough control. I was fighting against Jacob and Nyx at the same time but the two of them just stood there, taking the abuse. I lashed out, gripping my own fists too hard for comfort.

Something in me snapped. I let out a scream. Tears seemed to form in the corners of my eyes. I don’t want this. I don’t want this at all. I felt control over myself once again. I let out a shaky breath, falling harshly to the ground. Jacob had barely caught me.

He seemed to care, but his own emotions were conflicted. And the ones for Bella told me nothing more than he wanted to kill my arse right here and now. Edward wanted my own painful death. Bella and Nyx both felt nothing but concern for me. Something that was more than what I deserved for my actions just now.

Jacob’s warm body slightly cradled mine. I gripped the cold earth, dirt accumulating under my nails. How could I have let myself lose control? I hate myself for this. I don’t want to fight.

‘Suck it up.’

A burning sensation went through my blood. She was fighting for power again. Why was this happening? I’ve never lost control like this. I suppressed her. With as much strength as I could muster, I suppressed her. I am determined to make her permanently dormant or to have her relinquish.

“Kari…” Bella whispered.

I looked up at her, swallowing the accretion of saliva that grew in my mouth. I stood up, slightly staggering, and stepped away from Nyx and Jacob, closer to Bella.

“I’m sorry.” I told her softly.

Edward stared angrily at me.

“Stay away.” Edward commanded me, “Don’t you ever come near me, Bella or my family ever again.”

‘Your family?’

In that moment of weakness, I let her take over. I was too tired, too frail to control my ache.

“Your family?” I scoffed, a malicious look spread over my features, “Your family? That’s quite hypocritical. Shows how much Edward Cullen knows about his family.”

Edward bit back a growl, gritting out his words, “What do you mean?”

I let out a cruel laugh, my own monster letting me take over, egging on my feelings of hatred and hurt, “Isn’t it obvious? I’m part of your family. I have the biggest blood tie to your mother.”

Bella gasped loudly, covering her mouth with both hands. Edward’s eyes bulged out in disbelief. Both Edward and Jacob gave me a look over, trying to locate all the possible differences between Esme and me. Neither of them wanted to believe it.

“No.” whispered Jacob incredulity.

I bit my lip, my anger faulting at the lack of animosity in the air, “Yeah…”

I glanced at Nyx, who gave me nothing to advise me on my next words.

“Liar!” Edward shouted, “That is impossible!”

This angered me slightly, “And how is that impossible?! What do you know about her from her human life?!”

“Her human life?” Bella repeated.

She anxiously looked at Edward, placing her delicate little fingers onto Edward’s arms.

“Esme is my own blood mother.” I said shaking, I clutched my hands, “I am Katrina Knowles. The daughter of Richard Elliot Knowles and Esme Platt- Evenson- Knowles.”

Edward glared harshly, “Esme Evenson. She did not marry after Charles Evenson.”

“You would think that wouldn’t you?” I asked spitefully, “She did remarry. But she was kidnapped and judging by the way she was treating me, she has no recollection of her life after that arsehole.”

“You have absolutely no proof.” Edward defied.

I spat at the ground.

“Do I really?” I asked, “Because I am her single and only blood daughter.”

Edward glared.

“Esme saved me from a coven of vampires that massacred the entire fucking village. The reason why I’m what I am is because of her. Despite not recognizing who I was, she wanted me to live. She saved me from being like you Cullens. A fucking vampire.” I spat out.

“I am going to say this once again,” said Edward with a strong authority, “Stay away from my family and Bella. Both of you.”

“Are you serious?!” Nyx exclaimed, “We’re the reason why Victoria did not kill Bella.”

Edward disregarded her, “You aren’t family.”

I scoffed unbelievably, “You don’t believe me do you?”

Edward glowered.

“Esme has a birthmark.” I spoke loudly, “On the top of her left thigh. It’s a black mark of a crescent moon. On the center of it is a small five point star.”

Edward was thrown off.

I unbuckled my jeans, shoving the material of my pants on the left down. I pulled my boxer like underwear up, showing clearly the exact same mark I had described about Esme, imprinted on my body.

Edward shamelessly stared at the birthmark. Flabbergasted at what had just occurred. My own mother not recognizing me is one thing, but to not even acknowledge my existence? That’s an entirely different issue.

I coldly grimaced, “If you still don’t believe, ask Carlisle for some effing newspapers dating back to 1915. The first World War and the first war of the damned.”

Edward was conflicted with himself.

“I was four when Esme disappeared. Her blood was found in Arizona. Her blood.” I repeated, “We lived in Europe. How do you think I felt?”

“During those wars, my own father Richard Knowles was murdered in the fucking safety of our own home.” I spoke.

This was word vomit. I’ve never understood it before but this was what I am going through. I’m so caught up with myself, my own spite that I can only focus on that right now.

“He was murdered by fucking vampires. I was six. Six goddamnit!” I shouted, “I had to watch him die! For him to protect me and make sure I was alright. He was ripped into bloody miniscule pieces in front of me!”

“Then on my tenth birthday, the entire town in Alaska gets chased and devoured by vampires like some sick game. I had to run for my life. I had to fight for the right to live, to live as a normal human girl. I was given another chance in Alaska then it all gets fucked up!” I screamed, “So forgive me if I don’t seem like family. Cause frankly, I haven’t had the time to properly experience it after my father because it always gets ripped apart from me!”

My energy was being sucked out of me. The monster was comfortably ecstatic inside me. She enjoyed this show I was the star in.

“Nyx is the only one who took care of me after Alaska. When my own fucking mother ditched me.” I cried out, “Don’t tell me I don’t have proof. Because I am walking living breathing proof!”

I calmed my heart, taking deep breaths. I dropped to my knees. Nyx soothingly placed her hand on my back. This is my moment of selfishness. My outlet after so long. I hate Forks. I have been pushed in ways I never wanted to be pushed here.

Bella was crying persistently, scared. I recognized the presence of the rest of the Cullen clan there. I don’t know when they started listening but they were all confused. Especially my mother.

I sniffled slightly, letting my eyes droop. I leaned back against Nyx. I felt Jacob shift into his wolf form, leaving the scene in a hurry. I bit my lip back. I really don’t want to deal with this place anymore.