I'll Take You Out Though I'm Hardly Worth Your Time

The class began and it was boring as usual so I started to scribble stuff and write random words and phrases. I usually do this and then I try to make it into poems or lyrics for a song.

Before, when I was ten, I thought that I can be a good writer and I can give my written work to record companies then they’ll consider my lyrics for a song. I thought I’d get a lot of money out of it so I started to write lyrics and poems just in case I wanted to give it to a company. Until now, I still do it. It was a habit I got used to already. Sometimes, I would also write when I had a problem which is why I am writing now. I don’t really expect any of it to be songs but I just do it for fun and whenever I am bored like this. The class started to stand up and I noticed that the class was done already. Wow, that really helps. I started to fix my stuff and waited for Jess.

I suddenly felt cold when I heard someone’s voice behind me

“Sandra, I think we need to talk” he told me

I pretended not to hear and continued to wait for Jess. Jess gave me a look which I ignored as well.

“I know you can hear me Sandra. Just talk to me please?”

“I don’t think we have anything to talk about Alex” I said, still not facing him

He sighed

“I wasn’t supposed to do this, but you forced me to. I am sorry” after that, I felt him grab my arm tight and dragged me outside the classroom.

“Alex, get your hands off me!” I screamed

He ignored me and continued walking. I tried to pull away but his grip was just too tight. He was literally towing me along the school. We got outside and he shoved me inside his car. I sat there, stunned by what happened. I decided not to try to run anymore because he was gonna catch me no matter how fast I run. He went in the car and started the engine. He didn’t even look at me, he just started driving. I glare at him and didn’t talk as well.

He stopped in a deserted place and inhaled loudly. He faced me and looked at me for a moment.

“I demand an explanation for your behavior Sandra” he shot at me

I didn’t answer and just stared in front

“Oh, now you’re gonna give me the cold treatment? You have to think of something else because I am used to that already.” He said, acid flowing out of every word.

“I don’t have to explain anything” I answered, trying to stop tears from flowing out of my eyes. I felt so bad that I was hurting him for no reason

“Oh, yes, you do. You have a lot of shit to explain. Why did you just treat me like that a while ago?” he asked

“Why do I have to explain to you that? You don’t have the right to ask me that because I can treat you any way that I want” I said, raising my voice now

“No, you can’t Sandra. I am your frien---“

“Who said you were my fucking friend?!” I interrupted. I knew that was a low blow but I had no choice anymore. He was starting to break my walls little by little.

He looked at me with obvious hurt showing on his face. He looked like he was going to cry after hearing what I said. I wanted to take it all back the second I saw his face but I was much of a coward to do that.

“Right. Of course. I am nothing but your Calculus seatmate huh?” he asked, with a shaky voice now

“Yes Alex. Sorry but we just can’t be friends. We don’t click” I finished

He nodded stiffly and looked away from me.

“Too bad I am not good enough to even deserve to be your friend. All along I thought we were friends already” he mumbled

I didn’t answer anymore, afraid that I might hurt him even more. He looked like he was so close to a breakdown.

He started the car and turned around to go back to school. He parked the car and unlocked the doors.

I just sat there, waiting for anything he might tell me. We sat for a few minutes and it looked like he had nothing to say, so I open the door to go out.

“It was nice getting to know you even for just a few weeks and despite the fact that you never saw me more than just a seatmate. I thought you were better than this but I am always wrong am I “he muttered as I step out

I didn’t look back anymore. If I saw his face, I might cry in front of him. I walk as fast as I can from the parking area. I was crying now. I’ve never felt this bad before. I just hurt Alex for no reason. Oh, yeah, there was a reason, but it was out of me being a coward and my selfishness. I didn’t want to take a risk or give him a chance so I just chose to hurt him.