I'll Take You Out Though I'm Hardly Worth Your Time

Alex’s P.O.V

I knew this day would turn out to be so bad. I was being mean to Sasha because I couldn’t stand how she treated me. I mean, first, she suddenly ignores me and tells me that we weren’t friends even though we were technically friends already. Doesn’t she even know what being friends means? I got so upset that she doesn’t even want to be friends with me. What more be her boyfriend? I sulked for a whole week because of that but then I decided to just let her be and go on with my life. Maybe I just did something wrong that got her pissed at me. I still had hope then. I hoped that maybe, if I stayed away for a while, she’ll forget and then I can get another chance.

But all the hope I still had disappeared when I found out that she switched partners as soon as she read the board saying we were a pair. Does she hate me that much that she was all but ready to break the rules just to stay away from me? What did I do wrong? All I did was try to please her and make her happy.

I am really confused now. Deep inside, I just want to smile at her and tell her that everything’s fine, and that I am not mad at her but she pushed me to treat her like this. She told me to stay away from her and not to talk to her anymore. Besides, she doesn’t care about me anyway. I even tried to talk to her on why she had done the switch but all she did was scream at me and tell me that I don’t have the right to ask .She made it clear that she didn’t want anything to do with me and that she just wanted me to stay away from her. That’s exactly what I am doing now, even though I totally don’t wanna do it.

Ever since I decided to treat her coldly, and try to take no notice of her, I see something in her face that says she was getting hurt by what I am doing. Once, I saw her flinch when I looked at her and then she looked like she was about to cry. I am so confused now. First, she tells me to stay away and ignore her but now that I am doing that, she acts like I was hurting her.

Just a while ago, her face was so sad and afraid. Possibly she was sad that she had to stay with me for the whole day. Afraid? Maybe she was afraid of me. She’s terrified on what I might do to her. I’ve never felt this hated in my entire life. And this comes from a girl that I just knew starting this year. She really affected me a lot. She is different from other girls. She just puzzles me but at the same time, I become more attracted to her.

She was like a magnet I constantly get attracted to.

Now, I am trying to wash the dishes while she just stood there. Perhaps she was stunned on how good I disregarded her. I was trying my hardest here. It was so hard acting like I didn’t care even if truly, I cared more than anything. I just hope I can cover my feelings until this year ends.

I just had to. I was forced to.