Romance

Gerard Way's Point of View

"Can I just ask you something?" asked Jake after we stopped shaking hands.

"Sure," I said.

"Why did you ask me to meet you here?"

I immediately felt insulted.

"I uh-" I said, "I thought that it would be interesting. You know, romantic. I got the idea from the movie Sleepless in Seattle. Did you ever see that movie?"

"Uh…No…Wait. If the movie takes place in Seattle, why would you want to meet me on the Empire State Building? We are in New York," said Jake.

I sighed.

"Never mind," I said.

Jake obviously didn't appreciate my attempt to be romantic. Plus, he had a very strong gay voice, something that kind of annoyed me already. He sounded catty.

Wait, don't think this way, Gerard. Remember what Doctor Neil said. Love takes effort.

"So uh- Do you want to look out the microscopes?" I asked.

"Sure," said Jake.

We went found a free microscope and I put a few quarters in.

"After you," I said.

"Thanks," said Jake, sounding genuinely thankful.

"You're welcome."

"It's really hard to see. All I can see really is bright lights."

"Oh really?"

I looked through the lens, and Jake was kind of right.

"Yeah," I said, moving away. "I guess it was a dumb idea to look through one of these things at night."

"Yeah," said Jake laughing.

I laughed a bit myself. I liked this guy's laugh. Hopefully we could work something out.

"Oh well. We can just look at it without the microscope. Isn't it beautiful?" I asked.

"Yeah," said Jake.

It was kind of an empty answer. We didn't talk at all as we stood there. It was really awkward.

"Uh," I said finally. "Do you want to get something to eat?"

"Sure," said Jake.

"Cool. Where would you like to go?"

"Um…Do you like sushi?"

"I absolutely love it!"

"Do you want to go to that one sushi place? I forgot what it's called but it's got that red awning thing with the black writing…"

"I know where that is. Sure, that sounds great."

I smiled at him and we started back towards inside the building. Part of me was debating on whether or not I should put my hand on his back. I didn't do that, though. With my luck, he would give me one of those weird looks again.

I was glad that he liked sushi, though. Maybe E-Harmony really did work. Maybe Jake and I really were compatible.

When we got down and exited the building, I signaled for a taxi.

"You don't have a car?" asked Jake.

I looked at him.

"Yeah, I do," I said.

"Well then why didn't you bring it?" he asked.

I was speechless.

"I uh…I just didn't," I said. "Why? How did you get here?"

"My friend dropped me off," said Jake.

A taxi pulled up and I felt annoyed and embarrassed as we got in.

--

"Gerard, we have been standing here waiting for ten minutes," said Jake somewhat impatiently as we stood in the sushi restaurant. "Why did you decide to come here?"

"I didn't, you were the one that suggested that we come here," I said, trying not to sound rude.

Jake just sighed.

During the time we had been standing there, I asked Jake a lot about himself, and he answered me as if I were bothering him or something. I wanted to get to know him better. Apparently, he didn't give a shit about me, though. The only time he asked me a question was to basically complain about something that I did-- Like the question he had asked me about why I asked him to meet me on the top of the Empire State Building.

We finally got a seat about five minutes later. We sat down and ordered what we wanted.

"Gerard, can I ask you a question?" asked Jake.

"Sure," I said.

"Do you always wear black?"

"Um…Most of the time, yeah."

"Oh."

The way that Jake had said that, along with the look that appeared on his face told me that he wasn't too fond of that idea.

"How did you know that I mostly wear black?" I asked.

"Just because your shirt that you're wearing right now is black. I mean…Who wears a black dress shirt and pants unless they wear black all the time?"

"Oh. Well…Yeah, I do wear black a lot."

"Yeah. I noticed."

"Is that okay?"

"Yeah."

I nodded.

"Okay," I said.

I felt extremely uncomfortable after that. It sucked, too, because the more I looked at Jake, the cuter he looked. I wasn't going to let this slip away. Maybe if he got to know me better, he would look past all of the "bad" things and realize that I was a good guy.

The dinner went on and I tried to make as much conversation with Jake as possible. It was really hard, though. He didn't seem all that interested. Whenever I said something, he either gave me a weirded-out look, or nodded and ate his food.

I started talking to him about art, and he seemed interested, but still acted like he was too good to be there.

I sighed softly.

I expected Jake to want to leave right away after we ate, but he said, "Hey, do you want to go to a club? There's a gay club just down the road, and it's a lot of fun. They play really good music, too."

"Um, sure. That sounds like fun," I said.

"Oh it will be."

As we exited the restaurant, I still debated on whether or not I should put my hand on Jake's back or attempt to take his hand.

"Um," said Jake as we stood outside the restaurant, "we don't need to go get a cab. It's just down the block."

"Okay," I said.

To my complete and utter surprise, Jake grabbed my hand and started pulling me down the sidewalk with him. I guess he liked me after all. Maybe he just had a really weird way of showing it, or maybe it took him awhile to get his guard down.

There was a small line by the door of the club to get in. Jake let go of my hand as soon as we got in, however.

The club looked really good. It was a big room with a red light panel on the top quarter of the walls, and it was dark otherwise. It looked really rad.

We walked in and Dangerous was on. Jake pulled me into the large group of people who were dancing and started to rub up against me, and me, not knowing how to dance, awkwardly put my hands around to his back and attempted to go along with what he was doing.

This wasn't really my idea of a date. If I physically wanted to get close to Jake, then sure, this would be perfect. However, I wanted to get to know him as a person.

Oh well. I decided to suck it up and try to have a good time. I danced with him for a few songs, and then, Jake stopped.

"Damn. I'm thirsty. I'm gonna get a beer. Do you want one?" shouted Jake.

(The music was really loud so he had to shout.)

"No, I don't drink," I said.

"WHAT? You don't drink?! Are you serious?!" Jake exclaimed.

"Yes! I'm serious! I used to be an alcoholic but I decided to give it up!"

"So you don't drink alcohol at all?"

"No!"

"Okay! I'll be back."

"Okay."

Jake started pushing past a bunch of people.

Oh boy. He doesn't accept the fact that I don't drink. He's so cute, though. I really want to make this work. Maybe when I talk to him I can explain myself and then maybe he'll understand.

I stood there awkwardly as people danced around me. I was the only one just standing there.

"Hey," said someone.

I turned around to see a very cute brown-haired, brown-eyed guy.

"I'm Justin," he said, grabbing me from behind and doing some sort of dirty dance with me. The guy was really hot, and I tried to explain to him that I was here with a date, but he was behind me so he couldn't hear what I was saying.

I looked around to make sure that Jake wasn't watching, but he wasn't.

Justin soon stopped with me, said "Thanks for the dance, gorgeous," and walked away to some other guy.

I smiled at him and continued to stand there and look around for Jake. I stood there for a long time, and he never showed up.

I started over towards the bar to look for my date. I looked and looked, and didn't see him.

Suddenly, I heard a laugh from behind where I was looking. It sounded like Jake's voice. I turned around and saw this really fat guy with orange hair holding Jake in his arms, and Jake looked like he was enjoying it. He was stroking this ugly guy's face and talking to him.

I walked over there.

"Jake!" I exclaimed.

"Oh Gerard, there you are," said Jake. "Where were you?"

"I was on the fuckin' dance floor, where you left me!"

"Oh."

"Why don't you get lost, you gothic freak?" the guy that was holding Jake asked, looking at me in the same way that Jake had when I had first met him.

"Shut the fuck up and go shove KFC up your ass, you fat tub of lard!...Jake, we have to talk," I said furiously.

Jake looked at the ugly guy.

"I'll be right back," he said. "Gerard is kind of my date."

Kind of?!

I looked at Jake as I pulled him to the side.

"What the fuck is going on here? Who is that tank of a man that was with you?!" I asked.

"I don't know, I just met him," said Jake.

"Well is he bothering you?"

"Not really."

"He isn't?!"

"Um, no."

Jake was starting to get a tone with me.

"Well, what the fuck is going on?! Can you please tell me?" I asked.

"Look, Gerard," said Jake in a typical catty gay man voice, "I'm really sorry, but I don't think that this is going to work out with me and you. I mean like, we are so totally different; We don't seem to have a lot in common except sushi!"

"How would you know? You haven't even attempted to get to know me-!"

"I don't know if I want to, Gerard. I'm sorry, but I don't think that Doctor Neil Clark Warren's Forty-Nine Dimensions of Compatibility work on gay men. That's why it was a heterosexual site to begin with. So…I'm sorry Gerard."

At this point, I was speechless.

"I'm going to leave it here, Gerard. 'Bye," said Jake.

With that, he walked away, leaving me stand there all alone.

My mouth dropped open. I couldn't believe this! What the fuck had just happened?

I had gotten ditched for a fat whale, and I was now dateless, that's what.

So much for putting "effort" into a relationship.

I was really upset. This was about the millionth time that I had gotten rejected by a guy. And I thought that by going on this website, I would have found my perfect match. That was what was supposed to happen with E-Harmony.

I held my head down and left the club. I summoned a taxi and got in. I told the taxi driver to my address and paid him. I started to cry on the way home.

"Whoa man, you okay?" the guy asked.

"What the fuck is wrong with me? Could you answer me that? Am I a gothic freak?" I asked.

"Well, I don't think there's anything wrong with you? What? Did you fail at an acting audition or something?"

"No. A date."

"Oh. Ouch. I'm sorry. Did she walk out on you?"

"Um…He. I'm gay. And yeah, he left me for some fat guy. This guy that I was on a date with was a real ass but he was really cute, and I wanted to make it work. I found him on E-Harmony."

"Oh Jesus, man. Don't go on that website. Didn't you see that thing on the news? There's so many complaints that that site went homosexual. I don't know why. Close-minded people, I guess."

"Yeah, I guess so. Now I know why us gay men have a bad reputation. It's because of guys like the one I just went out with."

I sighed.

"I wanted to find true love," I continued, feeling only slightly pathetic for ranting about my life to a taxi driver.

"Pssh, not these days you won't," said the taxi driver, "and especially not with e-harmony.com. Do you have any idea how much they probably pay those people on those commercials that praise the hell outta it?"

"Probably more than I make in a whole year."

"That's right."

"Maybe I should go on a commercial and lie about a relationship that I found on there. Maybe I could pay my rent then."

I talked with the taxi driver until I got home. I thanked him for listening to me and got out. I sighed as I reached into my pocket and pulled out my keys.

Within two minutes, I was once again in my apartment. I sighed and sat down on the couch.

Tonight was such a disaster. I reminisced in my mind about what a disaster tonight was, and that my attempt to find love was nothing but a waste of my time.

I now had to concentrate on paying my bills, although I didn't want to.

I took out my laptop. The first thing that I was going to do before I did that, however, was write a note to the people at eharmony.com. It was going to be about how they had screwed-up on one of my matches. I definitely did not fill out my profile in a way that I would leave the impression that I should be set up with a catty, needy man who whored himself around.

I was going to tell them about how I wanted to find true love, like their site had so boasted about being able to help people with, and I was going to tell them about how I was now in my apartment alone after being ditched at a nightclub after a horrible date that they had practically set me up on.

I was going to give them a piece of my mind.