Early Sunsets Over Newark

I had been right. The next morning, we pulled over for gas and Gerard woke us up for some gas station diner breakfast. I shrugged, gas station food didn't sound so great. If I remembered right, there were some potato chips in the cupboard, so I was happy to pass on breakfast. They all got ready, dressed to their nines when Zacky suddenly announced "I don't feel so great. I've got this big headache. maybe I should go back to bed."

Gerard looked at him funny, but reluctantly agreed. When they left, I stood up, opened the cupboard and discovered to my dismay only a jar of peanut butter. I groaned and then suddenly felt arms wrapped tight around my waist. My body tensed and then Zacky leaned against me, forcing me against the single countertop, kissing my neck.

"Z... Zacky?"

He didn't respond with words, instead with a soft "hmm?" While he licked at my skin and I shivered. "What are you-" He nibbled and I jumped slightly. I heard him let out a chuckle, then a soft "sorry." I swallowed hard, and unwrapped his arms from me and turned around. "This isn't a good idea..."

He pushed up against me tighter, breathing up against my ear. "Don't lie to yourself."

We had a couple hours alone. Dressed up like he was, Zacky was an image of every boy I'd ever had a crush on, but naked he was a god. I loved his kisses, loved his touch. After everything, it felt good to let go. To just embrace what was wanted, but not allowed. I let myself slip away, let myself moan and shutter and make sounds I'd never thought were humanly possible to make. And then there was just silence, his skin against mine, and an us that was intertwined and tangled up in his bed. He pet my hair, ran his fingers through it, stroked his fingertips against my arm and made goosebumps form as I shivered. After what felt like a lifetime, after what felt like a dream; Zacky kissed me deep and then smiled.

"We should get dressed. You know." I nodded, and we climbed out from under the covers. I changed clothes, to lace leggings and a black and hot pink tutu. Finding a shirt that was wearable was difficult, so I borrowed one from Johnny, black with skulls and stripes. I hated the sleeves, so I covered it with a half-jacket. When I left the bunk room, all the boys were there.

Mikey was the first to speak. "Hey! You changed!" He smiled at my choice of apparel and then Johnny scowled. "That's my shirt!" I scoffed, shrugged.

"So? You can borrow one of mine if you want." He got up, and went to walk past me, but stopped himself. "I guess it's fine. But I'd prefer it if you'd ask." I nodded soft, and he walked to the bunk room. Zacky came out, dressed like he was before, with his cigarettes. Gerard scowled at him, and I sighed.

"Terra, wanna go have a smoke?" Zacky asked, and I nodded, trying not to give hint of what had happened between us. Gerard tried to stand, until Frank stopped him, and stood up himself instead. "Can i come?'

I looked at Zacky, and then back at frank, shrugging. "Sure, if you have your own stogies."