Strictly Under the Influence

Having just dropped off things to Kara, Brendon's hungry now. He doesn't feel like going home to make something. So he decides to go to Port of Subs. He doesn't know if Ryan's working there, today, or one of his other two jobs. But quiet honestly, he shouldn't care. And he doesn't know why he cares, either.

Brendon thinks his mind might be a little messed up. Maybe. But again, he doesn't know. So he shrugs off his insecurities and walks into the little sub shop.

But sitting behind the counter is none other the Ryan Ross. Brendon's head starts spinning, again.

Ryan looks up, when the little bell above the door dings, and smirks at Brendon. He sort of half smiles at the older boy and orders his lunch.

“Nice to see you, again, Brendon,” he says as he making Brendon's sub. Brendon concludes that Ryan might be pushing his buttons and just nods in response. Ryan asks him, “Are you going to say anything?” Shrugging, Brendon lets him know that he's had quite a day and isn't really in the mood for small talk. Even though it isn't true, Brendon still says it. “Okay,” is Ryan's skeptic reply.

Brendon pushes his glasses a little further up on his nose and goes to pay for his food.

_

Maybe that's just the way Brendon is, Ryan reasons mentally, as he watches Brendon take his food to the farthest corner from the counter. He sits back on his stool and pulls his new book back out. He'd just gotten it yesterday and he's almost finished already. But today's been a slow day. Brendon's the fourth costumer Ryan's seen since he came in at eleven this morning. But for some reason, it's never really that busy when Ryan works, only when he actually comes here to eat.

He only half-realizes that it's weird that no one eats there when he works. And only faintly, does he think it's a bad thing.

_

“What is your problem, Ryan?!”

Ryan thinks Jac Vanek is breathtakingly pretty. She likes Ryan, too, which he just adds to things he likes about her. Her hair. The way she makes him feel when they're together. Just everything.

So, yes, you could say Ryan and Jac are a thing.

“Huh?” She says, “You going to answer me?”

Her violent tone snaps Ryan from his reverie and he looks to her, blinking his wide eyes innocently. “Oh my God, Ryan, you haven't said a word since I came over,” she complains.

Ryan thinks flushed and angry in a good look for her. Her cheeks are rosy and she's pacing back and forth in front of him in a pair of shorts. And her leg muscles are working.

“Sorry,” he says, trying to regain composure, “I've been distracted.” He stands up and grabs her hands from their former resting place on her slender hips and brings one to his face, kissing it softly. Then he pulls her closer and presses his lips to hers in the softest of ways. Yet, extremely seductive, also. “Don't get mad,” he whispers, “I've just had a lot going on lately.” Jac leans in to kiss him and instinct has him wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her closer.

_

Jac's hand is soft. Really soft. He intertwines their fingers as they're strolling through the park one afternoon. “This is nice,” he sighs. She nods and kisses his cheek.

Ryan starts to glance around a bit and, maybe his mind is playing tricks on him, but he thinks he sees Brendon sitting on a bench. Jac in tow, Ryan moseys on over to the bench were Brendon actually is sitting and says, “Hey Brendon, fancy meeting you here.”

Brendon looks up at Ryan and blinks at Jac. “Hey, Ryan. Who's this?”

Ryan's more than happy to introduce him to Jac, in fact he does, obviously. He says, “Brendon. Jac. Jac. Brendon.”

Jac extends a graceful hand and puts on a stunning smile. “Nice to meet you.”

Ryan thinks the whole thing is great. His girlfriend meeting his new friend. He doesn't smile, though; he just can't bring himself to. He doesn't know if it has something to do with his childhood or even his adulthood, but he just can't smile. But he's smiling inwardly.

Brendon shakes her hand and says, “Yeah, nice to meet you.” Ryan thinks Brendon tries to smile, but it doesn't quiet come out right. Then he wonders if Brendon's hiding something he should know about.

Ryan doesn't voice his curiousness, though.

_

Ryan. Jac. Together?

Brendon is trying to piece together why he's with her. She doesn't even seem like his type. Well, at least, not the type for the part of Ryan he knows. But he smacks on a faux smile and goes along with what Ryan has to say.

But soon Brendon's lying and saying he has to go sit with his mom in the hospital. That his time with her is limited and he really has to go. Fact is, his mom isn't even in a Nursing home.

She's at her own house, probably baking cookies.

Jac says she'll keep Brendon's mom in mind as he gets up to leave and he just nods and mumbles a thanks.

As Brendon walks to his car, he wonders why Ryan never mentioned he had a girlfriend.

Well, Brendon has something to throw in Ryan's face. Brendon has a secret, too.

A big secret.

_

It occurs to Ryan that, as he's walking Jac up to her front porch, Brendon's been acting weird the past few days. He kisses her cheek quickly and mumbles, “Love you,” with his brow scrunched together trying to fathom the younger boy's behavior. But he just can't.

He's so caught up in his thoughts, that Ryan doesn't even notice that Jac slams her front door when she goes in. He wishes he knew where Brendon lived so he could drive up there and ask, but he doesn't. He doesn't know Brendon's number, so he can't call from a pay phone. He doesn't even know if Brendon will be home if Ryan knew where he lived.

Ryan decides he's going to go by Brendon's bar and see if he's there. Maybe he will be. It's Friday night. It's bound to be busy, right? It has to be. On what Friday night is a bar not busy?

So, that's where Ryan goes. To Brendon's bar. And when he gets there, Brendon's standing in an alleyway right next to it with a cigarette pressed to his lips. Ryan's a bit shocked that Brendon smokes. He didn't know. He thinks it's a bit odd. He smokes sometimes. Only sometimes. He smoked yesterday, he thinks. Maybe.

But Brendon? Yeah, he runs a bar. But Ryan's never seen him drink or smoke, until now. “You smoke?” Ryan asks as he walks up, suddenly feeling the chill that's rolling through Vegas. He says, “I didn't know.”

Throwing the cigarette down and stomping it out, Brendon replies, “Sometimes. Only when I'm stressed.”

“You're stressed?”

Brendon nods and starts walking further down the dark alley. “Just a little.”

Ryan sighs, because he knows he starting to sound like a parrot. “You want to go to the coffee shop up the road and talk?”

_

Brendon sips his latte and nods to Ryan's question. “Yeah,” he says, “I grew up mostly in Utah, but then my family moved here when I was sixteen.”

He thinks it nice, just talking to Ryan. No obstacles, no koalas, no Jac. No offense to her, but Brendon just doesn't like her. Ryan's questioning him endlessly, but it's not like he minds. He knows everything there is to know about Brendon Boyd Urie, because, of course, it's him. Ryan asks him about his childhood. His adolescence, and Brendon thinks he might be spilling a little too much, but he doesn't give that much thought. And soon, Ryan knows every detail of his life and every thought that's run through his mind.

Well not every thought.

But he turns to Ryan and says, “Tell me about you. What were you like growing up?”

Ryan seems to give thought to Brendon's question as he scratches his chin and sucks in his lower lip, peeking his tongue out a little.

Brendon thinks that it's kind of cute.

Ryan finally says, “My dad was a drunk. He beat me. I don't like to talk about that.” Brendon nods, accepting Ryan's enigmatic answer. The older boy says, “I moved out a few years ago and have been living in that crappy apartment ever since.”

Brendon learned about Ryan's struggle with finances and other things and just the things that are really important to him. “Jac and I have been together almost five months now,” he says, “You never told me about your girlfriends, Brendon.”

Brendon cracks a grin. Goodbye secret, he thinks to himself. He says, “That's because I've only had one.”

“Really?”

“Really,” Brendon's a bit mystified why Ryan hasn't asked why he's only had one.

“Are you still with her?”

“Nope.”

“Are you looking, because Jac knows this really coo-”

“Ryan, I'm not looking for a girlfriend. Emphasis on girl,” Brendon sighs.

Ryan just stares at him silently. He doesn't say anything. Brendon doesn't say anything.

Brendon just laces his hands together and sets them in front of himself. “And for the record, Ryan; yes, I'm gay.”