The Pain I've Grown to Know

Allie's P.O.V.

i'm suprised your not talking i said

"for what? your staying and i'm going" he told me

"how do you know i'm staying and not leaving?" i asked him

"i'm just thinking like you" he told hme coldly.

i walked upstair. i didn't want to look but i had to say this one thing.

if you knew the way i was thinking then you'd know i was going back to forks i said

i went to my room and locked everything out of the room. right now i didn't want to see or hear him. i mean i was thinking of going back to forks for him, amber, and my mother. now the only reason i'd go back is for amber and my mother.

i still can't believe how emily fell for his little charm. i still can't believe i fell for it time and time again. i knew this time was the last time though. this is my home and it's staying that way. i know i gave up drinking but right now a bottle would be real nice.

i decided to look around my room for a bottle. i needed a drink right now. i mean i used to have bottles hiden everywhere. it shouldn't be that hard to find one.

i looked everywhere for a bottle and couldn't find one.

"this is bullshit" i said to myself.

i knew now i had to sneek out somewhere. where though? i mean there's parties tonight but no one knows amber's here. dam it i need to go out right now.

i decided to us my window and get to my car as fast as i could. it's not like i'll be missed if she isn't back yet. i don't think she is though.

i climbed out my window and made my way around the house without being noticed. well i stopped everything that would make him think i left. i got to my car finally.

i started it up and left. ok he might of heard the car but maybe he thinks amber's back. i got my phone out and decided to call my friend named christina. i know she's having a party tonight.

"hello" she said

"hey what are you doing?" i asked her

"getting ready for a party are you up for it?" she asked

"driving right now to your place" i told her

"ok see you in a bit then" she said

"alright bye" i said and hung up my phone.

i few minutes later i was at christina's house. she came outside. se hasn't seen me since the funeral and she hates damien. i know he's not going to show up here.

"hey bitch" she said welcoming me with two bottle.

"hey" i told her and walked inside.

i saw alot of people i know already there. it was time to get drunk. well this is my thinking plan. well most of it is drinking but i think better drunk or tipsy. things work out perfectly for me then.

i looked at the clock it was two in the morning. i couldn't even see straight but i now know i'm staying in texas. i probly drank six bottle alone but it felt good. how was i going to get threw my window now? i asked myself.

i got in my car and drove home. yeah i love to drink and drive for some reason it just gives me a rush.

i got home without crashing my car and walked in threw the front door. i saw amber and edward at the bottom of the stairs.

"where did you go?" amber asked worried

"christina's" i said

"how much did you drink?" she asked me

"six maybe seven bottles and i made it home without a strach" i said laughing at the end

"your coming back with us" she told me

"fuck no i'm staying here where i belong" i said

"says who?" edward asked me

"well you did earlier" i said walking upstairs.

i went to my room. i was happy i unlocked the door. i laid in bed. i couldn't really sleep right now. i mean i was still so thristy. well for liqour. i think this might be the reason why my mother misses mme with her?

i kept thinking of my choice. i knew they're was nothing going to change my mind now. i closed my eyes and fell asleep