The Pain I've Grown to Know

Allie's P.O.V.

i just woke up and me and edward we're alright fighting. that probly normal for me to say now. well we aren't really fighting just talking but it always leads to fighting. i had my head in my pillow. i couldn't look at him right now.

"why do we always have to fight?" he asked me

"because you tell me something so i tell you something back then we fight" i told him

"can we stop for now?" he asked me

"depends" i said

"depends on what?" he asked

"well i'm staying here so i guess we don't have to fight while your here" i told him

"you can't stay here" he told me

"why not?" i asked him.

i moved my head off my pillow and looked at him now.

"because we need to talk about things" he told me

"ok well i'm still staying here" i said

"your so stubborn" he told me

"you are too" i said

"yeah but i have a reason to be" he said

"so do i" i said

"what's your reason?" he asked me

"i just woke up" i told him

he walked out of the room.

when do you leave? i asked amber

tonight. are you coming? said asked me

no i told her

why not? she asked me

i need to figure things out here i told her

like what? she asked me

many things are still unknown in my future i told her

i stayed in my room until it was almost time for them to leave. i knew i was going to drive them to the airport then come back home. this is my home not forks. well edward did make it feel like a home but then he stayed away and now i feel more alone than i did before i came here.

"we're ready" amber said and my door

"ok" i said and put my shoes on.

we walked to the car in which edward had everything in it already. we got in the car and i drove them to the airport.

"you know it's not to late to change your mind" amber said looking at me

"i'm fine here" i told her

"i bet" edward mumbled.

we soon got to the airport and i got off the car. well i had to tell them bye. i mean i don't know how much longer i could stay away from everything that isn't normal.

"well i guess this is yet another bye" amber told me

"yeah but this is where i belong" i told her

"mom isn't going to be happy about your drinking" she told me

"maybe it'll change" i told her

"how? you love drinking and driving" she said

"yeah i know it just a rush for me" i told her.

edward was looking at us. he hasn't talken to me since waking me up. this was he last change to speak his mind before that plane ride back to forks.

"well i'll see you later" amber said

"yeah much later" i told her

"bye" she said holding back the tears

"bye bye" i said.

i said it twice so he can't say i didn't say bye.

bye he thought and walked away from me.

i got in my car and left back to my house. my very empty house.

i got home and went to take a shower. i knew i had school tomorrow. great more hell for me to be put threw.

i mean i just let my sister and edward leave. ok i hate to admit this but i do like edward but he can't feel the same for me. i know he wants to feel the same but i just keep messing it up every time he thinks he cares about me. i'm just one giant fuck up.