The Pain I've Grown to Know

Edward's P.O.V.

right now i wished i could of just lefted her there but i know she needed help. no when she wakes up she doesn't even want me. i just might as well make up my mind about allie and bella. i mean bella wouldn't talk to me like that plus she loves me. allie doesn't love anyone but herself. i should of known how selfish she is.

i soon arrived at bella's house. she looked kind of mad though. i mean i haven't been around all that much since allie got hurt maybe i should tell her about allie.

"edward where have you been?" she asked me when i was inside her room.

"well let me explain everything that's going on" i told her

"go ahead" she said sitting down on her bed.

"well you know how allie wanted revenge?" i asked her

"what does allie have to do with this?" she asked.

"well let me finish. she got her revenge well her father thought amber was dead because allie crashed amber's car with her scent inside the car. we all thought amber was dead until allie said she was hiding. she didn't say it out loud but she said it threw her mind. well their father almost killed allie. he said to leave her for dead but when he left we took her to a spot where no one could find her. her father thinks he killed her and amber came out of hiding think allie was dead" i said

"is she dead?" bella asked

"no we saved her and we did it without the venom" i told her

"is she awake?" bella asked me

"just woke up" i told her

"how long has she been like that?" bella asked me

"five days. she lost alot of blood" i explained to hurt.

"is she going to be ok?" she asked me

"yes" i said

we kept talking until she fell asleep. i still kept think was i choosing the right girl. i mean allie's different but bella is more for me. well i hope she os more for me.
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Allie's P.O.V.

i heard edward's thoughts. he thought i was selfish. are you serious? i mean i know he wants to be with his girlfriend. it just feels like i'm in the way for that. maybe i should just leave forks and never come back. he could have bella and i'll have nothing that's the way it's suppose to be. i'm not suppose to have anything for him.

well i do like him but it can't be nothing more than a crush. well i hope it's nothing more than a crush. i just don't want to get hurt again. well i might as well get hurt again it might not hurt as much as this pain does now. i feel so stupid for not knowing he wants to choose between me and bella.

"what's wrong?" amber asked me

"nothing i'm just thinking" i told her

"yeah i know your thinking you blocked me out of your thought" amber said

"well i just hope to get better soon so i could left" i told both amber and alice.

"he made his mind up" alice said

"yeah i know. he's choosing bella" i said

"where would you go?" amber asked me

"somewhere where no one knows me" i said

"sun or no sun?" alice asked me

"sun. i know no one can come after me then" i said

"he'll still try to fine you" alice said

"who?" me and amber both asked.

"edward. if you leave then he's going to think he choose the wrong person" she told us

"well since i've been here all i know is pain" i said

"yeah but your used to pain" amber said

"not this pain. i losted michael already i don't want false hope and then be shot down again" i said

"what if dad finds out your alive?" amber asked me

"he can kill me if he wants but i don't care about anything anymore. i'm giving up on having a heart" i said

"you can't do that" alice said

"well i can try though" i told her

know i'm always going to think what if he did choose me. would i be a better person? would i change? what if i just left would he be happier? does this pain i now know ever go away? i guess only time can tell me the right answers. i just hope someone i'm looking for gives me a chance at love again