If My Heart Had A Face, It Would Be Smiling

"Malia, hey Malia. Come on sweetie, wake up." I opened my eyes to see Selene crouched beside me as I lay on the couch. "Hey," she said trying to smile. I didn’t even bother pretending; I immediately broke out in tears and she pulled me into a hug. "Oh Malia," she sighed.

There wasn’t much she could actually say. Things were not going to be okay, what Blaise did was not alright. And I obviously was not okay myself. So, she didn’t say anything at all. For the first time in our friendship Selene just let me cry it all out, until my tears ducts were bone dry. And that was the best thing she could have done for me at that time. "I’ve got an idea, get dressed."

I shook my head. "I’m not sure if that’s such a good idea. I don’t feel like going anywhere, or being around anyone. Besides, I have that mess to clean up."I was referring to all the glass that I had shattered all throughout my flat last night out of anger. I had come straight home and just broke it all. As I woke up and thought about it I realized how poor my decision had been. But then again, I wasn’t really thinking, I was just ruining my flat.

"You’ll like this, trust me. I’ll clear out all of the rubbish and you just go get dressed." I sighed and got up. I looked back at her in a pleading manner. "Do you trust me?" I sent her a small smile and disappeared into the toilet. Selene wasn’t a dull person, and so I knew whatever she had up her sleeve would be interesting. She was my best friend as well, and so I knew I could always count on her. Therefore I took her word and trusted her.

"Alright Miss Malia, you can open your eyes." I did and frowned at what I saw. "Malia I thought you would enjoy this. You always wanted to come here when we we’re younger."

"Yes Selene, when we were children. Not when I’m dealing with Blaise having a child with my evil elder sister." I sighed. "I don’t want to be around people and you bring me to London, where I cannot get away from them!" I rolled my eyes and walked away from her.

"Malia, where are you going?"

"I need a fag," I replied.

"What," she nearly shouted. "Since when do you smoke?"

"Since…now I suppose." Ignoring her, I entered the shop and bought a pack that the cashier recommended, considering that I had no clue as how to know what kind I would like. I was almost sure that I wouldn’t like them at all. But for now it was what I wanted.

I left the store with my fags and lighter in one hand and stood beside Selene. "Ugh, that is disgusting Malia." She disapproved as I lit the fag and took a drag. Again I ignored her and tried to savor my first experience. The smoke didn’t settle quite right in my throat and I began to cough.

"Oh my goodness Malia; you have no clue what you’re doing," she ranted as she patted my back.

"Well Selene, what do you expect when you bring me around these stupid muggles?" She sent me a hurt look. "What?"

"Malia, you used to be so fascinated by these ‘stupid muggles’. Don’t let this ruin your life, or your relationship with Zabini."

I stomped the fag out and blew out the remainder of the smoke. "You really expect me to go back and pretend that nothing had happened?"

Selene shook her head. "No Malia I don’t, not ever. I just don’t want you to make a decision while you’re piss angry. No good choices ever came from anger." She was right about that.

"I don’t know how to let my anger go." I didn’t even know if I was truly angry. I’m sure that I was last night, but I think I was just hurt now.

Selene inhaled deeply. "Why do you think we’re here? It’ll be just like all those foolish muggle films you always begged me to watch." Malia giggled. "So you’re not mad at me for bringing you here?" I shook my head no and Selene pulled me into an embrace. "Good, then we’ll start with coffee."

"That sounds absolutely posh," I joked, which made Selene laugh and our day was set in stone. But I couldn’t shake the feeling that a caramel macchiato would not remedy my predicament, or if endless hours of spending money would get my mind off of the dilemma either. Then again maybe Selene did know best.