Mall of Vetis

"Patrick!" Heaven whines, "Please."

"No," Patrick says, stepping out from behind the counter and around her.

"Please!" she whines, "Please please please please please please!"

"NO!" Patrick stresses, slipping into the pop section.

"Oh god, please Patrick, it's you or Brendon!"

"No."

He tries to escape by twisting down the 80's Rock section, but Heaven's too fast and lunges at his legs. He nearly topples over into Poison. Heaven hangs on to his leg as he drags her down the aisle.

"Patrick! Patrick, Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease!"

"Oh hey, is it Pleading with Patrick day?" Pete says peering at them from the aisle, "Awesome, I haven't played this game in a while!"

Pete lunges for Patrick's other leg, and Patrick flails his arms out, nearly falling for the second time in the last five minutes.

"Patrick!" Pete pleads.

"Please!" Heaven yells.

"No."

"Patrick!" Pete whines.

"Please!"

"NO," Patrick shouts, trying to move. He drags them a few inches, before he knocks his own hat off. He stills instantly.

"Patrick!"

"Please!"

"Give me my hat," Patrick says stoically.

"Wait," Pete says, "What am I begging for? Does it involve naked Patrick?"

"Patrick won't be Santa," Heaven says, pounting at Pete.

"Shit, Trick, c'mon, do it. I want to be your elf. Kinky role play, hell yes!"

"I am not playing Santa," Patrick says moodily, "Little kids are mean."

"Do this for me Patrick. Please!" Pete begs, wide-eyed.

"No Pete," Patrick says.

"Okay. I can live with that," Pete says, and Heaven gives him a betrayed look from Patrick's other foot. Pete takes a deep breath, "Thissssssssssssssss is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends. Some people started singing it not knowing what it was, and they'll continue singing it forever just because this is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends, some people started singing it not knowing what it was, they'll continue singing it forever just because this is the song that never ends..."

Heaven laughs. Long and hard, and Patrick starts muttering to himself, "You better agree. I think he's getting a second wind."

"Damn it. Pete shut the hell up!" Patrick roars, "Fine. I'll do it."

"Awesome!" Heaven grins, skipping out of the store and back to Macy's. On the way there she runs into Parker and they walk back together. Parker makes Heaven promise to let Brendon be an elf with Pete.

/***\

Heaven really hates Christmas season. It's the worst part of the year. She steps into Macy's and stops short. There are three tellers running for her. Minnie, who works in the purses, gets there first. There is alot of flailing and out of breath pointing. Then Heaven hears the shrieking. She rushes to the bags, the cashiers right behind her.

There are two women fighting over a Coach bag that's been marked down fifteen percent. It is, of course, the very last one. A blonde woman has a redhead in a head lock, one hand locked firmly over the handles of the bag.
The redhead has a handful of the blonde's hair, pulling viciously. They're both screaming.

"I got twenty on the redhead," Johnny says, peering over Heaven's shoulder. Syn is standing at his shoulder, eyes wide.

The redhead shrieks and gives a yank, and a handful of the blonde woman's long hair comes out in her hand.

"Oh, I got fifty on the blonde bitch," Minnie says, waving a fistful of cash, "I bet she's pissed now. Extensions are expensive."

"Bitch, no you didn't!" the blonde yells, knocks the redhead to the ground and drops an elbow on her throat.

"Damn it," Heaven says, "I guess I should break it up."

"No no, c'mon Heaven," Johnny complains, "They might rip each other's clothes off."

Heaven wades in, "As manager of Macy's I'm going to have to ask you to--"

They roll into the back of Heaven's legs and she goes down hard, stuck in the middle of the fist fight over a Coach bag. They both roll over her, her head gets squashed by someone's thigh. She pushes at them both. An elbow lands in her right eye and she rears up, kicks the redhead in the stomach and pulls the blonde woman to her feet and punches her in the eye.

"Get the hell out of my store!" she roars, throwing the bag behind the cash register, "Give it to the first person who asks polietly."

"Hell yes!" Syn crows, waving a fistful of money, "I told you she was going to win."

Ten minutes later Heaven cuts the line at the Java the Hut and stares balefully at Ryan, "I need caffeine."

"What the hell happened to you?" Spencer raises an eyebrow and pokes her black eye harshly.

She smacks his hand away, presses her face to the cool glass of the counter and mutters, "Christmas happened to me."

"Well bah humbug," Ryan says handing her a caramel machiatto and piece of lemon cake.

Heaven smiles at him and Spencer snorts. She turns her bruised eye to him and gives him her meanest look. He snorts again and turns away. Heaven breaks off a piece of her cake, jumps the counter and smashes it in his hair. She's already jumped the counter and ran halfway down the corridor before he starts shouting. Ryan's laughter follows her back to Macy's.

/***\

Patrick hires staff to cover for him and Pete during their Santa hours. Brendon has taken to wearing his elf uniform to the Disney store. Vicky-T is actually handling it a lot better than Heaven thought she would. Pete had designed the uniforms himself. Heaven tried really hard not to laugh to his face, because they were sort of ridiculous.

They were satin green tunics with shiny, tacky silver bands that wrapped around the middle and tied in the back. There were red tights, black pointed shoes with silver bells. He topped the whole thing with matching cap and cape. When he gave Parker her copy she punched him in the throat and walked away, muttering.

Patrick rubs his shin, counting the sixteenth time he's been kicked in it, grimacing. Pete is snickering from the front of the line, holding the next kid's hand. He's got her smiling and laughing. He leads her up to the chair where Brendon picks her up and puts her on Patrick's lap.

"Ho ho ho," Patrick says.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!" the girl screams, and starts to cry. This is the twelfth kid to do that today. Patrick really hates Heaven for talking him into this.

"It's okay honey," Pete coos over Brendon's shoulder, "Why don't you tell Santa what you want for Christmas."

Immediately she stops crying and smiles up at Patrick, "I want the new Bratz doll. She's got pink in her hair and comes with a guitar."

"Okay," Patrick says evenly, "As long as you're a good girl until Christmas comes."

"Promise," she nods, climbs off his lap without Brendon's help and runs to her mom.

The next little girl Pete sits on his lap cries and Patrick sighs and wonders if Pete tells them to do that.

/***\

Heaven's hip knocks into the wall of the dressing room in Forever 21. The customer changing in the next stall knocks against their own wall and mutters "fuck". Gabe starts laughing, his hand halfway up her shirt. Her hand is stuck in his pants, they both wiggle, one of her legs twisted around his hip.

"You need baggier pants," Heaven pants, pulling her hand out and popping the button, "We're never going to get anywhere with these skin tight ones."

"You need to stop trying to get laid in the changing stalls," Nicole roars, rapping on the door, "Get back to work Saporta!"

She kicks the changing stall again and walks away muttering about Gabe's inability to change in the stalls, even if he can try to have a quickie in one. Heaven laughs as she threatens to fire him.

"Well," Heaven says, "This was fun."

She smoothes her hair in her mirror, checking her lip gloss and wiping at her mouth. Frowing she wipes at the smudge of eye liner on her cheek and wonders how it got there. Gabe laughs again.

"Just like high school."

"Well, with less closets and less alcohol."

"Who are you making out with next?" Gabe asks and Heaven shrugs.

"Eh. Think I'm gonna hit Gerard next," Heaven shrugs, "See how many mall guys I can go through during the holiday season."

/***\

"What is Heaven doing?" Parker stares at Tarra, "Nicole said she caught her making out with Gabe earlier."

Tarra shrugs, "She was sucking face with Gerard earlier, too. I think she's doing the Ryan-won't-pay-attention-to-me-so-I'm-gonna-make-out-with-everyone thing."

"Oh god, not the no-one-loves-me thing," Parker rolls her eyes, "That took less time than when her and Pete spent that month dating."

"Oh god, black February," Tarra shakes her head sadly, "We don't talk about that month."

"Are we gossiping about Heaven?" Nell sticks her head in the back room of the Java the Hut, "She's making eyes at Ryan again."

"Is she really?" Parker asks clapping gleefully.

They all peer around the doorjamb and sure enough Heaven is leaning over the counter, her head on her hands. Tarra can practically see the little red hearts floating above her head. She shifts as Ryan says something to her and nods happily. She starts talking, waving her hands around. Spencer is laughing behind Ryan's shoulder. Heaven flips him off.

Ryan says something else and turns away and her shoulders fall and she takes her drink and walks away.

"She's kinda pathetic," Tarra shakes her head, "I sorta want to help her, but it's too amusing."

"Let's give it a week," Nell nods, "Maybe by then she'll figure her shit out."

"Are we talking shit on Heaven?" Spencer asks, sticking his head in the door, "She just let Ryan talk her into buying obscure music from Patrick."

"Oh god," Tarra mutters, "Are my ears going to bleed tonight?"

"I think most of it was in French," Spencer shrugs. Tarra smacks herself in the face.

/***\

"Heaven!" Parker breathes heavily, huffing as if she's been running. Which, she has, "Patrick's sick!"

"What! It's Christmas Eve. What the hell are we going to do?"

"Yeah, um, that's not the worst part," Parker says, "Umm--"

"Brendon Urie to the rescue!" Brendon comes sliding into the room in the Santa suit, hands on hips and chest puffed out.

"That," Parker finishes, flinching like Heaven is going to rip her face off.

Heaven can feel her eye twitching.

"Please tell me Patrick is coming in," Heaven begs, "Please."

"It's pnuemonia," Parker says apologetically.

"Here comes Santa Claus Here comes Santa Claus right down Santa Claus Lane!" Brendon bellows, running out of Macy's and toward the Santa display.

"Wait!" Heaven says with horror, "Who's going to do Santa for the parade?"

"He's been warming up his waving all morning," Parker says with a straight face. Heaven needs coffee.

"I need coffee," she says, shaking her head and leaving.

When she gets to the Java the Hut she sighs, leaning against the counter. The line is forever long, twisting down, around and in front of the shop next door. She jumps the counter and makes her own drink without saying anything to Spencer or Ryan. She vaguely wonders if Tarra ever works out front, but since she bakes everything and isn't a people person she seriously doubts it.

Sliding down the cabinet with drink in hand she huddles in the farthest corner under the sink. She's not moving, no one can make her. And when she does move Brendon is not going to be Santa. Patrick is not going to be sick. And since she's wishing big, she'll have never dated Pete.
No, Heaven is not moving, and no one can make her.

Ryan crouches down next to her and smiles. Heaven thinks he's really fucking pretty. "You're in the way right there."

Heaven thinks he's prettier when he's not telling her to move, "I am not moving. You cannot make me."

Spencer kicks her in the leg, "If you're staying you need to open the third register and help."

"Fuck you fucksquat," Heaven says.

"Fucksquat?" Ryan echoes, while Spencer laughs and kicks her again.

"My brain hurts. Brendon is Santa, and Patrick better be dead. Dead, because there is a parade tomorrow and Brendon is practicing his wave."

"What's so bad about Brendon being Santa?" Ryan asks, sitting next to her and she sighs.

"It's Brendon, he's--"

There is a loud bang and shouting starts immediately. Brendon comes running through and jumps the counter, landing next to them.

"There is a good chance I broke the Santa chair," Brendon says breathlessly.

"How?" Heaven whines.

"Well, there was dancing," Brendon says, "Um. I don't think I should tell you the rest. You're going to hit me."

"I'm not going to hit you," Heaven says, "What did you do?"

Brendon flinches under his fake beard anyway, "Well, I was standing on the chair, singing Santa Claus is Coming to Town. You know, cause the kids love it, and then the whole line did the Hokey Pokey. But then the parents got mad. And the kids went crazy because it was lunch break, and um. There may have been a small revolt. And the chair might have fallen off it's platform and landed on Pete."

Heaven just stares at Brendon, because seriously? It took him half an hour to break the Santa display. She reaches out without thinking and pulls on the fake beard. She lets it go and it springs back in his face with a loud twack.

"Ouch!" he whines, "You said you weren't going to hit me."

"I changed my mind," Heaven says, "You should run now."

"But there are angry parents out there," Brendon whispers, looking toward the door fearfully.

"There is an angry Heaven in here," she says menacingly.

Brendon weighs his options, "Bye!"

"Eight, seven, six, five, four--"

"What are you doing?" Ryan grins at her, resting a hand on her thigh.

"I'm giving him a headstart," Heaven says, looking down at Ryan's hand and smiling, "I'll see you later Ryan."

She jumps the counter and chases after Brendon. He better hope she doesn't catch him, too. Macy's isn't paying Pete's hospital bills.

She doesn't find Brendon. And she looks everywhere. In the pet store on the first floor, the Disney store, Forever 21. She stops at Hot Topic and sticks her head in, but he's not there either. Shaking her head she heads back to Macy's to find Parker.

Parker is sniping people when she gets there, and it's awesome, because Heaven sorta missed people complaining about getting sprayed. She squirts an elderly woman with cologne. The woman stops, smells herself and shrugs. She buys a bottle of the stuff off Parker's cart and continues on her way.

Heaven smiles, because sometimes Parker gets lucky and doesn't get yelled at, and that's so much more fun to watch. She gets this surprised look on her face and smiles.
Heaven might buy her a cookie later.

"How's Pete?" she asks, standing next to her friend.

"Sprained ankle, two bruised ribs. Apparently the Santa chair weighs fifty pounds," Parker sighs heavily.

"Um--so, you realize you have to be Santa tomorrow, right?" Heaven asks, "Okay, see you at five am."

"Heaven!" Parker calls after her, a whine in her voice, "Heaven, I'm not being Santa! Oh come on, I know you can hear me! Heaven!"

Parker is jumping up and down flailing. People are staring as they walk by. "Damn it!" she hisses, because she's totally Santa tomorrow in the parade.

(They later find out that Brendon was chased out of the mall by an angry mob and spent six hours hiding in the dumpsters in the back of the building.)