From Gumboots To Jimmy Choo's

He was asleep when I went to go talk to him. His mother lead me upstairs and then went back to the kitchen to feed the rest of her brood. His curls were messy and his mouth was slightly opening. I couldn't do it.

Of all the things I ever regretted in my life, it was this moment right here. Tears fell in the dozens as I crept quietly closer. I was leaving tonight for Europe.

Europe. Can you believe it?

I didn't want to do it this way. I knew though, that it was just going to be so much harder if I actually had to say it.

I almost collapsed as I laid the note on his bedside table. It was tear stained. I prayed to God that he'd keep his bracelet on, holding onto that spare little hope that we might just make it through.

I placed a soft kiss on his cheek, making him stir slightly but still he slept on, that heavenly boy.

"I-I'll miss you." I whispered as I stepped back from his bed, walking dejectedly back to the door. I stopped before I shut it behind me, saying the words I'd always wanted to say but never able to.

"I love you Nicholas Jerry Jonas."

And then, I was gone.