Anonymous

It took me two days to get up the courage to even look at the thread in question. Personal Lives of the Band thread found on Imnotokay.net. It wasn’t the only place where our fans talked about our personal lives, but it sure as hell was the only one where the members displayed enough intelligence to spell out three letter words. Plus, it was small; a good twenty regulars circulated that particular thread, while the rest just lurked. I couldn’t tell you how many lurked, but that was of no concern of me. I focused on the girls (it seems we don’t have many guy fans) who dedicated most of their days and nights to analyzing and over-analyzing actions, words, blogs, and videos from us and the people who we are forced to associate with. All I can say was, you really were causing us to loose our fans.

Never had I seen such a split amongst fans since you and Bert split; and even then, it wasn’t that bad. Most of our fans saw it fine to love both bands equally despite the slight taking of sides. However, this was different. Full blown cat fights; fans fighting with fans. Abuse of caps and exclamation points, abuse of power and just plain personal abuse. There were those who liked or tolerated Eliza, there were those who couldn’t stand the sight of her, there were the others who just wanted you to be happy, and there was a bunch who had no idea what the fuck was going on. Girls who seemed to be friends were jumping down each other’s throat. Misinterpreting posts and assuming everyone were spewing fighting words. I read for hours and hours the pages of the third Personal Lives thread before it became too much…

People were calling you a liar, Gerard. They said Bert spilled your secrets. I wouldn’t put it passed him to do it- he’d look for any excuse to slander your name. And it worked. Those who had supported you since the beginning were turning their backs on you. You, Gerard. And what sucked more was…you were bringing us down with you.

After the fifth time “Garwin” yelled at someone, after the tenth time “Lycia” yelled at someone for spamming, after the 100th fucking time “Alpha” said Eliza wasn’t your fiancé- and God I wished that girl was speaking the fucking truth- I clicked out. I couldn’t take the theories, the analyzing, the split. I couldn’t take it because it just proved all my fears of the impending storm.

The next day, I decided I was going to post. I wouldn’t use my name of course, but I would spill. Tell the fans everything and hope to God they believed me. I don’t know what it would do; maybe having them see what trouble you were in would push them to help you. Maybe I just needed more people to join me in the “Eliza Hate Club.” Okay, I wasn’t that selfish…I think. Whatever, I just knew I had to post something. Anything- reassure them that we were going to be okay. We were going to be okay, right Gerard? All of us. This wasn’t the end of My Chemical Romance. We have been through tougher shit than this and always came out on top.

Eliza was not going to be the fucking Yoko Ono of our band.

We were in Amsterdam. One am. Everyone but me was asleep. I slowly snuck out of my bunk, careful not to wake Matt since he was a fucking light sleeper. God damn voices in my head wake that kid up. I passed your bunk on the way out; I could hear you restless breaths from behind the thin curtain- when was the last time you slept well? Maybe when I finish my deed, you can sleep. Maybe deep down you want everyone to know the truth about you- you aren’t a liar Gerard, you are just afraid.

I walked into the main living area…when something interesting caught my wondering eyes. Brian, with his back towards me, typing furiously on his laptop. The blue light shined against him, adding a certain heavenly shine against his black hair. I slowly made my way behind him, to get a better look at what had our manager up so late. I saw the website staring angrily back at me; the reply box open, and a lengthy, well versed, post in its infancy.

“Oh Brian…” my voice startled the poor man, and he quickly jumped out of his seat- fright evident in his large cool eyes. He looked at me, stunned, caught. He had no way out of the situation; I knew exactly which site he was on and I knew exactly what he was planning on doing. I never thought he, good little Brian, would think as sinisterly as me.

“Frank-“

“Sh,” I hushed him, “what are you doing?”

“Nothing…” Even so, he tried to lie to me. Poor boy, he was too frighten to form words or even move. He remained perfectly still as I took his once occupied seat. I stared apathetically at his message typed and ready for postage:

Hi

I felt I had to write to you guys to allay some of your fears regarding the rumours and speculation surrounding Gerard and Eliza and the future of the band.

This is the only time I will ever post. I will not be able to respond to your comments or enter into discussion or debate on what I'm about to say.

We are aware that this is one of the most popular message boards for MCR fans and we know you guys are the most dedicated and loyal fans in the world. It saddens me to see such division amongst the fans over one woman. If it's any consolation, you guys are not the only ones affected. She is merely tolerated by both band and crew. Believe me, nothing anyone can say will change his mind. She's been the cause of numerous conflicts and while we dont have to like it, we have to accept it, at least for the forseeable future.

From day one this woman has had a hidden agenda - her manipulation knows no bounds. Some of you may find this difficult to believe but I assure you I have personally witnessed the two sides of this woman. Her so-called 'good deeds' are nothing more than PR exercises for his benefit. But he does not see what goes on behind closed doors.

We have tried to draw his attention to her blatant self-promotion and diva demands. This is a prime example of love being blind. His feelings for her do run very deep. Her feelings for him, however, are questionable at best. Many people believe, including myself, that he is being used as nothing more than a stepping stone. It's disheartening to see someone you care about and have worked with for a very long time change as a person, becoming more detached and causing the group dynamic to change as a result.

There have been conflicts and differences of opinions and compromises have had to be made She does not accompany the band on the European legs of the tour. Since being on this current European leg, he seems much happier which suggest she doesnt make him as happy as he thinks.

Despite being asked more than once to remain discreet, she blatantly disregards his wish to keep his personal life private by continually fuelling the internet hype. The band has always been about the music and the fans. This will not change. MCR have never endorsed any type of clique as it encourages and promotes the kind of high school mentality that MCR have always fought against.

Your continued support is appreciated and rest assured this woman will have no adverse affect on the band and the music. For obvious reasons I am remaining anonymous.

“Look, Frankie,” he tried to sound comforting, but I immediately silenced him with my hand. A dangerous smile played against my lips: his words were perfect enough for me. Not giving them too much information, but hopefully giving them enough to put their minds at ease. Hopefully, being the key word.

“She’s going to know it’s you,” I sighed: anyone who was around Brian long enough would know it was him; he had a distinct diction that, though may seem ordinary in the outside word, no one else in our crew had. He was the only one who could have written this work of art; and even if Eliza wanted to blow it off as nothing, she should always have that speculation. I couldn’t have her soiling Brian’s name: he was one of the closest to you.

“I know,” he ran his fingers through his hair, “but hopefully Gerard will blow it off as her own, personal, paranoia.”

I laughed at his nativity, “Oh like she would.” I cracked my fingers and began typing myself.

“What the hell are you doing?” He swiftly moved behind me, reading the line I wrote over my shoulder.

“Same thing you are Brian my boy,” I looked up at him, a twinkle in my eye and a sinister smile on my lips, “damage control.”

Eliza, we know you trawl these message boards and you probably know who I am - but I'd like to see you try and prove it!!!"

“Her brain will explode before she even has the time to show Gerard…”