An Arrow to My Chest

Oh. My. Dear. Lord!
Oh shit.
Oh fuck.
Oh-kay.
I don’t wanna get into detail, ‘cause I barely remember anything anyway, but that was amazing.
Oh dear lord of a second father!
I don’t even know what I’m saying anymore. Nor thinking! Should I know?
Do you lose brain cells when being fucked? I’ve been fucked before, but-
Oh dear lord! That was insane. That was amazingly insane.
He was so- And… He…
Oh, he just knew! He knew everything! I’m so sure he’s slept with other guys. But I’m not gonna think about that. I’m just gonna think about now.
Now, where I’m lying with my head on his sweat-wet chest. We’re completely naked on the grass. I think I’ve got about a billion green stripes and streaks all over my back, but I don’t care. ‘Cause right now Gerard is stroking my back – softly tickling it with his fingers, and it feel so good!
The sun is shining brightly, still. It was shining all the way through I think. But heck, even if a cloud did cover it up for a few minutes, I was too far up in heaven to even notice. ‘Cause yeah, ‘Little Gerard’ is my god! My druid! My master! I’ll proudly bow to it. And kiss it.

-----

It’s dark. Luckily I know the way back to camp, but as soon as I see the fire, it gets a lot easier! Oh, come on! Can you find your way around in a deep, dark forest, huh? Didn’t think so.
Gerard and I have been holding hands the entire way through the dark, but something makes me want to pull my hand away when we start approaching the fire. I stop. Gerard turns around and frowns at me.

“Are you okay?” he asks as he strokes the back of my hand with his thumb. I frown apologetic up at him. He steps closer to me and tilts his head down slightly to keep eye contact with me.
“What’s wrong?” I want to cry. But Robin Hood doesn’t cry! Never! Not even when his pet rabbit died and they had-
Nope. Robin Hood never cries!
“Is everything okay?” I stare into Gerard’s eyes, before I take a deep breath.

“I can’t be in love with you,” I whisper. Gerard hears me, but he doesn’t change his worried expression. Neither does he stop stroking the back of my hand.
“I can’t be in love with a rich guy.” I don’t know why I had to repeat it and clarify it. I just had to.
Gerard looks disappointed. He looks down.

“Okay,” he whispers and lets go of my hand. It falls down heavily and dangles by my side. It feels like I’ve been punched in the gut. It hurts in that hollow way.

“No,” I whisper, and Gerard looks up at me again. I swallow. I quickly look down to find his hand in the darkness. I grab onto it – tightly. I look back up.
“I am in love with you.” My voice can’t seem to move beyond a whisper. But that doesn’t matter. Gerard’s eyes smile – his mouth following suite a second after – so I know he’s heard my words.
“I am in love with a rich guy!” I laugh. Even my laugh seems to be nothing but a whisper. Gerard laughs in the same way.

“I’m in love with a pillager!” He suddenly leans forward and kisses my lips briefly.
“I’m in love with an outlaw!” He kisses me again.
“I’m in love with Robin Hood!” He kisses me again.
“I’m in love with you.” He kisses me again, and this time the kiss is long and tender and…loving. Oh, so loving! Oh my dear sweet heart, please don’t blow up.

-----

“There you are, Frank!” Little Bob says. He smiles at me while he stirs in the casserole.
“You almost missed di-“ He stops in the middle of his sentence when he notices me and Gerard’s hands are entwined. He frowns. Then he looks down at Gerard’s feet and frowns even more. Then he looks up at me.
“What the…” he trails off. I smile vaguely. I hope he understands.
“You…” He can’t even complete a sentence. Please understand, Little Bob? Please?
He opens his mouth to say something, but nothing passes his lips.

“You’re fucking a rich guy?” Ray Scarlett sounds outraged. I look over at him – fear burning in my blood and rushing through my body. He’s got a ‘you’ve-got-to-be-fucking-kidding-me’-look on his face. I can’t describe it any better than that.

“I’m also in love with him.” My voice is a bit more than a whisper, but it’s still very, very low. And not because I’m embarrassed! I’m just a bit afraid. But not afraid-afraid! Robin Hood is never afraid! But he can be nervous.
I feel Gerard squeeze my hand, and it gives me more courage. I straighten my back.
“I’m in love with a rich guy!” I say – loud and proud. Ray Scarlett’s jaw drops and I can see Little Bob move in the corner of my eye. When I look over at him, he’s got a hand up in front of his eyes. I smirk at him as his hand slowly wipes down his face. He looks at me. Or, well; scowls is a more correct way to explain it.
He points a finger at me.

“Just don’t fucking do some loud lovemaking when it’s bedtime! I don’t wanna hear about how big your cocks are!” I laugh at him. God, I love that guy!

“I second that,” Ray Scarlett calls and when I look over at him, he’s got a hand in the air. Okay! I love these fucking guys!
I laugh loudly, before Gerard and I walk over to sit on a log across from Ray Scarlett. Little Bob soon brings the food.

“We need to buy more beans. This is the last of them, and unless you wanna live off unripe fruits and mushrooms or meat, then we need to go into town tomorrow.” I wrinkle up my nose when he mentions the meat. I nod obediently. It has been a while since we’ve been into town. They’ve probably forgotten us by now.
We take a spoon each and start digging in. I look up at us all. We’re like a true family. Now, if only the other two would settle down with someone, perhaps we could have little people running around us. And Gerard and I would be the best uncles ever!