The Hardest Part Is Letting Go of Your Dreams
"Congradulations!"
*Gerards POV*
What the fuck just happened? Frank just quit the band that's what happened. I can't believe this. Why is he leaving he doesn't understand how much I love him and.... maybe he needed to get away. I don't fucking know anymore. I ran back to the bus and threw all of Franks stuff. I can't take this. He promised me that he'd never ever do this. 'Together forever..... no, never together'.
*Flashback (oooh)*
I was silently crying. I had to get away, I always run away when someone leaves me. But this time I couldn't stop running. She ment so much to me and she taught me so much. I would have kept running if Frank didn't run up to me and give me a hug that forced me to stop. But that only made me cry harder.
"Frank, I can't do this anymore" I'm not sure if he fully knew what I meant but he still replyed.
"Look, I'll always be here for you Gerard and I'm going to help you get through this but I think you should be with Mikey right now, it's his loss, too" He always makes perfect sense.
"Promise?" I asked.
"I promise" He said with all the meaning in his heart.
*End of Flashback*
I was snapped out of my thought when I heard a girl outside the bus start yelling.
*Zanads POV*
"How could you do this, Frankie?!? I thought you cared not only for me or Gerard but for the band!" I screamed at him while tears silently fell down my face. "I really thought you cared, I know who you are, Frankie," I yelled. He refused to look at me until I mentioned: " I know who you're not. I know you're not Frank!"
"Look, Z-" he started to say.
"Don't fucking call me that!" I yelled at him. I don't think my voice will be in any shape to sing tomorrow.
"Fine, Zandalee," he said and I stood there just glaring at him. We were back stage, right after Frank had announced his resignation and I was screaming at him for it. The rest of MCR and FX was standing around watching. Well, everyone except Gerard who'd ran back to his bus and Mikey who went after him. No one tried to stop me because they knew they couldn't, not until I was finished.
"Why would you desert your bandmates?!?" I screamed. "Why would you forget what you told me? You said, that you'd always stuck by your friends and you always would! Well, you're the biggest FUCKING liar I've ever met! Congragulations!" and with that I turned and ran back to my tour bus just like Gerard had done with tears streaming down my face.
I probably won't ever see him again after he goes back to his home and I continue with the tour. And what about Gerard? I knew he was trying to give Frank up, but I also knew that doing that was almost impossible if you really loved someone and it took time. Maybe it was better if I never saw him again. Gerard could finally have him. I thought he cared for me though. I couldn't let Gerard feel the same heartbreak.
Jazz, Keel, Tay, Ray, and that asshole were knocking on the door to the bus. I'd locked the door the second I got in and went to cry on my bunk.
"Leave me alone!" I screamed. The knocking stopped and I knew they were walking away saying 'It's no use. She won't come out until she wants to.' and they were right. So I just sat there and cried. But I wish they would have tried harder because I hate that they always give up so easily. That's maybe why I do it. But nobody knows what it is. Not even Frankie.
*Mikey's POV*
"Gerard let me in! It's your brother!" I yelled. Gerard had ran and locked himself in the tour bus. I'd went after him right after he'd run off the stage, leaving Zanda's screaming ringing behind me. No one else came because they knew I was the only one he'd talk to. Except for Frank but.......
He opened the door. His eyes were puffy and red.
"Hey," I said walking in and giving him a hug. He just nodded into my shoulder.
"Wanna talk?" I asked gently. He just nodded again.
"Remember when Grandma died?"
"Of course I do, Gerard."
"Well before I came in with you after running away, Frank came and comforted me. He said "Look, I'll always be here for you Gerard and I'm going to help you get through this but I think you should be with Mikey right now, it's his loss, too.'' But he lied Mikey! He lied! That
bastard lied!" he cried.
"Mom wouldn't like you using that language mister!" I was trying to make him laugh a little. It worked.... a little.
"Nice try Mikey," he said, smiling. But that still didn't take the pain away. I can't believe this is happening. Most of all I can't believe Frank broke his promise.
*Franks POV*
I didn't know that they would take this that hard. It's been an hour since I've shared the news and Jazz had to sing and play guitar because Zanda refused to some out of her tourbus. Ray and I are just sitting here. I know he wants to say something but... I don't know. I guess we are both trying to find a way to solve this.
"Just stay" Said the stupid little voice in my head. But when have I ever listened to it?
I know I should stay but what then? Well make another album and I'll still be staring at Gerard while he's not looking. Something needs to change. Soon.
"But something did change. Already," said the voice in my head. What is this 'Mess with Frankie's head night'? " Zanda's here now, that's what changed," I thought for a moment.
Before I could stop myself from talking outloud I said "Yeah, I have Zanda." Ray just looks at me as if I had mental problems. That wasn't diffrent from any other day.
What the fuck just happened? Frank just quit the band that's what happened. I can't believe this. Why is he leaving he doesn't understand how much I love him and.... maybe he needed to get away. I don't fucking know anymore. I ran back to the bus and threw all of Franks stuff. I can't take this. He promised me that he'd never ever do this. 'Together forever..... no, never together'.
*Flashback (oooh)*
I was silently crying. I had to get away, I always run away when someone leaves me. But this time I couldn't stop running. She ment so much to me and she taught me so much. I would have kept running if Frank didn't run up to me and give me a hug that forced me to stop. But that only made me cry harder.
"Frank, I can't do this anymore" I'm not sure if he fully knew what I meant but he still replyed.
"Look, I'll always be here for you Gerard and I'm going to help you get through this but I think you should be with Mikey right now, it's his loss, too" He always makes perfect sense.
"Promise?" I asked.
"I promise" He said with all the meaning in his heart.
*End of Flashback*
I was snapped out of my thought when I heard a girl outside the bus start yelling.
*Zanads POV*
"How could you do this, Frankie?!? I thought you cared not only for me or Gerard but for the band!" I screamed at him while tears silently fell down my face. "I really thought you cared, I know who you are, Frankie," I yelled. He refused to look at me until I mentioned: " I know who you're not. I know you're not Frank!"
"Look, Z-" he started to say.
"Don't fucking call me that!" I yelled at him. I don't think my voice will be in any shape to sing tomorrow.
"Fine, Zandalee," he said and I stood there just glaring at him. We were back stage, right after Frank had announced his resignation and I was screaming at him for it. The rest of MCR and FX was standing around watching. Well, everyone except Gerard who'd ran back to his bus and Mikey who went after him. No one tried to stop me because they knew they couldn't, not until I was finished.
"Why would you desert your bandmates?!?" I screamed. "Why would you forget what you told me? You said, that you'd always stuck by your friends and you always would! Well, you're the biggest FUCKING liar I've ever met! Congragulations!" and with that I turned and ran back to my tour bus just like Gerard had done with tears streaming down my face.
I probably won't ever see him again after he goes back to his home and I continue with the tour. And what about Gerard? I knew he was trying to give Frank up, but I also knew that doing that was almost impossible if you really loved someone and it took time. Maybe it was better if I never saw him again. Gerard could finally have him. I thought he cared for me though. I couldn't let Gerard feel the same heartbreak.
Jazz, Keel, Tay, Ray, and that asshole were knocking on the door to the bus. I'd locked the door the second I got in and went to cry on my bunk.
"Leave me alone!" I screamed. The knocking stopped and I knew they were walking away saying 'It's no use. She won't come out until she wants to.' and they were right. So I just sat there and cried. But I wish they would have tried harder because I hate that they always give up so easily. That's maybe why I do it. But nobody knows what it is. Not even Frankie.
*Mikey's POV*
"Gerard let me in! It's your brother!" I yelled. Gerard had ran and locked himself in the tour bus. I'd went after him right after he'd run off the stage, leaving Zanda's screaming ringing behind me. No one else came because they knew I was the only one he'd talk to. Except for Frank but.......
He opened the door. His eyes were puffy and red.
"Hey," I said walking in and giving him a hug. He just nodded into my shoulder.
"Wanna talk?" I asked gently. He just nodded again.
"Remember when Grandma died?"
"Of course I do, Gerard."
"Well before I came in with you after running away, Frank came and comforted me. He said "Look, I'll always be here for you Gerard and I'm going to help you get through this but I think you should be with Mikey right now, it's his loss, too.'' But he lied Mikey! He lied! That
bastard lied!" he cried.
"Mom wouldn't like you using that language mister!" I was trying to make him laugh a little. It worked.... a little.
"Nice try Mikey," he said, smiling. But that still didn't take the pain away. I can't believe this is happening. Most of all I can't believe Frank broke his promise.
*Franks POV*
I didn't know that they would take this that hard. It's been an hour since I've shared the news and Jazz had to sing and play guitar because Zanda refused to some out of her tourbus. Ray and I are just sitting here. I know he wants to say something but... I don't know. I guess we are both trying to find a way to solve this.
"Just stay" Said the stupid little voice in my head. But when have I ever listened to it?
I know I should stay but what then? Well make another album and I'll still be staring at Gerard while he's not looking. Something needs to change. Soon.
"But something did change. Already," said the voice in my head. What is this 'Mess with Frankie's head night'? " Zanda's here now, that's what changed," I thought for a moment.
Before I could stop myself from talking outloud I said "Yeah, I have Zanda." Ray just looks at me as if I had mental problems. That wasn't diffrent from any other day.