The Hardest Part Is Letting Go of Your Dreams
WHY?
*Jazz's POV*
Everything is falling apart!! I even had to say Zanda got a sudden case of food poisening and wasn't able to sing yesterday. Because of her "food poisening" I had to sing and I'm good but I'm not Z good.
We're rolling down the interstate right now, toward our next town. Ray's worried about Gerard killing Frank in his sleep, and I'm worried about Zanda and her broken heart. She knows that if Frank really does quit MCR, she'll probably never see him again. I wouldn't be able to handle that. She's a strong girl though.
Z's been a hermit the last three hours, strong girl or not. I can't blame her. She's "napping" in her bunk but I know she's crying, thinking then, squeezing out a few more tears beore she just stares at the bunk above her.
*Zanda's POV*
I stared at the bunk above me, Doing nothing but breath, really. Except think. Nope, We never stop thinking. I'd figured out the answer to my old question with the arrival of my new one.
Why?
Why-
Is Frank deserting me and his friends?
Can't ANYTHING in my life go as planned?
Had I been stupid to think he cared?
Can't anyone really understand what's happening to me?
The list could go one forever..... for people with happy lives. My list ended there. That's all the why's that mattered at all.
I stood up and went into my suitcase ( i didn't want it to slide from underneath and picked it up. I went into the bathroom with a few fresh tears running down my face. I held it up and examined it. All I had to do was........ grip hard and slide it down. I hadn't been stopped because everyone except the driver (our manager) was asleep and he didn't hear me get up at all.
I took off the braclet that consealed the scars. I held the blade to my wrist and slowly slid it down about three inches. It hurt like hell, but felt so good. The crimson liquid was dripping onto the linoliem floor. It wasn't enough to be fatal but just enough to replace the emotioal pain with the physical. Enough to not care and numb the pain I'm feeling and my body
I put my arm underneath the water before the blood would become too much and slide down my arm, leaving a stain. I'd promised Jazz I wouldn't do this anymore.........but I had to. This time I had to do it just to make me forget about Frank and what he'd done to me. Well, I there I go thinking about him again. I'd gotten about five minutes of Free-From-Frank time, but now he was back in my head.
I put a couple bandaids on my new cut and put my braclet back on. I stepped out after I was sure the blood has stopped and layed back down on my bunk. I soon fell into a very unwelcomed dream.
Everything is falling apart!! I even had to say Zanda got a sudden case of food poisening and wasn't able to sing yesterday. Because of her "food poisening" I had to sing and I'm good but I'm not Z good.
We're rolling down the interstate right now, toward our next town. Ray's worried about Gerard killing Frank in his sleep, and I'm worried about Zanda and her broken heart. She knows that if Frank really does quit MCR, she'll probably never see him again. I wouldn't be able to handle that. She's a strong girl though.
Z's been a hermit the last three hours, strong girl or not. I can't blame her. She's "napping" in her bunk but I know she's crying, thinking then, squeezing out a few more tears beore she just stares at the bunk above her.
*Zanda's POV*
I stared at the bunk above me, Doing nothing but breath, really. Except think. Nope, We never stop thinking. I'd figured out the answer to my old question with the arrival of my new one.
Why?
Why-
Is Frank deserting me and his friends?
Can't ANYTHING in my life go as planned?
Had I been stupid to think he cared?
Can't anyone really understand what's happening to me?
The list could go one forever..... for people with happy lives. My list ended there. That's all the why's that mattered at all.
I stood up and went into my suitcase ( i didn't want it to slide from underneath and picked it up. I went into the bathroom with a few fresh tears running down my face. I held it up and examined it. All I had to do was........ grip hard and slide it down. I hadn't been stopped because everyone except the driver (our manager) was asleep and he didn't hear me get up at all.
I took off the braclet that consealed the scars. I held the blade to my wrist and slowly slid it down about three inches. It hurt like hell, but felt so good. The crimson liquid was dripping onto the linoliem floor. It wasn't enough to be fatal but just enough to replace the emotioal pain with the physical. Enough to not care and numb the pain I'm feeling and my body
I put my arm underneath the water before the blood would become too much and slide down my arm, leaving a stain. I'd promised Jazz I wouldn't do this anymore.........but I had to. This time I had to do it just to make me forget about Frank and what he'd done to me. Well, I there I go thinking about him again. I'd gotten about five minutes of Free-From-Frank time, but now he was back in my head.
I put a couple bandaids on my new cut and put my braclet back on. I stepped out after I was sure the blood has stopped and layed back down on my bunk. I soon fell into a very unwelcomed dream.