The Hardest Part Is Letting Go of Your Dreams
"Frank, You Had My Book This Morning."
* Zanda's POV *
Frank has his arm around me. Not in the bestfriends kind of way either; I was actually pulled aggainst him. Gerard was doing the same with Jayda right across from where Frank and I were sitting. What the fuck's the going on? I looked in front of me to Jayda, who looked back with her eyebrow arched-- one of her signs that she was confused and didn't want to show it. You probably already know we were content and happy with this whole cuddle on th couches thing, don't you? I was happy, but it was just Frank with his arm around me, nothing more. Anyway, he and Gerard are dating...
Jazz glanced at me confused. She didn't know about Frank and Gerard being together, but she sure as hell noticed Frank and I didn't talk as much and neither did Gerard and Jayda. So we go from not talking to getting as close together on the couch as humanly possible without melting into one... this is different.
But Gerard and Frank are together! We've had this discussion before! You can't have him!
Damn it! That bitch of a voice is back! I know I can't have him, but that doesn't mean I can't like this, does it?
I didn't know. I seriously didn't. I looked up at Frank, still confused. He looked back with a look that said, "Tell you later."
Okay... weird, but I could live with it. Jayda had apparently gotten the same look from Gerard because she shrugged her shoulders and read her book. I swear that girl reads more than I do and that's saying something.
"Frank, you had my book this morning," she said, looking at a page in the middle of the book.
"No I didn't," Frank had slightly tightened up at the accusation but I knew he was lying already.
"Don't lie, it can be deadly," she said looking at Frank with her peircing eyes. I almost laughed because I knew she was kidding but Frank sure as hell didn't. Jayda's not a weak person, you know. She's broad in the shoulders and not what you'd call "skinny" but not "fat" either. She's just broader than say, Jazz and I. Anyway, she's got some serious strength. she could easily pick up Mikey or Frank, or any of us girls.
"You had my book this morning," Jayda repeated like some psycho killer and Frank just got more tense. Jayda wasn't one to joke like this, usually it's sarcasm.
Jayda glanced toward a knife on the kitchen counter just as something clicked in Frank's head.
"You don't have any proof," Frank said, crossing his legs. Everyone else had stopped what they were doing to watch. Frank still had his am tightly aound me .
"Page 139 smells like..." she trailed off.
"SKITTLES!" everyone, even Frank screamed. God, we were laughing a lot today! I was pretty sure my mouth would stay in that smile I had at the moment.When everything died down, Frank and Gerard looked at eachother and I knew this was it.
"Yo, guys. Listen up," Gerard said. Everyone got even quieter and looked at him.
"Mikey, you're my brother and I love you. I love all you guys," he looked around at all of us and sort of lingered on Jayda. "But I broke my promise to you and you know how keeping promises is important to me." Gerard continued.
"And I broke mine as well," Frank admitted. What promise? Even in our dreams, Frank never told me about a promise to Mikey.
"You'll probably want to kill us or disown me, but we promised not to keep big secrets from this family and we broke that promise," Gerard continued. Everyone was confused for different reasons. Mikey looked worried as well and he glanced from Gerard to Jayda to Frank to me. Why would he look at me or Jayda?
"Gerard and I have... been dating without you guys knowing, making it a HUGE secret. Zanda and Jay know, but we wanted to tell you ourselves. But--" Frank was cut of by Gerard.
"But there's something else. We've both been thinking about two different people and realised that those two people are the right ones for us instead of eachother, so it just didn't work out. We're sorry, Mikey. We're sorry everyone." Gerard looked around at us again, hoping for someone to say something--anything.
Two people? Didn't work out? So... Frank and Gerard aren't dating? They don't seem saddened by it, just sorry that they broke this promise they'd made to Mikey.
"It's okay Gee," Mikey said, breaking the some what shocked silence. Both Gerard and Frank snapped their heads up from where they's both been looking at their hands.
"Yeah, as long as you've got everything worked out and everything's cool," Ray said.
"But it's not okay!" Frank persisted. "We broke our promise! You guys know how important promises are to all of us."
"Yes, I do, but that doesn't mean I'm supposed to be angry does it? You and Gerard have seperate lives than mine. I was having an emotional breakdown when you made that promise! I didn't know you guys actually took it to heart. Thanks," Mikey said. That boy's got some logic.
"You aren't mad? Any of you?" Gerard asked.
"No," we said, but at different times.
"You guys are the greatest friends a dude could ask for!" Frank said and started a group hug. Wow, we're sappy. Oh well, love can go that way sometimes.
"I thought you two'd gotten Jayda and Zanda pregnant!" Mikey said as he sat back down.
"FUCK NO!" Jayda and I, even Jazz yelled. What the fuck?
"It's an MCR thing, you wouldn't understand," Bob said.
"Whatever," Jayda and I chorused.
"And Gee?" Gerard turned a little to look at Mikey. "I'd NEVER want to disown you. You're the only brother I've got from the same mama and you're the best at too. Wow, that's corny! But it's true..." Mikey trailed off a bit.
"Thanks, man," Gerard said. I knew what Mikey meant when he said "brother from the same mama." We're all his siblings now, but Gee's his biological brother, you know? Yeah, you do.
We all continued whatever we we'd been doing before as if nothing had happened, but we were all thinking about it. Frank and Gerard's arms found thier original places on my and Jay's shoulders. We were the two people, me and Jayda. I felt sort of guilty for coming between them, but it was Gerard and Frank's decision, not mine. I was happy. Ever since tour started, I was perfectly content with everything. Tour.... ends..... TOMORROW?!?!?!? I'm NOT content with that!
Frank has his arm around me. Not in the bestfriends kind of way either; I was actually pulled aggainst him. Gerard was doing the same with Jayda right across from where Frank and I were sitting. What the fuck's the going on? I looked in front of me to Jayda, who looked back with her eyebrow arched-- one of her signs that she was confused and didn't want to show it. You probably already know we were content and happy with this whole cuddle on th couches thing, don't you? I was happy, but it was just Frank with his arm around me, nothing more. Anyway, he and Gerard are dating...
Jazz glanced at me confused. She didn't know about Frank and Gerard being together, but she sure as hell noticed Frank and I didn't talk as much and neither did Gerard and Jayda. So we go from not talking to getting as close together on the couch as humanly possible without melting into one... this is different.
But Gerard and Frank are together! We've had this discussion before! You can't have him!
Damn it! That bitch of a voice is back! I know I can't have him, but that doesn't mean I can't like this, does it?
I didn't know. I seriously didn't. I looked up at Frank, still confused. He looked back with a look that said, "Tell you later."
Okay... weird, but I could live with it. Jayda had apparently gotten the same look from Gerard because she shrugged her shoulders and read her book. I swear that girl reads more than I do and that's saying something.
"Frank, you had my book this morning," she said, looking at a page in the middle of the book.
"No I didn't," Frank had slightly tightened up at the accusation but I knew he was lying already.
"Don't lie, it can be deadly," she said looking at Frank with her peircing eyes. I almost laughed because I knew she was kidding but Frank sure as hell didn't. Jayda's not a weak person, you know. She's broad in the shoulders and not what you'd call "skinny" but not "fat" either. She's just broader than say, Jazz and I. Anyway, she's got some serious strength. she could easily pick up Mikey or Frank, or any of us girls.
"You had my book this morning," Jayda repeated like some psycho killer and Frank just got more tense. Jayda wasn't one to joke like this, usually it's sarcasm.
Jayda glanced toward a knife on the kitchen counter just as something clicked in Frank's head.
"You don't have any proof," Frank said, crossing his legs. Everyone else had stopped what they were doing to watch. Frank still had his am tightly aound me .
"Page 139 smells like..." she trailed off.
"SKITTLES!" everyone, even Frank screamed. God, we were laughing a lot today! I was pretty sure my mouth would stay in that smile I had at the moment.When everything died down, Frank and Gerard looked at eachother and I knew this was it.
"Yo, guys. Listen up," Gerard said. Everyone got even quieter and looked at him.
"Mikey, you're my brother and I love you. I love all you guys," he looked around at all of us and sort of lingered on Jayda. "But I broke my promise to you and you know how keeping promises is important to me." Gerard continued.
"And I broke mine as well," Frank admitted. What promise? Even in our dreams, Frank never told me about a promise to Mikey.
"You'll probably want to kill us or disown me, but we promised not to keep big secrets from this family and we broke that promise," Gerard continued. Everyone was confused for different reasons. Mikey looked worried as well and he glanced from Gerard to Jayda to Frank to me. Why would he look at me or Jayda?
"Gerard and I have... been dating without you guys knowing, making it a HUGE secret. Zanda and Jay know, but we wanted to tell you ourselves. But--" Frank was cut of by Gerard.
"But there's something else. We've both been thinking about two different people and realised that those two people are the right ones for us instead of eachother, so it just didn't work out. We're sorry, Mikey. We're sorry everyone." Gerard looked around at us again, hoping for someone to say something--anything.
Two people? Didn't work out? So... Frank and Gerard aren't dating? They don't seem saddened by it, just sorry that they broke this promise they'd made to Mikey.
"It's okay Gee," Mikey said, breaking the some what shocked silence. Both Gerard and Frank snapped their heads up from where they's both been looking at their hands.
"Yeah, as long as you've got everything worked out and everything's cool," Ray said.
"But it's not okay!" Frank persisted. "We broke our promise! You guys know how important promises are to all of us."
"Yes, I do, but that doesn't mean I'm supposed to be angry does it? You and Gerard have seperate lives than mine. I was having an emotional breakdown when you made that promise! I didn't know you guys actually took it to heart. Thanks," Mikey said. That boy's got some logic.
"You aren't mad? Any of you?" Gerard asked.
"No," we said, but at different times.
"You guys are the greatest friends a dude could ask for!" Frank said and started a group hug. Wow, we're sappy. Oh well, love can go that way sometimes.
"I thought you two'd gotten Jayda and Zanda pregnant!" Mikey said as he sat back down.
"FUCK NO!" Jayda and I, even Jazz yelled. What the fuck?
"It's an MCR thing, you wouldn't understand," Bob said.
"Whatever," Jayda and I chorused.
"And Gee?" Gerard turned a little to look at Mikey. "I'd NEVER want to disown you. You're the only brother I've got from the same mama and you're the best at too. Wow, that's corny! But it's true..." Mikey trailed off a bit.
"Thanks, man," Gerard said. I knew what Mikey meant when he said "brother from the same mama." We're all his siblings now, but Gee's his biological brother, you know? Yeah, you do.
We all continued whatever we we'd been doing before as if nothing had happened, but we were all thinking about it. Frank and Gerard's arms found thier original places on my and Jay's shoulders. We were the two people, me and Jayda. I felt sort of guilty for coming between them, but it was Gerard and Frank's decision, not mine. I was happy. Ever since tour started, I was perfectly content with everything. Tour.... ends..... TOMORROW?!?!?!? I'm NOT content with that!