The Hardest Part Is Letting Go of Your Dreams
Oakland
* Ray's POV *
Holy. Shit. Tour is over! We just played he hell out of the last show and everyone is sitting here on the bus, not relaxing but sitting quietly not talking or moving. Apparently I was the first to have it hit me. Everyone else just got hit by the fact that we are going to opposite sides of the country in eight hour's time. It's about 3:00pm now. We didn't stick around to watch the other bands play so we left and the Chemical-FX bus should be at the airport at 11:00pm so the girls can catch a flight home since they still don't have anything to drive in. The bus won't be moving again until 5:00pm so we only have two hours to spend together, but I'm sure as fuck not going to waste it sitting here. I'd rather take a walk with Jazz and everyone else.
"Get off your asses and let's take a walk," I commanded, standing up and pulling Jazz up with me. Everyone followed without saying anything. We're all "Go with the flow" kind of people.
We walked off the bus and Gerard started across the street but some guy in front of a crack house saw him and yelled, "YOU BETTER STAY ON THAT SIDE OF THE STREET, MOTHER FUCKER! I'LL KNOCK YOU OUT!" Gerard turned around and walked in the opposite direction and we followed without a word. I thought I was going to break Jazz's hand I was holding on so tightly. I didn't want to let her go.
Pretty soon we'd all gone in different directions. We knew when to be back at the bus without saying anything. I walked with Jazz, Frank with Zanda, Gerard with Jayda, and Bob, Mikey, Keel, and Tay were together last I saw them but they probably split up too. We walked through a park like we had that one day, except there were less old people around. We walked a while in silence. We didn't want to say goodbye.
I wanted to say, "Don't go back to Gold Beach. Come to Jersey with me." but that was selfish. Gold Beach was where she lived, not Jersey. I could move to Gold Beach with her, Mikey moved to Brooklyn, why can't I move to California? I can't just leave Jersey though. I'd miss it too much. I get offended when people make jokes about Jersey because it's where I come from. God, I'm almost as Jersey proud as Frank! I don't think I could ever leave it completely, no matter how much I love someone. I know that sounds bad, but it's true. I'd miss it too much.
We both stopped at the same time as if reading each other's minds. She hugged me, just randomly hugged me in the middle of the path. I hugged her back nice and tight. I think she was crying a little bit. That hurt me. I didn't want her to cry. I kissed the top of her head and hoped she'd stop. I think it worked a bit...
"I don't want to leave," came a muffled voice from my shoulder.
"Neither do I," I sort of whispered. Barely anyone else was in this park we were in.
We just stood there like that for a long time. I kissed her head a few more times and we sort of swayed. It was really cliche, but I didn't give a fuck. Without thinking, but defiantly meaning it I said:
"I love you."
* Frank's POV *
Everyone soon went their own ways. I walked with Zanda. I expected it to be awkward because it was obvious the two people were Zanda and Jayda and I knew they knew it. If it was with any other girl than Zanda, Jayda, or the other After FX girls, it would be awkward, but they are the most accepting people I know.
Anyway, we ended up leaning against the side of a bridge in a park, imagine that, looking our at the small river. We've got a thing for bridges in small parks, I guess. At least a sign said it was Rosary Park, but it just looked like a bridge leading to a walking trail to me.
I felt something slither between my loosely clasped hands in front of me. I looked down and saw Zanda's hand in both of mine. I looked at her and she smiled. I couldn't help but smile back. I'd fucked up Warped Tour so much it's indescribable how relieved I was that everything was alright. (I know I just described it by saying it's indescribable, but you get it) I knew it was okay from Zanda's smile.
"Thank you."
"I'm sorry," we said at the same time.
"Thank me?"
"Sorry?" Again, we spoke at the same time.
"You first," I said before she could.
"Sorry? What do you have to be sorry for?"
"For fucking up Warped Tour so much for everyone," I said. I looked at her and she was confused for the thousandth time these last two months and as usual, because of me.
"You didn't fuck anything up for anybody!" she said.
"Sure," I said sarcastically. "Because being in love with Gerard for the past six years, then dreaming of, meeting, and falling in love with you, but then going out with Gerard behind the whole bus's back isn't fucked up for everyone?" Sarcasm was plaguing me. Wait. Did I just say what I think I said?
"You..... loved me?" Zanda had let go of my hands and had turned to face me. Yup. I said what I think I said.
"No. I never stopped," I barley whispered after a pause. "That's how I fucked everything up. I loved two people at the same time and couldn't decide. That's why I almost left and that's why I stayed." I couldn't stop talking. "I almost left because I couldn't stand not having Gerard and I stayed because I couldn't bare to see you so tore up. When I announced I was leaving, I didn't know you cared so much about what I did or where I went." I finally shut up. She was looking at her shoes. Had I made her sad? The last thing I wanted was for her to be sad.
For the second time, Zanda ended up pouncing on me on top of a bridge in some small park in a town that I didn't know the name of. For the second time, I kissed her back on top of a bridge in a small park in some town that I didn't know the name of.
*Gerard's POV (God, there are a lot of POV changes!)*
Jayda and I walked together to a small coffee shop. Mumbles and Squeaks Cafe. Do NOT ask me why they named it that, I don't get it either. We walked to the counter and got our coffee and sat down. We just sat there, looking out the window of this town that was nameless to me. It was really small though, they even had farmland here.
"Ever been to Gold Beach?" I asked her. She'd said she'd been all over California, drifting through.
"One place I didn't get to hit when I was in Cali last year," she said, sipping her coffee again. She likes coffee almost as much as Mikey and I do. Combined.
"I've never been there either," I said. I thought this was going to be awkward because I knew she knew she was the person I'd found out was the right one instead of Frank. But Jayda and the girls are accepting of almost anything. We finished our coffee and walked out onto the almost deserted streets of..... insert correct Town name here. There are a lot of oak trees around here though. Jayda was looking for birds in them, like she had the night we met.
"It's a really pretty town," she said. I realized we were holding hands, but I don't know how we ended up that way. We just kept walking.
"Yeah it is. It's really country."
"I used to live in the country," she said.
"I didn't know that." There was a lot I didn't know about her that I wanted to know, and so much I already know. But she's flying to California with After FX. Tonight.
"I know you didn't. I lived in Maryland, where we are now, in a place called Oakland. Where we are now."
"You grew up here?!? In this town?" I asked. We'd just pulled over to look around after driving for about two hours from Pittsburgh where our last show was. "How'd we end up here? Maryland's south of Pennsylvania, we were supposed to go north to Jersey, then you'd fly to Cali from there."
"I told the driver to come south instead. I wanted to come back here. I'm really sorry! I just really wanted to come back here." She looked worried, like I'd get angry or something. Actually, I was relieved; she'd delayed her leaving.
"Won't you miss your flight?" Please miss your flight, please miss your flight.
"No." Damn. "David said the plane was delayed and would be at the airport at one in the morning. We have time. Oakland's not that big, we can look at almost everything in two hours. Come on."
We turned left and I saw some trail tracks across the road. We went over those and into- get this- the town parking lot. Not everyone who lived in Oakland parked there, Jayda explained. They were just the people who worked in town and weren't allowed to block the streets. They had to leave the parking spaces open so the civilians could have them. Oakland must have grown and not changed if they ran out of parking spaces.
We walked along the road, onto a bridge with cars rolling over it, over the train tracks. There was another bridge to my right, spreading across a small river. I could see Frank and Zanda there, holding hands and I glanced down at my and Jayda's hands. Entwined, the way I like it. The noise of the cars beside me brought me back to reality. We reached the end of the bridge and walked along the road, around some turns and found some houses.The one that we walked to was tan and brown.
"Is this your house?"
"It used to be," she said. "I moved out when I was sixteen. Went to collage, graduated and never came back. My mom died when I was eighteen and my dad was a wife beater. I don't know or care if he's dead or not or where he is. No one lives here now," Jayda explained, pulling me around the right side of her old house.
"So we're trespassing on state property? Lovely. What are you doing? Trespassing one thing but breaking and centering's another," I said. She had climbed up on an extended ledge at the foot of the house and was pushing a window open.
"Relax. This was my room. The house is actually mine now but I don't have enough money to maintain it. I'm not breaking, I'm opening and I'm entering because I can. And I say you can too. We aren't trespassing either. Come ON!" she yelled at the window and it went up as if on her command. She climbed through and I followed.
The walls were lime green, but had stuff everywhere on them. Mostly paper with sayings and lyrics written on them in Sharpie. The ceiling was insane though. Posters, pictures, sayings, lyrics, random objects, the whole thing was covered! There was even a butter knife beside a picture of The Twisted Sisters. I hopped of the bed which was conveniently under the window and continued to stare at her ceiling with my mouth wide open.
"Lay down and stare or you'll hurt your neck," Jayda said, jumping and landing on her bed, faced up to her collage. I didn't want to try the whole jump-spin-and-land-without-breaking-your-neck-trick so I just layed down beside her. It looked even better from here.
"How did you do this?" I asked.
"With a LOT of tape. Glue would ruin the ceiling. This is my favorite part of my room."
"You a Green Day fan or what?" She had just about half her ceiling dedicated to Billie Joe Armstrong, Mike Dirnt, and Tre` Cool with other things scattered in between.
"Green Day are amazing. NEVER question that," she said, poking me in the arm to emphasize her point.
"I swear to never question, always love, and respect Billie Joe, Mike, and Tre`," I said with my right hand held up as if swearing on the Bible. "Happy?"
"Very," she replied.
"I used to have guitar like Billie Joe had. I used it to write Skylines and Turnstiles."
"You had a guitar like Blue?" she asked, turning on her side to face me.
"Yeah." I turned on my side as well. "The only reason I had it was because Billie had one like it. Pathetic, huh?"
"No. I have an acoustic guitar with stickers on it just like Billie's got some where in this house. Anyway, you might not have written your first real song if Billie's dad never gave him Blue."
"True."
We were quiet, looking at everything above us.
"I don't wanna go to California," Jayda said out of nowhere.
"Then don't go." I didn't know where that came from, but I wasn't taking it back. "Come to Jersey with me. You can live there."
"With your parents?"
"You can have Mikey's old room. He lives in Brooklyn," I really wanted her to come to Jersey with me.
"No, I can't. I need to go to Gold Beach. There's a job waiting there for me and people to see and a good home. Anyway, there's a much higher risk of me getting shot in Jersey because I like walking around at night."
"But you can find a job in Jersey! My parents are cool. Anyway, I'm moving to Oregon in two months, you know that." Please say you'll come to Jersey.
"Gerard, I can't. New Jersey isn't my place. After I get enough money together and things straightened out, I'm moving back here, selling this house and buying the one where I spent the first seven years of my life, over in the farmland of Oakland."
There's nothing I can do. She's stubborn and I can tell she loves it here more than any place else and she wants to go to Gold Beach so she can live here.
"Fine. But I'm going to miss you too much," I said. My hand had somehow found a resting place on her upper hip. Why the hell won't my brain tell me my hands are doing these things? Fucking brain.
"I'll miss you too,"she said and I kissed her. I don't know where it came from, but I want to visit that place more often. She kissed me back. That's a plus and I wasn't getting slapped, another plus.
We broke apart. Silence. We just looked at each other like, "Did we just kiss?" but it wasn't a bad sort of look, it was as if we were trying to silently make sure we weren't dreaming.
"So," I said breaking the silence and establishing that I was in fact conscious. "Show me the rest of your house."
* Ray's POV *
After Jazz had calmed down, we walked around this park thing. Some weird sign said it was Rosary Park but it just looked like a walking track that went through some woods. It was beautiful. It was dark and shady and just completely cozy. Oakland was a great place.
"Come on, we better find everyone else," I said and squeezed her hand.
We called everyone and asked where they were. Turns out Jayda grew up here and made the driver go south instead of north, that we were in Oakland, Maryland, not Pennsylvania or whatever. She told us we were right by her old house and about three minute's walking distance from Frank and Zanda and that Rosary Park wasn't a park, just some section of Oakland they decided to name Rosary Park. She told us to wait there and she and Gerard would be there as soon as Gerard stopped begging her to make him spaghetti. That boy loves his Italian food.
"No, Gerard! The spaghetti's at least eight years old! And the stove would probably blow up!"
We decided to go to Mumbles and Squeaks Cafe` and get some coffee before going over to Wal Mart, the only real store around and having a small shopping spree. Yeah, I know I'm a guy but I don't mind shopping.
Mikey, Bob, Keel, and Tay were already at Wal Mart so when Jayda and Gerard came walking toward us we only had to walk a short distance on the path to a bridge and get Frank and Zanda. Then we went and got our coffee, Gerard and Jay already had some so they just waited for us.
Wal Mart was fun. We were being complete basket cases, running through the isles, cart jousting (Gerard cut his finger somehow and made Jayda kiss it), and just being friends.
We all ended up buying stupid random gifts for each other. We exchanged them while sitting on the swings in the gardening place. I bought Jazz a ceramic flower pot with some girly cats on it. She hates girly things, but they were stupid random gifts like I said. I got a kiss for it anyway, so I'm happy. I got Zanda, Keel, Tay, and Jayda a bunch of fake make up and a Barbie for each of them. They'll probably burn them or rip off their heads when they go back to Cali.
Jazz got me, Mikey, and Frank girl's necklaces. Mine had a red guitar with "Friends", Frank's was pink with "Best", and Mikey's Guitar (which could easily pass for a bass) was blue with "Forever" on it. So when they were put together correctly they said, "Best Friends Forever." Frank was excited that he got the pink one. It would match his tiara and choker perfectly. Gerard got a Dora bed canopy and sheet set and Bob got some printer ink from Jazz.
Zanda gave Frank a chew toy, one that squeaked, me a book called Killing Dreams and told me to read more. She gave Gee a embroidered pillow that said, "Sweet Dreams" to which he replied:
"Yeah, I'll just dream I never got this retarded pillow!" which made us laugh as he gave Zanda a hug. I got a can of Fix-A-Flat, Mikey got a plastic number card Zanda said she stole from a price sign when she was picking up Bob's training bra. IThe bra had little cats on it.
Tay got us dental floss. Bob, Gerard, and Frank got spearmint and Mikey and I got peppermint.
Keel got Mikey some cat food, which he'll probably feed his cat, Bunny.
She got me, and Bob a bunch of toilet paper and Frank and Gerard a box of tampons each.
"If you aren't going to tell us you're bi, then you must suffer." She got out a roll of duct tape and motioned Gerard and Frank over to her. They looked at each other and slowly walked toward her. Jayda and Zanda jumped on Gerard and Frank and held them down while Keel ducted taped a tampon to each of their faces. Gerard's ended up on his forehead and Frank's on his cheek. She took a Sharpie and just managed to legibly write:
"Never keep secrets from your friends."
on their faces somewhere. Since Gerard's used to it, he got his on his neck and Frank got his on his chin. We were all laughing. Frank and Gerard were desperately trying to get free but Zanda and Jayda, especially Jayda, are strong girls.
Then for the finishing touch, Tay brought a little bottle of super glue over and secured the tampons down with a few little dabs here and there and dangled a bottle of nail polish remover in front of Frank and Gerard. You should have seen the people around us! Standing there, staring at us, jaws on the floor. I waved to a few of them and they still stood there, looking at the commotion.
This was hilarious! Better than blueberry muffins, I can tell you that! The girls were just having fun but Gerard and Frank weren't feeling the hilarity. They had duct tape over their mouths and it was pretty funny seeing Gerard not able to say something for once.
After Gerard and Frank accepted defeat and sat down-- tampons intact --we finished our gift exchange.
Zanda got:
Barbies and fake make up from me.
A Hannah Montana poster from Bob.
A cardboard box, stolen by Frank from an employee's cart.
A man thong from Gerard
AND....
A soap dish from Mikey while he laughed at his brother for giving Zanda a man thong with a tampon glued to his forehead and literally not able to say anything about it.
Tay got:
Barbies and fake make up from me.
A hunk of Styrofoam from Gerard
Tube socks from Frank
Rubber duck from Mikey.
AND....
A rubber band from Bob.
Jazz got:
Flower pot from me.
A Jolly Rancher that was stuck to the floor from Frank.
An old lady Bob asked to come over and adopt her (she didn't get to keep that one).
A pencil eraser from Mikey.
AND....
a shoelace from Gerard.
Keel got:
Barbies and fake make up from me.
Flipped off by Gerard.
Flipped off by Frank.
A raisin from Bob.
AND....
A rose from Mikey. (Aw.)
Jayda got:
Flipped off by Gerard who actually got a kiss on the cheek for it.
Slippers from Bob.
A black button from Mikey.
The High School Musical soundtrack from me
AND.....
A light bulb from Frank.
We left Wal Mart and went back to the bus which was now parked in.... the town parking lot! I don't see how it found enough parking spaces to park correctly though. We hopped on and headed north to New Jersey, home, and the airport.
Holy. Shit. Tour is over! We just played he hell out of the last show and everyone is sitting here on the bus, not relaxing but sitting quietly not talking or moving. Apparently I was the first to have it hit me. Everyone else just got hit by the fact that we are going to opposite sides of the country in eight hour's time. It's about 3:00pm now. We didn't stick around to watch the other bands play so we left and the Chemical-FX bus should be at the airport at 11:00pm so the girls can catch a flight home since they still don't have anything to drive in. The bus won't be moving again until 5:00pm so we only have two hours to spend together, but I'm sure as fuck not going to waste it sitting here. I'd rather take a walk with Jazz and everyone else.
"Get off your asses and let's take a walk," I commanded, standing up and pulling Jazz up with me. Everyone followed without saying anything. We're all "Go with the flow" kind of people.
We walked off the bus and Gerard started across the street but some guy in front of a crack house saw him and yelled, "YOU BETTER STAY ON THAT SIDE OF THE STREET, MOTHER FUCKER! I'LL KNOCK YOU OUT!" Gerard turned around and walked in the opposite direction and we followed without a word. I thought I was going to break Jazz's hand I was holding on so tightly. I didn't want to let her go.
Pretty soon we'd all gone in different directions. We knew when to be back at the bus without saying anything. I walked with Jazz, Frank with Zanda, Gerard with Jayda, and Bob, Mikey, Keel, and Tay were together last I saw them but they probably split up too. We walked through a park like we had that one day, except there were less old people around. We walked a while in silence. We didn't want to say goodbye.
I wanted to say, "Don't go back to Gold Beach. Come to Jersey with me." but that was selfish. Gold Beach was where she lived, not Jersey. I could move to Gold Beach with her, Mikey moved to Brooklyn, why can't I move to California? I can't just leave Jersey though. I'd miss it too much. I get offended when people make jokes about Jersey because it's where I come from. God, I'm almost as Jersey proud as Frank! I don't think I could ever leave it completely, no matter how much I love someone. I know that sounds bad, but it's true. I'd miss it too much.
We both stopped at the same time as if reading each other's minds. She hugged me, just randomly hugged me in the middle of the path. I hugged her back nice and tight. I think she was crying a little bit. That hurt me. I didn't want her to cry. I kissed the top of her head and hoped she'd stop. I think it worked a bit...
"I don't want to leave," came a muffled voice from my shoulder.
"Neither do I," I sort of whispered. Barely anyone else was in this park we were in.
We just stood there like that for a long time. I kissed her head a few more times and we sort of swayed. It was really cliche, but I didn't give a fuck. Without thinking, but defiantly meaning it I said:
"I love you."
* Frank's POV *
Everyone soon went their own ways. I walked with Zanda. I expected it to be awkward because it was obvious the two people were Zanda and Jayda and I knew they knew it. If it was with any other girl than Zanda, Jayda, or the other After FX girls, it would be awkward, but they are the most accepting people I know.
Anyway, we ended up leaning against the side of a bridge in a park, imagine that, looking our at the small river. We've got a thing for bridges in small parks, I guess. At least a sign said it was Rosary Park, but it just looked like a bridge leading to a walking trail to me.
I felt something slither between my loosely clasped hands in front of me. I looked down and saw Zanda's hand in both of mine. I looked at her and she smiled. I couldn't help but smile back. I'd fucked up Warped Tour so much it's indescribable how relieved I was that everything was alright. (I know I just described it by saying it's indescribable, but you get it) I knew it was okay from Zanda's smile.
"Thank you."
"I'm sorry," we said at the same time.
"Thank me?"
"Sorry?" Again, we spoke at the same time.
"You first," I said before she could.
"Sorry? What do you have to be sorry for?"
"For fucking up Warped Tour so much for everyone," I said. I looked at her and she was confused for the thousandth time these last two months and as usual, because of me.
"You didn't fuck anything up for anybody!" she said.
"Sure," I said sarcastically. "Because being in love with Gerard for the past six years, then dreaming of, meeting, and falling in love with you, but then going out with Gerard behind the whole bus's back isn't fucked up for everyone?" Sarcasm was plaguing me. Wait. Did I just say what I think I said?
"You..... loved me?" Zanda had let go of my hands and had turned to face me. Yup. I said what I think I said.
"No. I never stopped," I barley whispered after a pause. "That's how I fucked everything up. I loved two people at the same time and couldn't decide. That's why I almost left and that's why I stayed." I couldn't stop talking. "I almost left because I couldn't stand not having Gerard and I stayed because I couldn't bare to see you so tore up. When I announced I was leaving, I didn't know you cared so much about what I did or where I went." I finally shut up. She was looking at her shoes. Had I made her sad? The last thing I wanted was for her to be sad.
For the second time, Zanda ended up pouncing on me on top of a bridge in some small park in a town that I didn't know the name of. For the second time, I kissed her back on top of a bridge in a small park in some town that I didn't know the name of.
*Gerard's POV (God, there are a lot of POV changes!)*
Jayda and I walked together to a small coffee shop. Mumbles and Squeaks Cafe. Do NOT ask me why they named it that, I don't get it either. We walked to the counter and got our coffee and sat down. We just sat there, looking out the window of this town that was nameless to me. It was really small though, they even had farmland here.
"Ever been to Gold Beach?" I asked her. She'd said she'd been all over California, drifting through.
"One place I didn't get to hit when I was in Cali last year," she said, sipping her coffee again. She likes coffee almost as much as Mikey and I do. Combined.
"I've never been there either," I said. I thought this was going to be awkward because I knew she knew she was the person I'd found out was the right one instead of Frank. But Jayda and the girls are accepting of almost anything. We finished our coffee and walked out onto the almost deserted streets of..... insert correct Town name here. There are a lot of oak trees around here though. Jayda was looking for birds in them, like she had the night we met.
"It's a really pretty town," she said. I realized we were holding hands, but I don't know how we ended up that way. We just kept walking.
"Yeah it is. It's really country."
"I used to live in the country," she said.
"I didn't know that." There was a lot I didn't know about her that I wanted to know, and so much I already know. But she's flying to California with After FX. Tonight.
"I know you didn't. I lived in Maryland, where we are now, in a place called Oakland. Where we are now."
"You grew up here?!? In this town?" I asked. We'd just pulled over to look around after driving for about two hours from Pittsburgh where our last show was. "How'd we end up here? Maryland's south of Pennsylvania, we were supposed to go north to Jersey, then you'd fly to Cali from there."
"I told the driver to come south instead. I wanted to come back here. I'm really sorry! I just really wanted to come back here." She looked worried, like I'd get angry or something. Actually, I was relieved; she'd delayed her leaving.
"Won't you miss your flight?" Please miss your flight, please miss your flight.
"No." Damn. "David said the plane was delayed and would be at the airport at one in the morning. We have time. Oakland's not that big, we can look at almost everything in two hours. Come on."
We turned left and I saw some trail tracks across the road. We went over those and into- get this- the town parking lot. Not everyone who lived in Oakland parked there, Jayda explained. They were just the people who worked in town and weren't allowed to block the streets. They had to leave the parking spaces open so the civilians could have them. Oakland must have grown and not changed if they ran out of parking spaces.
We walked along the road, onto a bridge with cars rolling over it, over the train tracks. There was another bridge to my right, spreading across a small river. I could see Frank and Zanda there, holding hands and I glanced down at my and Jayda's hands. Entwined, the way I like it. The noise of the cars beside me brought me back to reality. We reached the end of the bridge and walked along the road, around some turns and found some houses.The one that we walked to was tan and brown.
"Is this your house?"
"It used to be," she said. "I moved out when I was sixteen. Went to collage, graduated and never came back. My mom died when I was eighteen and my dad was a wife beater. I don't know or care if he's dead or not or where he is. No one lives here now," Jayda explained, pulling me around the right side of her old house.
"So we're trespassing on state property? Lovely. What are you doing? Trespassing one thing but breaking and centering's another," I said. She had climbed up on an extended ledge at the foot of the house and was pushing a window open.
"Relax. This was my room. The house is actually mine now but I don't have enough money to maintain it. I'm not breaking, I'm opening and I'm entering because I can. And I say you can too. We aren't trespassing either. Come ON!" she yelled at the window and it went up as if on her command. She climbed through and I followed.
The walls were lime green, but had stuff everywhere on them. Mostly paper with sayings and lyrics written on them in Sharpie. The ceiling was insane though. Posters, pictures, sayings, lyrics, random objects, the whole thing was covered! There was even a butter knife beside a picture of The Twisted Sisters. I hopped of the bed which was conveniently under the window and continued to stare at her ceiling with my mouth wide open.
"Lay down and stare or you'll hurt your neck," Jayda said, jumping and landing on her bed, faced up to her collage. I didn't want to try the whole jump-spin-and-land-without-breaking-your-neck-trick so I just layed down beside her. It looked even better from here.
"How did you do this?" I asked.
"With a LOT of tape. Glue would ruin the ceiling. This is my favorite part of my room."
"You a Green Day fan or what?" She had just about half her ceiling dedicated to Billie Joe Armstrong, Mike Dirnt, and Tre` Cool with other things scattered in between.
"Green Day are amazing. NEVER question that," she said, poking me in the arm to emphasize her point.
"I swear to never question, always love, and respect Billie Joe, Mike, and Tre`," I said with my right hand held up as if swearing on the Bible. "Happy?"
"Very," she replied.
"I used to have guitar like Billie Joe had. I used it to write Skylines and Turnstiles."
"You had a guitar like Blue?" she asked, turning on her side to face me.
"Yeah." I turned on my side as well. "The only reason I had it was because Billie had one like it. Pathetic, huh?"
"No. I have an acoustic guitar with stickers on it just like Billie's got some where in this house. Anyway, you might not have written your first real song if Billie's dad never gave him Blue."
"True."
We were quiet, looking at everything above us.
"I don't wanna go to California," Jayda said out of nowhere.
"Then don't go." I didn't know where that came from, but I wasn't taking it back. "Come to Jersey with me. You can live there."
"With your parents?"
"You can have Mikey's old room. He lives in Brooklyn," I really wanted her to come to Jersey with me.
"No, I can't. I need to go to Gold Beach. There's a job waiting there for me and people to see and a good home. Anyway, there's a much higher risk of me getting shot in Jersey because I like walking around at night."
"But you can find a job in Jersey! My parents are cool. Anyway, I'm moving to Oregon in two months, you know that." Please say you'll come to Jersey.
"Gerard, I can't. New Jersey isn't my place. After I get enough money together and things straightened out, I'm moving back here, selling this house and buying the one where I spent the first seven years of my life, over in the farmland of Oakland."
There's nothing I can do. She's stubborn and I can tell she loves it here more than any place else and she wants to go to Gold Beach so she can live here.
"Fine. But I'm going to miss you too much," I said. My hand had somehow found a resting place on her upper hip. Why the hell won't my brain tell me my hands are doing these things? Fucking brain.
"I'll miss you too,"she said and I kissed her. I don't know where it came from, but I want to visit that place more often. She kissed me back. That's a plus and I wasn't getting slapped, another plus.
We broke apart. Silence. We just looked at each other like, "Did we just kiss?" but it wasn't a bad sort of look, it was as if we were trying to silently make sure we weren't dreaming.
"So," I said breaking the silence and establishing that I was in fact conscious. "Show me the rest of your house."
* Ray's POV *
After Jazz had calmed down, we walked around this park thing. Some weird sign said it was Rosary Park but it just looked like a walking track that went through some woods. It was beautiful. It was dark and shady and just completely cozy. Oakland was a great place.
"Come on, we better find everyone else," I said and squeezed her hand.
We called everyone and asked where they were. Turns out Jayda grew up here and made the driver go south instead of north, that we were in Oakland, Maryland, not Pennsylvania or whatever. She told us we were right by her old house and about three minute's walking distance from Frank and Zanda and that Rosary Park wasn't a park, just some section of Oakland they decided to name Rosary Park. She told us to wait there and she and Gerard would be there as soon as Gerard stopped begging her to make him spaghetti. That boy loves his Italian food.
"No, Gerard! The spaghetti's at least eight years old! And the stove would probably blow up!"
We decided to go to Mumbles and Squeaks Cafe` and get some coffee before going over to Wal Mart, the only real store around and having a small shopping spree. Yeah, I know I'm a guy but I don't mind shopping.
Mikey, Bob, Keel, and Tay were already at Wal Mart so when Jayda and Gerard came walking toward us we only had to walk a short distance on the path to a bridge and get Frank and Zanda. Then we went and got our coffee, Gerard and Jay already had some so they just waited for us.
Wal Mart was fun. We were being complete basket cases, running through the isles, cart jousting (Gerard cut his finger somehow and made Jayda kiss it), and just being friends.
We all ended up buying stupid random gifts for each other. We exchanged them while sitting on the swings in the gardening place. I bought Jazz a ceramic flower pot with some girly cats on it. She hates girly things, but they were stupid random gifts like I said. I got a kiss for it anyway, so I'm happy. I got Zanda, Keel, Tay, and Jayda a bunch of fake make up and a Barbie for each of them. They'll probably burn them or rip off their heads when they go back to Cali.
Jazz got me, Mikey, and Frank girl's necklaces. Mine had a red guitar with "Friends", Frank's was pink with "Best", and Mikey's Guitar (which could easily pass for a bass) was blue with "Forever" on it. So when they were put together correctly they said, "Best Friends Forever." Frank was excited that he got the pink one. It would match his tiara and choker perfectly. Gerard got a Dora bed canopy and sheet set and Bob got some printer ink from Jazz.
Zanda gave Frank a chew toy, one that squeaked, me a book called Killing Dreams and told me to read more. She gave Gee a embroidered pillow that said, "Sweet Dreams" to which he replied:
"Yeah, I'll just dream I never got this retarded pillow!" which made us laugh as he gave Zanda a hug. I got a can of Fix-A-Flat, Mikey got a plastic number card Zanda said she stole from a price sign when she was picking up Bob's training bra. IThe bra had little cats on it.
Tay got us dental floss. Bob, Gerard, and Frank got spearmint and Mikey and I got peppermint.
Keel got Mikey some cat food, which he'll probably feed his cat, Bunny.
She got me, and Bob a bunch of toilet paper and Frank and Gerard a box of tampons each."If you aren't going to tell us you're bi, then you must suffer." She got out a roll of duct tape and motioned Gerard and Frank over to her. They looked at each other and slowly walked toward her. Jayda and Zanda jumped on Gerard and Frank and held them down while Keel ducted taped a tampon to each of their faces. Gerard's ended up on his forehead and Frank's on his cheek. She took a Sharpie and just managed to legibly write:
"Never keep secrets from your friends."
on their faces somewhere. Since Gerard's used to it, he got his on his neck and Frank got his on his chin. We were all laughing. Frank and Gerard were desperately trying to get free but Zanda and Jayda, especially Jayda, are strong girls.
Then for the finishing touch, Tay brought a little bottle of super glue over and secured the tampons down with a few little dabs here and there and dangled a bottle of nail polish remover in front of Frank and Gerard. You should have seen the people around us! Standing there, staring at us, jaws on the floor. I waved to a few of them and they still stood there, looking at the commotion.
This was hilarious! Better than blueberry muffins, I can tell you that! The girls were just having fun but Gerard and Frank weren't feeling the hilarity. They had duct tape over their mouths and it was pretty funny seeing Gerard not able to say something for once.
After Gerard and Frank accepted defeat and sat down-- tampons intact --we finished our gift exchange.
Zanda got:
Barbies and fake make up from me.
A Hannah Montana poster from Bob.
A cardboard box, stolen by Frank from an employee's cart.
A man thong from Gerard
AND....
A soap dish from Mikey while he laughed at his brother for giving Zanda a man thong with a tampon glued to his forehead and literally not able to say anything about it.
Tay got:
Barbies and fake make up from me.
A hunk of Styrofoam from Gerard
Tube socks from Frank
Rubber duck from Mikey.
AND....
A rubber band from Bob.
Jazz got:
Flower pot from me.
A Jolly Rancher that was stuck to the floor from Frank.
An old lady Bob asked to come over and adopt her (she didn't get to keep that one).
A pencil eraser from Mikey.
AND....
a shoelace from Gerard.
Keel got:
Barbies and fake make up from me.
Flipped off by Gerard.
Flipped off by Frank.
A raisin from Bob.
AND....
A rose from Mikey. (Aw.)
Jayda got:
Flipped off by Gerard who actually got a kiss on the cheek for it.
Slippers from Bob.
A black button from Mikey.
The High School Musical soundtrack from me
AND.....
A light bulb from Frank.
We left Wal Mart and went back to the bus which was now parked in.... the town parking lot! I don't see how it found enough parking spaces to park correctly though. We hopped on and headed north to New Jersey, home, and the airport.