The Hardest Part Is Letting Go of Your Dreams

* Mikey's POV *
We are going home. Holy God, we're going back to Jersey! Gerard and Frank and Ray won't stray three feet from Jayda, Zanda, or Jazz. It's sort of funny, but also really heartbreaking. For them of course. I don't want to leave any of the girls, especially Keel. She's become like my bestfriends. So has Tay. All of them have.

Gerard and Jayda FINALLY came to their senses and realized that they are supposed to be together! But they're both going to different ends of the country. This bus feels relly roomy because no one's up and moving around. Big Brother, Ray, and Frank are all sitting somewhere with Jay, Jazz, and Zanda and I'm in the living room thing with Keel, Tay, and Bob. Quiet.

I feel happy for some reason. I have no clue why. I'm estatic about Jersey but then the girls will have to go and that's no reason to be happy. Fucking bipolar! It always gives me the wrong emotions at the wrong moments. But now I'm esatic and giggly. Ugh. Hee hee, DAMN IT!

Anyway, I'm sitting here trying not to smile.... nope. Nevermind. It's gone. Anyway, we're about fifteen minutes from the airport and the plane will lift off in another twenty. Thirty-five minutes until I loose five of my best friends until we can some how magically come up with enough money for five round trip tickets to California, hotel rooms, and food and stuff. We might have just played Warped Tour but we still don't have too much money.

Five more minutes and we'll be there...

"I swear the world hates me...," I heard. It sounded like Frank. He was over in the kitchen with Zanda and they'd been mumbling together for a while, but this mumble I heard. I got up.

"No it doesn't."

They both turned to look at me standing behind them. I was talking quietly so no one else would hear. It's hard getting some privacy on a tour bus with nine other people.

"You were listening?" Zanda asked but she wasn't angry. I shook my head.

"No. I just heard what Frank just said." I sat down. "The world doesn't hate you. Trust me, I know how it feels to really believe it does. But it doesn't. We're part of the world, aren't we? We don't hate you."

"I know that. I mean why is the world making my life miserable all of a sudden?" He glanced at Zanda and I knew what he meant. I actually laughed this time and it wasn't bipolar.

"Ha, ha. That's not the world, that's reality dude."

"True," he agreed.

"So the world doesn't hate you?" Zanda asked, turning to Frank.

"No, the world doesn't hate me. Reality does," he said turning towards her.

"Reality hates everyone most of the time. Get used to it," I said.

"Yeah... I know," Frank said again. "Thanks Mikey. You really are the spiritual advisor."

"Yeah... I know." I got up and went back to my bunk, but I didn't lay down because the bus had started slowing down. We're here.

* Ray's POV *
Oh my God, no. No. No. No. No. No. NO! Okay, deal with it, Toro. We arrived at the air port and I really, REALLY wish we hadn't. Being back in Jersey's got that amazing sense of home, but the airport doesn't.

I stood up from my bunk and woke up Jazz who'd been laying with me.

"Come on. Wake up, babe. We're here. You gotta go catch your flight," I said as I shook her shoulder.

She lightly opened her eyes to me. She wasn't grumpy for once, just... waking up. She stood up next to me, still in her clothes for that day and gave me a kiss. God, I'm going to miss her soft kisses. Her lips on mine, her hand free for me to hold. Damn.

She walked over to her bunk which had her suitcases on it and heaved them to the floor. Before she could pick them up again, I grabbed them and took them into the living room. Zanda and Jayda already had their suitcases out there and Keel and Tay were back in the bunk area getting theirs with Mikey and Bob's help because neither me, Frank, or Gerard wanted to go three feet from Jazz, Zanda, or Jay.

The guys all carried the girls' suitcases, even though they said we didn't have to or, "Here let me take them." No. We'll carry them for you.

So we walked into the airport and over to the counter to do all that stuff the author can't describe because she's never been in an airport. No lie, she hasn't.

So we do all that stuff and then we're just standing there at group of chairs. Then Jazz grabs my hand and takes me a few feet away from the others and starts talking to me.

"I'm going to miss you so much, Ray." No, not goodbye... I hate goodbye.

"I know. I'm going to miss you too..." I trailed off. I hate this.

I could tell the others had seperated and were saying the same kind of things and I knew they hated it too. You can always tell what your family's feeling.

Jazz gave me a long kiss and then we all came back together and hugged eachother. I even ended up hugging Gerard because it was really confusing. I told everyone I loved them and that I'd miss them.

Then I was hugging Jazz again. I didn't want to let go, but I had to. The airport people called their flight. Right before she let go of me and walked off to board, Jazz whispered:

"I love you too."

Then she turned away, grabbed her suitcases and waited for the other girls. Tay and Keel gave last minutes hugs to Mikey and Bob and Jayda and Zanda unlocked their lips from Gerard and Frank and they walked away. We stood by the window after the intercom said the plane was taking off and watched them go.

Then we went back to Belleville to Gerard and Mikey's parents' house. Mr. and Mrs. Way are always really nice and fed us. Remember that we are guys who just got done touring on a bus with girls, They'd make us use our manners when we ate so we probably looked like angels to Gerard and Mikey's parents. Gerard and Mikey ALWAYS had to use EXTREME manners around their parents. I mean, don't get me wrong, Frank, Bob, and I were taught manners by our parents but we just know Don and Donna so well we sort of don't use them to their full extent...

Anyway, both Mom and Dad (we all call them that) were looking at us like we were different people. Usually we'd be eating and telling stories with our mouths full, but this time we were silent and chewing our food.

"Boys, what's wrong?" Mom asked. No one answered.

"Come one, you can tell us. Or we can call your parents and you can talk to them," she coaxed.

"No, Ma. It's nothing we can't handle ourselves," Gerard said. We just kept eating. I wasn't really enjoying the wonderful Italian food Mom made for once in my entire life. I was just eating it to have something to do with my hands.

"Are you sure?" Dad asked.

"Yes! We are sure!" Gerard almost yelled. He was angry all of a sudden but we just looked at Mom and Dad for their reaction.

"Don't raise your voice to your mother, Gerard," Dad warned. Gerard mumbled an apology and hunched over his plate of spaghetti.

Mom and Dad exchanged a glance that I had seen so often from them I knew it meant, "Later."

We finished eating and exused ourselves and went to bed. Yes, we ate a full meal at 1:45 in the morning, but we were hungry and the bus was emptied of food yesterday so we didn't have to worry about it.

God, we were at Gerard and Mikey's house together so often we knew exactly where we were going to sleep and how we were going to do it. Mikey along with Bob went down the hall to Mikey's room and Me, Frank, and Gerard went down in the basement to Gerard's one-little-ass-windowed-room. We changed, brushed our teeth, blah, blah, blah.

We ended up with Gerard curled up in bed with Frank on the opposite end and me very content on the couch Gerard had down there.

But, damn I miss those girls.