The Hardest Part Is Letting Go of Your Dreams

* Jayda's POV *
"Come on, doll. Wake up," I say to Jazz as she sleeps.

"Jazz, come on, damn it. Zanda's got breakfast cooking." Finally the chick rolls out of bed and heads downstairs without a word, bitchy or normal.

I sigh and head downstairs after her. She hasn't been bitchy as usual in weeks.

We're in California, Gold Beach to be exact and we've been here for two and a half weeks. We know the guys are busy because they told us last week when they called. They haven;t called since.

I got down to the kitchen without getting lost. Zanda's inheritance of a mansion was pretty big. Keel and Tay decided to live in the city in an apartment building even though there's defiantly enough room here. It was just Jazz, Zanda, and me.

Jazz was poking at her eggs and bacon as Zanda fixed my plate. I thanked her and sat down. The food tasted just like my mom used to make it at my first house when I was little. It was great.

Suddenly, I wasn't sitting in Zanda's mansion anymore, I was back in my kitchen. My mother was across from me and my father to the left and brother to the right. He must have been visiting. Even cousin Tommy was there. I smiled. I think I was in a highchair or something so I could reach the table and we were laughing at something David said.

That was one of the few happy memories from that house. I frowned and looked back down at my plate, back in California, 2007 instead of in Maryland, 1982.

We talked and ate and then put the dishes in the sink, knowing we wouldn't do them tonight no matter what we promised ourselves.

After getting dressed and stuff we walked out the door and went to visit Tay and Keel.

When we got to the door we knocked and waited and waited. Zanda called Tay on her cellphone and Tay said that they were in the city getting breakfast but they'd be there in five minutes. After they got there we went and hung out at the movies, the mall, loitered at the entrance, and got kicked out of DEB for being too loud. That was the fifth time for Zanda and Jazz.

We decided to stay the night at Tay and Keel's since we didn't feel like driving home in the dark. As we climbed into bed Jazz turned to me and said, "I miss them."

"Yeah, me too," I replied.

"We all do, babe," Keel said. We'd all decided to sleep in the living room even though there was barley enough room for us five girls. Jazz was on the couch and I was on the floor, laying on some blankets, wrapped in another one, even though it was summer.

"I have dreams about Ray," she says and my head snaps up.

"Dreams?" I say like an idiot. Of course dreams, you retard.

"Yeah, dreams. We talk and he says he misses me.Like we're actually talking face to face. Too bad they're only dreams."

"Yeah, too bad," I said, not really thinking it. I suddenly knew why Jazz, Ray, Gerard, Frank, Zanda, and I all had those dreams.

Love.

* Gerard's POV *
"Yo, big bro. Wake up," Mikey said as he shook me awake. We thought we'd stay for a couple weeks with our parents and they'd talked us in to staying another half week as well, but today Mikey was going back to Brooklyn and I was going to visit Frank before coming back here and gathering my stuff to move to Oregon, even though I wouldn't be living there until September.

I got up and, yawned, stretched, the whole nine yards, and me and Mikey walked down to breakfast together. Mom made everyone else's plate before her own, just like most moms do, and she sat down too.

After breakfast, Mikey got his stuff together and piled them into his car which he'd left here for two months just like everyone else had because we knew we'd be spending the night here after tour.

"See ya, dude," I said.

"See ya," he said and hugged me before hopping in his car and starting toward Brooklyn, listening to Anthrax.

I walked in the house and found there was nothing to do so I told mom I was going to see Frank. She likes to think I'm a still a teenager or something so I play along with it.

I drove down town to Frank's house and knocked on the door until he answered simply because I wanted something to do with my hands.

"Jesus Christ, be patient, damn it!" he said, opening the door. Lucky bastard has his own house. Oh well, I'll have mine soon. "Oh, dude," is all he said when he realized it was me. He opened the door wider to let me in.

His house hadn't changed much, but then again, he'd only been home two weeks. Straight away, he started laughing at me.

"Jacket whore."

"What?" I asked wondering what he was talking about.

"You fucking got another jacket?"

"Yeah? So?" I said, taking it off and throwing it at him. It was black, no surprise there, and I liked it, so I bought it. He throw it on the coat hanger by the door.

"Don't you have a hundred already? God, you're worse women and their shoes," he said and we both laughed. I still love his laugh, but defiantly not as much as Jayda's. She hates her laugh, but I love it. Ah, Jayda.

We walked into the kitchen and I sat down at the table while he rummaged through the fridge.

"You wanna drink?" he said looking at me over the fridge door. I raised my eyebrows.

"I mean Coke or 7 Up, stupid."

"Oh," I said. I thought he'd meant a drink. "Coke." He tossed me a can and got out one for himself and sat across from me.

"So how was your two and a half weeks with Mom and Pops?" he asks.

"Good. Mom still thinks Mikey and I are teenagers or something. I kinda like it, kinda hate it," I shrug.

"Just like when you actually were a teenager," he laughs.

"How the hell would you know? You didn't know me when I was a teenager! Were you stalking me?" I laugh.

"No, but my mom used to treat me like a kid when I was a teenager and you're mom's treating you like a teenager when you're an adult. They're always a step behind." Frank took a sip from his Coke and looked out into space.

"Damn, I miss those chicks," he says out of nowhere.

"You been thinking about them a lot?" I ask.

"Yup. You?"

"Yup."

* Zanda's POV *

The next morning Jazz is shaking me and telling me to get dressed, saying something about New Jersey.

"What?" Keel, who is already up, is shrieking, looking at Jazz in disbelief.

"I'm going to Jersey. I can't fucking take it anymore, I miss him too much!" she was about ready to cry.

"We can't just pack up and leave for fucking Jersey!" I yell at her. "It's across the country!"

"Exactly," Jazz says.

"We don't have money, Jazz! Or a flight or plans!" Tay says.

"Zanda's got money, I got us a flight and I threw plans out the fucking window," Jazz says.

"You know I can't touch that money until I'm 21!"

"Not that money, your other money." I thought she was crazy! The money I'd gotten from my relatives the day I was born? All my family is dead now. I'm the Harry Potter of the USA.

Then I thought of Frank. The last time I kissed him, two and a half weeks ago before I came back here. The first time I kissed him on the bridge and what he said to me on the bridge in Oakland.

"Fine. Let's go," I said. Tay and Keel looked at me like I was insane. Jayda hadn't spoken the entire time, just sat and watched it unfold.

"Okay. I'll go get my stuff," Jay finally said, standing up and dashing upstairs. Jazz raced behind her and I followed. Soon, I heard Tay and Keel come in to change their clothes too.

Holy shit, we're going to Jersey!

______________________________________

I can't believe that we're going to see the MCR boys again. Our boys! I was worried about what would happen after Warped Tour, I thought they'd forget us and we wouldn't see them again, but we're going to see them now. After Tay and Keel got their stuff from their apartment. we took a cab to the airport, on the other side of Gold Beach and hopped on the plane.

"Jazz, who's house are we going to?" I ask, suddenly realizing that they might not even be home.

"The Way house," she said. "The way Mikey and Gee talk about them, their parent would let us stay there if no one's home." Okay, so she actually did sort of plan this out. Sort of.

"How can you be sure they don't have plans, though?" Jayda asks leaning forward in her seat behind Jazz.

"I'm not," Jazz said simply. See what I mean by, "Sort of"?

"Jazz, you're one crazy bitch, you know that?" Jayda laughs.

"And she's proud of it too!" Tay calls from across the isle. Jazz just smirked.

________________________________________

We landed in Jersey and I suddenly had butterflies. What if they don't want to see us? I mean they haven't called us since last Wednesday.

But Frank told you he loves you!

Great another Confuse the Hell Out of Zanda War...

He could have not meant it.

But you know he did.

I'm always wrong though.

Not on this, you're not.

I could be.

Quit being a pessimistic bitch.

Damn. We walked off the plane and waited a fucking half hour for our bags and then raced the hell out of there only to realize we didn't know where the hell we were. We walked a few blocks to a store to ask directions to Belleville. God, Jayda was right; Jazz is a crazy bitch.

"Hey, dude person," Jayda said in her fake southern accent that she sometimes uses for no reason. The dude person behind the counter turned around from stocking some cigarettes behind the counter.

"Yeah?" he asked.

"How'd ya get to Belleville from here. Ya know?" she continued with that accent.

"Yeah. Go south twenty miles and then east until you see the sign welcoming you to it," he smiled. He stared at Jayda's chest, and I mean STARED. And of course, she saw it.

"Thank you!" she said cheerily. She turned to us. "Come on, girls. Mommy's gotta get her hair done before we go see daddy in jail," she said, shooing us out of the store. I looked back at the dude person. He had turned pale at the aspect of looking at a woman with four daughters. And we looked like we could each be at least 23 years old. Imagine how old he thought Jayda must be! He didn't seem too happy that our "father" was an outlaw either.

God, Jayda is good.

As we walked out of the store I said,"Mom, why the hell do you always talk about you and dad in the third person?"

"Watch your language young lady!" she snapped back.

We went to a bus stop and luckily there was a bus that was actually going straight to Belleville! We didn't have to ask directions in the first place! Oh well, it was worth it.

We got on and payed the fee.

"Jayda, you're brilliant!" Keel said.

"Yeah, I know," Jay said cockily.

"Did you see the look on his face when he realized how old you'd be to have kids the age we look?"

"Yeah, he was grossed out! I'd be.. what? Fifty?" We all laughed.

To pass the time to Belleville, even though it was only half an hour we did what we'd usually do on the bus. Damn I miss that smelly, sweaty, crowded bus. I hope they smoke bombed the thing out when they got back... it probably had flees from us not taking showers. They probably didn't.

"Boys," I thought before I fell asleep.

* Frank's POV *
God, I thought I'd never come back here.

I'm in the dark with that one spotlight shinig in front of me. And that one beautiful woman. I walked--more like ran-- over and picked her up in a big hug and kissed her head. She looked confused.

"What's wrong?" I asked her.

"I thought you didn't wanna talk to me anymore..."

"What?!? How could you think that?" I asked literally shocked beyond belief.

"We haven't talked to you guys since last Wednesday," she said, looking down at her feet.

"I didn't call because you didn't. I thought you didn't want to talk to me."

"I didn't call because that's what I thought!," Zanda said and smiled.

"Well, we're both idiots, aren't we?"

"We are?"

"Yes. We were both wrong. So, so wrong," I said.

"Yeah, I guess we are morons," she laughed. Damn I love her laugh. I can't tell you how much I missed it.

"Hey, go over to the Way house," she told me out of nowhere.

"Umm... why?"

"Because... I don't know! I just have a feeling you should head over there," she said, slapping my arm.

"Okay, okay. No need to get violent."

"And take the rest of MCR with you."

"What are you planning?" I asked her, looking down at her face suspiciously.

"Nothing!"

"Tell me, Zanda."

"Okay, okay. We're planning on a dude coming to Gerard's house, dressed in a bear suit and surprising you all with a huge hug for each of you and a video of life in Gold Beach, but you've ruined the surprise now!" I didn't know if she was lying or not. You never know what the hell's going on with the FX girls.

"So are you going to be there?" she asked me excitedly.

"Yes, we'll all be there. If this thing's coming soon, I better leave and call Mikey and tell him to get his ass down here from Brooklyn."

"Okay," she said.

"Okay, bye." I kissed her full on the lips and walked off into the darkness and woke up to my living room light shining in my face. I'd fallen asleep on my couch.

After phone calls and many, "I have no idea why just get your ass over there!" sentences I was over at the Way house with Gerard helping him pack stuff for Oregon while we waited for the others.

Those girls are insane, I swear.