I Don't Belong Here

1998...Junior Year.

"Hey, Addie, can I talk to you for a minute?" I looked over from my lunch and saw Brian waving his hand at me.

I nodded, and warned the boys, "Don't take my cookie!" as I went over to sit with Brian on a piece of secluded grass.

"Yeah, hey, what's up?" I asked.

"Well, um...," he stayed like that for about two minutes without saying a single word.

"Bri...What?" I asked again, this time, a little more concerned. I touched his arm lightly, and he winced, moving away from me.

He couldn't have been breaking up with me, because we've been together for two years and everything was going well.

"Look, I'll just spit it out," he finally spoke. "I...don't think we should hang out anymore."

I couldn't quite process what he said. Hang out?

"What I'm trying to say is that...I...don't think we should go out anymore," Brian said slowly, avoiding my eyes.

I blinked rapidly, staring everywhere but in his eyes.

"...Um...Can I ask why?" I choked out; fuck, tears.

He looked really surprised that I had asked him that.

"Oh, well, it's just, you know...I don't think...," he stopped for a moment, "we're that compatible with each other anymore. Some things we do are getting old, now, you know?"

No, I didn't know, you son of a bitch. "Okay. That's fine. Can you...Can you tell the guys I won't be hanging out with them anymore?"

Brian looked taken aback when I said this; "Just because I dumped - we're over...Doesn't mean you can't hang out with the guys anymore, Addison."

Ooh, saying "dumped" and "Addison" in the same sentence? Ouch.

"Yeah, well, it'll be really awkward, ya know," I chuckled, trying to play it off. "Yeah. I'll...whatever."

I stood up and walked briskly to the bench and got my book and backpack and ignored the guys' "What'd he say?" and "Ads, what happened?", and walked to class early.

In Brian's POV...

"Bri...what?" she touched my arm, and I grimaced. God, this...this monster was touching me, for God's sake! There should be a fucking law against that!

I sighed, "Look, I'll just spit it out. I...," I stalled, "don't think we should hang out anymore."

I took a quick glance at her confused expression, and looked away; "What I'm trying to say is that...I...don't think we should go out anymore."

I tried to mentally prepare myself for anything she would say after, but nothing helped when she asked, "...Um...Can I ask why?"

Shit.

If I was being honest, I would've said, "You gained so much weight, your acne's getting worse, your braces aren't coming off until senior year when you told me sophomore year, and you don't wear any makeup!"

But, I decided not to. Instead, I settled with, ""Oh, well, it's just, you know...I don't think...we're that compatible with each other anymore. Some things we do are getting old, now, you know?"

She looked at me like she bought it and basically waved it off with a "That's fine." But then she started talking about not being able to hang with the guys 'cause that'd be awkward.

Inside, I was hoping she'd stay away, but I couldn't do that to any girl, especially not one I just broke up with. She just stood up and walked quickly to the bench, grabbed her shit, and left.

I did the same, and sat down. "What the fuck happened, man?" asked Matt.

"I broke up with her," I stated simply, playing with the apple.

"What? Why? I thought you two were going steady!" said Jimmy.

I leaned in closer, just to make sure no one was listening, and instinctively, everyone else did, too.

"Have you seen her? She's fucking fat now," I spat, "her acne's not getting any better, and remember when she said that she's getting her braces off during sophomore year? I found out that they're coming off like the month before we fucking graduate, man! And she doesn't wear makeup, either. What chick doesn't wear makeup?! And her hair - "

"Dude," Zack frowned at me, "do you even realize what you're saying? Have you noticed that all you're talking about are her fucking looks? What about her...good qualities, douche?"

I snorted at him, "I bet a lot of those nerds," I jabbed a finger towards under the staircases where the losers usually hang out, "are pretty nice and shit, but you don't see me going out with one of them."

"Still," Zack pressed, "that's pretty low to Addie, isn't it?"

"Whatever, man. She's cool, she was alright with it when I dumped her."

"She was practically crying when she got her backpack," Matt rolled his eyes and shook his head at his best friend.

"Dude. It's life. We date, break up, and start all over again," I said, sighing loudly. "She'll probably never be hot, anyways."

End flashback...

Oh, how wrong you are, Brian Haner, Jr. How wrong you are.