Starlight (book 3)

Kyra and I were lying down, now. My head was resting in my hands. Kyra was doing the same. We were staring up at the stars, just talking. We haven't sat down and talked like two sisters in a while, and how we got to this situation was a simple story. Eamon was thirsty, so he went to hunt. We are simply waiting.

"Isn't it annoying, though? I mean, the constant humming or whatever in the back of your head twenty four seven no matter where you are?" I asked. Kyra shrugged.

"Ehh... after all the years that have gone by I've been able to tune it out." She answered. I thought for a minute.

"You said you can read animals minds right? But they're... different..." I muttered, trying to remember the last time we talked about this. It was a while ago... probably after I was done shaking crazily because I was trying to resist humans. A year after I was turned. Kyra was so helpful, she was there for me. Everyone else though… well… Rezse spent quiet a while getting an earful from Jacinda. She had a bad habit of telling him just how badly he screwed up. Dakarai was silent for a while whenever he was around me. They were all so shocked but mostly frightened, not sure what to do with me. Once they knew that I was under 'control' they figured I'd bolt. I thought I would too.

But something was holding me back. Even though everyone but Kyra never spoke to me, and even though I never felt comfortable here. I just thought, where would I go? Where could I go? Being alone scared me, and Kyra had already answered my thoughts on whether or not suicide was an option. Then, after a while, I realized it was my growing friendship with Kyra. The thought of leaving my family never crossed my mind after that. We talked for hours in a day, and the first thing we did talk about was her ability. That was eleven, almost twelve years ago. My memory of that time was faded, but for a reason. I purposely made it faded and unclear. It was a darker, much harder time…

“Yes, I can. But thankfully I just have to focus, I actually have to do something to get into their head. Whenever I do, it’s strange. They always have something that they want or need going on their mind, and determination. I feel what they have planned, for they feel what they have planned. When it’s a wild animal it’s usually instinct stuff, but sometimes its not. One thing is for sure, those humans that say animals don’t have feelings other than instinct are dead wrong. I’ve felt happiness, sheer joy, sadness, deep depression and of course love in an animal. But there mind is all feelings, so it takes a lot of focus for me to ‘read’ or ‘feel’ their mind. I kind of feel bad for them, for they technically have voices of their own, only humans cannot feel it nor hear it. An animal talks to a human with its eyes, they avoid us because they sense that we are a threat, and yet I can tell that they are trying to communicate. But humans always say stuff like ‘they can’t talk, laugh, they have no feelings whatsoever! They’re just some stupid animal’ even though I so desperately wanted to prove them wrong. I want to be an animal’s voice, to try and help the world to understand, but of course I cannot. I, like them, have to stay quiet.” Kyra said. I thought about her words. Yes, most humans were complete and utter idiots, I knew that. A wave of guilt washed over me as I thought about animals. I always loved them, and I think I was a vegetarian before I turned. And now look; I’m killing animals left and right without a second thought! I sighed, knowing that I would have to accept the fact that I was a monster no matter what.

“You’re not a monster when you think about it. Really, it’s the ‘circle of life’; we are meant to drink blood, that’s just what nature decided. You’re not killing them for ‘sport’ like a human might, you’re killing them because you try to be good.” Kyra looked at me, “You’re not a monster.” She repeated. I sighed, fine, fine. I’m not a monster.

The guilt didn’t vanish so easily, though.

“Hey you two.” Eamon said, coming out of the clearing. He did not surprise us, for you can never surprise Kyra, and I could easily smell his beautiful scent a mile away. I felt a little calmer, a little more relaxed knowing he was back. Kyra stood up quickly, eager to continue the trail. She was starting to get this tracking thing down so that we never lost the trail, but it was still difficult for us. I looked at the grass, feeling it smoothly between my fingers before standing up again. Then, without any warning whatsoever, a strange feeling came over me. A feeling or a little voice that was ordering me one thing.

Turn around!