Starlight (book 3)

Moon's POV-
I had my arms wrapped around Kyra comfortingly as we both watched Bryenn burn. I was holding my breath. The scent of a vampire burning was just so... strong. It smelled sweet, too sweet. Sickly sweet. It burned it's way up your nostrils as the all too strong scent gave you a headache, or whatever was close enough to a headache that vampire's would get.

Kyra sighed. I knew what was coming. Everything. Everything that has been on her mind. I didn't know how much there was, but I was ready for anything. Even her darkest secrets that she even couldn't tell me.

Kyra sighed, and I stiffened. I didn't know why, for I've been dying to know what has really been torturing her for so long.

"When I first saw Bryenn sink his teeth into the weak human flesh of... him, I lost something. I lost a part of me that I knew I would never, ever get back. I don't know what a name for it is, I don't even know if it has a name... But, I not only lost something. It was replaced with something a little later on. After the pain of turning, after the pain of waking only to find Bryenn by my side with a smile on his face. After finding out what had happened, what I was and who I had lost. The first time I saw Bryenn smile, I received that part of me. The part that I've kept at bay for so long I thought that I had complete control over it.

"It was what caused me to throw myself from the ground I had been laid on to slash at Bryenn's face. I got his arm off, and his face had three slash marks on it that looked like a human who had just been slashed in the face by a raptor or something. But he realized what he had done, and how weak I was without my heart and only shattered pieces of it, and he took off. I laid there on the ground, ignoring my thirst for days. I was far from civilization, for he had to move me from anyone in earshot of my never ending screams from the venom. I only smelled animal blood, which at first didn't appeal to me at all. My instincts told me to go to the city and begin the newborn slaughter.

"But no... I may have been dreaming, I had no idea. I doubt it, for it's 'impossible'. But I still remember my imagination getting carried away, paying no attention to my thirst like it wasn't even there and focusing on the imaginary feeling of his warm comforting hands around my surprisingly cool body. I had forgotten what had replaced my heart. I had forgotten the negative, dark thoughts...

"But it didn't last. I had gotten to the point where even the animals blood began to make my mouth water, and I knew I should feed. But, that was murder. How could I kill innocent humans? How could I do what Bryenn had done to me?

"I remembered he told me that he let me live and not him for a reason. A gift that nature had bestowed onto me, but I didn't want to hear it. I cut him off, literally, by whipping my hand across his face cutting his lips in two. I remember being surprised how strong I was, and how there was no blood.

"So I went into town, curious. I thought I would be able to resist for I had been able to ignore my thirst for so long, but I was wrong. It took me a second to realize I was reading people's minds. I had heard the thoughts of a man, late twenties, hoping that his friend would snatch the little girl passing him so that they could quote 'have some fun later on'. The images in his head... he and his buddy were my target in a second. I easily walked - no, ran past the other humans without plagued minds. I grabbed the first one my the mouth, so that he couldn't scream. He fought and kicked but I hardly noticed. I snatched the other the same way and ran effortlessly out of town. In that second, nothing existed but my thirst. It was suddenly unbearable, and uncontrollable. Those two rapists were dead in... two minutes maybe?

"Despite the fact that the ones i was killing were awful people, horrible people, the fact that I was killing them was awful enough. But by the time I had stopped it was only for suicide, after so many failed attempts. I spent... I don't know, three months in the desert with my hallucinations? I lost count of the hours, of the days. Still, then, I hadn't noticed what had replaced my heart.

"It wasn't until Nadir had come along... that one thought that erased my good time with my new family, with my new life and showed me reminders that I had literally forgotten. ...It hurt so bad...

"I ran out into the woods, and when I returned i wasn't the same person anymore. The thing that had replaced my heart had finally showed itself.

"How can I describe it? A black hole it was, sitting in the middle of a peaceful, once happy space. It sucked in my old plans for the future with only one: death. Murder. Kill. That's all it said and did, it showed me Bryenn's face over and over until it got to the point where when I saw his face I whispered 'kill' in my head.

"...

"It was awful... I felt as if I was losing my mind. My old techniques didn't work... they were replaced with dark ones. Images and 'daydreams' of what I would do if I saw him. It was, unbearable. When I caught his scent in the woods, the scent that I should have seen was much too strong, I knew this was my chance. My chance to free myself from the agony my black hole had created. That was why I was so blind by all the signs, why I refused to listen to you, Moon. Why I became so frustrated when we were going to turn around. Because this was my only way out of the insanity I was spiraling into. I needed this...

"And that is what is so damn pathetic.

"When you kill, and it isn't personal, you can distance yourself. You know it wasn't because you were a horrible person. You know that you didn't kill them because you wanted to see them dead. But... when you kill because it is personal, that.... is the worst part. You know, that you killed them, simply for yourself. You killed them because you let them affect you that much, you let them get in your head and screw you. it shows you that you killed... simply, for the kill. And when you know that isn't like you, it lets you know just weak you are. Just how low you can sink... when you never intended for it to ever, ever go that far. And yet, it still did."

Kyra turned to look at me. I couldn't almost, just almost see a touch of her original eye color. A beautiful honey brown.

"I think it's time. Time for me to move on from..." She took one long, deep breath...

"Aiden." She whispered then name of her long lost love for the first time since he died. I smiled, it fit perfectly.

I hugged her tighter, deciding to not tell her about Maeve and Nadir. I made this decision before I ran up to Kyra. Why make her suffer more than she already was?

"I don't know what I'd do without you Moon." She whispered. I smiled. I didn't need to say anything. She would see the emotion I was feeling, and that was more than a plain response with words. Much more... I turned to look at her. Bryenn was no longer burning. He was gone.

"Let's go home."