Strained Love

Esme's Point of View

I can't respond to what just happened. It feels like all the blood in my body has been drained, like my heart is not beating but I'm still alive, like someone ripped out my heart and is jumping on it. But the worst of all, like the love of my life has been taken away from me. If you don't understand what I'm feeling or where I'm coming from, then your about to. I'm at my doctors office, I thought I had a common cold or flu, but boy was I wrong. I'm sick as in I am going to die in a couple of months, to be exact six months. I have some sort of disease, the doctors don't know how to treat it, and to be completely honest I was really listening after they told me they couldn't do anything for me.

My name is Esme Collins. I live in Dallas Texas, where the sun shines bright and it is definitely not cold. Where there is a beach in every direction. I live with my brother,Caleb he is twenty-three. When my parents died, five years ago, he took full responsibility for me. I owe so much to him, for taking care of me and just being there. Joseph jonas is my best friend, and brother to Kevin, who is Caleb's best friend. I met Joe through my brother one day when my family went to the Jonas' for dinner. My life is pretty much boring as ever, I don't really do anything except hand out with Joe and his brothers, other than them I don't have any really close friends, just people at school I say hello to. That is my life exciting isn't it?

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Joe's Point of View

I was pacing in my room waiting for Esme to get done at the doctor and call me, see ahe went to the doctor because she hasn't felt right for a couple of weeks. You know the usuall, moody, throwing up, and... wait hold on she cant be pregnant? Can she? She would deffinately tell me something like that.

"Lets drop!" What the hell was that. I think I just jumped about ten foot on the air. "Lets drop!" I started to walk around my room looking for the source of the opening lyrics to 'Shake It' by Metro Station. I looked under my bed, then in my closet, and in my bed-side table drawers, finally I found a phone under a pile of clothes in the corner of my slightly messy room. It was Esme's so I figured I would answer it just in case something was wrong.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Joe! I n... need you, can you p... please come over?" She barely said in between sobs. It broke my heart to hear her crying.

"Of course, but what's wrong?" I asked

"I'll tell y... you when you get here, just h... hurry. And don't bring N... Nick and Kevin! I just want you! Please hurry J... Joe!" She sobbed some more.

"I'll be there in a few minutes." I said while searching for my chucks and keys. Yes I got my license when I turned eighteen. Something must really be wrong with Esme. I mean she just doesn't cry like that, even when her parents died, and then she was only eleven. She is the bravest person I know, and so strong. She always tells me what she is feeling whether it be sad or happy. I lover her so much, but she'll never feel the same way. In fact I remember the exact day I realized I loved her, she was about fourteen and I was around sixteen.

Flashback

"So what do you want to today Joesph?" Esme asked with her cute innocent voice, and big green eyes, shining while she looked at me, that she could win anyone over with.

"Idk, like maybe we should go to the mall and hit all the big sales, 'cause you know I have that date coming up with Jimmy, and I so need a new outfit. Then we could like go and get like loads of pairs of shoes." I said in the biggest girlie voice I could muster up.

"Well I think we should go to that there fish-in' hole and throw out them canes. Then camp with them grizzlies." Esme said, trying to sound like a man. And from that moment I knew that I, Joseph Adam Jonas, was in love with Esme Beth Collins. She could come back at me with jokes, make me laugh until I cry, and even not laugh at me when I lose to her in Guitar Hero. Her big green eyes just make me want to stare at her all day long. Then her high cheek bones and long, blond, and curly hair. She fits into me so well when I hug her, my chin sits right on top of her head, and her head fits right into my neck. But the real sad part about it is she will only ever think of me as a big brother.

Joe's Point of View continued.

By the time I was done thinking about Esme and the day at the park. I was driving up at her house. Before I was even stopped I threw open my car door, and ran to her front door. Before I could even knock she was there crying, then jumping in my arms. I tried to calm her with soothing words and whispering in her ear and rubbing her head, because those things usually calm her, but nothing was working so I took her over to the swing on her Victorian front porch and sat her in my lap. "Everything is going to be okay Esme, I will make sure of it." I told her, while tilting her head up so I could look her in the eyes.

"How c... can you s... say that Joe!, nothing is going to be fine. Y... You can't tell m... me everything i... is fine when y... you don't even k... know whats wrong!" She yelled at me

"Esme, just try to clam down and tell," she cut me off, yelling at me again.

"Joe I'm d... dying, I have s... six months to live. I'm going to die. I wont get to have a life I won't g... get to travel the world, o... open the restaurant I want to open. I won't have k... kids, I won't get m... married. And I won't e... even be able to h... have sex." She stood up from my lap. "Of c... course you can say e... everything will be f... fine you will find a g... girl, get married, have s... sex, and have k... kids. Plus your not l... losing anything, I a... am, my life." Finally she just broke down and started to punch my chest, but I just took it, she needed someone to take this out on, and I was the only person that she felt comfortable with. S I just held her while she sobbed and I cried silently.

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After about an hour and about a half of sitting on her front porch crying, and earning strange looks from people walking around her neighborhood, her tears were starting to die down and mine were long gone, when finally I said something. "Esme I will be there for you every step of the way. If you want we can go see the world or I'll even shave my head just to make you laugh and smile or if you want we can get married. It doesn't matter what we do as long as your happy." I said as I finished my little speech.

"Really you w... would do all of those f... for me?" She asked with that sparkle in her beautiful green eyes. I tucked a piece of her curly blond hair behind her ear, and placed a kiss on her forehead.

"Of course," I stopped for half a moment to catch my breath and tell my heart to slow down. "I love you Esme Collins and I would do anything to make you happy." I said with my eyes closed.

She pried my eye lids apart, with her tiny fingers then said. "Do you mean you really love me like not as just a friend?" I couldn't believe I just told her all of my feelings, after two years. But I guess there is no time like the present, or so they say.

"Yes, and I meant what I said about getting married, I would be honored to marry you and make you happy, if you would like to marry me that is." I said starting to ramble and as my heart was about to beat out of my chest.

"Well I love you too, Joseph Adam Jonas!" She said with the biggest and brightest smile on her beautiful face, but with tears still in her bright green eyes. I stood bringing her with me then spoke.

"Esme Beth Collins, I have been in love with you ever since that day you tried to impersonate a guy," she looked up at me then laughed at the memory, "You drive me insane every time I'm with you or around you, or even see you. With you big beautiful eyes." I outlined the shape of her eyes with my right index finger. "Your nice lips, that are so beautifully colored." I traced the outline of her lips. "Then your beautiful curly hair." I wrapped a curl around my finger then let go, as I watched it spring up and down. "All of these things and I haven't even left your face!" I smiled big, and she giggled. "Your body is so curvy, but in a good way, you have the best figure, plus your skin is so soft. Sometimes I feel like it melts under my touch." I got down on one knee and asked her the biggest question of our lives. "Will you Esme Collins make me the happiest man alive and be my Mrs. Jonas?"