As Bizarre as It Gets

Yu would call me every other day and we would talk for about half an hour. Sometimes Strify would take the phone away from him and ask me a set of questions that didn't really make sense. I didn't mind being teased by Strify. I didn't even mind his will to tell the same anegdote four times. I would patiently listen to him tell it identically from word to word each time. That would end in Yu ripping the phone from Strify's hand to wish me goodnight. It was always 'goodnight' because he would always call me before he was going to sleep.

I loved hearing about their rehersals and their work at the studio They were a part of a very big machinery of people who were pushing them. They all worked twelve hours a day but they never complained. The boys were extaticly happy because their wildest dreams were about to become reality.

@}--,---

A couple of months fell off the calendar when a thick envelope showed up in my mailbox. I took it to my room clenching it to my chest like somebody could try to take it away from me. I clawed it apart and stared at the content in a trance-like state. It was finally here. Every detail looked just like he'd described. The title was Final Attraction just like he'd said it would be. That day I forgot to eat, drink or leave my bedroom, all I did was listening to Cinema Bizarre.

The boys wrote their own lyrics. I could recognize their expressions and the way of thinking which made my heart beat a little faster. I wished I was with them in Berlin again but those summer days seemed too far away, like from a different lifetime. Now it was late December.

As I was walking down the sidewalk of the centre street of my home town that night, watching the Christmas decorations' tacky glitters, I stopped at one of the news stands to buy a pack of cigs.

I was stuffing the change and a pack of Marlboro Lights in the pocket of my long black winter jacket and the cover of the Bravo magazine caught my eye. Britney Spears was on it, being her usual self but with brown hair. I swear to gods, those days Britney was everywhere. Right then Brit-Brit wasn't my main focus. My eyes fixed on the small title in the low corner of the cover: 'Cinema Bizarre – Bizarre Manga Rockers'.

I bought the magazine too and stood two feet away from the news stand, brousing through it to find the interview on pages eighteen and nineteen. When I saw the picture, I could hardly recognize them. Those were my well-known two-coloured-hair boys but they were heavily photoshoped.

I smiled to myself when I read how Kiro explained the way they met on the Internet and how Strify clarified that they weren't copying Bill Kaulitz with their specific appearance.I could basically hear him explaining that idea of J-rock as their part of personality. You could always count on Strify to be the smartass.

But my enthusiasm sank when they answered a question about one-night-stands. Yu said he loved sex very much and had slept with more than ten girls. I read the whole article and shoved the magazine into my bag.

I took the pack of cigs from my pocket and fired one up. I continued walking down the frozen and snow-covered sidewalk towards the bar where I had agreed to meet my friends. I continued sucking on thet cigarette like a mad woman and looked straight ahead of me. Yu's past was none of my business. And it didn't bother me. Not even a little bit. Not at all.

I walked into the bar and went directly to the table where my friends and I always sat. I squeezed myself into the booth and whispered a greeting while trying to get out of my jacket. I pretended not to notice how they glanced at each other and then back at me.

''Is somebody finally gonna speak?'' I asked. I looked up to see only two of my friends had shown up, Annie and Chuck. What a strange pairing. ''Come on, you guys. It's the holiday season. Cheer up, will you!'' I tried to break the tension my entrance had made.

''So, have you seen your editor like you said?'' Annie asked and took a sip of her beer.

''No. Everybody at the firm will be slacking off until after New Year's Eve. Speaking of which, do we have any ideas on where to greet the new 2008?'' I replied.

''I thought you were gonna go to Berlin and party with your boyfriend,'' Chuck said.

''That was the original plan but they're running around, you know. Playing live, rehersing, TV apperances... You know. I don't want to get in the way,'' I explained.

''Oh... That explains the look on your face when you entered,'' Annie commented.

''Yeah. That's the reason,'' I partly lied.

''Well, I'm sorry, my dear. We're not gonna tolerate that kind of mood. Waiter! A beer for the girl!'' Annie shouted to the guy behind the bar and her chocolate brown eyes lit up.

I should inform you that I was never able to drink a lot. My tolerance for alcohol is pretty low. So by the time I ordered another one my mind was a little slow, my speech was a little slurred and my eyes were a little glassy.

I jumped when I felt my cell phone vibrating in my pocket. It was a call from Yu.

''Hello?'' I answered.

''Hey, Carly. How's it going?'' he asked cheerfully.

''Nothing much... Oh! I got your CD today.''

''And? What do you think?'' his voice now had a little tention to it.

''Umh... Well... Jeez, I don't know how to say this to you... I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT!''

''Y-you do? I know it's not exactly your style...''

''Look... Seriously. I love it.''

''Yeah, I knew you would.''

''Yeah, yeah... Just admit I had you going there,'' I teased.

''Did NOT.''

''Admit it.''

''Ok, so... I was scared sh*tless for a second there,'' he said, moved the phone away from his face and shouted ''SHE LIKES IT!''

I could hear cheering from somewhere around him.

''Say hello to the boys for me,'' I said.

''She says hello!'' he shouted.

They responded in slurred greetings and kissing sounds. I had to laugh at that. The boys sure knew how to party, I'd seen it myself.

I tensed a little when the door opened and I saw Erik walk into the bar alone. Chuck and Annie looked at me in search for a reaction. Since I was tipsy, I let my old habit come out – I waved at him and shouted: ''Hello, Eric, baby!'' I bit my lip the moment I said that.

Erik smiled and waved back but Yu caught my words and asked: ''What?''

''Oh, nothing. I was just saying hello to an old friend who's just walked in,'' I tried to sound casual.

''A guy? Called Erik?'' the tension in his voice was back.

''Yeah, his name is Erik. So?''

''So... Why did you call him 'baby'?''

''I-I didn't.''

''Carly...''

''Are you making a big deal out of this?'' I hoped he would hear the desperation in my voice but I knew I'd crossed the line. He was holding back but he was seriously pissed off.

''Are you seeing other guys out there?'' he was trying to sound calm.

''No. I swear.''

''I understand. We're apart. You get lonely. And you're an attractive girl... Things happen.''

''What the hell are you saying? Did I ever give you a reason not to trust me? Besides, I'm the one who should be worrying,'' I was starting to get mad and made Chuck and Annie visibly uncomfortable.

''What's that supposed to mean?'' he was losing control and the boys over there got all quiet.

''You love to f*ck around, right? That's something you're obviously proud of. And now you're a big bad rock star and will turn into a complere w*ore. No, I understand. You're an attractive boy. You're lonely. Things happen,'' I practically spat poison at him ad got the attention of everybody in the bar.

''Carly, you're not making any f*cking sense! What the f*ck got into you?!''

''I read, damnit! I saw what you're saying to the reporters!''

He was silent after I'd said that. He put two and two together.

''I'm not gonna apologise for my past, Carly,'' he said in a cold, steady tone. His voice was raspy from shouting.

''I'm not asking you to apologise for your past, Yu. I want you to stop f*cking everything that has a c*nt. Or is that too much to ask?'' I imitated his cold tone and hung up.

I let the phone fall on the table top and lit another cig with shaky hands. All the people soon went back to their conversations. Erik caught my eye. He was sucking on his own cigarette and grinned at me like he'd obviously enjoyed the show. He pushed one of the chairs at his table inviting me to come over.

''I'll be back,'' I said to Annie and Chuck and went to him.

I sat down and looked at him questioningly. I honestly wondered what he had to say.

''I heard you're dating some guy you've met in Germany last summer. I'm getting the idea there are some... troubles in paradise?''

I rolled my eyes and said: ''How is that your business, Erik?''

The smile had never left his face while he was looking at me with those toxic green eyes and fiddled with his hair. His bangs were almost shoulder length and the hair at the back of his head was up in spikes. That guy never stopped shocking me with the amount of time he spent doing his hair.

He reached towards my face and combed my purple bangs away from my eyes.

''Don't grow so attached, Carly,'' he said.

''I said it's none of your business.''

''We've known each other for... How long? Four years? I'm worried about you. Don't let them inside your mind.'' He took my hand off the table and held it in both of his. His palms were clad in soft black fingerless gloves.

He grinned once more and said: ''Come home with me.''