I Accidently Kidnapped the Joker. Crap.

I clenched my hands into a fist, feeling my nails dig into the rough skin of my palms as I recalled all the ‘luck’ and disappointments of relationships. I may seem beautiful on the outside and pretty on the inside to people but they couldn’t see inside my mind.

Yeah, you may be saying ‘the mind is part of the whole ‘inside’ thing but I never saw it that way. To me, the mind was separate from anything else of your character. It was special and powerful. Maybe even too powerful but with power comes great responsibility. Sometimes your mind can’t cope and handle the everyday and lifelong stressors. It begins to crack and eventually crumble from all the psychological problems.

This was, of course, all in my opinion and maybe even you can begin to see it now as the Joker tries to pry into my deepest memories I tried so hard to repress. The relationship problem was my mind and the Joker was the stressor. Cause and effect. Did any of that make sense? Oh well. I eventually recovered from his questions.

“I don’t want to talk about that, you have no right to learn anything about me.” I finally spoke, listening to the Joker chuckle at this.

“You kind of owe me something, you know, from all the ‘emotional distress’ you put me through” he howled with laughter as I too was amused from his comment.
I bit my lip and said “Joker, you have no emotions that can be distressed.”

I may not know his life story but watching the news and seeing the random people he murdered or had a hand in killing, you begin to see that there is no possible way he can have remorse for his actions.

“I like you” he said licking his lips “you’re good friend. You tell me the things no one else dares tell me. How’d you like to become one of my ‘Lost Boys’? Hmm?” he asked.

I just stared at him, not knowing whether he was serious or just screwing with my head. The look on his face told me he meant it.

‘Or was this some type of charade?’

“No” was my only response. A weird silence filled the room as I sat with my elbows on my knees and he just looking at the ceiling.

“Fine, will you tell me about your whole boyfriend situation then?” he asked again, breaking the silence, anticipation was clinging to his words.

I gave up, I really did.

“Fine, you want to know THAT badly?” my voice was in a harsh whisper. His only reply was a childish giggle as he sat as far in his chair the strings would allow him.
“No man ever saw me good enough to be their girl. I was too normal, too good to be their flavor of the week. All the boys in my grade school were too immature for me so I would reject them but then I began to realize that I was the one who was too mature. While others were reading Captain Underpants and Dr. Seuss books, I would sit and read biographies of famous people and books on how things worked. Then when I started to get older, guys started to see me as this weird book worm who thought she was too good for them but that wasn’t the case. I began to feel that I wasn’t good enough for them. I soon became the chick who no man had yet gotten with at school and the guys saw that as a challenge.” I looked up at the Joker, hoping he was asleep or not listening but he stared at me with interested eyes so I had to continue. “While everything else in my life was normal, this was the biggest problem for me. It almost depressed me, almost gotten the best of me but I realized that I had my family, my personality, and friends and that I didn’t need a man in my life besides those in my family. Slowly but surely, I blocked out any chance of having a normal and healthy relationship. To sum it up, it bothered me that I wasn’t so normal and perfect after all.” I finished with a blank expression but inside, I was drowning. The Joker kept his eyes on me while trying to think of something to say.

“You are really FUCKED up, you know that?” he said with a high pitched laugh. I grew very, VERY angry.

‘How dare he! I trust him enough to tell him that and he says I’m fucked up?’ I thought. I got off the couch and flung a pillow, full throttle, at his face. It hit him with a soft thud as I got some good feeling out of it. I then quickly ran to my room, got a couple belts and ran back out to the Joker. I had to make sure he had a little bit of a challenge to escape.

After I tightened the two belts on each of his legs and one, no sorry, two around his waist, I shut off the light and slammed my bedroom door shut. I needed to sleep damnit, it was already 1:06 in the morning. I then thought for a second and opened the door slightly, enough to be able to hear into the living room. Better safe than sorry right?

‘Girl, you are waaay past safe’ my subconscious said. ‘If only it were wrong.’

I woke up at around 10, a little cranky from only having gotten under 8 hours of sleep. It took me a while to get the bed; I had too much on my mind.

“Not even medical school was this stressful” I said to myself while brushing my hair. ‘I really need to cut this’ I thought while looking at my red hair. It fell just above my hips but still looked really healthy. I pulled the hair back into a braid and changed my clothing.

A simple black tank top with dark blue jeans and mismatching socks completed my daily ‘chill-axin’ outfit. So I had the day off today, sue me for being comfortable!
I walked into the kitchen, preparing to make breakfast but I stopped. I was supposed to be making food for two, right? The answer was yes but the empty chair that was clothed in two strings and four belts told me otherwise.

“You have got to be kidding me” I said to myself in disbelief. ‘Wait what the hell are you shocked about, the man busted out of Arkham 23 times for Pete’s sake!’ my conscious said. ‘Will you stop butting in’ I thought to myself “besides, it was 24 times!” I corrected myself. Now I had a new problem to think about.

‘Where, O where, has the little clown gone?’