Harder Than You Know

My phone vibrated in my hand, scaring me. One New Text Message: Unknown Number. It read. I slid my phone open, and read the text slowly....

Sophia. You can turn your back on the past, but you can't deny whats happening to you now. Check the one you love, before it's too late.

It confused me beyond belief. I was torn between who I loved, Alex or Craig. It was slowly ripping me apart inside, and this text didn't help. Whoever sent it, was definitely aiming it towards Craig. No one knew my feelings about Alex, hell, I wasn't even sure. I got up from the bus, changed clothes, and planned out a search.

"Max, can you come help me find him?" I asked him once I had changed.
"Yeah, Soph. Let's go." We started wondering around the backstage of the venue in which they were playing tonight, talking about pointless things. I heard a soft giggle, and turned and looked at Max. He was starring at the door confused, and glanced down at me expectantly. I shrugged my shoulders, and we both tiptoed to the door, and both placed our ear on it.

"Stop teasing me." I heard the girl laughed, and and hearty chuckle. I pressed closer to the door, as did Max.

"Fuck, Gab." Craig. THAT WAS CRAIG. I covered my mouth with my hand to keep me from gasping. Max's face turned blood red, and I was sure steam was going to come from his ears. I bit my bottom lip, and shook my head. I backed away from the door, tears welding up in my eyes. Max looked at me sympathetically, his face still burning red.

"Don't. Do. Anything. Let's just go." I whispered, and turned and left the building, getting on the bus. I changed into my pajamas, grabbed my old stuffed animal my grandpa had given me, and cried myself to sleep in my bunk.

I took off the necklace Craig had given me, and set it on the table. I had my bag packed, but this time I wasn't running away. Technically, anyways. I was going to go to the All Time Low bus with Michaela and Zach, if there was an extra bunk. Hell, I'd rather sleep on the floor than be on the same bus as Craig.

I grabbed my bag, and made my way to ATL's bus. I knocked on the door, and Alex answered.

"Hey Sophia." He smiled at me, it was genuine.

"Alex, hi. Do you guys have an extra bunk?" I asked, biting my bottom lip.

"Um, yeah. I'm pretty sure we do. Come on." He motioned for me to get on the bus.

"What made you want to come on our bus?" He questioned once he had shut the door. Michaela was sitting with Jack, watching A Walk To Remember. Classic.

"Craig is what happened." It came out a bit louder than a whisper, which surprised me.

"That bastard!" Michaela yelled, jumping up. Jack pulled her back by her hips, stopping her from going to kill Craig.

"Damn, I'm sorry Sophie. Well, come on. I'll show you to your bunk." He led me towards the back, and luckily, I got a bottom bunk. He sat on the bunk as I shoved my bag onto it. "Do you want to talk about it or anything?" He asked. I shook my head no.

"Thanks though, seriously. I'm just, more pissed than I am upset, I just don't want to get any more angry, if you know what I mean." He nodded his head, understanding.

"That's how I was when this girl I was in love with left a few years ago. Except, I wasn't angry at all... I just wish I could talk to her one more time." He said, looking down. My eyes became blurry, but I whipped my bangs over them so he couldn't tell.

"Maybe you can again." I mumbled.

"What?"

"Nothing, nothing." I said. It was silent a few more minutes, but not extremely awkward.

"Can I try something?" He asked, breaking the silence. I looked at him in confusion, but shook my head yes. He leaned forward, surprising me.

He kissed me lightly, but with so much passion it shocked me. It took me about two seconds to figure out what was going on, until I kissed back. He cupped my cheek, and I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him down on me. We separated soon after, both sitting there in an awkward silence.
"I'm so sorry,You just, you remind me of someone from my past." He whispered, breathing hard. He still had my cheek cupped with his palm, caressing it with his thumb. A tear rolled down my face, from what he had said. He whipped it away, looking me sadly in the eyes. He stood, and walked to the back of the bus.

A few minutes after wards, I had gained enough confidence to walk back there. He sat, slouched over his acoustic, playing MY song. I felt my heart shatter more than it hardly had in the past few weeks. He was singing my lyrics, and his voice was so low it was almost inaudible. I knocked on the door frame softly, and smiling at him when he glanced up at my face.

"Oh, hey." He said, his face already back to focusing on the strings.
"I know that song." I told him.
"So do thousands of other people, Sophia." I sighed, gaining my courage.
"Alex, I mean I know it as in... I wrote it."