Harder Than You Know

I glared at the stupid, stupid pee sticks. The little black plus signs made want to hurl my shampoo bottle at the mirror. Michaela had stepped out momentarily, giving me a private moment. I wasn't mad or upset about this. I was scared about what Alex would be thinking. I wasn't sure how to tell him, it just came out the last time..

Michaela softly knocked on the door, giving me a sympathetic look.

"So what are you going to do?" She asked carefully, unsure of my temper at the moment.

"Well, I'm not sure how Alex is going to handle it. That's the only thing I'm worried about truthfully. Personally, I'm happy. I was so distraught when.. well, you know. So, I'm going to make sure it doesn't happen this time." I said truthfully.

"Yeah. But you shouldn't be worried, Addison. Alex's going to handle it just fine, he's not Ronnie. Don't stress over it too much. He'll be home soon, I'm going to head out. I recommend you hide these, until you tell him." She motioned for the tests. I nodded my head. I wrapped them in toilet paper, and shoved them underneath the sink. Michaela left, hugging me.

I sat on the steps, letting the brisk wind hit my bare shoulders. I watched the neighbor get chased by a mini terrier, which was yapping annoyingly. I was contemplating tossing a few rocks at the both of them, but changed my mind when Alex's car pulled into the driveway. I sat motionless, waiting for him to get out and come to the house. He approached, I hadn't been paying any attention.

"You alright?" He asked, confusion written on his face.

"Yeah, in a sense." The confused looked never left, but he followed me into the house anyways.

"Are you feeling sick still?"

"No... for now." I whispered the last two words to myself.

"Then what's up?"

"What I'm going to tell you is big. You can't completely spaz out on me, alright?"

"I won't. Now, tell me." He laughed, but I didn't join in. I was still afraid of his reaction. I led him to the bathroom, and pulled the test out from under the sink. I unrolled them carefully, making sure not to jar them- or touch the urine. I laid them out on the sink, and allowed Alex to look. All three damn test showing little plus signs.

"Your- Your pregnant?" He looked at me. I nodded my head slowly, bowing it. I'm sure my lip was close to bleeding due to how hard I was biting it. I looked up, and Alex was still starting at me. He took a step towards me, and a flinched a little.

Stupid fucking Ronnie.

He noticed, and stopped. Then her started again. But he didn't hit me. He was hugging me. I hugged back, completely relieved.

"Your.. Your okay with this?" I asked him, still in shock.

"Of course! Why wouldn't I be?!" He exclaimed, hands on my arms.

"I... I don't know. Ronnie wasn't.. So it's not the reaction I was expecting." I explained.

"Baby, I'm not that stupid fucker. I love you too much to do that to you." He laughed, shaking his head, and kissing my lips softly.