Everyone Has a Fear
Fear
Blonde hair stuck to my forehead, damp with sweat and white teeth dug into my lower lip, blood being drawn out from it as the skin split.
On my feet I had my favourite Converse and on my head I had my hat. But what point was there in wearing outdoor stuff when I couldn’t even take a step out of my flat where I had been for over two months? I had almost forgotten how the nature looked when you saw it outside instead of through a window. There was snow outside and I wanted to take some in my hand and let it melt on my warm skin. But to touch the snow I had to be outside my flat and it just didn’t work. I was scared. I didn’t dare to open the door and go outside.
I threw my shoes to the side and tossed the hat into the pile of clothes in a corner before I with a sigh headed back into the living room where I laid down on the sofa, snatching the TV-remote from the coffee table and I flicked through the channels. But I found no lust to watch TV, the concentrate I needed to focus on what I watched was not there. I was bothered by the thought of longing to go outside and run through the snow with a smile on my lips. The sky was so beautiful, almost white so it was matching what clad the grass that was originally green and the trees that were actually brown – but now white.
I was afraid of the humanity, people scared me with the ways they acted and nothing in the human world made any sense to me. I had times where I wouldn’t watch TV because the invention, TV, was so weird to me. How could you put on a little box and watch things?
I was even afraid of myself sometimes, when I thought about the human body. How could we move our legs, arms and just any part of our body? How could we move our lips and form words? I didn’t understand what people told me about why we could do everything. I was convinced by myself that it was all lies and would stop listening after a minute of talking.
Slowly I reached out for the phone on the table and I dialed a number I knew without looking at the note I had gotten from him.
“Danny?” I whimpered in the phone and when I heard his sweet, calm voice answer me with a small but comforting ‘hi, Tom’, I thought I was going to pass out. “Danny can you come over to me?”
“Yeah, of course I can. I’m out already so I’ll be with you in about five minutes, okay?” he answered and I nodded, not thinking of the fact that he couldn’t see me. I went from being low to feeling excited about him coming even though he came to my flat very often, whenever I called him on his mobile phone.
When he got to my flat he just walked in. I heard the sound of him taking his shoes and winter jacket off but I never went out to say hi to him. I remained laying in the sofa, now with a blanket covering me in my search for warmth. Cold air enveloped the living room from nowhere and I began to freeze. I didn’t like the cold, not when it was inside the place where all my safety existed.
“Hey Tom, what’s up?” asked Danny and I whimpered at how beautiful he was when he showed up in my living room. He had a bright smile on his beautiful, pink lips and curls fell like a waterfall over his blue eyes when he ran a hand through his hair. I loved his curls, they were so cute and fit him perfectly. His eyes shone with happiness and he dropped down next to me as I forced myself up in sitting position. I threw the blanket of off me and shuffled close to him, arms wrapped around him automatically.
“I tried to leave the flat today.” I mumbled.
“Oh, how did it go?”
I sighed and shrugged. “Couldn’t do it. And I’ve ran out of food.”
“I can hear and see that on you. Baby, it’s a week since I was here, haven’t you called someone else to ask them to buy you some food? Because you’re skinny and I hear your tummy calling for some food.”
“I only want you to be with me. And you know exactly what food I like and you keep me company. No one else does that and no one else understands.”
“Oh Tommyboy…” He rested his head against mine and I contently sighed when we shuffled so he could wrap his arms around my thin body.
Not another word was said between us, we sat in silence and peace and I enjoyed the closeness we shared. He’d been away for a week and while he’d been away I hadn’t eaten anything and I basically went mad because of the loneliness I felt. No one of my other ‘friends’ came to visit me and they all knew about my fear of being outside the flat and I was longing so much for Danny to come home again.
“Would you like to make another try to go out? You know I will be with you.” Danny murmured in my ear and he kissed my lips softly with his warm lips. I shivered and closed my eyes while I held onto him tighter.
“Only if you will be with me.” I sighed. “I liked that kiss. You’ve never done that before.”
“Of course I will be with you, baby. And that kiss was because I love you. You’re my best friend and I want to show you that I am here for you and that I’m here with you. But you haven’t really told me before, about why you are so afraid of being outside. Why is it like that?”
“It’s the people.”
“Aw, okay.”
He untangled himself from me and stood up, correcting his pants and then reached out a hand to help me up from the sofa. I shivered at the lack of warmth as the cold enveloped me and hand in hand he walked with me out in the hall so we could get our jackets and shoes on.
“Ready?” He placed a hand on the door handle and I nodded with fear sliding through my system and I clutched Danny’s hand in mine. I whimpered when he opened the door and took a step backwards while he tried to walk out. “Baby, it will be fine. You trust me, right? Everyone is afraid of something and that you are afraid of this, it’s perfectly normal.”
“No.” I breathed the word out.
“Yes it is, and I’m here to help you. I love you, and I care about you, and I want to help you through this. You know it.”
Danny let go of the door handle and he came closer to me, hands resting on my cheeks and his body pressed against mine. Our eye contact we now shared seemed to last forever before he leant in, face cocked to the side slightly and he allowed our lips to meet. My eyes closed and I lifted my hands to let them rest on his shoulders while a hundred thoughts rushed through my mind because of the kiss.
Pulling away, he smiled at me when seeing me blush and once more he took my hand in his.
“I’m here?” I nodded at his words and slowly I allowed him to walk with me out of the flat. I felt uncomfortable as we walked outside and I wanted to run back into my safe place but whenever Danny looked at me with eyes glistering I felt that no, I was going to do this, I was going to walk outside into the snow with him and get over my fear of being out in the free along with people that acted weird even though that outside my mind they acted perfectly normal, they acted like humans but I just didn’t see that through the layer of poison that stained my mind which only Danny could break through.
“It’s snowing.” I gasped.
“Yeah, and you’re not only seeing it through a thick glass-window.” smiled Danny, turning to face me and he once more pressed his lips against mine. “I love your lips.” he whispered as he broke apart a short moment later. “And congratulations for being outside after God knows how long of being isolated.”
- FIN.
On my feet I had my favourite Converse and on my head I had my hat. But what point was there in wearing outdoor stuff when I couldn’t even take a step out of my flat where I had been for over two months? I had almost forgotten how the nature looked when you saw it outside instead of through a window. There was snow outside and I wanted to take some in my hand and let it melt on my warm skin. But to touch the snow I had to be outside my flat and it just didn’t work. I was scared. I didn’t dare to open the door and go outside.
I threw my shoes to the side and tossed the hat into the pile of clothes in a corner before I with a sigh headed back into the living room where I laid down on the sofa, snatching the TV-remote from the coffee table and I flicked through the channels. But I found no lust to watch TV, the concentrate I needed to focus on what I watched was not there. I was bothered by the thought of longing to go outside and run through the snow with a smile on my lips. The sky was so beautiful, almost white so it was matching what clad the grass that was originally green and the trees that were actually brown – but now white.
I was afraid of the humanity, people scared me with the ways they acted and nothing in the human world made any sense to me. I had times where I wouldn’t watch TV because the invention, TV, was so weird to me. How could you put on a little box and watch things?
I was even afraid of myself sometimes, when I thought about the human body. How could we move our legs, arms and just any part of our body? How could we move our lips and form words? I didn’t understand what people told me about why we could do everything. I was convinced by myself that it was all lies and would stop listening after a minute of talking.
Slowly I reached out for the phone on the table and I dialed a number I knew without looking at the note I had gotten from him.
“Danny?” I whimpered in the phone and when I heard his sweet, calm voice answer me with a small but comforting ‘hi, Tom’, I thought I was going to pass out. “Danny can you come over to me?”
“Yeah, of course I can. I’m out already so I’ll be with you in about five minutes, okay?” he answered and I nodded, not thinking of the fact that he couldn’t see me. I went from being low to feeling excited about him coming even though he came to my flat very often, whenever I called him on his mobile phone.
When he got to my flat he just walked in. I heard the sound of him taking his shoes and winter jacket off but I never went out to say hi to him. I remained laying in the sofa, now with a blanket covering me in my search for warmth. Cold air enveloped the living room from nowhere and I began to freeze. I didn’t like the cold, not when it was inside the place where all my safety existed.
“Hey Tom, what’s up?” asked Danny and I whimpered at how beautiful he was when he showed up in my living room. He had a bright smile on his beautiful, pink lips and curls fell like a waterfall over his blue eyes when he ran a hand through his hair. I loved his curls, they were so cute and fit him perfectly. His eyes shone with happiness and he dropped down next to me as I forced myself up in sitting position. I threw the blanket of off me and shuffled close to him, arms wrapped around him automatically.
“I tried to leave the flat today.” I mumbled.
“Oh, how did it go?”
I sighed and shrugged. “Couldn’t do it. And I’ve ran out of food.”
“I can hear and see that on you. Baby, it’s a week since I was here, haven’t you called someone else to ask them to buy you some food? Because you’re skinny and I hear your tummy calling for some food.”
“I only want you to be with me. And you know exactly what food I like and you keep me company. No one else does that and no one else understands.”
“Oh Tommyboy…” He rested his head against mine and I contently sighed when we shuffled so he could wrap his arms around my thin body.
Not another word was said between us, we sat in silence and peace and I enjoyed the closeness we shared. He’d been away for a week and while he’d been away I hadn’t eaten anything and I basically went mad because of the loneliness I felt. No one of my other ‘friends’ came to visit me and they all knew about my fear of being outside the flat and I was longing so much for Danny to come home again.
“Would you like to make another try to go out? You know I will be with you.” Danny murmured in my ear and he kissed my lips softly with his warm lips. I shivered and closed my eyes while I held onto him tighter.
“Only if you will be with me.” I sighed. “I liked that kiss. You’ve never done that before.”
“Of course I will be with you, baby. And that kiss was because I love you. You’re my best friend and I want to show you that I am here for you and that I’m here with you. But you haven’t really told me before, about why you are so afraid of being outside. Why is it like that?”
“It’s the people.”
“Aw, okay.”
He untangled himself from me and stood up, correcting his pants and then reached out a hand to help me up from the sofa. I shivered at the lack of warmth as the cold enveloped me and hand in hand he walked with me out in the hall so we could get our jackets and shoes on.
“Ready?” He placed a hand on the door handle and I nodded with fear sliding through my system and I clutched Danny’s hand in mine. I whimpered when he opened the door and took a step backwards while he tried to walk out. “Baby, it will be fine. You trust me, right? Everyone is afraid of something and that you are afraid of this, it’s perfectly normal.”
“No.” I breathed the word out.
“Yes it is, and I’m here to help you. I love you, and I care about you, and I want to help you through this. You know it.”
Danny let go of the door handle and he came closer to me, hands resting on my cheeks and his body pressed against mine. Our eye contact we now shared seemed to last forever before he leant in, face cocked to the side slightly and he allowed our lips to meet. My eyes closed and I lifted my hands to let them rest on his shoulders while a hundred thoughts rushed through my mind because of the kiss.
Pulling away, he smiled at me when seeing me blush and once more he took my hand in his.
“I’m here?” I nodded at his words and slowly I allowed him to walk with me out of the flat. I felt uncomfortable as we walked outside and I wanted to run back into my safe place but whenever Danny looked at me with eyes glistering I felt that no, I was going to do this, I was going to walk outside into the snow with him and get over my fear of being out in the free along with people that acted weird even though that outside my mind they acted perfectly normal, they acted like humans but I just didn’t see that through the layer of poison that stained my mind which only Danny could break through.
“It’s snowing.” I gasped.
“Yeah, and you’re not only seeing it through a thick glass-window.” smiled Danny, turning to face me and he once more pressed his lips against mine. “I love your lips.” he whispered as he broke apart a short moment later. “And congratulations for being outside after God knows how long of being isolated.”
- FIN.