Crawling Back To You

Kevin’s POV

“What are you doing here, D?” Megan asked, concern replacing the shock.

“I—” Dina started. Her eyes locked with mine, and as soon as they did, that feeling came back into my gut—the feeling that only I experience with her. Not even the newfound feelings I’ve begun to experience with Lexie could really compare.

“I made a huge mistake. I left something amazing behind and I shouldn’t have. So I’m here because, I want it, no, I need it back. I need you in my life, Kevin.”

It’s amazing how no words need to be spoken to portray feelings. I could see Dina’s emotions in her eyes—regret, sorrow—as I’m sure she could see my emotions in mine—shock, confusion. All the background noise was taken away. All my focus and attention was on the two brown eyes staring back at me. I heard no voices from the party, I heard no laughter, I heard no rain pattering on the roof or outside.

Is Dina really here right now? Is Dina actually standing at my door? Did Dina just sit through a six hour flight to stand on my front porch in the pouring rain to admit her mistakes and tell me she loves me?

“Hey Kev, Lexie and I are going to head back to the party. Just yell out if you need me,” Megan said, interrupting my thoughts. Oh no.

I shut my eyes tightly. I could now feel those blue eyes staring at the back of my head. At this point, I was torn. If I turn around to look at Lexie, Dina could be gone when I look back. She could vanish, like this is all just a dream. But if I keep my eyes on Dina, I could lose Lexie. After a few moments of thinking, I followed my gut.

“Yeah,” I said, turning around. I made sure my eyes met Lexie’s before I added, “I’ll be there in a little bit.”

Lexie’s face turned skeptical, but I gave her a reassuring nod. A small smile appeared on her face as she and Megan headed back towards the party. Slowly turning around, I felt relieved to see Dina still standing there.

“It looks like you’re busy,” Dina regretfully stated. She turned around and took three steps down off of the porch. “I shouldn’t have come here. I’m sorry, Kevin.”

“No, Dina! Stop!” It took a few moments for my mind to catch up to my feet. The next thing I felt was the heavy rain hitting me all over. Dina wouldn’t stop walking, despite the calls I made to her. Now slightly jogging, I placed my hand on her shoulder and stepped in front of her, forcing her to stop.

“Kevin, it’s fine. Let me go,” she pleaded.

“I’m not letting you go. Again.”

I wrapped my arms around her neck, pulling her body close to mine. Her arms found their way around my torso, like old times. I forgot what this felt like. Memories flooded into my mind, and into my heart. The memories’ overwhelming impact made me pull away.

“Look at you, you’re soaking wet. Look at me, I am too,” I laughed. “Let’s get inside. We can talk in my room.”

I led Dina into the house. She took one step in and immediately, a grin found its way to her face as she looked around, realizing everything was still the same. I shut the door and leaned back against it as I watched Dina approach the stairs, dragging her hand up the wooden banister. Following her up the steps, a sigh escaped my lips as the nerves began to take over.

I grabbed some towels as Dina waited for me in my room. When I walked in, handing her one, I found Dina holding the picture frame on my nightstand. I never had the courage to remove it; I woke up every morning, looking at it. Even though we were broken up, it always seemed to start my day off on the right foot.

“You still have this,” Dina said, somewhat surprised.

“Yeah, I do,” I responded, as she took the towel from my hand. She began to dry herself off as I tried to find the perfect words to say. “It reminds me of good times.”

“Can we sit?” Nodding, I pulled my desk chair over to the edge of the bed where Dina already placed herself. When we were both situated, she continued on. “Kevin, we can go back to those good times. I know I hurt you, and I know this is going to take a lot of convincing, but I’m willing to do whatever it takes because at the end of the day, I want you calling me and saying goodnight. I want you randomly texting me when you’re in the middle of an interview and you’re bored out of your mind. I want you to smile because of me. Bottom line, I want you, Kevin. I need you, Kevin.”

“Dina, believe me, I would love to go back to those times. But when you left, my God, you have no idea what that did to me. You threw my heart around like it was a ball, like you didn’t care about it at all. If you didn’t care about my heart, you didn’t care about me.”

“No, that’s not true. You know I cared about you. You need to know that I still care about you.”

“Do you?”

“Kevin, do you honestly think I would be here right now if I didn’t care about you? Do you think I would have put up with a three hour delay, sit on a plane for six hours, sit in L.A. traffic for an hour, and confess the love that I still have for you in the pouring rain if I didn’t care?”

“Okay, you’re right. You care about me, and I care about you. But can you put yourself in my shoes for a second? Would you take me back if I did to you what you did to me? Just like that?”

“I, um.”

As Dina stumbled on her words, the decision I had made moments before became more set in stone. She knows she did wrong. She knows if she ever did something like that again, she would lose me for good. She learned her lesson.

“I’m sorry, Dina. I don’t think I can just drop everything and be with you again. You hurt me more than I can describe to you, more than I can describe to anyone. I don’t feel like I can trust you anymore. So I guess what I’m saying is, I think we should both keep trying to move on.”

“Are, are you sure that’s what you want?” she asked, her bottom lip trembling.

“I wouldn’t say it’s what I want, but I will say that it’s what I think we need to do.”

“I respect that.”

“You do?” Those three words took me back. She isn’t going to freak out on me?

“Yeah. I have the utmost respect for you, Kevin Jonas, and I respect every decision you make.”

“Thank you, Dina. That’s really big of you.”

“Can you promise me something though? Can we be friends? Can we talk?”

“I have an interview tomorrow. When I get bored, I’ll text you.” We both laughed. It was nice to hear our laughs harmonize again.

Dina rose to her feet as she said, “Alright well, I think I should go.”

“What? No. Stay for the party.”

“Party? Oh, it’s your dad’s birthday, isn’t it?”

“You remembered?”

“Of course?”

“Please stay? I’m sure my family would want to see you.”

“After what I did to you? I highly doubt that.”

“No really, they still love you.”

“Thanks, but I have to get to my sister’s house. I’ll definitely say hi though. Let’s go.”

“Wait, do you want to borrow some clothes? Yours are still all wet.”

“Thanks Kev, but really, I’m fine. I’ll change when I get to my sister’s anyway.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yes, Kevin. I’m sure. Thank you,” Dina said, heading for the door. I followed still slightly wet. When we reached the steps, Dina stopped and turned her head in my direction. “She’s cute,” she said.

“Who?”

“That girl that was with Megan. She’s cute.”

“Oh, Lexie. Yeah, she is.”

Those twenty seconds that were spent walking down the steps were incredibly awkward. If the comment about Lexie didn’t cause the slight tension, it was definitely the silence between us. Luckily, as we reached the bottom, some people appeared from around the corner.

“Dina! You’re actually here! I thought Megan was lying!”

“Nope, I’m actually here, Joe. How are you?” Dina and Joe went into a hug.

“I’m doing good, thanks. How are you?”

“I am,” Dina started, before glancing very quickly at me with just her eyes, “hopefully going to be okay soon.”

As Dina greeted the rest of my family, I felt horrible listening to her tell them that she was doing okay. Despite her choices and her actions that caused me pain, I still want her to be happy. I tried to convince myself she will be happy. You’re moving on Kevin, and she will, too.

“Alright, well I better be going. My sister is waiting for me. Happy Birthday again, Paul! It was really nice to see you all,” Dina interrupted my thoughts.

“I’ll walk you out.”

I opened the door and noticed that it had stopped raining. It was like the rain was some kind of sign—a sign that Dina was coming? And now that the rain has stopped and the weather is looking better, so is our situation. We’re going to be okay.

“Oh good, it stopped raining. That was miserable,” Dina said. Yeah, so was I when you left.

“Yeah, I’m glad it cleared up.” Yeah, I’m glad we’re cleared up. Dina pulled out her cell phone. I realized it was obviously to call a cab. I waited with her where the front walk meets the driveway while she recited my address.

“I’ll wait with you,” I told her upon hanging up the phone.

“What? Kevin, absolutely not. Go back to your dad’s party.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive. Thank you, Kevin.”

“It was nice to see you,” I said, as I pulled her into my arms.

“You too. Can we talk tomorrow?”

“Our interview starts at 9. I give it…fifteen minutes before I get bored. So I’ll talk to you around 9:16 tomorrow morning.”

“Sounds great,” she laughed.

“Alright, safe trip to your sister’s. Tell her I say hi.”

“I will do that.”

I turned around and walked back towards the house. I found myself only looking back once, when I reached the door. Entering the house, I slowly shut the door behind me. Joe was standing there, arms across his chest and a silly smirk on his face.

“What’s the face for?” I asked him.

“Can you say…love triangle?”

“Dude, shut up.” Although it wasn’t funny, for me at least, I couldn’t help but laugh anyway, looking at the face Joe was making at me. “Hey Joe, do you know where Lexie is?”

“Megan said she went outside in the backyard.”

“Did Megan go with her?”

“Lexie said she wanted to be alone.”

“Crap.”