Crawling Back To You

Megan’s POV

Tara spent the next few days with my family. Being with Tara and Nick at the same time confused me. Being with Tara makes me miss my life in New Jersey, but being with Nick makes me love the fact that we moved out to California. All things Jonas aside, I was still extremely sad to see my best friend go. Putting her on a plane back to New Jersey undeniably sucked, but the time we spent together was filled with good times.

When I woke up this morning, something didn’t feel right. As I got ready for practice, I did my best to ignore the aching all over my body as well as the nausea in my stomach. I couldn’t keep my mind off the fact that it was the day of the Grammys, arguably the biggest night of the Jonas Brothers’ career thus far. Nick invited me as his date, obviously, so I was going to walk the red carpet with them. I tried to convince myself that these weird feelings I was experiencing had to do with my nerves for the boys, but I couldn’t get myself to buy it.

When I arrived at practice, I had very little energy to put forth. My teammates, my coach and the training staff noticed my sluggish behavior. Coach pulled me aside and told me I didn’t look good and she sent me home an hour into practice. The ride home was a weird one. One minute I was sweating, rolling down all the windows in the car. The next minute, I would be shivering, rolling up all the windows and turning on the heat, something rarely used by people in California.

I parked my car in the driveway and walked immediately towards the house, only grabbing my phone and leaving all my other belongings in the car. Exhaustion took over me, but I had no idea why. I had gotten plenty of sleep the night before, which made me even more confused about what I was feeling as I walked into the kitchen.

“Megan, what are you doing home?” Mom asked, looking up from her newspaper at the kitchen table.

“Coach said I didn’t look so good, so she sent me home.”

“Well, she’s right. You don’t look good at all. Do you feel okay?”

“I feel horrible. My whole body aches, I’m tired, I’m kind of nauseas, I’m hot one minute, cold the next minute.”

“Go lay down upstairs. I’ll be right there.”

Nodding in agreement, I slowly schlepped up the stairs en route to my bedroom. The only thing that kept me from collapsing on the stairs or in the hallway was the idea of my comfortable bed soothing my pain. The more I walked, the dizzier I felt. I rarely get sick, so as more symptoms surfaced, my worry deepened.

My body crumbled as I fell onto the bed, letting the sheets absorb my body. Putting my legs under the sheets, I pulled the covers up to my chin, going through one of my cold phases. The longer I stared at the ceiling, the heavier my eyelids felt. Trying to fight the temptation, I forced my eyes to stay open, at least until Mom came up.

“Megan,” Mom said, entering my room, “Can you sit up? I want to take your temperature.”

Unhurried, I sat up, allowing my mom to put the thermometer in my ear. At the sound of the beep, Mom slowly pulled the thermometer into view, reading the number. “Oh gosh, Meg.”

“What is it?” I asked, returning my head to the pillow and stripping off all the blankets, feeling a hot phase coming on.

“102.3 degrees.”

“This cannot be happening. I have to go to the Grammys tonight!”

“I’m sorry Meg, but I really don’t think there is any way you’ll be able to go tonight. You’re too sick.”

As much as I didn’t want to admit my mother was right, I had to. I feel beyond miserable and I don’t want to take the chance of getting any of the boys sick.

“You should really get some rest, sweetie. Call Nick now and let him know what’s going on. I’ll go get some things for you downstairs.” Mom placed a light kiss on my warm forehead before leaving the room. I begrudgingly grabbed my phone, hitting Nick’s speed dial number.

“Megan?” Nick asked, his voice confused.

“Hey,” was my simple response.

“Shouldn’t you be at practice, babe?”

“Nick, I am so sorry.”

“What? What are you talking about?” I could hear the level of concern rising in his voice with every word he said.

“Coach sent me home from practice early. I felt awful and she could tell. I have the chills, I’m exhausted, my entire body aches, I’m nauseas. As much as I hate to say it, I think I’m too sick to go tonight.”

“No, Meg. You’re probably just nervous for us. I’m feeling all those things right now, too.”

“Do you also have a 102.3 temperature?”

“No. You do? Are you kidding?”

“Yeah, Nick. I’m making up a reason to get out of going to the Grammys with you. Of course I’m not kidding. I feel atrocious.”

“Aww baby girl. This sucks!”

“I’m so upset. I haven’t been sick in years and of course, I get sick on this night!”

“It’s okay, Meg. Do you want me to come see you?”

“You can’t. I can’t take the chance of giving you whatever I have.”

“But I want to see you. I want to make you feel better.”

“I appreciate that, but you can’t.”

“Alright. Well, take some medicine and get some rest. Feel better, please?”

“I’ll try. I’ll be watching you tonight. Good luck, baby. You’ll do great.”

“Thanks. Can I stop by after the show?”

“Don’t you have an after party to go to?”

“I’ll go for a little bit, but you are much more important.”

“We’ll see how I feel.”

“You can do that, but I’m coming anyway. So I’ll see you later.”

“You are so stubborn. Fine, see you later. I love you, Nick. Keep the nerves down. You’re going to be amazing.”

“I love you too, Megan. Rest up and I’ll talk to you later.” After ending the call, I took Nick’s advice and let myself drift off to sleep.

Four hours later, I awoke to Colin shaking my shoulder. “Megan, you have to get up. The red carpet coverage starts in a few minutes.”

“Time flew,” I stated, rubbing my eyes.

“Yes it did. Where do you want to watch? Up here or downstairs on the big screen?”

“Big screen for sure,” I said, emerging from my cocoon of blankets.

Downstairs, the TV was already on the right channel and the red carpet coverage was literally just starting. Ryan Seacrest was doing his little welcome introduction as I laid on the couch, taking up the entire thing. Colin lovingly placed a blanket over me before taking a seat on the chair to my left.

“What better way to start off the night of interviews than with the three most famous brothers in the country. Ladies and gentlemen, nominated for Best New Artist, the Jonas Brothers! How are you guys doing this evening?”

“We’re doing great. Being here around all these amazing people, most of whom we look up to, is incredible,” Kevin answered.

“Well you all are looking very sharp. Joe and Kevin, your ladies are looking dazzling as well. Nick, I can’t help but notice you’re flying solo tonight. Where is Megan?

“Megan was all set to come but woke up feeling a bit under the weather. Actually, more than a bit. She has a crazy high temperature of like, 102 degrees.”

“So she’s burning up?!” Ryan joked. The boys just smiled, seeing as the joke was no longer funny to them. “Yeah, that was a weak joke. I apologize. Poor Megan, that’s so unfortunate.”

“Yeah, she’s upset she’s not here but it’s out of her control. I know she’s watching though so, hey Megan! Hope you’re feeling better!” Nick spoke directly into the camera, a smile tugging at my lips.

“Well best of luck to you guys tonight,” Ryan concluded. The boys shook hands with him before proceeding down the red carpet.

The red carpet program continued. Colin kept conversation flowing between him and me, preventing me from falling back asleep. The cool thing about the Grammys is that there are almost as many, if not as many, performances as awards handed out during the televised show. This keeps the show more alive and entertaining.

Nick texted me from backstage saying they were going on in five minutes. I had butterflies in my stomach, although I’m not sure why. These boys have performed hundreds of times. But never have they performed on the Grammy stage and never have they performed with Stevie Wonder, an ultimate legend.

Presenters came out and started talking. A man and a woman were babbling on, but their words weren’t registering in my brain. It was in one ear and out the other as I waited for some kind of tip off. When the word brothers was said, my brain refocused on the television. The camera panned to the stage, and that’s when I saw them. The first thing I took notice to was Joe’s necklace. Uh, where did he get that?

The boys gathered around Stevie who was jamming out on the piano. The transition from Burnin’ Up to Superstition was subtle yet perfect. The energy radiating off of the all four males was incredible. I haven’t seen them this hyped up for a performance in a long time.

“Very superstitious, writing’s on the wall. Very superstitious, ladders ‘bout to fall,” Stevie sang his classic.

“Hey Stevie, mind if I take this?” Nick yelled into the mic. I smiled at his enthusiasm.

“Take it, Nick!” Stevie replied.

“Very sup—month old baby,” Nick sang, his eyes instantly shutting tightly in disbelief.

My eyes widened as my hand shot up to cover my open mouth. Nick continued to sing and play as if nothing happened, as if he didn’t just mess up the lyrics to one of the most known songs ever written.

“Oh shit,” Colin whispered.

“I can see it in his face. He is so mad at himself right now. Look--he’s so upset!”

“Wow, good luck with his one. When are you going to talk to him next?” Colin asked.

“He said he’d text me after the performance. What am I supposed to say to him?!”

“I don’t know, but you better think fast,” Colin concluded, as the performance’s end was drawing near.

Colin was wrong. I didn’t have to think fast. Nick didn’t text me after the performance and he didn’t text me after they lost the Best New Artist award. Now, the show was over, and my inbox still has not been graced with a text from my boyfriend. I let out a long sigh, thinking about what Nick could be doing right now. I know Nick and I know how hard he can be on himself. Nick is a perfectionist and when he messes up, he doesn’t let it go easily.

“Call him,” Colin suggested.

Grabbing my phone, I hit Nick’s speed dial number, déjà vu from a few hours prior. Usually I can make him feel better when he’s down. As the phone continued to ring, I hung on to that little bit of hope that I would be able to succeed again.

“Hello?” he answered. His nonchalant voice already had me worried.

“Baby, hey.”

“Hi Megan.”

“How are you?”

“Fine,” was his short answer. No elaboration, no enthusiasm.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure,” Nick scoffed.

“Nick, I can hear it in your voice that you’re not fine. Talk to me.”

“If you watched the performance, you know why I’m not fine.”

“So you fumbled a word or two. It didn’t ruin the performance. You guys did great!”

“No. Joe and Kevin did great. I sucked.”

“Stop it. No, you didn’t!” I was trying my best to sooth him, but he wasn’t having it. I knew this was going to be harder than expected. “Other than that minor slip up, you were amazing.”

“Other than that minor slip up? Megan, that MINOR slip up is what everyone is going to remember about that performance. I am no longer Nick Jonas, the youngest member of the Jonas Brothers. I am now Nick Jonas, that 16 year old kid who messed up the great Stevie Wonder’s lyrics at the Grammys!” Nick yelled into the phone.

As my body began to shake, I tried my best to use my most soothing voice. “Nick, take a breath and calm down. Lower your voice, please.”

“Don’t tell me to lower my voice. If I want to yell, I’m going to yell.”

“What has gotten into you?”

“What has gotten into me? I just made a huge mistake on national television. On the most important stage in the music industry.”

“You got caught up in the excitement. It’s not a big deal.”

“Why don’t you get that this is a big deal, Megan! This is a huge deal and the public is going to eat me alive for it.”

“Who cares what they think, Nick! You went out there, you had a good time and you did your best.”

“If that was my best, I’m quitting this business.”

“Don’t talk like that.”

The silence on the other end was killing me. All I could hear was the breathing pattern of his inhales and exhales.

“God, I am so pissed off.”

“I’m sorry, Nick.”

“Sorry isn’t going to make this better, is it? Sorry isn’t going to rewind time and make me not mess up, is it? Sorry isn’t going to bring you here, is it?”

“Is that what this is about? That I’m not there?”

“I really need you right now. I need your arms around me telling me this is going to be okay.”

“I am telling you it is going to be okay!”

“But you’re not here!”

“You said it yourself, Nick. It’s out of my control. If I didn’t have this ridiculous fever, I would be there and you know it.”

“Whatever, Megan.”

“You know what, Nick? I’m sick of this. I’m trying my best to comfort you with the given circumstances but you just won’t have it. So you know what, I’m done trying. There is absolutely no need for you to take your frustration out on me. This conversation is over, Nick. Do not even think about coming over later.”

I quickly hung up the phone and threw it into my lap as the tears began to fall out of my eyes. Colin was staring at me, absolutely appalled. I wouldn’t doubt if he heard the entire conversation, considering how loudly Nick was talking. How could he talk to me like that? How could he be blaming me for not being there for him? My phone began to vibrate again. Rolling my eyes, I grabbed it, hoping it wasn’t Nick.

“Hey Joe,” I said accepting the call, trying my best to hide the tears.

“Hey Meg, how are you feeling?”

“Wow Joe, thanks for asking. That’s something your jerk of a brother didn’t even do.”

“What did he do? Does this have something to do with the yelling and door slamming we heard? Wait, are you crying?” Joe asked. The tone of his voice rose with the last question he posed. However, his tone was filled with loving protection while Nick’s was filled with pure rage.

“He took out all of his frustration on me and blamed me for not being there to comfort him.”

“He did what? I’m going to kill him,” Joe stated. “Wait, he didn’t even ask you how you are feeling?”

“Nope. I feel terrible by the way. I think I’m gonna throw up.”

“Meg, I’m gonna let you go. Try and take it easy, and feel better okay? I’m going to go talk some sense into your boyfriend. Love you.”

“Love you too, Joe. And don’t even bother with your brother. He’s not even worth it.”

With that, I pressed the end call button. I pushed it a second time, holding it for longer, finally letting go when I saw my phone powering down. Wiping the remaining tears off my face, I ventured back upstairs, my bed as my final destination. However, before reaching my bed, I made an emergency pit stop in the bathroom. I did what I told Joe I thought I was going to do.

Nick’s POV

The anger in me was bubbling. How many times have I sung that frickin song? The one time it really matters, I mess it up. As I paced back and forth the vacant dressing room, the silence took a toll on me. I felt like screaming, as if it would somehow take away some of the frustration. A sudden and abrupt knock came on the door. Before I granted permission to whoever was disturbing me, the door flew open.

“Are you kidding me, Nick?” Joe’s voice was slightly raised, only adding to my aggravation.

“What do you want, Joe?” I asked, my voice rising just as high as his.

“Your girlfriend is home with some awful illness and you call her and blame her for not being here?”

“You don’t know anything,” I spat back.

“No, Nick. I do know something. We could all hear your freak out, so I called Megan. If one of us doesn’t know anything, it’s you! She didn’t need you yelling at her for your mistake. She was already suffering enough before you called her. Oh, but you wouldn’t know that, because you were too ignorant to even ask her how she was feeling! The world doesn’t revolve around Nick Jonas!” Joe shouted, turning his back to me, heading for the door.

“I really hope you’re happy with yourself, Nick,” Joe continued, his hand grasping the doorknob tightly letting out his own frustration. “Making your terribly sick girlfriend cry. Congratulations dude.”

Joe slammed the door shut, his words still lingering in my head. The more I replayed them, the more they burned my mind. How could I be so stupid? How could I be so selfish? I fell back onto the couch as I pulled out my phone, quickly dialing Megan’s number and putting my phone to my ear.

“Hey guys, it’s Megan. I didn’t get to my phone so leave—”

“Shit,” I said, hanging up the phone. Her voicemail wouldn’t help me get myself out of this hole I dug. Could anything help me out of this mess?

I convinced my parents to let us leave the after party early. My brothers and I were exhausted, which was proven as soon as we got home. Everyone went to their respective rooms and fell asleep. I, however, had difficulty falling asleep. Going to bed knowing Megan is mad at me makes me feel awful. The only thing I could think about was how I was going to make this right again. I needed to make this right again. And fast.

My eyes opened facing the clock as I heard my phone buzzing on my nightstand. Who and why is someone calling me at 6:15 in the morning? The name flashing across the screen brought nerves to my stomach.

“Hey Colin.”

“Look Nick, I know what happened between you and Megan last night. I was sitting next to her and could hear everything you were saying. Speaking as your girlfriend’s brother, what you did was way out of line. That tone of voice you took with my sister was unacceptable. I understand you were upset with yourself, but there was no need to take it out on her, especially in the state she was in.”

“I know I messed up, Colin. I really messed up. I’ve been thinking about it all—”

“That doesn’t matter right now,” Colin’s voice eagerly cut mine off. “Megan told me not to tell you, but this time and this time only I am going to go against my sister’s wishes. My mom just took her to the hospital. The fever just won’t go down—it’s actually going up. So now, speaking as your friend, and even though Meg may not be thrilled about it at first, I suggest you get your ass there.”