Crawling Back To You

Kevin’s POV

“Kevin, I need you! Now!”

As the lids slowly lifted, my eyes met a frantic Nick, barging into my room at some ungodly hour in the morning. A quick glance at the clock told me time was somewhere in the hour of six AM. Why Nick was in my room, and even awake, at such a time after such an eventful night was far beyond my comprehension.

“What’s going ohhhhhhhn, Nick?” A yawn completely took over the middle of my sentence.

“I need you right now. It’s an emergency.”

I sat up in my bed as I watched Nick run around my room, touching all my things. It took me a few moments to realize was he gathering my essentials—my blackberry, my keys, my wallet and my sunglasses formed a growing pile on my desk.

“Emergency?” I repeated, the word finally settling in.

“Colin just called me to tell me Megan went to the hospital because the fever is going up. I need you to drive me. Look at me, I’m freaking out! I don’t think I can get myself there safely but I need to get there now.”

As soon as Nick said hospital, I rapidly rose out of my bed, grabbing the jeans on the floor and slipping them over my boxers. Nick grabbed a sweatshirt from my closet and threw it in my direction. I swiftly brought it over my head, pulling it down the rest of the way to reveal Atlanta written across my chest. Grabbing the pile of things he created, Nick headed for the door as I grabbed one converse and quickly placed it on my foot. Standing up and spinning around, my eyes found the other shoe, sitting across the room.

Nick was struck with panic. I could tell by the way he was fidgeting, by the shakiness in his voice when he spoke. He had an extremely rough night last night, from messing up the lyrics to having his girlfriend pissed off at him. After lacing up my second shoe, I ran out of my room and down the hall. It’s a good thing my two currently dormant brothers could sleep through anything—otherwise my heavy footsteps would have woken them up.

When Nick was nowhere to be found in the kitchen, I continued running until I found myself at the driver side of my Tahoe, the car already running and Nick in the front seat. After sliding in, I looked over at Nick as I placed the seat belt across my chest. His elbows rested on his thighs, his palms covered his face, and his fingers were lost in the signature Jonas sea of curls.

“Calm down, Nick. Megan needs you to be strong for her,” I said, patting my brother on the shoulder after we were set on the road. He hadn’t changed his position, his head still hung down from defeat.

“She doesn’t want me there.”

“What?”

“She told Colin not to tell me she was going to the hospital.”

“She didn’t want you to know?”

“She is so mad at me, Kevin. She’s never been this mad at me before. I don’t think she knows Colin told me.”

“So Megan isn’t expecting you.”

“Don’t think so.”

Nick rested his chin in his palm as he focused his attention out the window. His leg bounced up and down uncontrollably, slowing wearing away at the carpet under his foot. The fact that Megan didn’t know Nick was going to be coming made me nervous, considering she obviously hasn’t forgiven him yet. But another part of me was disappointed in Megan for having no intentions of telling Nick that she was going to the hospital. She may be mad at him, but he still has the right to know his girlfriend is in danger, doesn’t he?

As soon as the car was put into park, Nick was halfway out the door. For a second I thought the seat catapulted Nick’s body, seeing as the speed he flew out of the car was almost unbelievable. I followed behind him, trying to catch up to his rapid pace. The automatic doors opened at the perfect moment, preventing both Nick and I from slowing down. Nick placed his hands on the front desk, bending his elbows as he leaned towards the lady who was working.

In a calm, collected tone, Nick asked, “Excuse me, can you tell me what room Megan Gibson is in?”

“I’m sorry, unless you’re family, you’re going to have to wait until visiting hours begin,” the lady replied, not even looking at Nick or giving him the time of day.

“I’m her boyfriend and she was just admitted and I’m freaking out and I need to see her,” Nick responded, his tranquil behavior turning flustered.

“Boyfriend, huh? So that means standing in front of me should be Nick Jo—” The secretary finally looked up from her endless piles of paperwork. I watched her eyes focus on Nick as embarrassment took over her reddening face. “—nas. Ummm…she’s in room….114.”

Nick immediately walked towards the door. “Sorry about him. Thank you very much,” I said over my shoulder, following my little brother.

“Nick, Kevin,” a voice came from the intersection we were approaching. “Hey guys,” Colin greeted us.

“How is she?” Nick immediately asked.

“It’s a bad case of the flu. They’re working on getting the fever down. Listen, Nick, Megan doesn’t exactly know that you’re here.”

“I can’t believe Megan would ask you not to tell Nick,” I expressed.

“I was surprised when she said it. I knew she was mad, but I didn’t know she was that mad.”

“What do you think she’ll do if I walk in there?” Nick’s barely audible voice spoke.

“There’s only one way to find out,” Colin replied.

Nick sighed, pivoting his feet towards the door that held his girlfriend behind it. I watched my brother try to pick his feet up, try to reach for the door, but something internal was holding him back. I could smell the fear radiating off of his body stronger than his Lacoste Essential cologne.

“I’m right here with you, Nick. I’m behind you one-hundred percent,” I whispered encouragingly into his ear. Slightly nodding, he grabbed the door handle, slowly moving it.

I stepped into the miserable atmosphere—a.k.a. the hospital room—right after Nick did. Colin stayed outside to make a phone call, my guess to Kristen or Mike. As I took in Megan’s motionless body hooked up to a few machines, a chill went down my spine. Hospitals make me feel very uncomfortable to begin with, but to see someone very important to you stuck in one brings the uneasiness to a whole new level.

Megan’s eyes remained closed as Nick walked over to the bedside. His hand reached out towards hers before he instantly pulled it back. I know he wanted to hold her hand, to rub her hair, to kiss her burning forehead. Nick wanted—needed—to provide comfort, but was unsure of what type of response he would receive.

“What are you doing here?” an awake and confused Megan asked.

“I—Colin called me.”

“He shouldn’t have.”

As I watched the scene unfold before me, I leaned my back against the cold wall, almost as cold as Megan was being towards Nick. Megan, sweet, loving Megan, had this horrible bitterness in her pained voice that even made me feel uncomfortable.

“Megan, please listen to me,” Nick pleaded, as my phone rattled in my pocket. Pulling it out, I was flabbergasted when I brought my attention to the reason behind the sudden vibration. Quietly and slowly backing up, I ducked out of the room, answering the call in the hallway.

“Dina, hey.”

“Hey Kev! Great job last night! I had a smile on my face during your entire performance. I’m so happy and so proud of you guys!” Dina enthusiastically exclaimed.

“Thanks so much, Dee. That means a lot to me. I’m glad you enjoyed it as much as we enjoyed it.”

“Oh, absolutely! Hands down the best part of the night!”

“Compared to the aftermath of it, yes, it was the best part of the night,” I sighed.

“What? What’s going on?”

“So you know how Nick kind of fumbled on his words a little bit?”

“Yeah, I heard it. It wasn’t that big of a deal!”

“To most people, it wouldn’t be.”

“But to Nick, of course it would be. So what happened?”

“Well Megan was home sick. She called him after the show because Nick hadn’t called her. He basically took out all of his building frustration on her and things did not end well. Now she’s in the hospital with a bad case of the flu. She told her brother not to tell Nick she was going to the hospital but he did anyway. So I’m here with him and he’s in there trying to plead his case but so far he’s failing to succeed.”

“You don’t think they’ll…do you?”

“No, no. I don’t think they will. At least, I hope not.”

“They won’t. They can’t. The world isn’t ready for that.”

“I know, I know. Nick will find a way to make it up to her. He somehow always does.”

“Kevin, I’m usually one to discourage getting involved in other people’s business, but this one might need your intervention. You can’t let Nick lose her like I let myself lose you.”

Her last few words lingered in my mind. Something about those words made what we had sound buried and gone, like there was no way of ever going back to those days. My heart sank a little in my chest. Here comes that jealousy again.

“Dina, you didn’t lose me—”

“Hold that thought for a sec,” Dina abruptly stopped me.

“If we don’t leave right now, we’re gonna be late babe,” a distant, male voice sounded. Babe?

“Hey Kev, I’m sorry, but I gotta run. Send Megan my get well wishes and make sure nothing detrimental happens with them, please?”

“Yeah, I will.”

“Dina, come on!” the voice shouted again.

“I’m sorry. I really have to go.”

“I know about Damien,” blurted out of my mouth, as if I had no control, no filter, from my thoughts to my mouth.

“You, um, what?”

“I know.”

“Can I call you back later?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“Bye Kev,” was the last thing I heard before the line went dead.

Slightly grunting, I trudged back into the hospital room with no anticipation for that phone call later. The last thing I want to do is have a conversation with Dina about her new “babe,” as I’m sure the last thing Dina wants to do is tell her old “babe” about her new “babe.”

After entering the boring, all-white room, the future phone call faded off my list of problems to deal with. Although the room was occupied by two people, it felt completely empty. For the first time, the glowing love that shines between Nick and Megan was not there.

Megan’s weak, fragile body was facing the windows, trying to soak in the world that was still going on around her. I could see her legs curled up under the blanket, her arms bent at the elbows as her hands provided more cushion for her head.

My eye’s traveled to Nick next. If it weren’t for his chest rising up and down, I swear he could have passed as a statue. His eyes stared at Megan’s back, as if his dark brown pupils could magically turn her body around to face him. Despair, rejection, and guilt hung over his head. Anyone looking at him would be able to see that. Why can’t Megan see that? For someone who has always been so forgiving, this time is surely a different case.

“Kevin.” Megan turned her head over her shoulder, her eyes grabbing and holding on to a connection with mine. “It’s time for you guys to leave.”

Nick abruptly stood up, the unexpected motion causing me to flinch. The chair that occupied his body only seconds before slid backwards as a result of his momentum. “Megan, no. Please. Let me stay.”

“I really think you should go,” Megan responded.

“I want to be here for you. I’ll be here in case you need anything. It’s the least I can do. I just want to make sure you’re okay,” my brother rambled on.

“If you love me, you’ll leave.”

Nick’s shoulders fell in defeat. He had officially lost the undeclared battle. Megan trapped him and he had nowhere to go. Nick loves her, therefore having no choice but to leave. As Nick approached me, my whole heart went out to him. In his entire seventeen years of existence, I have never seen Nicholas Jerry Jonas look so down, look like he was officially throwing in the towel.

I put my hand on Nick’s shoulder, giving him the slight push he needed to work up the courage to step out of that room. Leading him to the bench outside Megan’s room, he sat down sluggishly, his head immediately falling into his hands. I took a seat next to him, gently rubbing my hand on his back as a sign of comfort.

“If she loves me, she’ll let me stay,” Nick murmured, breaking his silence.

“I’ll be right back,” I said.

I walked back towards Megan’s room, walking away from my brother, currently on the verge of tears. Megan’s body was still facing away from the door. Her body turned when she heard someone enter her room.

“Megan, I need to talk to you for a second.”

“Why won’t he leave?”

“Do you really blame him, Megan? He doesn’t want to leave the hospitalized girl he is in love with. I don’t find that so unbelievable,” I spoke in a gentle tone.

“I’m just…so mad at him. What he did was…” her saddened voice trailed off.

“Look, I know he was a huge jerk last night and I know you’re freaked out by the rare, angry side of Nick. I don’t know what he said to you but based on your reaction, it was obviously some pretty bad stuff. I wish you could have seen him last night and this morning, and even right now, Meg. I’ve never seen him, or anyone for that matter, as sorry as he is. Ever. Bottom line is he needs you and you need him through all these ups and downs life is throwing at you guys. Although you’re mad at him now and the thought of being with him is not a happy one, you’ll regret it any other way than not being with him.”

I redirected my attention to my phone, which had vibrated towards the end of my little spiel.

1 Received Text Message: Dina Cordon
6:57 a.m.- I’m sorry you didn’t hear it from me.

“Who is it?” Megan asked, her voice a mixture of annoyance and intrigue.

“Dina.”

“Dina texted you just as you said the word regret? What a coincidence.”

Megan’s words hit me hard. The spice in her tone was unintentional, simply coming from her anger and illness. What struck me the most was how right she was. Dina texting me as I’m talking about regretting past actions must be some kind of sign. Do I regret letting her slip through my hands the night of my dad’s party? Do I regret letting her walk out of my life for the second time?

“Kevin, please. Just, please keep him out. I’m a tad overwhelmed with other things right now, such as my body temperature being 103.4 degrees. Nick being in here staring at me isn’t going to help.”

“Alright, I’ll do that for you. I’ll take him home. Will you do something for me? Forgive him. He’s human. He makes mistakes. He said things he didn’t mean. We all say things we don’t mean sometimes.”

“I’ll think about it. I can’t do anything but think in this stupid room anyway.”

“That’s all I ask. Feel better, sweetie,” I said, kissing the top of her head lightly.

She nodded lightly before closing her eyes in an attempt to get some sleep. Outside, I found Nick exactly how I left him. I grabbed his arm, aiding him in standing up. I knew I had to get him home. If Nick stayed here any longer, every gossip website and news station would have firsthand accounts and maybe even pictures of Nick Jonas completely losing it in the middle of a hospital.

Nick and I successfully made it to the parking lot before a tear fell from his eye. I kept a protective arm slung around my brother’s shoulders, my silent way of telling him everything was going to be okay.

The further we walked, the more I thought about the words I had spoken in the short conversation with Megan a few minutes prior; “He said things he didn’t mean. We all say things we don’t mean sometimes.”

“I’m sorry, Dina. I don’t think I can just drop everything and be with you again. You hurt me more than I can describe to you, more than I can describe to anyone. I don’t feel like I can trust you anymore. So I guess what I’m saying is, I think we should both keep trying to move on.”

Did I mean that?