Please Tell Me What We Have Is Real

"So Chloe, what is the real reason your here?" Papa Gates questioned me. We had gone over what I had been up to and how we all were, now we needed to talk about how I feel.

"Brian, told me this morning, and well just about everyday, that he doesn't want to get married for a long time. And while I understand that and I agree in a sense, I feel like he's trying to tell me he doesn't at all." I replied back.

"Oh sweetie, Brian absolutley loves you. Your his whole world, besides Madison now, and I have a feeling he's scared that once you settle down that you'll change your mind and leave. I know he's afraid of Madison being put through something like that. He was angry after his mom and I got divorced, if you remember."

"I know, and trust me I understand that completely, but I always get the feeling that he's tired of me. Think about it, we've been together 12 years, and maybe he wants to see what else is out there, and he's giving me hints or something. Or maybe I'm just paranoid. But either way we've been fighting about it and it's finally became to much. I don't even bring up getting married and he throws it into any conversation. I don't think I can do this anymore." I hadn't felt the tears until dad handed me a tissue, and pulled me into a hug.

"Chloe, I think that maybe you both need time away from eachother." He said seriously.

"I can't do that. I love him to much to be away from him, and I don't want to put my daughter in that situation. It's something that would be to painful to go through."

"Have you ever been apart, besides from touring?" He questioned.

"Yes. And it is something that I never want to happen again. I would rather be happy being with him in any way, than lose him and be miserable." I replied.

"There is your answer then." He stated. I knew then that I was going to drop this mess and just be happy with Brian

I find ironic that I decided to let this mess go, and yet Brian made the final decision. I had arrived home from Papa Gates and was cleaning the house and making sure everything that Madison needed was stocked up, when I got that feeling of something happening that I wouldn't like. I had also loved the fact that she had started to crawl, mostly backwards-which was funny- and realized that she needed both of her parents together. I had never met my dad, a result of a one night stand, and never wanted my daughter to have to split homes and not know what it's like for her parents to actually be together. And then Brian showed up at home, creating a neverending string of what happened.

Nothing was on tv. I rarely had the time to watch it, and got bored right away. I was waiting for Brian and Madison to come home, and needed something to pass the time. Pinkly was asleep on her bed, and wasn't helping.

After what seemed like forever, I heard the front door open and close, then Brian walk upstairs most likely to put Madison in her crib. After what seemed like forever, I heard a thump come from upstairs and decided to go make sure Brian was alright. Walking into our room, I noticed a couple suitcases on the bed, and clothes being thrown into them. I didn't feel right about this.

"Hey baby, what's up?" I questioned him when he walked back out of the closet with more clothes.

"Nothing."

"Oh, are you guys going on a guy's weekend or something?" I asked. He just shook his head and continued on.

"Avenged have to do a couple shows after Matt's wedding and your getting ready?" He shook his head again and refused to meet my eyes.

"I'm done." He whispered. I hope my ears are decieving me.

Swallowing the lump in my throat I asked,"what did you say?"

"I can't do this anymore, I'm done." He said finally looking at me.

"Bri, what are you saying?" I was shaking at this point and knew already, but I had to hear it.

"We're over. I can't take you going and talking about how you feel like I don't want you. So to stop it, I'm leaving you." He replied.

"Don't do this Bri. I don't even know what your talking about." I cried out to him. He just started zipping up his luggage and looked over everything that was scattered in our room. One thing I do know is that Papa Gates would never tell Brian what I said, so that left someone that must have heard Gena and I at the salon.

"I get a phone call about how my fiancee was talking to Zacky's and said that I'm hurting her everytime I drop the subject of marriage. So to quit hurting you, it's best if we separate for awhile." He replied grabbing his stuff and moving out the door and towards the stairs.

"Don't do this Brian. Think about Madison, think about what your doing to me by walking out. Please don't do this. I love you." I replied walking after him.

"We'll figure out what to do with Madison later. Right now I need to get away from you." He stated coldly. My heart dropped in my stomach and I started crying harder.

"Please Bri, I don't care about getting married, I just need you. Don't leave." I was sobbing and working my way to a panic attack. How Madison kept asleep through this was beyond me. He just shrugged me off and went and picked up Pinkly.

"To late Chloe. I'll come and pick up Madison tomorrow, then bring her back to you the next day." He stated walking out the front door.

"What happened to forever and always?" I whispered quietly. I didn't get an answer, just the door slamming shut.

That was three weeks ago. In those three weeks, I have become sick and wore out. Madison gets shuffled between us and we can't even be civil with eachother. I know he's staying with Papa Gates since he's often the one to bring Madison back.He always says that Brian is miserable and wonders why he did it, but at this point I don't care. We kept quiet about it during Matt and Val's wedding, but as soon as it was over everyone figured it out. Which is why I feel so awkward being at a welcome back party for then within touching distance of him.

"I'm so glad to be back." Val exclaimed. Please, if I could get away right now I would.

"Why didn't have fun?" Leana asked.

"OH we had fun. Although it was hard to leave the hotel room." She replied back. We all said ew and tried to think of something else to talk about.

"Have you talked to Brian at all Chloe?" Gena asked. I flinched when she said his name.

"Doesn't she live with him, why wouldn't they be talking." I forgot that Matt and Val had no clue what happened.

"We broke up two days before the wedding Val. And he refuses to talk to me at all. Papa Gates is the one who comes and gets Madison or brings her back." I quielty stated. It still hurt to talk about.

"Oh honey, what happened?" She asked. I explained it to her and she nodded. Brian was way to stubborn for his own good.

"So how was Fiji?" Sophie finally broke through. I sent her a smile and mouthed thank you to her. She just nodded as Val went on about how it was. I looked over at the guys and could tell Brian had just told Matt, and the look on his face told me he wasn't thrilled. This is horrible.