Love's Not A Competition

Off-Day 7: October 24th, 2008 -Salt Lake City, UT

Everyone knows there's days that can be great and days that can suck, and sometimes if you're lucky, you get a little something in between.

Today was one of those days, it was just okay. Jack was leaving me on my day off. He had a show tonight, and I desperately wanted to go. But, due to where I would have to travel to and back the next day, it wasn't worth it.

"I'm uh, kinda depressed." I mumbled in Jack's sweatshirt. "I don't think I can stand not having you here again. Three days kinda grew on me." I looked up at him with puppy dog eyes hoping that was enough to make him stay.

Instead, he kissed my forehead and nose then smiled. "You'll see me again in like...three weeks, don't be so fucking sappy."

I laughed before snuggling myself back in to his sweatshirt. His arms wrapped around my body before snugly sliding down to the small of my back.

"Now boarding - flight 309, flight 309 now boarding to Austin, Texas."

"UGH!" I mumbled in Jack's chest, giving a slight smile. "Don't. Leave."

"Unless you're dying, I'm leaving."

"I am dying. I'm dying to do you. If I let you feel me up or something, will you stay?" I looked back up at him dramatically.

"Yes, but you won't. So I'm gonna go now." He replied with a cheeky smile before kissing me and walking to get ready to board, waving goodbye once he got there.

Day 23: October 31st, 2008 -Minneapolis, MN

"My life is both amazing and stupid at the same time." I spilled to Cassadee Pope, the lead singer of Hey Monday. I didn't really have that good of a relationship with her, but we knew each other well enough to kind of vent. "This tour is halfway over, which is great, but saddens me." I pouted.

"Me too!" She agreed. "This tour has been so amazing. I feel like we're never gonna get signed to another one." She laughed nervously.

"Yeah, me too. It's like you know kids like you, but you..." I trailed off before seeing the glare of someone creepily going in to the venue. A clown.

"Angie?" Cassadee looked out of the window with me.

"What the...who the fuck was that?!" I stuttered in horror.

She laughed that nervous laugh again. "Uh, I don't know...I uh, are you okay?"

"No! No I'm not!" I wanted to cry.

"Are you...scared of clowns?"

"Yeah," I panted. "B-But not the um, the nice ones. The scary ones. The ones like...like that."

"He was frowning, wasn't he? And, I'm pretty sure it was one of the Academy guys...They're dressing up too, remember?" She eyed my sleazy french maid outfit I accidentally bought a few days ago in Nebraska. Who knew they had sluts?

"Yeah, yeah you're probably right." My breathing slowed. I looked down at the mini dress I was wearing. "Ugh, if I had known this was this small, I definitely wouldn't have bought it. I feel like a whore."

"Well at least you have something to show Jack..." Cassadee suggested.

"Eh, I already told him, I just told him I would take a picture and send it later."

"Ahh."

The door of the venue swung back open. I prayed it wasn't the clown again. It wasn't. It was the joker. I immediately recognized the person under this costume.

"CHIZZY!" I called out the window of Hey Monday's van.

"Oh, hey Angie. What's up?" He replied in his heavy accent.

"Likin' the outfit!" I replied. "What's everybody else in the band?"

He sighed for a minute, trying to recall. "Uh, Bill's Beetlejuice, Sisky's Captain America, I'm obviously this, Butcher's that one king guy from 300. You know, the 'THIS. IS. SPARTA!' guy..."

"Oh, um, King...Leonidas!" Cassadee finished.

"Yeah! And Mike's a clown. He's got some pretty creepy makeup going on. Better than last year's."

I grinded my teeth. Of course Mike was the clown. He knew about my fear. Of course he made the makeup 'better' than last year's. He did it on purpose. He knew it would scare me. I squinted my eyes. This was war.

***

"Alright guys, we've got one more song for you tonight!" The crowd cheered over the sound of my G chord. "And give it up for Hey Monday, because they're up next!" The crowd cheered at the same pitch. "Then, there's this cute band after them called Carolina Liar..." A few extra cheers chimed in. "Then, we've got this okay band called We The Kings..." Voices escaladed before I even finished. "And uh, I'm pretty sure there's one more band after that, but they kinda suck," I said scratching my head. "I think they're called The Academy Is..." The voices escaladed at least three octaves, making my ears pop. "Alright, let me sing my shitty song..." I laughed before grabbing the microphone and singing.

Halfway through the song I glanced towards the side of the stage to see who was watching. The first glance I saw was Rachel's. She probably left the merch duties to Cecely for the moment. Next to her was Jersey from Hey Monday then someone towering over them in a pinstripe suit. I figured it was Beetlejuice, a.k.a. William. Then, I saw It. Or at least what he looked like. It from that ninties movie, with that horrible clown that scared me to death as a kid. The one who scarred me for life.

His eyes were going up and down at my body. I could feel him undressing me in his mind. My body felt as if it was no longer moving. I wanted to hit the floor. He was watching me suffer, his grin ate through me maniacally. I couldn't even look away as I sang and played. I could feel a scream build up in my throat but it came out in the middle of a word that just sounded like a crack in my voice. Rachel turned around and tried to block the clown from my view, but it was too late. He was already printed in my mind.

When I finished my last note, I shyly put the microphone back on the stand, ran off the stage, and carelessly gave my guitar to who I believe was Rachel. I saw the clown one last time, his eyes smiling that evil smile for his lips. I shoved past Mike in a hurry. I didn't come back to see TAI's special Halloween performance that I had been looking forward to for a year. I spent the rest of my Halloween in the corner of the van crying. Lame.