Clash Of The Rockbands
Unmasked Depression
Melrose’s POV
I worried a lot about Daphne. Over the last week or so, she’d grown increasingly withdrawn. If she wasn’t at school, she was upstairs in her room, her door shut and locked. At dinner, she just sat and picked at her food, rarely glancing at the four of us around the table. She barely seemed to eat much anymore. Her life appeared to have lost all meaning, all fun. She’d lost all enthusiasm for living.
I had a bad feeling too. I didn’t know why, just that one Saturday, I had this horrible feeling. It felt as though someone with iron, ice-cold fingers encased my stomach in their fist and twisted and twisted until my stomach knotted around itself, and stayed that way. It had been like that all day, since the time I woke up. Daphne and I weren’t twins or anything, but it still seemed like we had that special twin connection, and I could just feel that something bad and horrible was about to happen, and Daphne would be right smack-dab in the middle of it.
Upstairs, I heard the sound of the bathroom door closing and locking. I ran a hand nervously through my hair, attempting to focus on the television. But I couldn’t. My mind remained on Daphne.
My bad feeling increased suddenly, until it felt almost painful. I felt my face twist into a grimace and I rubbed my stomach.
“What’s wrong?” James asked from beside me. I just shook my head, looking back at the television.
“I’m going to check on Daphne.” I announced. James slid his arm away from my shoulder and I stood up. I strode quickly out into the parlor and jogged quickly up the curling staircase. I walked over to the bathroom door and knocked gently on it.
“Go away,” I heard Daphne say instantly. I detected something strange in her voice, something I hadn’t heard in her voice in a long time.
“Daphne, are you okay?” I asked, leaning close to the door.
“Go away,” Daphne answered shakily.
“Daphne, honey, I’m worried about you.” I replied.
“Go...away...” Daphne repeated weakly.
Fear.
I heard fear in her voice.
And her fear scared me.
“Daphne?” I repeated her name, grasping the doorknob and attempting to turn it, even though I knew it was locked.
“Go away.”
Now that I paid attention, I heard fear and sadness in Daphne’s voice. It sounded weak, and pleading, and fearful, and sad. I could almost hear the tears pouring out of her emerald eyes.
No.
She...She wouldn’t do that. She wouldn’t go that far.
Would she?
“Daphne!” I repeated, a bit frantic now. I shoved at the door, but of course it didn’t give way.
“Go a-away!” Daphne answered. I could clearly hear her small sobs through the words.
Not good. Definitely NOT GOOD.
I whirled around and leaped down the staircase, jumping the stairs three at a time. I skidded into the living room and rushed over to James. I seized his wrist and dragged him to his feet.
“Melrose, what’s wrong?” James repeated, catching sight of my panicked and slightly fearful face. I just pulled him back into the parlor and back up the stairs. I pointed at the bathroom door.
“Break it open.” I demanded.
“Wait, what?” James asked, looking confused.
“Break it open!” I repeated, a little more urgently this time.
“Why?”
“Just do it! Please! Now!” I snapped, close to tears. I knew James couldn’t hear Daphne’s cries and tears, but they sounded deafening to me. I could hear every shuddering breath; I could hear the sound of each tear dripping off of her jaw and falling to the tile with an ear-splitting drip.
“How?” James asked.
“I don’t care!” I answered, feeling tears brimming on my eyelids. “Kick it! Something! Just break the fucking door open!” James opened his mouth to answer, but instead just closed it and turned to the door.
“This is new.” he muttered as he raised a foot and kicked the door right below the doorknob and close to the frame. I heard the wood crack a little bit. He kicked it again, in the same spot. The wood cracked a bit more. After one more kick, the lock gave way and the door sprung open, revealing a horrible sight.
Daphne sat with her back against the counter where the sink was. Blood pooled around her, pouring in endless torrents out of both wrists. A straight razor blade sat beside her amid the bright scarlet blood. Tears streaked down both of her cheeks, and she looked up at me out of defeated, dying eyes.
“No, no, no, no, no, no...” I muttered as I rushed into the room. I grabbed a couple of hand towels from the cabinet beside the counter and kneeled down next to Daphne. Tears blurred my vision as I seized one of her arms and quickly wrapped one of the hand towels around her bleeding wrist. I tied it as tight as I could, and double-knotted it, trying to at least slow down the flow of blood.
“I’m...so...sorry...” Daphne said shakily as I wrapped up the other wrist.
“Don’t be...don’t be...” I replied quietly, feeling tears break away from my eyelids to slither down my cheeks. I looked around to see James just standing in the doorway to the bathroom, staring transfixed at the blood.
“Pick her up.” I told him, grabbing a few more, regular-sized towels from the cabinet. James stepped in with no hesitation, finally following my orders. He hooked an arm beneath her knees and upper back and picked her light body up easily. I led the way quickly out of the bathroom and down the staircase and out the front door.
I opened the backseat door of my Monte Carlo and spread the towels across the backseat. Daphne’s jeans were practically drenched in her own blood, and—call me selfish—I didn’t want her blood all over my backseat, a constant reminder of what happened. James gently put her down across them, and Daphne laid her head back against the armrest, closing her eyes weakly. I climbed into the driver’s seat, James slid into the passenger seat, and I quickly turned the ignition on and backed out of the driveway.
We only lived about a mile from the hospital in Huntington Beach, so we reached it pretty quickly. I cut the ignition and climbed out. James picked Daphne up again and we hurried into the Emergency Room of the hospital.
The nurse at the desk looked up as we hurried up to the desk. Before she could even open her mouth, I silently pulled away one of the towels around Daphne’s wrist to reveal the deep gash in her skin. The nurse’s eyes widened and she quickly called for a doctor.
A doctor appeared almost instantly, and after glancing at the gash on Daphne’s wrist, he strode briskly down the hall. We followed him into an empty hospital room, and James put her down on an empty hospital bed. A nurse bustled into the room and strode expectantly over to the doctor.
“Get me some blood.” he said instantly, peeling back the bloody cloth to look at Daphne’s wrist. She just stared up at the ceiling, her face pale and bloodless. The nurse left the room at a brisk walk.
I sank down onto the pristine white bed at Daphne’s feet. Another doctor came rushing in and walked over to help the other doctor. They stood on each side of Daphne, each taking care of one of her wrists. The nurse rushed back into the room, carrying bags of crimson blood. The first doctor inserted an IV into Daphne’s arm and fed the tube into the bag of blood. It began to pump blood back into her system as both doctors began to clean her wrists and sew them back up.
**********
“I’m so sorry.” Daphne repeated an hour or so later. The doctors had sewn up her wrists and redistributed the blood that she’d lost back into her body. Physically, she was better; mentally: not so much. She would see a psychiatrist the next day, and go for regular meetings with that psychiatrist.
I shook my head, flitting my gaze back to her slightly tanned hand in my pale one.
“Don’t be.” I repeated quietly. My gaze diverted back to the white bandage wrapped around her wrist. She’d have the stitches taken off in a couple of weeks. She’d leave the hospital in a couple of days.
“You’re mad at me.” Daphne stated. It wasn’t a question, but a statement, like “The sky is blue.” I looked up at her and stared her straight in the eyes. Tears pooled in her emerald eyes.
“No, I’m not mad at you.” I told her softly. I squeezed her hand gently. “There’s no reason to be angry.”
Daphne’s lower lip quivered. She blinked rapidly, restraining her tears. Suddenly, the loud pattering of feet against tile burst from the hall. Seconds later, Rayne, Jen, Kim, and AM all rushed into the room. Daphne and I had been alone for about twenty-five minutes. James had left, figuring we would need alone, sister-to-sister time.
All four of them rushed over and enveloped Daphne in a many-armed hug. They pulled away after about a minute, revealing a silently crying Daphne. She’d cried a lot in the past hour. I didn’t blame her.
They sank down onto the bed. Rayne reached over and wiped away the tears on Daphne’s cheeks with her thumb.
“You could’ve talked to us.” Kim said quietly a few minutes later.
“I...I know.” Daphne answered. “But none of you would’ve understood.”
“How?”
“You’re all too damn happy. You wouldn’t understand depression. You’d just tell me to keep my chin up, put a smile on, enjoy life. Useless, cheery advice.”
“You could’ve told us about it, at least.”
“I hated the sound of psychiatrists.”
“Well, you’re stuck with one.” Jen said. “So it really didn’t help you at all.” Daphne looked down at the sheet in shame, squeezing my hand.
“I know.” she whispered. As I watched, a tear dripped off of her jaw and absorbed into the sheet. She was in so much pain right now; she didn’t need to be berated and lectured right now.
“Guys...” I began. I stood up and sat down next to Daphne’s torso. I pulled her into a tight hug, wrapping my arms consolingly around her. She buried her face into my shoulder, wrapping her arms back around my ribs. “Just leave her alone, okay? She doesn’t need lectures right now. Talk about something else. Please.” I looked around at them all with a hard look on my face.
“Johnny and I have a dilemma.” Kim piped up. “Neither one of us can choose either a maid of honor or a best man.”
“Who are your bride’s maids?” Rayne asked. Daphne pulled her face out of my shoulder to look around at Kim.
“You guys,” Kim answered.
“And who are Johnny’s groomsmen?”
“Your boyfriends.”
“Just draw names from a hat or something.” Jen suggested.
“You could all be maids of honor.” Daphne said quietly. “And all your boyfriends could be the best men.”
“But what about the speeches?”
“Just make a big, huge one for each side and just say it together, just in separate parts.”
“You know, that’s a good idea.” Kim answered. “I think I’ll do that. Thanks, Daphne.” Daphne smiled weakly. It looked dead and lifeless, but it was a smile, and hopefully the beginning of a new, happy time of life.
Hopefully.
I worried a lot about Daphne. Over the last week or so, she’d grown increasingly withdrawn. If she wasn’t at school, she was upstairs in her room, her door shut and locked. At dinner, she just sat and picked at her food, rarely glancing at the four of us around the table. She barely seemed to eat much anymore. Her life appeared to have lost all meaning, all fun. She’d lost all enthusiasm for living.
I had a bad feeling too. I didn’t know why, just that one Saturday, I had this horrible feeling. It felt as though someone with iron, ice-cold fingers encased my stomach in their fist and twisted and twisted until my stomach knotted around itself, and stayed that way. It had been like that all day, since the time I woke up. Daphne and I weren’t twins or anything, but it still seemed like we had that special twin connection, and I could just feel that something bad and horrible was about to happen, and Daphne would be right smack-dab in the middle of it.
Upstairs, I heard the sound of the bathroom door closing and locking. I ran a hand nervously through my hair, attempting to focus on the television. But I couldn’t. My mind remained on Daphne.
My bad feeling increased suddenly, until it felt almost painful. I felt my face twist into a grimace and I rubbed my stomach.
“What’s wrong?” James asked from beside me. I just shook my head, looking back at the television.
“I’m going to check on Daphne.” I announced. James slid his arm away from my shoulder and I stood up. I strode quickly out into the parlor and jogged quickly up the curling staircase. I walked over to the bathroom door and knocked gently on it.
“Go away,” I heard Daphne say instantly. I detected something strange in her voice, something I hadn’t heard in her voice in a long time.
“Daphne, are you okay?” I asked, leaning close to the door.
“Go away,” Daphne answered shakily.
“Daphne, honey, I’m worried about you.” I replied.
“Go...away...” Daphne repeated weakly.
Fear.
I heard fear in her voice.
And her fear scared me.
“Daphne?” I repeated her name, grasping the doorknob and attempting to turn it, even though I knew it was locked.
“Go away.”
Now that I paid attention, I heard fear and sadness in Daphne’s voice. It sounded weak, and pleading, and fearful, and sad. I could almost hear the tears pouring out of her emerald eyes.
No.
She...She wouldn’t do that. She wouldn’t go that far.
Would she?
“Daphne!” I repeated, a bit frantic now. I shoved at the door, but of course it didn’t give way.
“Go a-away!” Daphne answered. I could clearly hear her small sobs through the words.
Not good. Definitely NOT GOOD.
I whirled around and leaped down the staircase, jumping the stairs three at a time. I skidded into the living room and rushed over to James. I seized his wrist and dragged him to his feet.
“Melrose, what’s wrong?” James repeated, catching sight of my panicked and slightly fearful face. I just pulled him back into the parlor and back up the stairs. I pointed at the bathroom door.
“Break it open.” I demanded.
“Wait, what?” James asked, looking confused.
“Break it open!” I repeated, a little more urgently this time.
“Why?”
“Just do it! Please! Now!” I snapped, close to tears. I knew James couldn’t hear Daphne’s cries and tears, but they sounded deafening to me. I could hear every shuddering breath; I could hear the sound of each tear dripping off of her jaw and falling to the tile with an ear-splitting drip.
“How?” James asked.
“I don’t care!” I answered, feeling tears brimming on my eyelids. “Kick it! Something! Just break the fucking door open!” James opened his mouth to answer, but instead just closed it and turned to the door.
“This is new.” he muttered as he raised a foot and kicked the door right below the doorknob and close to the frame. I heard the wood crack a little bit. He kicked it again, in the same spot. The wood cracked a bit more. After one more kick, the lock gave way and the door sprung open, revealing a horrible sight.
Daphne sat with her back against the counter where the sink was. Blood pooled around her, pouring in endless torrents out of both wrists. A straight razor blade sat beside her amid the bright scarlet blood. Tears streaked down both of her cheeks, and she looked up at me out of defeated, dying eyes.
“No, no, no, no, no, no...” I muttered as I rushed into the room. I grabbed a couple of hand towels from the cabinet beside the counter and kneeled down next to Daphne. Tears blurred my vision as I seized one of her arms and quickly wrapped one of the hand towels around her bleeding wrist. I tied it as tight as I could, and double-knotted it, trying to at least slow down the flow of blood.
“I’m...so...sorry...” Daphne said shakily as I wrapped up the other wrist.
“Don’t be...don’t be...” I replied quietly, feeling tears break away from my eyelids to slither down my cheeks. I looked around to see James just standing in the doorway to the bathroom, staring transfixed at the blood.
“Pick her up.” I told him, grabbing a few more, regular-sized towels from the cabinet. James stepped in with no hesitation, finally following my orders. He hooked an arm beneath her knees and upper back and picked her light body up easily. I led the way quickly out of the bathroom and down the staircase and out the front door.
I opened the backseat door of my Monte Carlo and spread the towels across the backseat. Daphne’s jeans were practically drenched in her own blood, and—call me selfish—I didn’t want her blood all over my backseat, a constant reminder of what happened. James gently put her down across them, and Daphne laid her head back against the armrest, closing her eyes weakly. I climbed into the driver’s seat, James slid into the passenger seat, and I quickly turned the ignition on and backed out of the driveway.
We only lived about a mile from the hospital in Huntington Beach, so we reached it pretty quickly. I cut the ignition and climbed out. James picked Daphne up again and we hurried into the Emergency Room of the hospital.
The nurse at the desk looked up as we hurried up to the desk. Before she could even open her mouth, I silently pulled away one of the towels around Daphne’s wrist to reveal the deep gash in her skin. The nurse’s eyes widened and she quickly called for a doctor.
A doctor appeared almost instantly, and after glancing at the gash on Daphne’s wrist, he strode briskly down the hall. We followed him into an empty hospital room, and James put her down on an empty hospital bed. A nurse bustled into the room and strode expectantly over to the doctor.
“Get me some blood.” he said instantly, peeling back the bloody cloth to look at Daphne’s wrist. She just stared up at the ceiling, her face pale and bloodless. The nurse left the room at a brisk walk.
I sank down onto the pristine white bed at Daphne’s feet. Another doctor came rushing in and walked over to help the other doctor. They stood on each side of Daphne, each taking care of one of her wrists. The nurse rushed back into the room, carrying bags of crimson blood. The first doctor inserted an IV into Daphne’s arm and fed the tube into the bag of blood. It began to pump blood back into her system as both doctors began to clean her wrists and sew them back up.
**********
“I’m so sorry.” Daphne repeated an hour or so later. The doctors had sewn up her wrists and redistributed the blood that she’d lost back into her body. Physically, she was better; mentally: not so much. She would see a psychiatrist the next day, and go for regular meetings with that psychiatrist.
I shook my head, flitting my gaze back to her slightly tanned hand in my pale one.
“Don’t be.” I repeated quietly. My gaze diverted back to the white bandage wrapped around her wrist. She’d have the stitches taken off in a couple of weeks. She’d leave the hospital in a couple of days.
“You’re mad at me.” Daphne stated. It wasn’t a question, but a statement, like “The sky is blue.” I looked up at her and stared her straight in the eyes. Tears pooled in her emerald eyes.
“No, I’m not mad at you.” I told her softly. I squeezed her hand gently. “There’s no reason to be angry.”
Daphne’s lower lip quivered. She blinked rapidly, restraining her tears. Suddenly, the loud pattering of feet against tile burst from the hall. Seconds later, Rayne, Jen, Kim, and AM all rushed into the room. Daphne and I had been alone for about twenty-five minutes. James had left, figuring we would need alone, sister-to-sister time.
All four of them rushed over and enveloped Daphne in a many-armed hug. They pulled away after about a minute, revealing a silently crying Daphne. She’d cried a lot in the past hour. I didn’t blame her.
They sank down onto the bed. Rayne reached over and wiped away the tears on Daphne’s cheeks with her thumb.
“You could’ve talked to us.” Kim said quietly a few minutes later.
“I...I know.” Daphne answered. “But none of you would’ve understood.”
“How?”
“You’re all too damn happy. You wouldn’t understand depression. You’d just tell me to keep my chin up, put a smile on, enjoy life. Useless, cheery advice.”
“You could’ve told us about it, at least.”
“I hated the sound of psychiatrists.”
“Well, you’re stuck with one.” Jen said. “So it really didn’t help you at all.” Daphne looked down at the sheet in shame, squeezing my hand.
“I know.” she whispered. As I watched, a tear dripped off of her jaw and absorbed into the sheet. She was in so much pain right now; she didn’t need to be berated and lectured right now.
“Guys...” I began. I stood up and sat down next to Daphne’s torso. I pulled her into a tight hug, wrapping my arms consolingly around her. She buried her face into my shoulder, wrapping her arms back around my ribs. “Just leave her alone, okay? She doesn’t need lectures right now. Talk about something else. Please.” I looked around at them all with a hard look on my face.
“Johnny and I have a dilemma.” Kim piped up. “Neither one of us can choose either a maid of honor or a best man.”
“Who are your bride’s maids?” Rayne asked. Daphne pulled her face out of my shoulder to look around at Kim.
“You guys,” Kim answered.
“And who are Johnny’s groomsmen?”
“Your boyfriends.”
“Just draw names from a hat or something.” Jen suggested.
“You could all be maids of honor.” Daphne said quietly. “And all your boyfriends could be the best men.”
“But what about the speeches?”
“Just make a big, huge one for each side and just say it together, just in separate parts.”
“You know, that’s a good idea.” Kim answered. “I think I’ll do that. Thanks, Daphne.” Daphne smiled weakly. It looked dead and lifeless, but it was a smile, and hopefully the beginning of a new, happy time of life.
Hopefully.
♠ ♠ ♠
AGH! Those drama bunnies are at it again!Comments?