Clash Of The Rockbands
Party Time!
“Johnny,” Rayne said as we settled down into the limo that would drive the wedding party to the reception hall. Johnny looked over to meet Rayne’s serious black eyes with navy blue rims. “You will die if you ever get me that close to smearing my meticulous makeup again. Got that?”
Johnny smirked and nodded before leaning towards Kim to place a kiss on her shoulder. Like that girl could smile any wider. Ever since the pastor had announced that they were wed, Kim had been all smiles. I’d never seen her happier. She almost seemed to glow with glee.
“So...who wants to bet on whether we’ll have to tell Johnny that his honeymoon is tonight and doesn’t start in this limousine?” James asked the limo at large. Johnny smirked wider, curling his arm around Kim’s shoulders.
“Who wants to bet that we’ll have to remind Kim?” Jen asked, grinning over at Kim. Kim giggled, resting her hand on Johnny’s thigh. “Yeah, that little giggle gives it away.” Kim shrugged her thin shoulders, her smile not faltering for an instant.
“Stop picking on her.” Rayne chided, reaching over to hit Jen’s leg. “It’s her wedding day. Be nice.”
“Yeah, be nice.” Kim agreed with a nod. “Or I’ll sic my new husband on you. Isn’t that right, Johnny?” Kim looked around at Johnny, who nodded. “He’s already brainwashed.” she whispered.
“Dude, I knew it!” Zacky exclaimed. “I knew this marriage thing was all wrong! I knew it! You better back out now, Johnny, before you start doing the laundry and settling down and becoming a family man!”
“Yeah, she is going to domesticate you like a fucking dog, and we’ll have to kidnap you to get you away from the house!” Matt added.
“No, that’ll just give us an excuse to get a new bassist,” Syn mumbled. Rayne gasped and whirled to look at him.
“Be nice!” she exclaimed, slapping his arm.
“The magazines would all ask, ‘Where did Johnny go, where did Johnny go?’” Syn continued. “And we’d just have to answer, ‘He got domesticated, and it’s not like we wanted him in the first place, so we just left him to sort out his light clothes and his dark clothes and take care of the little hellions, and instead got a new bassist. A brand-new one. Right off the assembly line.’”
“Bri, you are so mean to him.” Rayne said, shaking her head in a defeated fashion.
“Hey, when he joined the band (jumped on the bandwagon) we warned him that he couldn’t just leap into the band once we started getting bigger. We warned him that we would pick on him, tease him, be cruel and evil to him, and just treat him like shit. And he said, ‘Okay’ and went along with it. He doesn’t give a damn. He’s probably not even paying attention to the conversation anymore.” Syn said calmly. We all looked over at Johnny and Kim to see them off in their own little world, staring into each other’s eyes. “See? He’s over it now.”
“You seriously need to be less mean to him.” Rayne said solemnly.
“I know.” Syn said nonchalantly. “But I’m sure anyone else in the band could kick my ass, or get someone else to kick my ass, so I’ll just stick to picking on Johnny.”
“Or you can stop picking on people period,” Rayne replied hopefully. Syn shot her hope down with one stubborn look.
“Rayne, dear, I love you to death, but I wouldn’t do that for anyone.” he told her. She sighed, leaning against him.
“You could give me the benefit of a doubt.” she muttered.
The limousine lurched to a stop. Johnny entwined his fingers with Kim’s before opening the door of the limo and stepping out into the mid-afternoon sunshine. The rest of us followed them into the reception hall.
A long table sat at one end of the room, opposite a wooden dance floor. Smaller, circular tables sat dotted around the large, rectangular room, which is where the wedding goers now sat. Johnny and Kim led the way towards the long table as gentle applause filled the room. They sat down in the high-backed, wooden chairs in the center of the table. All us girls sat at the table beside Kim, and all the guys sat next to Johnny.
After a few minutes, the DJ handed Kim the microphone. She smiled and thanked him before rising to her feet. The room instantly fell silent as all eyes fell upon her.
“Thank you all so much for attending my wedding. Don’t fret; we will all get drunk off our behinds in mere moments. But first, we need to hear the maid of honor and best man speeches.
“But, I faced an extreme dilemma. I love all my friends too much to choose just one out of them. Johnny couldn’t choose one either. So, we decided to let all the bridesmaids and all the groomsmen be maids of honor and best men. They’ll deliver one, compiled speech to you.
“So, please, Matt, if you’ll start the best men off,” Kim finished, handing the microphone over to Matt. He sighed and rose to his feet slowly as she sat back down.
“Thanks, Kim,” he said sarcastically. “It’s not like I hold a microphone every second of everyday.” The wedding goers laughed. “But, anywho...The speech! Dudes, stand up.” He looked over at Syn, Zacky, and James. They rose to their feet as well. “Right. I remember the first time Johnny and Kim met. It was at Van’s Warped Tour, and it was hot as hell. Hotter, in fact. Jimmy had taken Melrose’s drumsticks in a fit of obsession—” James quickly shook his head no. “—which led Zacky, Syn, Johnny, and I to go over to them as well. I knew that Kim and Johnny instantly clicked.” He silently handed the microphone over to Syn.
“First of all, they were—and still are—short as hell. Johnny rarely finds a girl shorter than him, unless he goes for the young, young ones, but he isn’t like that. So, he would definitely try to hook up with her because they’re the exact same height. Second of all, she was hyper and energetic like him. She bounced around and almost radiated energy like a nuclear power plant. And third of all, I could just tell that he found her absolutely gorgeous.” Syn handed the microphone to Zacky.
“So, for a few hours, they disappeared off on their own. I don’t even wish to know what they did in some dark, secluded corner. They came back, and I could just see that Johnny was already...I dunno...happier than before he’d met Kim. He got her phone number and called her that very day. Matt wisely called it, ‘Midget love’ and that’s about the most accurate phrase for what they have. So, the two bands went our separate ways. Johnny and Kim kept up with the long distance relationship. Not even miles upon miles of land and water could keep them truly apart.” Zacky handed the microphone to James.
“A year after Van’s Warped Tour, they showed up at our recording studio. Surprise!” James waved his hands excitedly. “They went to a movie and dinner, and just hit off from there. They’ve been inseparable ever since. Then, a couple of months ago, on Kim’s birthday, Johnny gave her one last mystery present. He pulled her to her feet, spewed out the most heartfelt speech I’d ever heard in my life—Rayne and Jen got teary-eyed—and then proposed to her, right in front of us all. Kim said yes and tackled him to the ground in a hug. And, today, their love is complete. They’ve got the rings to prove it.” James handed the microphone back to Matt.
“So, Johnny, despite our recent conversation in the limo which you probably didn’t even hear, we’re happy for you.” He clapped a hand on Johnny’s shoulder. “May your love last longer than your pitiful music career will.” Matt smirked at Johnny.
“Without me, Avenged Sevenfold wouldn’t even exist.” Johnny replied. Matt laughed before sitting down and handing the microphone back to Kim.
“Gee, wasn’t that entertaining?” she asked. “But now on to the real speech, the maid of honor speech.” She smirked and handed the microphone to Rayne. The four of us rose to our feet. We grouped around Rayne behind the table, leaning towards the microphone so that it could catch our voices.
“Kim,” Rayne began, “you are amazing—”
“—perfect—” AM added.
“—adorable—” I said.
“—lovable—” Jen continued.
“—and completely random.” Rayne finished. “But we love you so much for it.”
“Johnny is the luckiest man on the planet for having snatched you and married you before any other man got there.” AM continued.
“We knew that you loved him, from the start. We can all remember how bright and sparkly your eyes got when Johnny first called.” I stated.
“We have never seen you more content and happier with life than you are with Johnny. You deserve the best, and we hope, for his sake, that he’s the best for you.” Rayne said.
“Johnny, you break her heart, and we swear to all things lovely that we will break your face.” AM continued.
“And probably various other parts of your body,” I added. “But enough about that. Johnny, just be grateful that you have Kim.”
“Treat her right.”
“Take good care of her, in sickness and in health.”
“Show her that you love her everyday.”
“And lastly, don’t hurt her.” I said.
“And Kim, do the same for Johnny. Although, for your sake, you can spray him with water if he misbehaves.” Jen commented with a laugh.
“We wish the best for you two, and may your love last for all of eternity and beyond.” we all finished simultaneously. Polite applause filled the room as Rayne handed the microphone back to the DJ. We all gave Kim and Johnny a hug before sitting back down.
“Well, let’s cut some cake!” Kim exclaimed. She pulled Johnny to his feet and walked over to the three-tiered cake with dark purple icing and black swirls all over it. She picked up the knife as everyone watched. Johnny curled his hand over hers on the knife and together they cut the first piece out.
Kim placed the piece of cake on the plate. They each tore off a good sized chunk. They weren’t even going to keep the smashing-cake-in-face a secret. A smirk fell upon each of their lips as they raised the hands with cake in them. Suddenly, simultaneously, they shoved the cake at each other. Johnny got most of it smeared down his cheek and over his lips, and Kim got most of it smeared on her jaw and chin. They laughed before leaning towards each other and pressing their cake-coated lips against each other.
**********
Finally, it was time for Kim to throw her flowers and for Johnny to throw Kim’s garter. All the unmarried women stood in a group behind Kim. She smirked back at us over her shoulder, holding the flowers tightly in her slender fingers. She turned her head back around before swinging her arms up and back, releasing the bouquet.
It flew straight at us. She turned around to watch. It flipped end over end through the air, coming ever closer. It landed just short of the group, and all the women dived for it. After a slight, minor scuffle, AM leaped to her feet gleefully, holding the bouquet triumphantly aloft.
“Zack, look!” she cried happily in a slightly breathless voice. She waved the bouquet above her head excitedly. “I caught it, Zack! I caught it!”
“Good job, Ann,” Zacky replied with a grin. AM clapped her hands happily, looking over at Kim, who smiled at her.
“Don’t forget!” Syn exclaimed. “Johnny’s got to shove his hand up your skirt too, you know.”
“Stop putting it so bluntly!” Rayne replied with a laugh. Syn just shrugged. Rayne walked over, seized an empty chair, and pulled it up next to Kim. She sat down in it as Johnny walked up to her.
“I apologize if my hands are cold.” Johnny said as he kneeled down in front of her. Kim just giggled as Johnny slowly curled his fingers around her ankle.
“Your hands are cold, by the way.” Kim commented as his hands, still closed around her leg, slid up out of sight under her skirt. He leaned forward slightly as his hands inched further up her leg. A few moments later, he leaned back again and pulled his hands out from under her skirt, this time holding onto the black garter. He raised up a little bit to press a firm kiss to Kim’s lips before standing up and turning to the guys already grouped behind him. He casually flicked the stretchy garter at the group of guys like it was a rubber band.
It sailed right over the group of guys and rebounded off of the wall behind them. They spun around and dove for it like the women had done. After another minor scuffle ending in Matt and Syn rolling around on the floor, neither one wanting to let go of it, Syn jumped to his feet, triumphant. He straightened his dress shirt before striding over to Rayne.
“There,” he said smugly, handing it to her. She smiled before reaching out and tucking it in his pants pocket.
And then we all continued to dance, get drunk off our asses, and have a great time.
Johnny smirked and nodded before leaning towards Kim to place a kiss on her shoulder. Like that girl could smile any wider. Ever since the pastor had announced that they were wed, Kim had been all smiles. I’d never seen her happier. She almost seemed to glow with glee.
“So...who wants to bet on whether we’ll have to tell Johnny that his honeymoon is tonight and doesn’t start in this limousine?” James asked the limo at large. Johnny smirked wider, curling his arm around Kim’s shoulders.
“Who wants to bet that we’ll have to remind Kim?” Jen asked, grinning over at Kim. Kim giggled, resting her hand on Johnny’s thigh. “Yeah, that little giggle gives it away.” Kim shrugged her thin shoulders, her smile not faltering for an instant.
“Stop picking on her.” Rayne chided, reaching over to hit Jen’s leg. “It’s her wedding day. Be nice.”
“Yeah, be nice.” Kim agreed with a nod. “Or I’ll sic my new husband on you. Isn’t that right, Johnny?” Kim looked around at Johnny, who nodded. “He’s already brainwashed.” she whispered.
“Dude, I knew it!” Zacky exclaimed. “I knew this marriage thing was all wrong! I knew it! You better back out now, Johnny, before you start doing the laundry and settling down and becoming a family man!”
“Yeah, she is going to domesticate you like a fucking dog, and we’ll have to kidnap you to get you away from the house!” Matt added.
“No, that’ll just give us an excuse to get a new bassist,” Syn mumbled. Rayne gasped and whirled to look at him.
“Be nice!” she exclaimed, slapping his arm.
“The magazines would all ask, ‘Where did Johnny go, where did Johnny go?’” Syn continued. “And we’d just have to answer, ‘He got domesticated, and it’s not like we wanted him in the first place, so we just left him to sort out his light clothes and his dark clothes and take care of the little hellions, and instead got a new bassist. A brand-new one. Right off the assembly line.’”
“Bri, you are so mean to him.” Rayne said, shaking her head in a defeated fashion.
“Hey, when he joined the band (jumped on the bandwagon) we warned him that he couldn’t just leap into the band once we started getting bigger. We warned him that we would pick on him, tease him, be cruel and evil to him, and just treat him like shit. And he said, ‘Okay’ and went along with it. He doesn’t give a damn. He’s probably not even paying attention to the conversation anymore.” Syn said calmly. We all looked over at Johnny and Kim to see them off in their own little world, staring into each other’s eyes. “See? He’s over it now.”
“You seriously need to be less mean to him.” Rayne said solemnly.
“I know.” Syn said nonchalantly. “But I’m sure anyone else in the band could kick my ass, or get someone else to kick my ass, so I’ll just stick to picking on Johnny.”
“Or you can stop picking on people period,” Rayne replied hopefully. Syn shot her hope down with one stubborn look.
“Rayne, dear, I love you to death, but I wouldn’t do that for anyone.” he told her. She sighed, leaning against him.
“You could give me the benefit of a doubt.” she muttered.
The limousine lurched to a stop. Johnny entwined his fingers with Kim’s before opening the door of the limo and stepping out into the mid-afternoon sunshine. The rest of us followed them into the reception hall.
A long table sat at one end of the room, opposite a wooden dance floor. Smaller, circular tables sat dotted around the large, rectangular room, which is where the wedding goers now sat. Johnny and Kim led the way towards the long table as gentle applause filled the room. They sat down in the high-backed, wooden chairs in the center of the table. All us girls sat at the table beside Kim, and all the guys sat next to Johnny.
After a few minutes, the DJ handed Kim the microphone. She smiled and thanked him before rising to her feet. The room instantly fell silent as all eyes fell upon her.
“Thank you all so much for attending my wedding. Don’t fret; we will all get drunk off our behinds in mere moments. But first, we need to hear the maid of honor and best man speeches.
“But, I faced an extreme dilemma. I love all my friends too much to choose just one out of them. Johnny couldn’t choose one either. So, we decided to let all the bridesmaids and all the groomsmen be maids of honor and best men. They’ll deliver one, compiled speech to you.
“So, please, Matt, if you’ll start the best men off,” Kim finished, handing the microphone over to Matt. He sighed and rose to his feet slowly as she sat back down.
“Thanks, Kim,” he said sarcastically. “It’s not like I hold a microphone every second of everyday.” The wedding goers laughed. “But, anywho...The speech! Dudes, stand up.” He looked over at Syn, Zacky, and James. They rose to their feet as well. “Right. I remember the first time Johnny and Kim met. It was at Van’s Warped Tour, and it was hot as hell. Hotter, in fact. Jimmy had taken Melrose’s drumsticks in a fit of obsession—” James quickly shook his head no. “—which led Zacky, Syn, Johnny, and I to go over to them as well. I knew that Kim and Johnny instantly clicked.” He silently handed the microphone over to Syn.
“First of all, they were—and still are—short as hell. Johnny rarely finds a girl shorter than him, unless he goes for the young, young ones, but he isn’t like that. So, he would definitely try to hook up with her because they’re the exact same height. Second of all, she was hyper and energetic like him. She bounced around and almost radiated energy like a nuclear power plant. And third of all, I could just tell that he found her absolutely gorgeous.” Syn handed the microphone to Zacky.
“So, for a few hours, they disappeared off on their own. I don’t even wish to know what they did in some dark, secluded corner. They came back, and I could just see that Johnny was already...I dunno...happier than before he’d met Kim. He got her phone number and called her that very day. Matt wisely called it, ‘Midget love’ and that’s about the most accurate phrase for what they have. So, the two bands went our separate ways. Johnny and Kim kept up with the long distance relationship. Not even miles upon miles of land and water could keep them truly apart.” Zacky handed the microphone to James.
“A year after Van’s Warped Tour, they showed up at our recording studio. Surprise!” James waved his hands excitedly. “They went to a movie and dinner, and just hit off from there. They’ve been inseparable ever since. Then, a couple of months ago, on Kim’s birthday, Johnny gave her one last mystery present. He pulled her to her feet, spewed out the most heartfelt speech I’d ever heard in my life—Rayne and Jen got teary-eyed—and then proposed to her, right in front of us all. Kim said yes and tackled him to the ground in a hug. And, today, their love is complete. They’ve got the rings to prove it.” James handed the microphone back to Matt.
“So, Johnny, despite our recent conversation in the limo which you probably didn’t even hear, we’re happy for you.” He clapped a hand on Johnny’s shoulder. “May your love last longer than your pitiful music career will.” Matt smirked at Johnny.
“Without me, Avenged Sevenfold wouldn’t even exist.” Johnny replied. Matt laughed before sitting down and handing the microphone back to Kim.
“Gee, wasn’t that entertaining?” she asked. “But now on to the real speech, the maid of honor speech.” She smirked and handed the microphone to Rayne. The four of us rose to our feet. We grouped around Rayne behind the table, leaning towards the microphone so that it could catch our voices.
“Kim,” Rayne began, “you are amazing—”
“—perfect—” AM added.
“—adorable—” I said.
“—lovable—” Jen continued.
“—and completely random.” Rayne finished. “But we love you so much for it.”
“Johnny is the luckiest man on the planet for having snatched you and married you before any other man got there.” AM continued.
“We knew that you loved him, from the start. We can all remember how bright and sparkly your eyes got when Johnny first called.” I stated.
“We have never seen you more content and happier with life than you are with Johnny. You deserve the best, and we hope, for his sake, that he’s the best for you.” Rayne said.
“Johnny, you break her heart, and we swear to all things lovely that we will break your face.” AM continued.
“And probably various other parts of your body,” I added. “But enough about that. Johnny, just be grateful that you have Kim.”
“Treat her right.”
“Take good care of her, in sickness and in health.”
“Show her that you love her everyday.”
“And lastly, don’t hurt her.” I said.
“And Kim, do the same for Johnny. Although, for your sake, you can spray him with water if he misbehaves.” Jen commented with a laugh.
“We wish the best for you two, and may your love last for all of eternity and beyond.” we all finished simultaneously. Polite applause filled the room as Rayne handed the microphone back to the DJ. We all gave Kim and Johnny a hug before sitting back down.
“Well, let’s cut some cake!” Kim exclaimed. She pulled Johnny to his feet and walked over to the three-tiered cake with dark purple icing and black swirls all over it. She picked up the knife as everyone watched. Johnny curled his hand over hers on the knife and together they cut the first piece out.
Kim placed the piece of cake on the plate. They each tore off a good sized chunk. They weren’t even going to keep the smashing-cake-in-face a secret. A smirk fell upon each of their lips as they raised the hands with cake in them. Suddenly, simultaneously, they shoved the cake at each other. Johnny got most of it smeared down his cheek and over his lips, and Kim got most of it smeared on her jaw and chin. They laughed before leaning towards each other and pressing their cake-coated lips against each other.
**********
Finally, it was time for Kim to throw her flowers and for Johnny to throw Kim’s garter. All the unmarried women stood in a group behind Kim. She smirked back at us over her shoulder, holding the flowers tightly in her slender fingers. She turned her head back around before swinging her arms up and back, releasing the bouquet.
It flew straight at us. She turned around to watch. It flipped end over end through the air, coming ever closer. It landed just short of the group, and all the women dived for it. After a slight, minor scuffle, AM leaped to her feet gleefully, holding the bouquet triumphantly aloft.
“Zack, look!” she cried happily in a slightly breathless voice. She waved the bouquet above her head excitedly. “I caught it, Zack! I caught it!”
“Good job, Ann,” Zacky replied with a grin. AM clapped her hands happily, looking over at Kim, who smiled at her.
“Don’t forget!” Syn exclaimed. “Johnny’s got to shove his hand up your skirt too, you know.”
“Stop putting it so bluntly!” Rayne replied with a laugh. Syn just shrugged. Rayne walked over, seized an empty chair, and pulled it up next to Kim. She sat down in it as Johnny walked up to her.
“I apologize if my hands are cold.” Johnny said as he kneeled down in front of her. Kim just giggled as Johnny slowly curled his fingers around her ankle.
“Your hands are cold, by the way.” Kim commented as his hands, still closed around her leg, slid up out of sight under her skirt. He leaned forward slightly as his hands inched further up her leg. A few moments later, he leaned back again and pulled his hands out from under her skirt, this time holding onto the black garter. He raised up a little bit to press a firm kiss to Kim’s lips before standing up and turning to the guys already grouped behind him. He casually flicked the stretchy garter at the group of guys like it was a rubber band.
It sailed right over the group of guys and rebounded off of the wall behind them. They spun around and dove for it like the women had done. After another minor scuffle ending in Matt and Syn rolling around on the floor, neither one wanting to let go of it, Syn jumped to his feet, triumphant. He straightened his dress shirt before striding over to Rayne.
“There,” he said smugly, handing it to her. She smiled before reaching out and tucking it in his pants pocket.
And then we all continued to dance, get drunk off our asses, and have a great time.
♠ ♠ ♠
I'ma doing that at my wedding...Shoving the cake into my husband's face. Mwahaha.