Clash Of The Rockbands
The Bassists Will RIOT!
Rayne, Jen, Kim, and I stood nervously backstage, watching our men prance around on the stage. We were about to set my idea into motion. We all wore black skinny jeans with boots with color-coordinated laces laced across our shins that matched the color of our bangs. We wore thin, long-sleeved black shirts under vests that matched our bangs as well. As Matt sang the last verse of Girl I Know, we prepared ourselves for our appearance.
The first time’s hard enough
But you made it through
The second time I see the changes in you
She’s got you somehow
You're needing her now
We all glanced at each other before Matt launched into the last chorus. Like me, the other girls wore smoky makeup that swirled gorgeously around their eyes. And as Matt began the last chorus, we all stepped gracefully up onto the stage.
We've all been more than eager to sin
And it feels alright, 'till we pay the price
Now you choose either naughty or nice
Johnny, Syn, Zacky, and Matt all glanced over at us as we slinked sneakily onto the stage. They went quickly back to the song, but acted like they were slightly distracted by our presence.
'Cause she’s here for you
It’s all yours tonight
We all went to stand near our appropriate man. I climbed up the stairs that led to the podium James sat on, and he kept glancing at me as I walked up, like he was distracted by my unfathomable beauty (yeah, right, unfathomable beauty).
You won't believe the stories I've been told
About the girl I know
They finished the song. We clapped politely, acting totally non-distracting. Then, suddenly, we all rushed towards our respective man, seized his face in our pale hands, and kissed him roughly on the lips.
Jen wrenched the microphone from Matt’s hand. I tore James’s drumsticks from his fingers. Then, all five of us shoved our hand into the chest of our man. Matt, Johnny, Syn, and Zacky all kind of collapsed. James slid backward off of his stool. Our kisses were supposed to be Kisses of Death, or something of that sort.
Jen handed Rayne the microphone with an evil smirk, prodding Matt with her toe as she did so.
“Don’t worry about them.” Rayne told the crowd, motioning around towards all the fallen men. “Our Kisses of Death don’t cause death. They won’t wake up until this morning.”
“We’re selling their bodies backstage after the show.” AM said into her microphone. “They’ll stay unconscious all night, and you can just dump them off outside the tour bus in the morning. We’ll let their sorry asses in.” We laughed. We hadn’t planned for her to say it, but it sounded funny.
“Hm...” Rayne said thoughtfully, turning around to look at the motionless Syn. “I wonder...” She walked over to him and crouched down beside him. She dug into his front jeans pocket. She frowned. With a scowl, she rolled him halfway over, digging in his back pocket. She smiled happily and pulled out a black wallet.
“Opportunities, my friends, opportunities.” She straightened up, and Kim, AM, and Jen huddled around her, all four of them facing the crowd. She opened the wallet, pulled on something, and a roll of pictures tumbled out. They all looked down at the pictures, slightly surprised, before beginning to study them.
Jen pointed at one and laughed, covering her mouth with a hand.
“Aww, Syn was a cute baby.” Rayne gushed. “And what’s a picture of an ex-girlfriend doing in here?” Her face darkened as she pulled out a picture and dropped it, letting it float down to the stage. She folded the pictures neatly back up before continuing to go through his wallet. “Ah, yes, score!” She pulled a piece of rectangular plastic out of his wallet and held it up to the light. “What do you say we go on a shopping spree tonight, girls?” All three of them nodded eagerly. Rayne laughed. “I won’t be so cruel.” She tucked the card back in the wallet before rolling Syn a bit and sticking it back in his pocket. “He won’t know it was missing.”
She stepped back up to center stage, looking around at the crowd.
“Where were we again?” she asked. Behind her, stagehands appeared and dragged the bodies of Avenged Sevenfold offstage. More stagehands came out and handed Jen, Kim, and AM their guitars. “Oh, yeah, the concert. What do you say to a little bit of something I call The Day Teddy-Bears Attacked?” The crowd went wild, and we began to play.
**********
James’s POV
“Let’s go party!” Rayne exclaimed, thrusting a fist into the air. We’d all changed back into casual clothes after the concert. Now, we stood outside of the concert hall in the cool late-September air. We were heading north now, and everyday it seemed to get colder and colder. I didn’t like the sudden coolness at all, and neither did any of the other guys, but the girls seemed just fine with it. Of course, they grew up in Indiana, where it’s cold from October to March.
“Think there’s any good bars around here?” Matt asked, looking around into the dark night.
“Sure there are,” Rayne answered instantly. “We just have to look.”
After twenty minutes of “looking”, we finally found a decent-looking place. Rayne led the way into the bar, and as the rest of us headed over towards the far corner to one of the large booths, her and Syn went to the bar to order drinks.
**********
“I’m telling you, that chick was fucking PSYCHO!” Zacky insisted at Johnny. “I swear she stalked me! She probably climbed the tree outside my bedroom and watched me undress and...and...and...!” He struggled to think up something else the girl could’ve watched him do.
“Masturbate,” Jen muttered beneath her breath. Zacky started to agree, but caught on to what she had said and quickly snapped his mouth shut, glaring at her. “Oh, don’t give me that look, Zack. You know all teenage boys do it.”
Somehow, we’d gotten on the subject of crazy ex-girlfriends/boyfriends. Zacky was currently telling us how during high school he was being “stalked” by a girl.
“But you don’t need to now, do you?” AM asked cheerily, patting Zacky on the leg.
“Ay-May, really, we don’t need to hear about your intimate affairs at the table!” Rayne complained. AM just shrugged, taking another sip of her beer.
“Like Zack’s really getting any,” Matt muttered, looking down into the swirling depths of his honey-colored beer.
“Hey!” Zacky snapped. “We are fully capable of having sex! I just don’t force her to do that because I’m a nice guy that way!”
“Oh, yes, because you’re the sensitive one in the band,” I agreed sarcastically.
“Because that’s my job,” Johnny added. Kim laughed and nodded.
“No, your job is to be the shitty bassist.” Syn told Johnny. Kim audibly snarled and reached across the table to slap Syn on the neck. Pretty hard too, seeing as she left a red handprint on his neck.
“Ow!” Syn cried, rubbing his neck.
“I take offense to that, you know! Don’t you be dissing the bassists of the world, because we will RIOT and take over the world, and you and your fancy little lead guitar will be burned in the fiery pits of Hell! And all us bassists will laugh our heads off because we were underestimated and underappreciated but we ROSE TO THE FUCKING TOP!” Kim exclaimed. All of us just blinked at her, caught off guard by her outburst. She leaned back in her seat, her chocolate eyes focused on Syn’s face.
After a few moments, he cleared his throat.
“I wasn’t ‘dissing the bassists of the world’.” he informed her matter-of-factly, putting the phrase in quotes with his fingers. “I was just dissing one bassist.”
“But in dissing one bassist, you diss all of us!” Kim snapped.
“Kim, for the record, we love you, and we appreciate all that you contribute to our band.” Rayne said. Kim smiled brightly over at her, her sudden anger vanishing in an instant. That girl is bipolar, I swear.
“Thank you, Rayne,” she said sweetly. “I’m glad to know that you actually enjoy having a bassist in your band.” She snarled the last words in Syn’s direction.
Yeah, it’s official. That girl is bipolar. Or has multiple personalities. Either one will work.
“It’s okay, Kim,” Johnny said with a sigh. He patted her arm soothingly. “I’m used to it by now. And secretly, deep down in their shriveled, black hearts, they do appreciate me.”
“Don’t count on it,” Syn muttered. Kim reached across the table to slap his neck again, but Syn quickly leaned out of her hand’s range. She growled before settling back in her seat.
“OH MY GOSH!” Rayne randomly exclaimed. We all looked over at her. “I just thought up the most random little thing!”
“What is it?” Melrose asked.
“Bri is SYN-credible!” Rayne cried.
“Wow, that is random.” Melrose agreed.
“OH MY GOD!” A scream from across the bar interrupted our conversation. We all looked over to see a small group of girls rushing towards us. I groaned aloud.
“Be nice,” Melrose muttered, elbowing me hard in the ribs. “Fans are what get you your money and your fancy little Camaro and your pretty little house.”
“Maybe if I act excessively drunk they’ll ignore me,” I muttered back as the dreaded fan-girls drew closer.
“Nah, that’ll just interest them further.” Melrose said logically.
The fan-girls reached the table and began to release their wrath upon us. I sighed as their squeals and shrieks fell upon our poor ears. I glanced over at Melrose to see a polite smile glued onto her face.
“See! I told you that Zacky Vengeance is twenty times more gorgeous in person!” one of the girls snapped at another, pointing at Zacky. A dark shadow crossed over AM’s face before a smile replaced it.
“He is, he is,” she agreed, curling a hand around his neck and pulling his face against hers so that their cheeks pressed together: her subtle way of saying, “He’s MINE, bitches!”
“My brother’s obsessed with you, you know,” one of the girls told Melrose conversationally.
“Really?” she asked, clearly surprised.
“Yeah, he says that you’re 300 percent ‘bangable’, whatever the hell that means,” she continued. Melrose laughed.
“Tell your brother that I...thank him for the compliment, but I’m already taken.” she told the girl. Her eyes glanced at me before focusing back on the girl’s face.
“I’ll be sure to let him know.” the girl replied.
“How can you think that Pete Wentz is hotter than this stud right here?” Kim asked one of the fans politely. She pointed at Johnny.
“Everyone thinks Pete Wentz is hot,” the fan said defensively.
“But he doesn’t even compare to Johnny!”
“You’re his wife, aren’t you?”
“Yes.”
“Of course you would think he was hot. But the whole world doesn’t have the same opinion.”
“Well, if they think Johnny’s not sexy or handsome, they’re wrong.” Kim replied. She still sounded polite, but I caught a trace of anger behind her voice.
“Whatever,” the fan said, rolling her eyes. Kim stared fixedly away from her until the fans finished talking to us and walked away.
“Ugh, why is everyone hating on the bassists!?” she exclaimed.
The first time’s hard enough
But you made it through
The second time I see the changes in you
She’s got you somehow
You're needing her now
We all glanced at each other before Matt launched into the last chorus. Like me, the other girls wore smoky makeup that swirled gorgeously around their eyes. And as Matt began the last chorus, we all stepped gracefully up onto the stage.
We've all been more than eager to sin
And it feels alright, 'till we pay the price
Now you choose either naughty or nice
Johnny, Syn, Zacky, and Matt all glanced over at us as we slinked sneakily onto the stage. They went quickly back to the song, but acted like they were slightly distracted by our presence.
'Cause she’s here for you
It’s all yours tonight
We all went to stand near our appropriate man. I climbed up the stairs that led to the podium James sat on, and he kept glancing at me as I walked up, like he was distracted by my unfathomable beauty (yeah, right, unfathomable beauty).
You won't believe the stories I've been told
About the girl I know
They finished the song. We clapped politely, acting totally non-distracting. Then, suddenly, we all rushed towards our respective man, seized his face in our pale hands, and kissed him roughly on the lips.
Jen wrenched the microphone from Matt’s hand. I tore James’s drumsticks from his fingers. Then, all five of us shoved our hand into the chest of our man. Matt, Johnny, Syn, and Zacky all kind of collapsed. James slid backward off of his stool. Our kisses were supposed to be Kisses of Death, or something of that sort.
Jen handed Rayne the microphone with an evil smirk, prodding Matt with her toe as she did so.
“Don’t worry about them.” Rayne told the crowd, motioning around towards all the fallen men. “Our Kisses of Death don’t cause death. They won’t wake up until this morning.”
“We’re selling their bodies backstage after the show.” AM said into her microphone. “They’ll stay unconscious all night, and you can just dump them off outside the tour bus in the morning. We’ll let their sorry asses in.” We laughed. We hadn’t planned for her to say it, but it sounded funny.
“Hm...” Rayne said thoughtfully, turning around to look at the motionless Syn. “I wonder...” She walked over to him and crouched down beside him. She dug into his front jeans pocket. She frowned. With a scowl, she rolled him halfway over, digging in his back pocket. She smiled happily and pulled out a black wallet.
“Opportunities, my friends, opportunities.” She straightened up, and Kim, AM, and Jen huddled around her, all four of them facing the crowd. She opened the wallet, pulled on something, and a roll of pictures tumbled out. They all looked down at the pictures, slightly surprised, before beginning to study them.
Jen pointed at one and laughed, covering her mouth with a hand.
“Aww, Syn was a cute baby.” Rayne gushed. “And what’s a picture of an ex-girlfriend doing in here?” Her face darkened as she pulled out a picture and dropped it, letting it float down to the stage. She folded the pictures neatly back up before continuing to go through his wallet. “Ah, yes, score!” She pulled a piece of rectangular plastic out of his wallet and held it up to the light. “What do you say we go on a shopping spree tonight, girls?” All three of them nodded eagerly. Rayne laughed. “I won’t be so cruel.” She tucked the card back in the wallet before rolling Syn a bit and sticking it back in his pocket. “He won’t know it was missing.”
She stepped back up to center stage, looking around at the crowd.
“Where were we again?” she asked. Behind her, stagehands appeared and dragged the bodies of Avenged Sevenfold offstage. More stagehands came out and handed Jen, Kim, and AM their guitars. “Oh, yeah, the concert. What do you say to a little bit of something I call The Day Teddy-Bears Attacked?” The crowd went wild, and we began to play.
**********
James’s POV
“Let’s go party!” Rayne exclaimed, thrusting a fist into the air. We’d all changed back into casual clothes after the concert. Now, we stood outside of the concert hall in the cool late-September air. We were heading north now, and everyday it seemed to get colder and colder. I didn’t like the sudden coolness at all, and neither did any of the other guys, but the girls seemed just fine with it. Of course, they grew up in Indiana, where it’s cold from October to March.
“Think there’s any good bars around here?” Matt asked, looking around into the dark night.
“Sure there are,” Rayne answered instantly. “We just have to look.”
After twenty minutes of “looking”, we finally found a decent-looking place. Rayne led the way into the bar, and as the rest of us headed over towards the far corner to one of the large booths, her and Syn went to the bar to order drinks.
**********
“I’m telling you, that chick was fucking PSYCHO!” Zacky insisted at Johnny. “I swear she stalked me! She probably climbed the tree outside my bedroom and watched me undress and...and...and...!” He struggled to think up something else the girl could’ve watched him do.
“Masturbate,” Jen muttered beneath her breath. Zacky started to agree, but caught on to what she had said and quickly snapped his mouth shut, glaring at her. “Oh, don’t give me that look, Zack. You know all teenage boys do it.”
Somehow, we’d gotten on the subject of crazy ex-girlfriends/boyfriends. Zacky was currently telling us how during high school he was being “stalked” by a girl.
“But you don’t need to now, do you?” AM asked cheerily, patting Zacky on the leg.
“Ay-May, really, we don’t need to hear about your intimate affairs at the table!” Rayne complained. AM just shrugged, taking another sip of her beer.
“Like Zack’s really getting any,” Matt muttered, looking down into the swirling depths of his honey-colored beer.
“Hey!” Zacky snapped. “We are fully capable of having sex! I just don’t force her to do that because I’m a nice guy that way!”
“Oh, yes, because you’re the sensitive one in the band,” I agreed sarcastically.
“Because that’s my job,” Johnny added. Kim laughed and nodded.
“No, your job is to be the shitty bassist.” Syn told Johnny. Kim audibly snarled and reached across the table to slap Syn on the neck. Pretty hard too, seeing as she left a red handprint on his neck.
“Ow!” Syn cried, rubbing his neck.
“I take offense to that, you know! Don’t you be dissing the bassists of the world, because we will RIOT and take over the world, and you and your fancy little lead guitar will be burned in the fiery pits of Hell! And all us bassists will laugh our heads off because we were underestimated and underappreciated but we ROSE TO THE FUCKING TOP!” Kim exclaimed. All of us just blinked at her, caught off guard by her outburst. She leaned back in her seat, her chocolate eyes focused on Syn’s face.
After a few moments, he cleared his throat.
“I wasn’t ‘dissing the bassists of the world’.” he informed her matter-of-factly, putting the phrase in quotes with his fingers. “I was just dissing one bassist.”
“But in dissing one bassist, you diss all of us!” Kim snapped.
“Kim, for the record, we love you, and we appreciate all that you contribute to our band.” Rayne said. Kim smiled brightly over at her, her sudden anger vanishing in an instant. That girl is bipolar, I swear.
“Thank you, Rayne,” she said sweetly. “I’m glad to know that you actually enjoy having a bassist in your band.” She snarled the last words in Syn’s direction.
Yeah, it’s official. That girl is bipolar. Or has multiple personalities. Either one will work.
“It’s okay, Kim,” Johnny said with a sigh. He patted her arm soothingly. “I’m used to it by now. And secretly, deep down in their shriveled, black hearts, they do appreciate me.”
“Don’t count on it,” Syn muttered. Kim reached across the table to slap his neck again, but Syn quickly leaned out of her hand’s range. She growled before settling back in her seat.
“OH MY GOSH!” Rayne randomly exclaimed. We all looked over at her. “I just thought up the most random little thing!”
“What is it?” Melrose asked.
“Bri is SYN-credible!” Rayne cried.
“Wow, that is random.” Melrose agreed.
“OH MY GOD!” A scream from across the bar interrupted our conversation. We all looked over to see a small group of girls rushing towards us. I groaned aloud.
“Be nice,” Melrose muttered, elbowing me hard in the ribs. “Fans are what get you your money and your fancy little Camaro and your pretty little house.”
“Maybe if I act excessively drunk they’ll ignore me,” I muttered back as the dreaded fan-girls drew closer.
“Nah, that’ll just interest them further.” Melrose said logically.
The fan-girls reached the table and began to release their wrath upon us. I sighed as their squeals and shrieks fell upon our poor ears. I glanced over at Melrose to see a polite smile glued onto her face.
“See! I told you that Zacky Vengeance is twenty times more gorgeous in person!” one of the girls snapped at another, pointing at Zacky. A dark shadow crossed over AM’s face before a smile replaced it.
“He is, he is,” she agreed, curling a hand around his neck and pulling his face against hers so that their cheeks pressed together: her subtle way of saying, “He’s MINE, bitches!”
“My brother’s obsessed with you, you know,” one of the girls told Melrose conversationally.
“Really?” she asked, clearly surprised.
“Yeah, he says that you’re 300 percent ‘bangable’, whatever the hell that means,” she continued. Melrose laughed.
“Tell your brother that I...thank him for the compliment, but I’m already taken.” she told the girl. Her eyes glanced at me before focusing back on the girl’s face.
“I’ll be sure to let him know.” the girl replied.
“How can you think that Pete Wentz is hotter than this stud right here?” Kim asked one of the fans politely. She pointed at Johnny.
“Everyone thinks Pete Wentz is hot,” the fan said defensively.
“But he doesn’t even compare to Johnny!”
“You’re his wife, aren’t you?”
“Yes.”
“Of course you would think he was hot. But the whole world doesn’t have the same opinion.”
“Well, if they think Johnny’s not sexy or handsome, they’re wrong.” Kim replied. She still sounded polite, but I caught a trace of anger behind her voice.
“Whatever,” the fan said, rolling her eyes. Kim stared fixedly away from her until the fans finished talking to us and walked away.
“Ugh, why is everyone hating on the bassists!?” she exclaimed.
♠ ♠ ♠
Heyloo.That's right, lead guitarists of the world. Bassists are underappreciated and ignored. They are sick of it, and one day they will riot.
They will.
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