Clash Of The Rockbands
Explanations
Syn’s POV
I leafed through the CDs, not seeing anything interesting. I wasn’t paying much attention to the CDs anyway. My eyes stared at them, but my mind focused itself elsewhere.
I’m sure you two will meet again.
Melrose’s bright, hopeful words still rang in my ears almost a week later. I wondered if they were right. Would Rayne and I ever meet again, just coincidentally like everyone else had? I wanted happiness, too, like everyone else got. But in the back of my brain, I knew that my chance of getting back with Rayne was slim to none. I had gone with that groupie whore behind her back and admitted it straight to her face. There wasn’t as much hope for me as there had been for the others.
My hand slipped away from the CDs in disinterest. My eyes lifted off of them, and my heart leapt up into my throat. Right across from me, on the other side of the CD shelf thing, stood Rayne. Her head tilted downward as she looked at the CDs, obscuring her face from view, but I knew it was her. Her hair didn’t have the turquoise and white in it now; it was pure, raven black with crimson tips. She’d cut it too, so that it went down to the back of her shoulder blades.
Suddenly, as if she could feel my eyes on her, Rayne shot her head up. Our eyes met, and we both froze. Then, to my surprise, she smiled, like she was happy to see me. But it disappeared almost too fast for me to realize that she’d smiled. Her expression hardened as her eyes narrowed and her eyebrows arched down angrily. With zero hesitation whatsoever, her palm slammed against my cheek.
Okay, I’m definitely getting mixed messages here.
Rayne whirled away and began to storm down the aisle towards the exit out of the music store. I hurried after her, thinking fast.
“I deserved that,” I told her, the CD shelf separating us. She glanced angrily over at me, still storming towards the door.
“You think?” she snapped sarcastically. We emerged out of the rows of CD shelves, and I quickly grabbed her elbow. She spun to face me, looking like she would rip my head off with her bare hands if I didn’t let go.
“Please, let me explain myself,” I said quickly. Rayne attempted to wrench her arm out of my grasp, but I just held on tighter.
“Fine,” she hissed, finally succeeding in getting her arm out of my hand. “I don’t want to hear excuses, either.”
“Fair enough,” I replied as we stepped out of the music store.
“Talk,” Rayne growled as we started down the sidewalk. A setting sun descended to our right, splashing a whole spectrum of colors across the sky. She angrily shoved her hands in her pockets, glaring straight ahead.
“What would you like to know?” I asked cautiously, hoping it wouldn’t anger her further.
“Why?” she answered sharply.
“I needed to be free for a night, I guess,” I said slowly, trying to choose the correct words to explain what I was thinking. “We were starting to become distant. I wanted to be away from that tension, just for one night. I decided to just go with that groupie because it would be easy. She wouldn’t resist.”
“You guys had sex, didn’t you?” Rayne whispered, pain already infiltrating her tone. I almost didn’t hear her voice over the noise of the city. I looked over to still see her glaring straight ahead, but I could see glittering tears forming in her eyes. I looked down at the sidewalk, feeling ashamed and horrible.
“Yes,” I whispered back. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Rayne bite her lip, blinking back the tears. “I don’t remember any of it, though. I was way drunk by then. I don’t blame the alcohol for my behavior, because that was still all me.”
“If the paparazzi see me this way, I’m going to murder you,” Rayne threatened, wiping beneath her bottom eyelid to brush the tears away before they streaked down her cheeks.
“I think you should murder me anyway,” I muttered.
“I need to sit down,” Rayne announced. She veered off of the sidewalk and onto the sandy beach. I hadn’t even noticed that we now walked alongside the beach. She walked closer to the water’s edge before sinking down onto the sand. I sat down beside her, keeping my distance.
Rayne curled her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms tightly around her shins. She stared out at the setting sun, occasionally wiping her cheek against her arm. We sat in awkward silence, attempting to think of something to say.
“Why did you treat me like you did that morning we broke up?” Rayne asked after a few minutes. Her choked, tear-strained voice sliced through my heart like daggers.
“I was such a jerk, and I didn’t have any reason to be,” I said. “I think I knew our relationship was over anyway, so I didn’t have to be nice to you about it. I look back at what I said now, and I see how arrogant it was. Maybe somewhere in my mind I thought it would hurt you less if we broke up after I was a jerk to you, so you wouldn’t have feelings for me anymore.”
“That plan didn’t work,” Rayne muttered. “It only hurt me more...” She paused, clearly having an internal struggle with what she wanted to say next. “...and it didn’t demolish my feelings for you, either. It did at first, but with time, I’ve begun to love you again.”
Despite the situation, I felt my heart swoop. Rayne admitted that she still had feelings for me! But would she be able to get around her resentment towards me? It seemed I only had one thing to do, and hopefully the outcome would be favorable.
“Rayne,” I began. Sincerity echoed in my voice: true sincerity, not the forced kind. I would really mean these words. I looked over at Rayne, only to find her staring back at me. A tear slipped out of one of her eyes, and instinct had me reaching out and brushing it away with my fingers. Rayne blinked, but otherwise didn’t react. “I’m sorry for hurting you that way. I don’t know what I was thinking when I decided to let myself lose someone amazing like you. I’m ashamed of what I’ve done to you; it was completely uncalled for. I just hope that you’ll forgive me; whether we move forward anymore than that is completely your choice. I only want what’s best for you.”
Rayne stared at me for a long while after I finished talking. I stared back, waiting. Then, she looked away, towards the sun now disappearing beneath the horizon. I looked down at the sand in front of me, exhaling a slow breath. Clearly, I wasn’t going to be given the forgiveness I hoped for.
“The movies make this part look so easy,” Rayne said after a few moments. “The man says this heartfelt speech of sincerity and sorrow and shame, and the woman melts into his arms instantly, laughing and kissing him all over. But it’s not simple like that.” She sighed. “I’ll need time to think on this.”
Rayne leaned over and pressed a quick kiss to my cheek before rising to her feet. She brushed the sand off of her skinny jeans and paused before leaving. I looked up at her, my cheek tingling where her lips had made contact.
“I’ll get back to you,” she announced. She flashed another surprising smile at me before turning and walking back the way we came.
I leafed through the CDs, not seeing anything interesting. I wasn’t paying much attention to the CDs anyway. My eyes stared at them, but my mind focused itself elsewhere.
I’m sure you two will meet again.
Melrose’s bright, hopeful words still rang in my ears almost a week later. I wondered if they were right. Would Rayne and I ever meet again, just coincidentally like everyone else had? I wanted happiness, too, like everyone else got. But in the back of my brain, I knew that my chance of getting back with Rayne was slim to none. I had gone with that groupie whore behind her back and admitted it straight to her face. There wasn’t as much hope for me as there had been for the others.
My hand slipped away from the CDs in disinterest. My eyes lifted off of them, and my heart leapt up into my throat. Right across from me, on the other side of the CD shelf thing, stood Rayne. Her head tilted downward as she looked at the CDs, obscuring her face from view, but I knew it was her. Her hair didn’t have the turquoise and white in it now; it was pure, raven black with crimson tips. She’d cut it too, so that it went down to the back of her shoulder blades.
Suddenly, as if she could feel my eyes on her, Rayne shot her head up. Our eyes met, and we both froze. Then, to my surprise, she smiled, like she was happy to see me. But it disappeared almost too fast for me to realize that she’d smiled. Her expression hardened as her eyes narrowed and her eyebrows arched down angrily. With zero hesitation whatsoever, her palm slammed against my cheek.
Okay, I’m definitely getting mixed messages here.
Rayne whirled away and began to storm down the aisle towards the exit out of the music store. I hurried after her, thinking fast.
“I deserved that,” I told her, the CD shelf separating us. She glanced angrily over at me, still storming towards the door.
“You think?” she snapped sarcastically. We emerged out of the rows of CD shelves, and I quickly grabbed her elbow. She spun to face me, looking like she would rip my head off with her bare hands if I didn’t let go.
“Please, let me explain myself,” I said quickly. Rayne attempted to wrench her arm out of my grasp, but I just held on tighter.
“Fine,” she hissed, finally succeeding in getting her arm out of my hand. “I don’t want to hear excuses, either.”
“Fair enough,” I replied as we stepped out of the music store.
“Talk,” Rayne growled as we started down the sidewalk. A setting sun descended to our right, splashing a whole spectrum of colors across the sky. She angrily shoved her hands in her pockets, glaring straight ahead.
“What would you like to know?” I asked cautiously, hoping it wouldn’t anger her further.
“Why?” she answered sharply.
“I needed to be free for a night, I guess,” I said slowly, trying to choose the correct words to explain what I was thinking. “We were starting to become distant. I wanted to be away from that tension, just for one night. I decided to just go with that groupie because it would be easy. She wouldn’t resist.”
“You guys had sex, didn’t you?” Rayne whispered, pain already infiltrating her tone. I almost didn’t hear her voice over the noise of the city. I looked over to still see her glaring straight ahead, but I could see glittering tears forming in her eyes. I looked down at the sidewalk, feeling ashamed and horrible.
“Yes,” I whispered back. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Rayne bite her lip, blinking back the tears. “I don’t remember any of it, though. I was way drunk by then. I don’t blame the alcohol for my behavior, because that was still all me.”
“If the paparazzi see me this way, I’m going to murder you,” Rayne threatened, wiping beneath her bottom eyelid to brush the tears away before they streaked down her cheeks.
“I think you should murder me anyway,” I muttered.
“I need to sit down,” Rayne announced. She veered off of the sidewalk and onto the sandy beach. I hadn’t even noticed that we now walked alongside the beach. She walked closer to the water’s edge before sinking down onto the sand. I sat down beside her, keeping my distance.
Rayne curled her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms tightly around her shins. She stared out at the setting sun, occasionally wiping her cheek against her arm. We sat in awkward silence, attempting to think of something to say.
“Why did you treat me like you did that morning we broke up?” Rayne asked after a few minutes. Her choked, tear-strained voice sliced through my heart like daggers.
“I was such a jerk, and I didn’t have any reason to be,” I said. “I think I knew our relationship was over anyway, so I didn’t have to be nice to you about it. I look back at what I said now, and I see how arrogant it was. Maybe somewhere in my mind I thought it would hurt you less if we broke up after I was a jerk to you, so you wouldn’t have feelings for me anymore.”
“That plan didn’t work,” Rayne muttered. “It only hurt me more...” She paused, clearly having an internal struggle with what she wanted to say next. “...and it didn’t demolish my feelings for you, either. It did at first, but with time, I’ve begun to love you again.”
Despite the situation, I felt my heart swoop. Rayne admitted that she still had feelings for me! But would she be able to get around her resentment towards me? It seemed I only had one thing to do, and hopefully the outcome would be favorable.
“Rayne,” I began. Sincerity echoed in my voice: true sincerity, not the forced kind. I would really mean these words. I looked over at Rayne, only to find her staring back at me. A tear slipped out of one of her eyes, and instinct had me reaching out and brushing it away with my fingers. Rayne blinked, but otherwise didn’t react. “I’m sorry for hurting you that way. I don’t know what I was thinking when I decided to let myself lose someone amazing like you. I’m ashamed of what I’ve done to you; it was completely uncalled for. I just hope that you’ll forgive me; whether we move forward anymore than that is completely your choice. I only want what’s best for you.”
Rayne stared at me for a long while after I finished talking. I stared back, waiting. Then, she looked away, towards the sun now disappearing beneath the horizon. I looked down at the sand in front of me, exhaling a slow breath. Clearly, I wasn’t going to be given the forgiveness I hoped for.
“The movies make this part look so easy,” Rayne said after a few moments. “The man says this heartfelt speech of sincerity and sorrow and shame, and the woman melts into his arms instantly, laughing and kissing him all over. But it’s not simple like that.” She sighed. “I’ll need time to think on this.”
Rayne leaned over and pressed a quick kiss to my cheek before rising to her feet. She brushed the sand off of her skinny jeans and paused before leaving. I looked up at her, my cheek tingling where her lips had made contact.
“I’ll get back to you,” she announced. She flashed another surprising smile at me before turning and walking back the way we came.
♠ ♠ ♠
Yay!Bunny-on-Drugs loves me again! *jumps and knocks heels together*
Oh. Three more chapters left. Just thought I'd throw that out there.