Circo

One week.

One long week, and already I wanted out.

I quit, I give up, I want to go home.

Travelling with the circus wasn’t quite as exciting as I’d hoped.

Once again, I was cooped up in Mikeys car, listening to the radio and staring dejectedly out of the window at the grotty car park we were currently waiting for the oldest of the Way kids in.

This wasn’t a thing like I’d expected, call me naive, but I’d hoped for it to be exciting and colourful. I’d hoped that the performers would depict their show counterparts. I’d hoped for the clowns to be running around, not necessarily in costume, but causing trouble, making everyone laugh. I expected the magician to constantly do his tricks around everyone even though they’d probably seen it one-hundred times or more and probably knew how to do it themselves. I’d expected that the Ringleader would be a jolly man who walked among the camp with pride, making sure that everything was going well and making sure everyone was happy. I expected to make friends.

Instead, it turns out that the clowns are alcoholics, one of them also very drug dependent. The magician did do his tricks quite often outside of the tent, but usually to haggle some innocent bystander in a diner or a crumby fast-food place out of $100 or so. The Ringleader didn’t care about his performers. Some of them sleep in falling apart trailers, some weren’t even that lucky. He didn’t care for his performers to the point where he wasn’t aware of their need for alcohol and drugs, he didn’t realise that we were so short on money that a magician had to steal or trick, he didn’t even realise that he’d hired me, and I’m sure that he’d have wasted no time in throttling me for being anywhere near his camp if Mikey weren’t there to remind him that I was the new 'cleaner kid'.

On top of all of that insanity, was Gerard.

Well, I’m sure he was on top of something right now.

“When can we go?” I whined pushing my head in the back of the seat.

“When Gerards finished,” Mikey answered nonchalantly.

“What the fucks he doing in there?”

“Did you really need to ask that?” He raised an eyebrow as he tilted his head to look at me.
I just laughed.

Of course I didn’t need to ask that.
Its funny how much you learn about a person when no-one on camp really likes them.

“His kids get priority, always,” Lou sneered, referring to Mr Way.

“Hey now,” Mikey cut in. “That’s not fair. I may get priority, but I don’t take it,”

Lou nodded slightly, before casting an eye at both of the luxury trailers in the corner of the camp. Gerards silhouette could be seen dancing around, and a small musical beat filled the otherwise silent camp.

“Is that why he gets practically the ‘headliner’ spot in the show?” I asked.

I wasn’t so nervous about cutting into conversation any more. Well, so long as it was with Josie, Kate or Mikey. Lou still scared me somewhat.

A small laughter filtered from the others. “No, that’s all advertising,”

“Advertising?”

“It’s what he can offer after the show that makes him ‘The Star’,” Lou laughed once more.

Kate chuckled nervously, and Mikey just looked away. I couldn’t read the emotion on his face, but I’m sure it looked like embarrassment. I was still somewhat confused; so I dared ask what it was his offered.

Lou let out a bitter chuckle, before glancing at Mikey, almost enjoying the younger Ways embarrassment.

“Himself,” He spat.

That had somewhat shocked me. I’d guessed from my time here that Gerard like sex, most humans did; Gerard just happened to indulge in it more than most. The thing that really caught me off guard though, was the fact that he actually did it as a job of sorts?

And I slowly came to realise that since his stage name of 'The Star' was 'advertising' almost, then Mr Way...his own father, must have condoned it.

-------------------------------------------------------------* * *

Another random field, in another random part of another random state...another random campsite is set up for the night.

It’s funny, how something that is so random is so routine.

It doesn’t matter where we are. Everything is done the same way.

“Who’s coming to get dinner?” Stanley, the magician asked.

It was always him who went, because like I said, he was able to con people out of money.

“I’ll come,” Mikey said, standing up and walking beside Stanley.

I hated it when he did that; it left me alone and feeling vulnerable, especially when Lou and Kate were off somewhere, and Josie hadn’t arrived to the camp yet since everyone travelled seperately and therefore arrived separately.

It shocked me however when I realised that I wasn’t as vulnerable as I’d first assumed. Instead of dwelling on the fact I’d been abandoned by those I depended on, I found serenity in the sunset.

The colours were slowly beginning to leak across the sky, blues into purples into reds into pinks. I’d never considered myself to be a considerably arty person, but at that moment, I wished I had a camera so I could document this moment. I wished that I had enough artistic talent to paint what was in front of me, to keep it close to me forever.

My serenity was ruined however, not long after the sun had completely abandoned...where-ever it was that we currently were.

“Well I can dance with you honey, if you thinks it’s funny, does your mother know that you’re out?” At the very sound of that voice, I sighed and rolled my eyes, my head falling backwards to rest on the back of the chair. My eyes darted over and rested on Gerards, once again, shirtless form as he pranced around the camp. It un-nerved my somewhat when I realised that he was watching me as he sang.

“And I can chat with you baby, flirt a little maybe, does your mother know that you’re out?” he sang again, amused expressions dancing in his eyes, visible from the light of the fire. “So?” He said, moving closer to me.

“So what?”

“Does she?”

I stared at him, I’d heard that this was a habit of his. He’d just be vague in what he asked, riddle questions out to you and just expect that you knew what he was trying to ask.

“Does who what?” I sighed, not in the mood for his games.

He smirked, before singing out once more: “Does your mother know that you’re out?”

I chuckled bitterly. “No, she probably hasn’t even noticed I’ve gone,”

“A pretty face like that is certain to be missed,” he smirked, placing a cigarette between his lips and lighting it, before prancing off, dancing and singing once more.

And as I watched him, I realised that Gerard Way would probably always be a mystery to me.