Baby, You're Not In Hell Any More

I was laying in my bed looking into the ocean, I had lost all hope since the conversation with Matt and I was a week ago. I was sure he couldn't fix the damage I had caused. No one else visited me.

The sun was sinking behind the ocean, making the sky explode colors of pink and Orange. The stars were coming into view. A dolphin dove into the ocean into the distance. Twilight was my favorite time of day. Silence filled my room, my mind light years away. I was so wrapped up in my own tormented mind, that I didn't even hear the door open and close quietly.

Sighing, I felt my eyes drooping, but snapped them back open. I didn't want to watch Brian die in my dreams. My dreams used to be wonderful place, full of longing and promise.

I heard someone clear their throat. I rolled out of my bed, on the opposite side of where the sound came from. I stood close to the open double doors that lead to the balcony. I looked at the person that made the sound.

My eyes widened a bit. My breath got caught in my throat, my lungs screaming at me for air. I felt my blood get warmer as the seconds passed. I felt my hands tremble.

The man stood there with his hands in his front pockets. He had had on a pair of dark blue pants with a slit in the knee. He wore a white shirt with some sort of design on it. He had a purple bandana around his head. His black hair not straightened. He had a silver hoop in his nose, like I remembered.

I felt faint. Was my mind playing tricks on me? I guessed not when he walked towards me. He ran his warm index finger over my cold cheek.

"Em." He spoke softly. He looked at me from head to toe and sighed. My hair was still unbrushed, un bathed and still in the same cloths that he had seen me in. I was sure that my complexion had gotten paler, from not eating or drinking. "You look like shit babe."

My cheeks blushed a deep crimson. I was sure he had noticed it, I looked a mess and shaky on my legs. "Sorry." I murmured.

"It's alright." He cooed. He linked his hand in mine and lead me to the bathroom. "I am going to clean you up."

I didn't protest, but staggered as I followed him into the bathroom. He set me on the edge of the bath tub and began to brush my hair from the ends up, so he wouldn't pull at my scalp.

He was almost done brushing my hair. The process was one in silence, until he broke it.

"Why did you let yourself get this way?" He asked. I heard the disappointment in his voice. He still brushed my hair until it was silky smooth.

I shrugged my shoulders. "You went away." I murmured. Even with Brian's easy strokes against my hair, I was still dazed out. I could hardly hear him or me for that matter. It was like I was stuck in my solitude; unable to get out. I had become what I feared the most. It was like I needed Brian with me so I could function properly; and I despised myself for it.

Brian set the brush down on the counter and kissed my cheek. "I'm here now love." He whispered. He drew a warm bath and put lavender scented bubbles in it. He helped me strip myself of my cloths, leaving on my bra and panties for me to do myself. He turned around and I quickly took them off and laid in the tub.

The warm water soothed my aching muscles, making me feel relaxed. So relaxed that I felt sleepy. I closed my eyes as Brian washed my hair and my body, from what I would let him of course, then he handed me a towel, I wrapped it around me, and with his help he got me to my bed. I sat down and was gasping quietly for air.

Brian handed me a clean pair of panties, a pair of purple shorts and a shirt from his clothing line. I put in the cloths, while Brian turned around.

"Alright." I whispered. He turned around and smiled at me. He walked over to me and helped me lay down in the bed, much to my protest.

"There." Brian said in a soft voice. He pulled the blanket over me and sat on the side of the bed. He stroked my for head to get the hair out of my face. "When was the last time you ate?"

I bit my lip, turning my eyes from me. I heard him sigh. I looked at him and took a deep breath. "Be honest." He warned, with the same soothing tone, but in a stern way.

"The last thing I ate was the last time I saw you." I managed to croak out. His eyes flashed sadness. He mumbled an "mhmm." He looked at me and smiled sadly.

"I am going to go make you something to eat." He said. He kissed my cheek.

My eyes flashed worry. I was scared he was going to leave me again, but this time not come back. I gave him a fake smile and a small nod.

"I'll be right back." He mumbled against my for head. I nodded and let my eyes turn to the ocean as he left my room. Worry still seeped through my skin and into my heart and mind. I couldn't shake the feeling, not even as much as I wanted too, I just couldn't.

Time Elapse

About forty minutes after he had left, all of the hope of him coming back had faded. I felt like I was going to cry, that is, until my door opened and there stood Brian with a plate of food.

He smiled warmly at me, as I sat up. On a breakfast tray sat a plate full of cheesy rice with broccoli and a glass of milk. He set it on my lap and laid next to me.

"I don't understand." Brian said more to himself then I. I was eating slowly. I felt the hunger edge go away until I was nearly done. I sat the tray on the bed, with the empty plate and empty glass.

Brian looked at me with a smile before opening his arms for me. I curled up close to him and he rubbed my back. "What don't you understand?"

"Everything." Brian murmured. He sighed and continued his thought. "When I'm with you everything is alright, there are no problems. Then when I'm not with you, you fall apart and I start to have problems. I just don't get it." Brian said, looking at me. His brown eyes burned into my brown ones. Seriousness and confusion painted his features. "It's like we need each other to keep on living."

His words struck me hard. Had he really thought the same thing that I had? I nodded in knowing. He smiled and kissed the tip of my nose. "Are you okay now?"

I nodded and smiled a small smile. I was alright then. He was with me, I felt like everything was as it should me. There aren't any problems in my world any more, I wasn't sure about his.

"I'm going to go home now." Brian sighed. He sat up and yawned.

"Brian?" I asked. He looked at me. I bit my lip and shook my head to dismiss my thought.

"No go a head and say it love." Brian smiled at me. He stroked my cheek as he laid on his side, facing me, with his head propped up on his hand.

"I was wondering if you could stay with me tonight?" I asked, my cheeks blushed a bright red. "I just want the night errors to go away." My voice trailed and I turned my eyes away from him, not wanting to see the look on his face.

"What night terrors?" Brian asked worriedly. He kept asking the question when I didn't answer. "Look at me." My face still stayed turned from him. He genitally turned my face to where my eyes locked with his. "Explain."

"I haven't slept in a week. When my dreams turned into you dieing in horrible ways, I stopped sleeping." I whispered. Tear's pricked my eyes and a few tears slipped from my eyes.

Brian pulled me into a hug. He kissed my four head and got off of the bed. He took off of his pants, shirt and shoes.He slipped in between the sheets and pulled he to his bare chest. "Yes I will stay with you." He whispered kissing my cheek. "I'm alright, see? I'm not going any where baby."

I kissed his bare chest and rested my head on his chest. I let my eye lids fall. I breathed in Brian's scent before falling asleep, in hope he would chase away the night terrors.