Baby, You're Not In Hell Any More

Val talked to me the whole way to their house. She told me about the band, what she did for a living, what to expect from the guys and from living with Matt. She went on and on. Matt would glance up at me in the mirror, to see if I was paying attention; and ever time he saw that I wasn't.

The whole time she was talking, I was looking out of the window; in a daze. I was thinking about my Brian. Not the one in the band, but my normal Brian. I remembered going to his funeral. So many people showed up. All of the people that went to Brian's funeral wore cloths as black as the night sky when we had shared one of our most intimate moments, no one said anything, but the tears that soaked their cheeks said everything that needed to be said. My sobbing could be heard over the preacher. He died, and I couldn't change that. I knew how he died, while everyone else didn't know why or how. I did. I carried that burden on my shoulders ever since. I was going to keep my lips sealed. No one could ever find out, if it gets leaked to certain people, then me and everyone around me is dead.

We pulled up to a rather large house. It was massive, to me anyways. It was an off white, trimmed in a maroon color. The windows were perfectly clean. The grass was clean cut, a beautiful green. They had plants of all kinds around the front of their house. I got out of the car and helped Matt and Val bring Matt's things inside. The inside was exquisite. It had french paintings on the walls. Everything was shiny in the sun light. The stare case was a spiral one, that if you looked out of the windows on it, you could see out into the ocean.

"Follow me, I already have your room ready." Val said, she was excited by the smile that spread across her face and how she practically ran up the stares, with Matt right behind her and then me.

We walked down the end of the hall. She opened the door to her left, and walked in. Matt and I followed. I glanced around, it was nice.

The walls were a white, with a queen size bed that had red sheets, black comforter and red and black pillow cases. The dresser only had a stereo, the night stand only had a lamp and a digital alarm clock. The carpet was a snow white. There was a window that went out into the balcony, that over looked the ocean. It was a beautiful room. They had done all of this for me, and I didn't want it.

I turned to Matt and Val, and smiled. It wasn't a fake smile and it wasn't forced; it was a real smile. My parents would have not done a room for me like this. It was beautiful. "Thank you." I said in a small voice.

"You're welcome. We were thinking about taking you shopping for cloths tomorrow. What do you think?" Val asked, the smile still spread on her face. She leaned on Matt, and looked up at him with the same smile.

"Alright." I said in a small voice. I looked around then back at Val and Matt. They looked so happy and content with themselves. I wish I was like them. In a way I was, but deep down inside me I knew I never could be. I scratched the back of my head and raised my eye brows. "do you mind if I take a nap?" I questioned looking between Matt and Val, who just smiled.

"Sure." Matt said smiling, walking out the door. He was nice. Too nice. Was I missing something?

"I'll wake you when dinner is ready." Val said kissing my four head. Her lips were soft. "Sleep well." She said with a smile before shutting my door, leaving me standing in the door way, just to my thoughts.