Skeptics and True Believers

A girl like you needs somethin' real; wanna get you somethin' from the heart, somethin' special girl. It's my dick in a box, my dick in a box girl. It's my dick in a box, my dick in a box girl.

Laughing at the ridiculous ringtone, I grabbed my phone off the kitchen counter and flipped it open to answer it. It was so like Brody to pick something that was completely ridiculous and crude. I guess that's why I loved him though. It was never boring with him. I pressed the phone to my ear and tried my best to contain my giggles as I spoke.

"No matter how many times I hear your ringtone, I always end up laughing," I said.

"Well hello to you too Delilah," Brody said sarcastically.

"You just had to go and pick the one ringtone that would make me laugh every time I heard it, didn't you?"

"You know it's my style," he said. I could practically see the cocky grin on his face as he said that. "So, I'm sorry I missed your call earlier. I was handling some important shop biz with Wade."

"Inventory? Since when is that important shop biz?"

"Since forever!" he replied. "So, what's up? Was there a specific reason you decided to call me in the middle of the day?"

"What? A girl can't call a friend to chat anymore? I wanna know if you're making any headway with that replacement for me," I said in a teasing manner. "What's her name again? Nellie? Nikki?"

"Natalie," he said through a frustrated sigh. "Natalie. Jeez, you'd think your memory's going bad with the way you are with names."

"Sorry but I'm just not an expert at remembering random chicks' names the way you are," I teased.

"She's not just some chick Dee. I think she may actually be the one," he said dramatically.

"Brody Redgrave meeting the one?! Hell has frozen over! I don't want to believe that!" I laughed.

"It had to happen sometime!" he argued.

"Yeah, when I'm not there to see the girl!" I scoffed. "I demand you take a photo and send it to me. I need to see how amazing this girl is if she's grounding you from your man whore ways," I laughed.

"Well duh! Of course. I just don't want to take a picture of her knowingly. It would seem a little stalkerish," he chuckled.

"So, how are things with her anyway? Have you made your move?" I asked.

"Not yet. I'm still chatting with her. She's really a cool chick. She reminds me a lot of you in some ways and then in others, she's a lot like Regan so I guess it's a good balance," he said, thinking aloud. "I'm not sure when the right time to ask her out is."

"This is so cute. Brody Redgrave actually nervous to ask a girl out," I giggled. "I really wish I was there to witness this myself. I bet you're making a complete idiot out of yourself in the cute way."

"Oh fuck you" he grumbled displeasingly.

"We've been over this before Brods. I'm not gonna fuck you. Natalie might though when you finally grow a pair and ask her out," I laughed. "I so would've tapped that by now."

"Yeah right. I definitely don't believe that," he said sarcastically.

"Well, I would've at least asked her out for coffee by now," I replied.

"Alright, alright, I get it. I need to make a move. Don't worry. I'll get around to it eventually," he chuckled. "So, was there really a reason you called me? Normally you don't call when I'm at work."

"Well yes, there was a reason. I was going about my business today when there was a sudden knock at the door and some strange beach bum looking guy with dreads was standing there. Does any of this ring any bells?" I asked, knowing the answer to the question already.

"Oh shit! I knew I forgot to do something before I left!" he sighed. "Sorry about that. I told Garth that I was leaving but not when. Was he trying to sell to you for me?" he asked.

"Yeah but I decided to buy anyway," I said nonchalantly.

"Seriously?" he asked seemingly surprised by my answer. "What are you planning on doing with seven grams of shrooms?"

"The same thing you and Zacky were doing on the weekends. I plan on making some delicious tea and checking out for a weekend. I just need you to remind me of the recipe," I said, hinting at the reason I called.

"Ahh, you want to make tea," he said. "Well, do you want me to text the directions to you or should I just tell you over the phone?"

"Texting them would probably be best. I would forget them as soon as we hang up."

"So you're not planning on doing them by yourself, are you?" he asked tentatively.

"Well, I was planning on taking the first batch by myself," I replied. "I'm not really in danger of having a bad trip. I'm not planning on taking a heavy dose like you normally do. I think I'll be fine."

"Well, if you start having a bad trip, you can go next door and see Rena and Zacky so please do that. I don't wanna pick up the paper and read that you had a bad trip on some mushrooms and started a killing spree," he chuckled.

"Like I'd go on a killing spree," I scoffed. "I don't think I'm a potential serial killer, stoned or sober."

"Just make sure you take care of yourself please. You know I don't condone drug use when you're alone," he said worriedly.

"Except when time calls for a specific lady named Mary Jane," I giggled.

"Well yeah," he said obviously. "But she treats you nice. She's the kind of gal that tucks you in at night."

"Whatever Brody," I laughed. "Just send me the tea recipe."

"Alright, alright," he chuckled. "Keep your panties on. I'll send it to you in a bit. I need to finish getting dressed for tonight."

"Alright Brods. I look forward to your text," I laughed. "I'll let you get dressed now."

"Ok babe. I'll talk to you later," he said happily. "And please remember what I said about your trip."

"I will. Goodbye Brody," I said softly.

"Adios De-lie," he replied in the same tone.

I shut my phone and set it back on the counter, running a hand through my dark hair and deciding that I needed some music. I swiftly walked to the stereo in the living room, scrolling through my iPod for some kind of perfect music to listen to while I took my journey, suddenly wishing that I still had access to Brody's iPod. He was the kind of regular user of psilocybin mushrooms that always had a playlist just for setting the tone in order to have a wonderful trip. I still had some time to make a quick playlist while the tea was preparing so I decided on Coldplay for the time being, just to keep my mood calm.

It was finally Friday, two days after the incident at the club, and I was mentally exhausted. Rena, Sami, and Val were trying to talk me into talking to Syn about what had happened at Echoplex but I didn't want to be the one to deliver the message. It would more than likely be misconstrued as some kind of irrational attack on their relationship. I didn't want to be the one responsible for his pain if that was something he would go through with the news. It wasn't my place to interfere with that aspect of things. The truth would eventually come out the way it always did so it didn't need any help on my part.

When we joined the boys in the practice studio earlier in the day, I noticed that Tina would send apprehensive glares in my direction. I knew that she was still pissed about the girls finding out about her adulterous indulgences but she was way too worried about Rena's threat of exposure, complete with video and photo evidence, to act on it properly. She would just seem angry if she caught me looking at her but then quickly scanned the room to see if Rena noticed it, her glint of anger replaced with slight fear. It was actually quite interesting to watch today. Her behavior alone was a red flag that something was definitely not right with her. I had a feeling that she would get caught eventually if she kept this current act up.

Since it was finally the weekend, I decided that I was going to lounge around for a few days and do nothing. I didn't want to go out. I just wanted to check out for a while and I didn't feel the need to use alcohol in order to achieve that. When Garth, the happy-go-lucky hippie with dreads appeared at my door, I decided that it had been a while since I've had an out of body experience with psychedelics so I figured it would be better than drowning myself in loads of alcohol. I had no problem using drugs that were natural and magic mushrooms definitely fell within that scope of being natural. I saw nothing wrong with some light experimentation.

Today I wanted to make some tea and spend a few hours on the beach, relishing in all the natural beauty of the west coast with a completely free mind. I knew that I would be fine by myself if I took a medium dosage of the shrooms so I wasn't concerned with the worries Brody had with a bad trip. I had enough grams to last me a weekend so I decided that I would invite Jimmy over the next night to join me in some magic tea, since he would definitely be someone that would enjoy such an experience. Tonight, however, I wanted it to be just me and the beach. I needed some time to expand my thoughts and let my worries melt away.

Mail mother fucker! I heard my phone chirp loudly from the kitchen, signaling an incoming text message.

I headed back towards the kitchen, figuring the text was from Brody since he said he would text soon. I grabbed the phone from the counter and flipped it open, reading that the sender was who I suspected. I opened the text so that my phone would stop ringing repeatedly and glanced at the words.

Message: Brody R.
Received at: 5:35 pm
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8oz water, 1 teaspoon lemon juice, 1 tablespoon sugar, honey to taste
Mix together and bring to a boil; take off the heat and add ground shrooms. Cover and let sit 15 minutes. Add a bag of your favorite tea. Re-cover and let steep 5-15 more minutes. Strain through a coffee filter.

Reading the directions a few times and glancing at the light in the sky, I figured it would be a good time to start making my psychedelic beverage so I could feel the effects kick in within the time limit of the oceanic sunset over the horizon. Since there was about a half hour prep time, I started rummaging through the kitchen for the different ingredients required, softly singing along to the melodic sounds that flowed so perfectly through the speakers.

"Oh love, don't let me go. Won't you take me where the streetlights glow? I could hear it coming. I could hear the sirens sound. Now my feet won't touch the ground," I sang along loudly to the music, swaying blissfully along to the music.

I started measuring out all the beginning ingredients into a pan, mixing them together a bit before setting the pan on the stove top to boil. Once that was underway, I grabbed mushrooms from the fridge and took out about three nice looking mushrooms from the bag they were in and started grinding them up with a mortar and pestle so I could put them into the tea bags. Instead of dumping them straight into the pan, I decided that I would open up the peppermint tea bags and dump the ground up contents in there and let it sit for a while. I figured it would be better than having to strain the tea when I was finished.

I carefully opened up the tea bags, relishing in the strong minty aroma of the loose leaves already in place. I figured that I would use two bags to make the flavor stronger to overpower the horrible taste of the mushrooms, especially since the flavor of the tea was mild as opposed to strong like black tea. I carefully poured the ground up contents from the mortar into the bags, stapling them shut once I was done.

"Hello?" I heard a deep familiar voice call from the deck.

'Oh hell and damnation,' I thought bitterly to myself, groaning softly at the intrusion. 'Of all the times and places to traipse into my house, he picks now. Story of my life I guess. I never catch a break.'

I heard the heavy footsteps against the wood flooring as the person neared. I had one more bag to finish before I could take a small break as the water finished boiling. Sighing frustratingly, I set down my mortar as he walked into the kitchen, a small smirk upon those familiar lips.

"Why if it isn't Synyster Gates deciding to drop by unannounced," I said aloud with no emotion. "What have I done to earn such honor?" I asked in a mocking tone.

"I was over at Zacky's but he and Rena were heading out for the evening so I decided that I would drop by and see you since I have nothing better to do," he shrugged indifferently, stuffing his hands into his pockets.

"Glad to know that I'm the last person you run to when there are no other options," I muttered.

He shot me a questioning glance, detecting the annoyance in my voice, "Is everything alright?" he asked.

I sighed, running a hand through my short, messy locks and nodded, "Yeah I'm fine. I just thought I would get to spend an evening all to myself with a nice cup of tea and the ocean breeze. I didn't think anyone was going to wander into my house tonight after the exhausting practice you all had earlier."

He scrunched his face in more confusion, "Since when do you drink tea? You've always hated tea."

"Not this particular tea," I smiled inwardly. "It's a special mix."

"This isn't that same kind of tea Zacky was drinking when your friend was here, was it?" he asked, eyeing the contents of the recipe that were on my kitchen counter.

I shrugged, going about my business once again. I opened up the second tea bag and carefully poured the crushed mushrooms in with the dried tea leaves. I rolled the top back up and stapled it shut, placing both tea bags near the stove. I heard a loud sigh from the doorway where Syn was leaning and glanced up to his questioning gaze.

"I really had no idea that you were into taking drugs," he said, sounding a little surprised at my concoction I was making.

"Not all the time. I only shroom once in a while and since I didn't feel like getting wasted with a bottle of Jack, I figured I would take a journey to the beach and enjoy everything nature has to offer me," I explained with a small smile. "It's not all that bad. I mean, it's nowhere near doing lines off of a whore's backside."

"I guess you're right," he smiled. "But you're not supposed to be alone when you hallucinate. You could have a bad trip that will drive you mad."

"That's what Brody said too," I sighed. "But I have a feeling that I'll be ok. I'm not depressed or stressed about anything. I'm content and in need of a small escape from reality. I'm taking all the precautions to make sure I'll be ok."

"I would definitely feel better if you weren't alone while high," he said with worried eyes. "At least that way, I would know you're not going on a murderous rampage or anything."

"Why does everyone think I'll freak out and start killing people?" I asked exasperatedly. "I'm a lover, not a fighter."

"You never know what'll happen when under the influence," he replied.

"So what, are you suggesting that you're going to stay and chaperone?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Since I'm already here, might as well stay," he shrugged. "Besides, I don't really feel like going back home right now."

"But it'll be boring for you to watch me traveling further down the rabbit hole sober," I sighed.

"Traveling down the rabbit hole?" he asked curiously.

"You know, 'Alice in Wonderland' tripping? It's a line from 'The Matrix' right before Neo has to choose between the red and blue pill," I explained.

"Oh, alright," he nodded in understanding. "Well, I could just drink some liquor so you're not the only one that's not sober."

"Unless you would like some tea," I offered. "It's not that hard to whip up another quick batch for you if you're game. If I recall, you occasionally used to partake in some psychedelics."

"You have enough for more?" he asked in shock.

"Yeah. I bought about seven grams to last the weekend. I was planning on inviting Jimmy over tomorrow but since you're here and insist on staying with me throughout, might as well partake in mind-altering substances."

"Why the hell not," he said, walking further into the kitchen. "It's been a while since I've actually done anything so I guess it'll be ok."

"Alright," I nodded, grabbing another pan from the cupboard.

I began measuring out the ingredients once again, taking my pot of water off the heat since it was boiling and replacing the red hot burner with the newly created flavored water. I put my tea bags into the pan of already boiled water and covered it with the lid before grabbing three more mushrooms from the fridge to grind up with the pestle.

Syn watched me as I flowed through the kitchen fluidly, spinning around on the tiled floor with ease in my socks and singing lowly along to the peaceful melodies playing through the house. A small smirk played on his lips as he continued to hold his gaze on me, prompting me to wonder what he was thinking about. I quickly shook my questioning thoughts and finished the last few steps of making this tea.

I placed the bags into the boiling water and covered it, making sure to turn off the burner and let them sit so the flavor would set in. I put the remainder of the ingredients away before deciding to vacate the kitchen and create a playlist on iTunes that would only enhance the effect of the drugs. Syn followed me out of the kitchen silently, taking a seat on the couch as I grabbed my laptop from my bedroom.

I settled down on the couch, making sure there was plenty of space between us, and opened up the lid of my computer, watching the screen light up with life. I logged in my password and was immediately greeted with Windows music as my machine booted to life, iTunes appearing automatically on the screen.

"Do you mind if we watch some television while we wait?" Syn asked quietly, causing me to glance up at him from over the top of my screen.

"Sure," I shrugged. "You just have to shut the music off."

He nodded, standing up from his spot and heading straight towards the stereo, flipping off the switch and causing the music to abruptly turn to silence. He walked back to the couch and reclaimed his seat, leaning forward to grab the remote for the television and flipping it on. The screen immediately blinked on and displayed man and woman naked on a couch, having rather graphic sex. Their moans and groans filled the previous silence as Syn cocked his head to the side, casting a sideways curious glance at me.

"Rena and I frequently watch porn on Pay-Preview and make fun of it," I explained with a small smile and a shrug.

He let out a brief chuckle and shook his head, quickly changing the channel to some random movie on HBO. I just went back to composing my perfect list of music to listen to that was relaxing as well as interesting. I decided to throw both of the earlier Incubus albums on the list because it they fit perfectly. Once that was done, I started picking some random songs that fit the same category, mixing them together so there was a little variety in the mix.

Once I was done, I hopped up and grabbed the USB cord so I could upload the new list onto my iPod. I set the computer on the table and waited as it loaded, turning my attention to the movie that Syn was watching on television. I laughed when I realized it was 'The Wedding Singer', memories of when he asked me out instantly flooding my mind.

"No sir, but I'm a big fan of money, I like it, I use it, I have a little, I keep it in a jar on top of my refrigerator, I'd like to put more in that jar, that's where you come in," I said at the same time Adam Sandler did.

"This brings back some memories, doesn't it?" he asked, glancing over at me.

"Definitely," I nodded in confirmation, trying not to think about the past. I didn't want to take that trip down memory lane tonight. I just wanted to relax and enjoy my drug-influenced evening. "This is one of my favorite movies of all time," I said quietly, focusing on the television screen once again.

"Yeah, I remember," he said lowly.

I had a feeling I wasn't supposed to hear the subtext behind the way he said that but I couldn't help it. I detected it easily. His voice seemed to be laced with regret or guilt, which meant he was thinking negatively. I didn't dare look at him because I knew he would be staring off into space, chewing nervously on his lower lip. I was afraid of seeing a pained expression on his flawless face because it would remind me so much of the person he used to be.

We fell into an awkward silence that was thick with tension. Neither of us knew what to say to each other in that moment so we figured it was best just to keep our mouths shut. We both just watched the movie in silence, Syn's eyes staring at me from time to time. I did my best to ignore it. I didn't want any awkwardness between us, especially given our choice in activities for the evening.

I checked the time and noticed that adequate time had passed by without much trouble so I decided to check on the tea. I got up from my spot on the couch and silently walked into the kitchen, uncovering one of the lids from the pans and taking note of the color. I leaned over it and smelled it a bit, the strong mint aroma hitting me and making my eyes burn a bit. I smiled, happy to see that it was nearly done.

"Hey! We have tea!" I called out to him.

Syn reappeared in the kitchen, looking at the darkened liquid that I poured into a massive green mug. I did the same with the other pan, pouring its contents into a blue mug instead of a green one and placed them in the microwave. I figured the tea would need to be lukewarm in order to appreciate the flavor so I zapped both cups in the microwave for a minute or so.

As I did that, I grabbed my little boom box and pulled the iPod from the cord attached to my computer, seeing that the playlist uploaded, and a black throw that was on the end of the couch before heading outside to see the early beginning of the sunset. I placed the blanket over the railing of the deck and placed the boom box on the ground; pressing 'play' and hearing the electronic notes of Minus the Bear begin.

"Here," Syn said, handing me the green mug that was slightly steaming.

"Thanks," I said, smiling appreciatively.

I took a sip of the tea, noticing that the mushrooms were hardly noticeable over the peppermint and honey that were in this concoction. I shut my eyes, relishing in the taste and slight warmth of the liquid and decided that if I was going to drink this, I wanted to have the best spot to view the fantastic landscape of my hometown.

"Hey," I said softly, gaining Syn's attention, "could you hold this for a sec?" I asked, handing him my mug.

"Sure," he said with a nod.

I walked over to the edge of the railing on the right side of the house, climbing up onto it and pulling myself up onto the edge of the roof. I let my feet dangle over the edge of the rooftop, noticing Syn staring at me curiously. I motioned for him to join me, reaching down to take hold of our precious tea. He climbed the roof a lot better than me, taking back his blue mug as we both made our way up to the flat portion of the roof and settled comfortably.

I took another huge gulp of my tea and smiled, looking out at the pastel-colored sky reflected in the darkening waters below. I felt as if I were seventeen again and spending another evening with Brian on his rooftop, chatting about anything that came to mind. It felt so right to be up here with him again, reminding me of how much we used to enjoy talking to each other. I missed our conversations about nothing. They were the moments where I truly got to see the real Brian Haner. I had a feeling that I wouldn't be able to experience that again.

"God I haven't been on a rooftop like this in so long," he said quietly.

"Reminds you how beautiful your home is, doesn't it?" I asked, still gazing longingly at the pinks and purples that faded into each other.

"Yeah it does," he agreed.

"This was one of the first things I did when I got back to Huntington," I admitted. "I climbed up onto this roof one morning and watched the sunrise. I couldn't believe how much I missed this place until I saw one of the glorious SoCal sunrises," I told him, taking another sip of my drink.

"If I get the chance, no matter where I am, I climb the roof of our tour bus when we're on the road and watch the sunrise or set in the different parts of the world and it's never the same as it is here," he told me.

"I guess it just means that we're supposed to be in Huntington, doesn't it?"

"I guess so."

We fell into a comfortable silence as the music drifted up through the air gently, adding so much more to the moment than conversation could. It was nice to have a piece of the old Brian back, even though I knew it wouldn't last. I just wanted to hold onto this moment forever so I wouldn't have to be reminded that he's not real anymore.

"So, how long does it take to kick in this way?" he asked, drinking more of the scrumptious tea.

"Not long. About ten to twenty minutes," I shrugged.

"Well, that's a lot faster than taking them the conventional way," he said.

"It's a lot easier on the stomach to so there's less likely a chance that you'll get sick from it. And it tastes so wonderful, which is a big step up from how shrooms usually taste," I smiled. "I'm so glad Brody found this recipe. It's the only way to ingest this stupid drug," I laughed.

"Well, hopefully it'll be a good experience on both ends," he grinned.

"Here's to a memorable evening of exploration and oneness with nature," I said, holding up my mug for a toast.

"That was a very cheesy Zen-type line from a kung fu movie. It's so cliché," he laughed.

"Whatever. I happen to like cliché from time to time," I said.

He rolled his eyes but held his cup up nonetheless, "Alright, to a memorable evening," he said emotionlessly.

"Bottom's up," I laughed.

We clanked out mugs together, hearing the colored porcelain make a single musical note at impact before deciding to down the rest of the tea. It was smooth going down, which was a good thing because it would've sucked to throw up my chance at a relaxing evening. I set the mug down on a flat part of the roof and sighed contently, placing my hands in my lap and waiting for the drugs to kick in.

I just sat quietly, staring out at the water and taking in the smooth sounds of music that filled the air. Syn was also sitting by my side, as silent as the grave, and watching the sun slowly descend lower towards the edge of the water. It was a warm evening out, which I was thankful for since I was in a blue and green polka-dotted summer dress. I didn't want to change if I was going to go gallivanting around the beach weirdly because I was hallucinating. At least I would be comfortable.

"And now," Syn began, a smirk playing upon his lips as he spoke, "we play the waiting game."

'This better be a good night or else, I would've wasted a hell of a lot of delicious tea for nothing,' I thought to myself with a sigh.