Skeptics and True Believers

"So, you finally grew some balls and asked her out then?" I asked, sipping a bit of my Starbucks and flicking the ash of my cigarette.

"Ha, ha, ha. I've always had balls Dee," Brody said on the other line sarcastically. "But yes, I asked her out. We're going out to dinner tonight."

"Dinner? It's like a real date?" I asked in astonishment.

"Of course it's a real date," he laughed. "What'd you think it was?"

"If I recall correctly, 'Brody Redgrave doesn’t do dinner dates'. Those were your words, not mine," I said, taking a drag from the cigarette between my fingers.

"Yeah well, things change," he said, clearing his throat as if he was uncomfortable.

"It's about damn time you settled down. I would've hated to have to call your mom and let her know that her son was going to be a permanent playboy all his life. She's so looking forward to grandchildren from you! She tried to rent my uterus once so I could carry your child just so she would have one little baby in her life," I laughed.

"That sounds like my mom. She doesn't realize that I'm only twenty-five and still too young to be having children," he replied.

"Well, now that you have Natalie, I'm sure she'll hit her up for some kids. Just make sure you keep Natalie away from her for the time being," I laughed. "You don't wanna scare her off."

"If anyone could scare her off it would be my mother," he chuckled. "So, what're you up to right now? You sound like you're on the street somewhere," he said curiously.

"I'm outside of the studio right now, waiting on the set designers to finish setting up. The models are nowhere near finished with their styling but it's ok. I trust the stylists," I laughed. "Who knew that dressing models up like college kids would take so long?"

"What's this photo shoot?" he asked.

"You know that Asher Roth song?" I asked him, taking another drag of the cigarette.

"Yeah, the one about college? I love that song," he laughed.

"Well, I saw the video and decided that this shoot would be stereotypical scenarios seen at college parties, like strip poker and beer pong," I explained.

"Sounds awesome to me. Basically, you're getting paid large amounts of money to host a college party," he explained. "Jeez, your life is so blessed."

"It's not that blessed Brody," I laughed, smashing my finished cigarette out. "I have a lot of other shit to deal with that isn't as much fun as a model college party."

"I guess that's true but your job is easy at least," he laughed.

"You'd like to think that, wouldn't you?" I asked with a sigh.

"It could be worse. You could be taking pictures of Tina again," he replied.

"Oh I am," I said with fake enthusiasm.

"Whoa, what? She's modeling for you again?" Brody asked in disbelief.

"I guess her management company contacted whoever is in charge of the shoot and arranged it. No one told me about it until I arrived and saw her in hair and makeup. As if I needed more complication to my life," I sighed.

"That really sucks Delilah. I'm sorry," he said sympathetically.

"It's whatever. I'm not gonna let what's happened affect my work," I replied.

"Speaking of that, have you spoken to him?" Brody asked.

"Nope. After that morning he stopped by, he didn't try to contact me again. I had a feeling that he was coming back over for the morning because he thought I was in the same giving mood I had been the night before," I said with a shrug. "He's got a bipolar personality I can't really keep up with or worry about. When he does decide to speak to me, I'm going to confront him about everything and end this game once and for all."

"Wait, does that mean that you're signing the papers?" he asked in shock.

"Possibly. If he plans to keep this game up, I'm ending it. I don't want to be involved in stupid childish things like this. It's too much like high school," I said, taking a sip of coffee.

"Does that mean that you're coming back to New York?" he asked excitedly.

"I'm not sure yet. I need a little more time to figure things out before I act," I said.

"Hey Delilah! The set's ready!" I heard Kellie, my assistant from the shoot before, say as she popped her head out of the back door to the studio.

"Sounds like they need you back," Brody said.

"Yep, it looks that way but I'll definitely call you tomorrow or something. We can continue this discussion," I said warmly. "Besides, you'll have to tell me about the dinner date anyway."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," he said dismissively. "I'll call you tomorrow. I love you Lila."

"I love you too. Bye Brody," I said.

I heard the line click and go dead on the other end, signaling that our call ended. I shut my phone and shoved it into the back pocket of my jeans. I stood up from my seat at the patio table and grabbed my coffee cup, walking back into the studio to begin the day's worth of work ahead of me.

Four days had passed and I heard nothing from Syn. I didn't even try to contact him because there was no way in hell that I was ready to speak to him about anything. I had a feeling that if I spoke to him when my emotions were raging, I would make a decision to leave without a goodbye again and I didn't want that. I couldn't handle doing that to everyone once again so I spent the days in my house, thinking about what I could say to him.

The problem with that though, was that I started developing conversations in my head of how different scenarios would play out. They would never really happen that way though. The fictionalized Syn in my head engaging in these conversations was too generous. I had a feeling that if I did have these conversations with him in reality, they would turn into fights which would lead to irrational actions. I needed to wait until I was calm to speak to him, though I doubted that I would ever really be calm enough to speak to him.

Today I was working on a photo shoot for a fashion magazine based in New York that depicted the typical college party. I planned to have all different types of stereotypes, such as the typical frat boys and sorority girls, the college indie band, the nerds, strip poker players, dancers, and beer pong players. I made a new playlist that included a bunch of party songs to keep the energy levels up while we shot the pictures. I was pretty excited with the concept since there was so much that could be done with this specific subject.

I walked onto the set and right onto one of the college fraternity houses that hosted the crazy, loud parties that college students often went to during their time at the institution. The set looked like the inside of a huge house with the furniture astray and covered in plastic red cups and whatnot. There was a large round poker table in the corner of the room set up for games as was a large dining room table with red cups set up for beer pong. Large speakers were located in the corners of the room, most likely ready to play whatever playlist I had in my iPod for the shoot. Standing in the middle of the set, I was impressed once again with the production team.

"Alright, this looks great," I smiled, taking a sip of my coffee. "Are the models nearly ready?" I asked Kellie as she approached.

"Yeah. I just spoke to Christian and he said within the half hour," she replied, looking over some of the notes on her clipboard.

"Ok good. In the meantime, let's get some test shots in and tweak the lighting a bit. It's too dark near the poker table," I informed her.

I spent the rest of the time with my camera, shooting a few frames here and there to make sure the lighting was right. This shoot wasn't as difficult as the last one I did because it was a straight-forward party. I wasn't really trying to evoke any kind of expression through posing because I wanted it to be natural. College parties were pretty straight forward. I hoped that there wouldn't be problems with any of the models when it came down to getting a good shot.

The models all walked out of the dressing rooms, some completely dressed and some partly dressed in order to play their particular parts. This shoot was a larger deal so there were both male and female models and plenty of them to capture some great moments. I noticed Tina near the middle of the group, messing around with her halter top that nearly caused her breasts to spill out over the top. She was wearing a short denim mini-skirt that barely covered her ass and porn star type heels. It was amazing that she felt comfortable walking around practically naked like that. I wouldn't be able to pull off such a look. I just rolled my eyes at the outfit choice and grabbed my camera from the table.

"Alright everyone, now this is based off the Asher Roth video for 'I Love College'. I want everyone in their designated areas of the set acting their parts. Frat boys, you'll be dancing with the cheerleaders and party girls. The nerds will be near the stairs, comparing games and such while the guys at the poker table gradually remove their clothes. Remember, it's a party so have fun with the shoot, alright?" I smiled, instructing my models.

I heard a mixed response from the group as they all started setting themselves up in the set. I handed my coffee off to Kellie and walked into the set with everyone else. As most people naturally fell into positions, I had to place some of the others so they would be on the correct marks in order to be in the shots. Once everyone was where they were supposed to be, I moved back and grabbed the camera from Kellie, looking into the lense with a smile.

"Alright, let's get started. Don't forget to dance," I said, peeking out from my camera to look at the models. "And cue playlist!" I called.

The speakers started blasting fast-paced music with electronic whirling and a pounding bass line as the models started to dance as they were instructed. I started snapping photos, really liking what most of them were giving me. It seemed that the people at the poker table were really getting into their game as much as the people at the beer pong table were into theirs. Some of the expressions they had were just too funny since they looked rather serious about trying to win their fake games.

Snapping good photos of the dancers was difficult since they were moving around. I didn't want all of them to be blurry but at the same time, I wanted some of the shots to show their movement so I tried my best to take both by setting the camera to take multiple shots for every click. At one point, I had gotten in with the dancing crowd and joined them, dancing away with a very pretty Latin guy with bright green eyes. Everyone seemed to be really enjoying themselves so the atmosphere actually felt like a real party.

The only problem I seemed to have with this photo shoot happened to be Tina, since she was not aware of her angles to the camera or finding the correct light for each of her shots. The more I watched her dancing, the more I started to think that she was only interested in hooking up with one of the male models rather than actually modeling. I tried my best to keep her out of most of the shots, since she was so uninterested in actually performing the way she was supposed to. Her behavior on set and her lack of talent as a model made me wonder how she ever got work in the first place.

After about half an hour, I stopped the "party" in order to get the individual shots of each group, starting first with the guys pretending to be the indie band. Even though they probably had no idea how to play any of their instruments, they looked fantastic as typical trendy fashionistas rocking out at the college party. In order to get a shot of the singer performing, I told him to pick a song and sing it out loud. I was actually impressed that he wound up picking a Kasabian song to sing aloud, even joining in so he wasn't too self-conscious about singing.

As I continued to work my way through the different groups, I noticed that about halfway through the shoot, Brian decided to stop by. I nearly lost my cool the moment I noticed him standing near the lighting station, kissing his soon-to-be wife but I managed to shake off the new bundle of nerves that formed in the pit of my stomach and powered through the rest of the shoot. I couldn't be sure as to why Brian was here in the first place but whatever the reason, he was psychologically toying with me and I didn't like it. As much as I wanted to forget him and everything that had happened since my arrival in Huntington, I realized that it was impossible. I still loved that bastard and it killed me to know that soon enough, our marriage, though rather non-existent as it was to begin with, would soon be a thing of the past.

Soon enough, Brian Haner Jr would no longer be a part of my life.

Once I finished up with the poker table, I called for a lunch break, deciding that it would probably be a good time to pause in our work. I walked towards the lighting station, heading straight towards the laptop to plug my camera in and look at the pictures I had taken so far as most of the crew had gone off to enjoy their lunches. I glanced up, looking for any sign of Brian only to see his back as he and Tina walked towards the exit of the building, probably off to get something to eat together. Brian looked back once, catching my eye briefly and smirking at me before I looked back to the computer monitor. Sighing, I rubbed the temple of my forehead, feeling a sudden headache coming on.

I used my lunch hour to scroll through the photographs as well as listen to music on my iPod, trying to distract myself from my own thoughts involving a certain guitarist. I texted Brody in a panic, unsure of how to deal with the situation, to which he replied with the very unhelpful, "that fucking sucks". Scoffing at his remark, I decided that I had just wasted my time sending the text when he wouldn't provide me with any kind helpful tips to deal with this situation and tucked my phone back into my pocket.

The half hour passed quickly and everyone was slowly wandering back onto the set. I unplugged my camera, nodding my head along to the N.E.R.D. song that was playing over the speaker system. With only a few groups left to shoot as well as the final group shots involving glitter, confetti, and whipped cream and chocolate sauce, I decided to get started right away, not allowing the makeup artists or hairstylists to touch anyone up.

I started shooting pictures of my nerd group near the stairs, smiling at the fond memories of playing Gameboy and talking about 'Star Wars' during high school parties. I wasn't really the partying type, mainly due to the fact that I was a lot younger than most of the people I was hanging out with at the time but all that seemed to fade away after graduation. Now, I had no problems going out on the town, drinking and dancing the night away.

"I remember a time when you used to sport a very similar look," a familiar voice said as I sighed heavily.

I glanced to my left, finding Brian standing next to me with a small smile on his perfect lips as he comfortably leaned against a piece of equipment. I returned to shooting pictures, trying to ignore his presence beside me but finding it rather difficult. Now that we had slept together, all I could think about were the old feelings I had kept suppressed for all this time coming back to life, making me miss what we used to have. There was a saying that men and women couldn't be friends because eventually, the desire for sex with one another would ruin any kind of relationship between them. I was starting to see that point now in my current situation.

"Ok, thanks guys. Next group!" I called out, pulling the camera away and looking at Brian once more. "Is there something I can help you with?" I asked flatly, not really wanting to deal with him at the moment.

"You know we need to talk," he said seriously, standing up right and speaking lowly so only I could hear him.

"What's there to be said?" I asked, walking past him to the other side of the set.

"Hey, you were the one that wanted a conversation from the very beginning. It's the reason you wouldn't sign the damn divorce papers so all I'm trying to do now is arrange a time to get together and talk about things," Brian snapped, obviously not too happy with my dismissiveness.

"Look," I began, quickly turning to him and pulling him closer to me so he could hear me better, "why do you have to torment me at work? I'm pretty sure that Tina's not too thrilled with how this looks judging by the way she's scowling at me," I said, glancing towards the dancers and noticing Tina's death glare directed straight at me.

"All I want now is to know what the hell is going on. Things are already screwed up and we need to talk about them," he said sincerely.

Sighing, I knew he was right. We needed to have a talk since things have gone horribly wrong. Coming out here in the first place, I never expected things to get so complicated, especially since I thought I would only be out here for a few weeks. After everything that's happened between us, we just needed to get everything resolved before it became worse. As much as I didn't want to get involved with it, I knew this conversation needed to happen.

"Alright, we'll talk," I replied with defeat.

"When?" he asked, determined not to let me dismiss him once again.

"Tonight. I'll stop by tonight after work and we'll have our talk then," I said, deciding what needed to get done.

"I'll make sure Tina's preoccupied after work," he replied with a nod of understanding. "Then I'll see you later tonight," he added, walking away from me and over to Tina.

I watched at the "happy" couple exchanged a few harsh words before Brian seemed to change her attitude. She smiled brightly at whatever he had said, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck and giving him a sloppy kiss on his lips, sending a brief pang of jealously through me as I watched the display of affection. I tried my best to ignore it, looking away and breathing deeply, as I realized that I was the only one to blame for my suffering since I complicated matters.

Brian left not too long after his conversation with Tina, leaving me to continue the job I was supposed to be doing. As I continued the photo shoot, I could hardly focus. I tried my best to throw myself back into the work but would get preoccupied by thoughts of tonight's impending conversation. I dreaded the thought of what I needed to do next but knew there was no other way around it.

I was stuck at a fork in the road, needing to choose my next course and scared of making the wrong one.