Be My Light

I was trapped between these tile walls, but not for long. We planned our way out of this. Everything was set, nothing could go wrong.

“Amber I brought you something to eat and to see how you’re doing.” My father’s voice echoed through the door. “Tomorrow we’ll fix this mistake; we’ll have nothing to worry about.” His voice made me sick, I never thought I could feel so much repulsion towards someone. “Amber don’t be mad. Honey, I’m only doing this because I want the best for you.”

I wanted to open the door and scream at him. Tell him how much I hated him. But there was no use in it, no matter what I said there was no way that his conservative mind would accept this ‘mistake’ as a blessing.

“I’ll leave this on the desk so you can eat whenever you get hungry.” The sound of the footsteps sounded faint and the door slammed closed. Paranoid, I turned the doorknob.

Im ready <3

A short text that in the moment meant the world to me. He would come over and save me, like I had read so many times before.

My musings were cut off by a grumbling stomach, just then I remembered that my perturbed mind wouldn’t allow me to eat or do anything. So I took the still warm sandwich from the desk and sat on the edge of the bed.

The pair of green eyes were focused on me as he jumped around the stage. Never before had I seen him so happy, this was what he always wanted.

His warm smile still had the exact same effect on me than three years ago, when for the first time I saw him. Since then, the butterflies made their appearance whenever he showed up, when I heard his voice or received a message from him. And I liked that feeling.

”Oh she makes me feel like shit It’s always something
But I can't get over it She thinks it’s nothing
'Cause she's everything I ask for
Everything I ask for
And just a little bit more
Everything I ask for
Everything I ask for
Just a little bit more
Everything I ask for
Everything I ask for
So much more”

By the time he had stepped forward to the crowd singing directly to me.

“Everything I ask for, everything I ask for.”

My face turned all possible shades of red, he loved singing to me whenever he got the chance, and every time he did my heart felt warm.

“And so much more.”

John always found a way to make me feel like goo and to draw a goofy smile on my face.

John returned to the mic stand. “Amber, I just want to let you know that you make me incredibly happy. I can’t conceive my life without you. You mean to me more than anything in the world. I’m not good at speeches, but I want you to know that I want to be with you, forever and ever, no one else but you, no matter what.” In moments like that I could only cry, because I couldn’t find a way to express how blessed I felt to have him as a boyfriend.

He took a few steps forward. “Amber I love you so, so very much.” This was fallowed by a loud ‘aww’ from the crowd, a few ‘fugly whore’ from the jealous girls and a few whisperings that wondered who Amber was.

“You’re lucky to have him Amber.” Both Rachel and Gabby agreed. I couldn’t fight back the smile that curved my lips.

Soon the concert was over. Having our boyfriends in the band gave us benefits like backstage passes.

When we entered the room, I could hear the boys making fun of John for that love confession moments ago, his cheeks turned rosy when he caught my eyes. We met half way, exchanging shy smiles as I felt lost in those sparking eyes.

John embraced me in his strong arms. A kiss. “The show was amazing, we made love to the kids out there.” John laughed pressing me against his body. The smile that graced his lips remained as he pulled away. He stared at me and read through my eyes.

“What’s wrong sweetheart?” He asked caressing my cheeks in a lovely way.

“There’s something I need to tell you John.” I stuttered uneasily without making eye contact. I was terrified. He kept being adorable and played with my hair, like he loved to.

“Sure.” John took my hand and said out loud. “Guys could you give us a few minutes?”

The guys nodded and walked out in fits of laughter. Kennedy gave something to John, something that made him redden. “Oh, by the way Amber, nice hickeys.” Kennedy has talent to make people blush. Hand in hand with Gabby he left John and me in a locked room.

“What did he give you John?”

At first he was reluctant about it, but gave in with an overdramatic sigh and opened his hand to reveal a condom. A moment of awkwardness took over between us.

“Oh, before I forget, I have something for you my love.” John walked to the table across the room, he returned with his bag in hand and a grin lingering his face.

He stood in front of me smiling like a five year old before handing me a Rockstar and sour Wonka Nerds. His detail overwhelmed me with happiness making me jump into his arms, only to have him stumble a few steps. He laughed as the embarrassment colored my face.

I gained my composure. “Baby, you said you wanted to say something, what is it?”
I took John’s hand and lead him to the couch. I opened the can and took little sips. John waited patiently.

I fail at stalling.

“Honey I won’t get mad, I promise. Now, please will you tell me what’s wrong?” He asked adorably taking the can from my hands and placing it on the floor.

A deep breath encouraged me to continue. “John, I, well I- I’m pregnant.”

“I’m sorry. What did you just say? I didn’t hear you.” A confused smile softening his features.

“John I’m pregnant. I didn’t mean to, it was an accident.” I started crying desperately.

John stared with eyes wide open in disbelief. “John I’m not expecting you to marry me. In fact it’s ok if you hate me, I’m not begging you to stay, I’ll understand if you leave.”

He started crying softly. I waited and waited for him to speak, for a few reassuring words, but he didn’t say anything.

When he didn’t say anything I thought that he hated me. But like most of the time, I was wrong. Before I could even attempt to get up, John’s arm caught me.

“Don’t go. Amber I love you, what I said is true, no matter what I’ll always be with you.” With his thumbs, lovingly he caressed away the tears from my face. “I’ll stay with you always holding your hand. We’ll have this baby.”

“John you don’t have to do this. I don’t want-”

He shut me by placing his finger on my lips, to replace it with his lips. “We’ll make it through everything Amber. We are meant to be. You and me together, forever.” He looked sadly at the condom on the floor. "I guess we won't be needing that."