Coffee Shop Soundtrack

Three…

“Alyson!!” Zack said running towards me as I took a step forward. He caught me and threw me on the ground. He threw far from the edge of my death.

“Are you out of your mind?!?!” Zack yelled.

“Are you out of yours?” I shot back

“You could’ve died back there!”

“I know what I was doing”

“Do you know how Jack would feel if he knew that you were gonna jump of that cliff?!”

“Ya! He’d be happy!”

“You really are out of your mind”

“Well he’ll mourn first but he’ll be happier after I die!”

“Should I check you in at a mental hospital or should I bring you to a normal hospital first?”

“Let me explain.”

“The floor’s all yours”

“Ever since I went back with Jack, all he’s ever felt was sadness. He’s not happy with me and I cause him more and more pain every single day even more when Oli is around chasing after me. They were really good friends before but look at them now. You don’t see friendship in the glares they send each other now, do you? NO and that’s why it would be best for everyone if I was never here because all I can give is pain and now that I have the chance to actually die, you come and stop me. How pleasant. But do you know how much pain this all costs me? More than what they feel! When I see them shout their throats out and throw punches at each other, when I see them destroy the friendship they once had, it causes me agony and I just cant bear with it any longer and right now, death is the only solution to the problem I have and here you are making me look for another way to solve my problem. Do you know how much more pain I have to go through to finally find the answer I’ve been looking for?” I said and this left him standing there and suddenly, a tear fell from his eye.

” Zack, I know you wanna protect me but I don’t think this is what I deserve. You should go protect someone else. You’re a good friend and I don’t deserve you to come here and stop me. I know that if I fall off that cliff, it’d be the last time we’d see each other and I know its not fair coz we hardly spent time with each other but I assure you that I am just a waste of your time and that the only thing I can ever bring you is what I bring Oli and Jack, sadness. This week I think I have cried at least a thousand tears and I have never cried that much ever since. I’ve made a lot of people unhappy and they give me the exact opposite, well some of them but the point is that I don’t deserve this life. I don’t deserve to be here and meet all of you. Its like I’m living someone else’s life and I cant help but think that I am just a worthless being and a stupid masochistic girl who has a wonderful bunch of friends and an amazing boyfriend who has always been there for me. I just don’t deserve it” I said getting up from the ground and dusted the dirt off my pants. I walked over to the edge again. While I was walking, Zack held me back. He gave me a bear hug which almost crushed my bones.

“No, I will not allow this” he said trying his best to prevent his voice from breaking.

“Zack, as I said, I don’t deserve it.”

“You are not going to leave me” he said carrying me farther away from the edge. He placed me down under the tree that led outside. He grabbed my hand and dragged me all the way to the back of the bus. He released me when I sat on the couch. I stared at him guiltily.

“See even you’re unhappy I-“

“Stop it! Sit here and wait til I come back” he ordered and ran outside the bus.

He needed some space to calm down and I guess I can wait until he came back. There were a lot of things on my mind but one think that sticks out is the thought of making Zack cry. I’ve never made a guy cry in my life before and losing a friend might be really emotional and it might require tears but I just didn’t expect some from him. Did he really care so much? And if he did why? We hardly knew each other and ever since, all he did was care. I just don’t get him sometimes. He seems like a nice friend but friends don’t care too much. Not to the point where it drives them to tears. Does he have feelings for me? I mean more than friends? This is too much to handle. I didn’t expect my life to end this way. It makes sense coz I never really expect a lot of things. I just wait for time to pass and my life to go with it. I just think of my very last breath and where I’d spend it. With whom I’d spend it with. Will I be alone when it comes? So many questions I wanna know the answers to.

Time passed but it felt like years. Zack came back with Jack and his Zack’s eyes were puffy. Jack ran to me and hugged me tightly.

“I heard what happened and I don’t want that to happen again. You deserve everything you have and you were wrong when you said that all I’ve been feeling was misery when in real life I’m 100 times happier than I’ve ever been in the last few months. Ever since you came back to me, I couldn’t wish or think that there could or would be something more. All my prayers have been answered and I’m really ecstatic about it but if you leave me and there would be no other way to persuade you to come back, I’d kill myself so that we can be in a place better than this. We could live forever with nothing to tear us apart but I wouldn’t want to be a burden to my friends and put them in a complicated position, to have them find a guy who can replace me and make them start all over again when they’ve reached this far. They wouldn’t want me dead and I’m sure as hell they wouldn’t want you dead either. So if you want everyone else to be happy you’d follow my advice and stay alive, stay awake, get a grip and get out coz you’re saved from the weight of the world. Just take a second to set things straight. I know, I know, no originality, I’ve heard that so many times” he whispered and I giggled towards the end.

“See just seeing you happy automatically makes me happy and I like making people laugh. I like keeping you here like this in my arms and I would never ever want to let go coz if I do, I wouldn’t know what would happen. You know, you’re the most amazing girl in this world. The most amazing girl I could ever have. No matter how many times I try to look and search for someone to replace you, I wouldn’t be able to find her coz you’re one in a kabadajillion and no one can ever be as awesome as you. You’re amazing and you don’t even know it. You even made Zack cry and I don’t know how you did it but you did. I’ve never met anyone who made him cry as hard as you made him cry. I haven’t even seen him like this. He had girlfriends, sure, but they don’t make him cry, well not like that. And you’re not only amazing coz you made a guy like Zack cry but you’re amazing coz you actually understand me and you listen to me and you laugh at my really corny jokes. I don’t know how you do it but you never fail to make me happy and that’s why I love you. You always make my knees shake when you say I love you. You give me goosebumps when you touch me. You send chills down my spine when you kiss me. You take my breath away when you pass by. You make my heart pound ten times faster when you come near. You find me attracting and you seem to hold on to me when I know you can let go. You would even die for me but I wouldn’t want you to because I’d never know what to do. So please don’t make my life any harder by being away.” He said and my eyes started to well up some tears.

“Jack, I love you”

“I love you too.” And with that, I pressed my lips against his. After one kiss I excused myself. And went to see where Zack went.

“Zack?”

“Yea?” he said from his bunk and so I walked to his bunk.

“Thank you so much.” I said and I gave him a little kiss on the cheek.

“Anytime” he said and I returned to Jack.

“Zack, you okay in there?” Jack asked once we passed by.

“Yea but I might be late for the show so just stall if ever.”

“Okay.” Jack said and he placed my hand in his and we walked to ATL’s set.

Jack and I talked about silly experiences we had in the past. We both were happy and I was even happier to see that I finally saw him happy. I saw him happy with my own eyes. I searched for his eyes and immediately his eyes landed on mine and we stared at each other for a while. Then the first show started. And Check Yes Juliet by We The Kings played. All Time Low’s set was up next so we hurried back stage to where Alex and Rian were waiting.

“Where’s Zack?” Alex asked.

“In the bus. He said just stall if he doesn’t make it on time.”

“What?!?!” Alex panicked. I never thought Alex would be nervous before shows. I thought he’d have lots of experience.

“Dude, take a chill pill” Jack said laughing at the way Alex was acting or I think overacting would be a better word.

We all laughed and tried to calm Alex down and we waited for Zack. He was on time and Alex finally settled down. Minutes later, it was their turn to take the stage. They were all on stage and I watched them from the back.

“How’s everyone doing tonight?” Alex greeted through the mic and everyone screamed in reply.

“Okay imma take that as a rockin’ mood. So why don’t we start the show?” Alex said and opened the show with Let It Roll and everyone sang or screamed along with them. I sang as well and was looking intently at Jack as he shot me glances. I smiled every time he turned to face me and he couldn’t help but smile back.

They played an awesome show that rocked warped tour off the ground. Everyone bought ATL merch and waited for the guys to get out so that they could take pictures ask them to sign autographs. I was happy just to see Jack happy as a bunch of fans attacked him for his autograph and picture. I laughed at him for being so helpless. It was crazy. After everyone got what they wanted, Jack kissed me with so much enthusiasm.

“I missed you” he said.

“But I was right there at the back.”

“I know but still” he said as he kissed me once more.

“So what now?” I asked.

“Hmm…I’m really tired now so why don’t we go back to the bus” he said smiling.

“Okay.” I said as we walked back to the bus.

My life is starting to turn around and hopefully there wouldn’t be any more twists and turns that can ruin it. So many things happened today and I’m just happy that nothing terrible happened and that no one had to lose a friend or a life.

Live your life the way you want to. Don’t hold back on anything coz the outcome of what you do will always have a purpose. Good or bad, right or wrong, either or, they all lead to your purpose in life. So don’t be afraid coz someone will always have your back. If ever they cause you happiness and you think you cause them pain, open your eyes and look outside the box. In other words think twice before you jump to conclusions because jumping to conclusions can lead to mistakes and once you have committed one you can’t take it back, you have to learn from it. So now, I have to learn from mine and hopefully I’ll learn quickly coz I don’t wanna spend my life regretting all the things I’ve done…