Shameless

Eventually, I had all three girls downstairs, and we ran out to the car.

Today was the day the boys all got back from their tour.

I know what you're thinking, they're old now, why are they still touring? and all that blabbity blah. But you know what, they are amazing.

Don't underestimate them.

We all piled into the car, Jasey taking the passenger seat.

I turned on the radio, and of course Shameless came on.

The song Alex wrote about me when he heard I 'did' Jack.

Hips sway and lips lie

I'm not a liar!

Like clockwork she's in control of all the right guys

If any of them were right, I'd be married right now.

And I'm still waiting

LIES! You got me first!

I let out a little scream and slammed the power button on the radio.

"Wow, psycho, calm down," Jasey said, putting her iPod headphones in her ears.

She turned the volume up to maximum and pressed play.

She played her song.

Her favorite song.

The song her daddy wrote for her.

I could hear it.

He wrote it immediately after her birth.

Right after the doctors wheeled her away from me, Alex sat down on the floor with a piece of paper and a pencil.

It was his declaration that he was going to make Jasey love him.

And he was going to do it really sneakily, so it seemed like I was the bad guy if anything ever upset her.

He was going to be the best dad ever.

And help her through anything, and protect her from guys.

Without marrying me.

I knew the meaning behind each word.

I turned to the backseat to make sure Maria and Holly were buckled in.

Maria was, and playing her handheld video game already. She was quite a quirky goofball. She reminded me so much of her father, Jack. And they are both total sweethearts.

I looked at Holly. She was buckled in, and trying to keep her tiny skirt from revealing her underwear, already flirting with some unidentified boy on the phone. She was so much like me, it was kind of scary. She had Zack's blonde hair, and my dark hazel eyes. And my tendency towards guys. She didn't even look 12. And lots of 15 and 16 year old boys noticed that. Ugh.

I looked over at Jasey, who was whispering the lyrics to her song. She could just sing, she had an amazing voice just like Alex. She just hated to let me hear it. She didn't like me in general. Her own mother! The one who dropped out of highschool for her! But that's just another thing that made her more like her dad, the fact that she could be the sweetest, goofiest person in the world, and was very popular, but could hold a grudge about anything forever.

When Jasey hit age 8, Rian told her how she and her sisters really came to be, and I went from mommy to mother. I became her least favorite person just like that.

Thanks, Robert. (note the sarcasm)

Robert Rian Dawson is probably the most bipolar brother in the world.

I think he only took me in for the girls, because he seems to hate that I was a part of it.

The entire ride to the airport, Holly was on the phone, with two girls and four different guys.

Maria continued her handheld video game, at points telling me about random events in her life, and Jasey sat in silence blasting her music in her ears and staring out the window or texting.

Finally, after a horrible 2 hours, we got there.

The moment of truth was about to unfold.